Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight or the original characters. The plot, however, is mine all mine.

Thanks to Keye for the pre read and Rita01TX who is the best Beta a girl could ever wish for. Hugs to you honey xx

Time to catch up with our Nolongeravirginward...

Chapter 36

Propelled beyond the speed limit by the butterflies in my stomach, the Harley flew along the highway.

I was going to be early...very early...again.

Had I learned nothing from yesterday's haste?

Sitting up a little straighter, I eased back on the throttle. Besides looking too eager, getting a speeding ticket would take some of the shine off my first day at work, not to mention how I'd explain it to my parole officer.

My mind wandered remembering my date with Ella and a shit eating grin split my face from ear to ear.

It probably sounded dumb but I somehow felt lighter without the weight of my virginity on my back. Recalling the mind blowing sensation of my cock sinking into her fierce heat, I wondered how much better it would have been if a fucking condom hadn't been numbing everything. Could I have felt her slick walls clinched around my dick? And, if so, would I have lasted long enough to make it feel good for her? I might have been a novice but I wasn't naïve enough to think the earth had moved for her.

No condoms...like that was going to happen. I'd been careful to avoid using while I was inside and although I was pretty sure I was clean, there was always a risk I'd caught something from the tattoo artist's needle and I'd spilled so much blood in those fights. Unwanted pregnancy was the least benefit of using one.

That said, I didn't know when I might get a chance to even try and please her again. Between the Chief, Mom and Rose always hanging around, we would have precious little privacy.

A red sports car zoomed past, its slipstream buffeting me slightly, and I was shocked to realize how far I'd traveled completely unaware of what I was doing.

Never a smart move on a motorcycle.

I shook it off and forced all thoughts of getting myself tested and sexing up Miss Swan to the back of my mind.

The Marks's Auto Shop sign finally came into view and I swung the bike onto the forecourt. Wilson was already there, wincing as he dragged the huge, metal door open. I pulled the bike to a halt and yanked off my helmet. He squinted before realizing it was me and waved me over.

"Morning, Ed," he called, "Glad to see you're so eager to start."

"Well, I gotta earn my staff discount somehow," I chuckled, fishing the packed lunch my mother had made from the saddlebag.

"Your headlight should come in today," he said, nodding at where I'd parked the Harley. "You'll get a chance to fit it this afternoon."

"Oh yeah? I didn't think it would be here so soon. I didn't bring any cash...other than maybe twenty bucks."

He shrugged.

"I figure you need this job so you'll be back tomorrow and I'll feel better knowing you've got a good working light on that bike."

I didn't know what to say. He was putting his trust in me and there was no way I would let him down.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

A man of the world, he didn't make a big deal out of it, just turned towards a small, twisted OPEN sign…one of those gaudy, old fashioned metal ones that spun around in the breeze.

"Ehhh, that's okay. Besides, I'm not letting you have the mufflers until you've been here a few weeks."

He was struggling to drag the sign to the curb so I quickly stuffed my lunch box inside my helmet, hooked my forearm through the chin strap and jogged over to help.

"Here, let me do it," I said, taking over and pulling it to the curb. The damn thing was deceptively heavy. "How're those ribs feeling?"

That old car of his was a heavy girl. He'd been lucky she hadn't broken anything when she'd fallen on him. His mouth twisted as his hand rubbed across his chest.

"Hurt like fire when I tried to lie down in bed Friday night. Wound up sleeping in my old recliner but I'm okay this morning."

Knowing only too well how long busted ribs took to heal, I didn't for a second believe he was better.

When he was satisfied the place was set up for the day, he patted my shoulder and told me to follow him inside. I trailed along as he showed me around, pointing out the necessities like where I would find the phone, the head and the cookie jar.

"Here," he said, handing me a pair of royal blue overalls. "They're an old pair of mine so they might be a little short in the leg but they'll do the job until I can order some in your size."

"Thanks," I said, fingering the golden yellow, embroidered Marks's Auto Shop logo.

I'd purposely worn a pair of old sweatpants and a threadbare t-shirt until I could organize some work clothes for myself. Wilson was a few inches shorter in height and roughly double that same measurement larger in the waist than me, making the overalls a particularly poor fit. Even though I struggled to wriggle into them, I wasn't about to bite the hand that fed me by whining about it.

"If you decide you want to stay on after the parts are worked off, you'll need to start getting yourself some tools and a decent box for storage. You can borrow mine in the meantime; just make sure you keep everything clean and put 'em back in the toolbox after you're done."

I could've taken offense at his remark, like he didn't trust me not to steal something, but I got the impression it was more to do with looking after his equipment and expecting me to treat them with the same measure of respect he did.

"Thanks a lot," I said then stood there like a dummy. I didn't want to ask what happened next so I rocked on my heels for a moment.

He smirked gleefully and shook his head.

"Tell you what, that Nissan over there needs new brake pads but, before you get your hands all greasy, I need a drink in my mug."

"Tea?" I asked, remembering the brew he'd requested last week and he nodded. "You want a slug of Jack in it?"

"You remembered," he chuckled. "It's a little early for me...but you'll do okay here, son."

Trying not to blush like a whore in church, I scuttled off in my too short but baggy uniform to make the drinks. It felt good knowing I had a girlfriend, a job and a boss I got along with. Maybe my life was finally turning a corner after all.

I scooted under the car and got to work while Wilson wandered around whistling. Back in the cells, there was always someone who could blow a decent tune and it felt familiar, almost comforting. It made me think about Emmett and I couldn't help smiling to myself.

As I toiled away, I wondered how he was getting along without me, if he'd get my letter today and whether he'd been assigned a new cell mate yet and, if he had, would they be bonding like we did? With a pang of sadness, I realized I missed the big galoot more than I ever thought I would.

"Ed, you gonna answer that or you want me to?" Wilson hollered, bending low to peer under the Nissan.

"What's that?" I replied, having no idea what he was talking about.

"Your cell? You want me to pass it to you?"

He held out the small, silver phone I'd left in the office with my jacket and I hesitated before taking it, mumbling my thanks. I was so used to not having one, I hadn't even noticed it ringing.

Rose had presented it to me when I'd gotten back yesterday, wanting to make sure I could get hold of her or Mom if I should need them. Of course, she was also still concerned someone might try to make trouble for me so it probably eased her conscience a little knowing I was within reach. Even so, it was a sweet thing for her to do and I was grateful to have it.

Squinting at the tiny screen, I was expecting to see Rose's name lit up but it was my girl.

Ella had been the first person I'd called, not that I had many numbers to choose from. When she'd asked if I wanted to program her number into my phone at the end of our date, I'd been embarrassed not to have one. "For when you get one," she'd said, writing it down on a scrap of paper for me. Later that night, a bad case of nerves wreaked havoc on my insides while I counted the rings, praying it would be her sweet voice that answered and not the Chiefs deep baritone.

Lucky for me, she'd been in her room painting her toenails. We'd said very little but there'd been an intensity to the intervening silences that made words unnecessary. Being connected to her even by phone had made my heart beat a little bit faster and I'd listened to the soft tone of her voice, picturing her sweet lips moving as she spoke, wishing I could have been lying next to her instead of separated by a few measly miles.

"Hi," I said softly, acutely aware Wilson was most likely within earshot.

"Hey," she said. "I thought I'd call and see how your first day was going."

Even though she couldn't see it, I smiled, unused to having anyone other than my family interested in my wellbeing. It felt strange...a nice kind of strange.

"It's good, thanks for asking." I paused before asking, "How are you doing?"

She sighed heavily and I immediately imagined something was wrong.

"I've got to figure out what to make for dinner, go to the store and I have a huge pile of laundry to tackle."

Grateful it wasn't anything worse, I relaxed. She'd already explained how she was the grease that kept the wheels of the Swan household turning so, as far as I was concerned, she had every right to bitch if she felt like it.

Now, small talk was all well and good but I needed to cut to the chase.

"When can I see you again?" I asked.

She hesitated and my insecurities kicked in. What if she was going to make an excuse to tell me we were through, softening me up with a little fake concern before BAM!...hitting me with the rejection speech. Had my performance been so piss poor I'd left her disappointed or had her father put his foot down when he'd found out we'd been out together?

My mind went completely nuts and I gnawed my lip to stop myself blurting out something that would've made me sound whiny and pathetic.

"I wanted to see you tonight but Jake called this morning to tell me Ben's wife went into labor last night and he's desperate for someone to cover his shift."

My jaw tightened at the mention of her boss's name. Would she have been so quick to offer her help if she knew he went around telling virtual strangers they had a "thing" going on? I'll admit I didn't know who this Ben guy was but I had to assume his excuse was genuine.

"A baby," I said thoughtfully. I'd never really allowed myself to think about the prospect of having a child of my own. I'd spent so long telling myself no one would want me, I'd begun to believe my own hype.

"Two," she giggled, "Angela, his wife, is having twins."

"Twins? Wow! That'll sure keep them busy."

"Just a little bit," she laughed, the happy sound making me feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy.

"So, what night are you off this week?" I asked, hoping she wasn't going to say Sunday. Six days was too long to wait.

"Thursday," she said.

It still seemed too far away but I sucked it up.

"Well, that gives me three days to plan a date, then," I said, not having a clue where to take her. At least if the bike's headlight was fixed, we wouldn't be tied to getting home before dark.

"Okay, Mr. Mechanic, I'll let you get back to work. Call me later?"

How could I refuse a request like that?

"Sure will, baby. Bye."

"Bye."

What I really wanted to do was hang on the line like a crushing teenager until she hung up first but I was at work so I pressed the End Call button and slid the phone into my pocket.

"That your girl?" Wilson asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"You been together long?" he probed.

"No," I grinned, thinking how quickly our relationship had developed. "It's been kind of a whirlwind since I got out, actually."

He nodded with a faraway look in his eyes, probably recalling the early days of his own failed relationship.

"Whirlwinds can be good...intense," he chuckled and I didn't know if it was because he was an ex con or that he'd trusted me enough to give me a chance but I felt like I could talk to him without fear of reprisal.

"Would be if we could spend more time alone together," I complained.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Even though he hadn't been doing much dirty work, he pulled a rag from his back pocket and wiped his fingers. The cloth looked old and probably added more grease than it removed and I suspected he did it out of habit.

"Well, she lives with her dad and works evenings in a bar…I live with my mom and sister, so getting any time alone together is going to be kind of difficult," I explained.

"And my guess is her daddy ain't none too happy about your past, either?" he presumed, accurately, of course.

"That's one way to put it. He's a cop," I snorted.

Wilson sucked in a sharp breath through his pursed lips like someone had slapped him.

"Well, keep your nose clean and prove to him you've changed. Just remember, true love can't be ignored. He'll either get used to it or he won't but, end of the day, this is about you and her."

True love? It was early days to be throwing words like love around. Sure, I liked Ella and I really liked sex with Ella but love...love was something more, something deeper. It meant opening my heart and soul, risking rejection and ridicule for the sins of my past. It was way too soon for that.

Uncomfortable with the direction this discussion was taking, I changed the subject.

"Hey, Wilson! I'm just about finished here but I could use your help to bleed the system," I suggested.

"Sure thing, son," he agreed.

As he rounded the car and slipped behind the wheel, I hoped he wouldn't pry any further into my love life.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Learning the ropes kept me pretty much fully occupied but memories of my date with Ella somehow invaded my thoughts when I least expected, conjuring up the warmth of her lips on mine, the scent of her hair and the agonizing pleasure of sliding into her tight heat.

How the hell was I going to get through the next three days without seeing her?

Before I knew it, I'd fitted my new headlight to the Harley, helped Wilson close up and found myself back on the road to Forks.

The drive was comfortable enough and I took my time, enjoying the cooler, pine scented, late afternoon air. Even though it was still daylight, I tested the new headlight just to be sure it worked.

The sky was just beginning to darken as I got closer to home, the last rays of light forcing their way through the huge trees lining the road to Forks. The shadows cast over the asphalt made it feel more like twilight than dusk but my new light lit the way perfectly as I made the turn into our driveway, sighing at the warm, welcoming sight of home.

The house itself was a modern three-story with large, floor-to-ceiling, plate glass windows allowing a golden glow from the internal lights to pour over the bordering shrubs and paths. Hidden behind the solid mahogany front door, only the entrance hall held any degree of privacy on the ground floor. As I pulled up, I could see my mother busy in the kitchen. The place was undeniably beautiful but it didn't allow you to keep any secrets. Your life was lived in full view of any passing voyeur.

A shiver ran up my spine, like someone had just walked over my grave, and I remembered from Rose's journal entries how Royce had lain in wait until my mother left before leaving a rose on the doormat. Slipping away to the safety of the thick greenery, he'd made sure it was discovered and watched as she moved through the house.

Yes, the place was beautiful but it had made her a sitting duck.

I parked the bike and jogged up the front steps, fumbling the zipper open on my pocket to get to the door key.

"Hey, I'm back," I announced, pulling the helmet from my head and rubbing my hand through my flattened hair. I still felt a little out of place and, although Mom would want me to call it my home, the words seemed to stick in my throat.

"Edward! How was your first day, dear?" Mom asked hopefully as she drizzled some kind of dressing over a bowl of salad leaves and cherry tomatoes.

"Great," I replied, intending to snag a tomato. As a young boy, I'd have risked a rap on the knuckles with the salad fork if she'd seen me reaching across to steal one. The childhood memory pulled me up short and I left them where they were…this time.

"What's your boss like?" she asked.

"He's a cool guy, Mom. I like him," I replied, happy to have lucked out in that regard.

I could tell she was just getting warmed up on the questioning and I was too tired to go over every little detail of my day so, before she could ask anything else, I excused myself.

"Listen, I'm all grimy so I'm gonna run jump in the shower and get changed," I told her.

Mom's smile flickered in disappointment for a split second before she nodded in agreement. I'd nearly made it out of the kitchen when she froze me in my tracks.

"Oh, by the way, a letter came for you. It's on the counter over there," she said, raising her eyebrows to indicate the buff envelope propped against the coffee maker.

Ever suspicious, I frowned. Even from this distance, I could tell it wasn't prison stationery so, if it didn't come from Emmett, who the hell else would be writing to me?

I picked it up and mentally weighed up the options, few as they were. A nondescript small manila envelope, the type you could buy from any post office or stationery store, it bore no postmark which meant it had to have been hand delivered. That ruled out my parole officer in Port Angeles or any form of correspondence from my bank. Also, my name had been typed rather than handwritten adding up to a lot more trouble than if this was just a welcome home letter from an old friend.

My instincts already had me convinced it wasn't from any friendly source and, unwilling to open it in front of my mother if my suspicions were correct, I tucked it into my back pocket and jogged up the stairs.

"Eddie, how was the new job?" Rose asked just as I made it to the top.

Her room was across from mine and, as she'd left the door slightly ajar, I could see her sitting on the edge of her bed through the gap.

"It was good," I answered, pushing lightly against the door until it swung fully open. "Is it okay if I come in?"

I don't know why I asked. It wasn't as if I was some vampire who needed to be invited over the threshold but I felt compelled to respect her space.

"Sure," she said flatly, hitching a little further along the mattress to make room for me to sit beside her. Closing the door behind me, I walked over and settled down on the space she'd just vacated.

"Emmett misses your letters," I said, keeping my eyes trained on my hands clasped in my lap. Looking at her while I spoke seemed too intense somehow and I wanted her to open up, not fall into a blue funk.

From the corner of my eye, I watched the sadness spread over her face.

"He's a great guy, Rose," I continued. "He wouldn't hold it against you if you decided to write him again sometime."

She sniffed deeply, her nose starting to run as she teetered on the brink of tears.

"I know," she murmured quietly. "But I'm not good enough for him. I'm broken, Eddie. He told me he wants a girlfriend and a family of his own..."

Her voice trailed off and her lack of self-esteem hurt my heart.

"Why shouldn't that be with you? You deserve a shot at happiness as much as anyone else, maybe more than some," I insisted.

"It can't be me!" she exclaimed. "He needs a bright, happy girl who won't flinch if he puts his hand on her knee, someone who'll be able to give him lots of chubby babies with dark hair and dimples but that's not me. I'm not that girl and I never will be. It would be cruel to let him believe anything different and completely unfair of me to let him think I have anything to offer."

The raw pain on her face made it hard for me to look at her. As silent tears slid over her cheeks, a wave of mixed emotions surged through me. Frustration because I knew how much they liked each other and that they'd be a perfect match, anger at Royce King who'd built the invisible wall standing between them, blocking their path to a happy future, and pity for this beautiful woman who steadfastly refused to believe she was deserving of a normal life.

"Fucking Royce King," I snarled under my breath and she gasped softly, still horrified at the mere mention of his name. It was now or never…the elephant in the room needed to be addressed. Running my fingers through my hair to calm myself, I made my confession.

"Rose, I've read your journals."

Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped open only to be quickly covered by her trembling hand.

"Before you say anything, let me get this out. I know I shouldn't have read them but I am your little brother and…well, I guess it's my job to know what's going on with you."

As an attempt to lighten the mood, it went down like a lead balloon. She sat as motionless as a statue, her blue eyes staring right through me, making me feel even more awkward. Clearing my throat, I tried again.

"It's been seven years and you haven't gotten over it yet."

Fuck! That sounded like I was saying her ordeal had been trivial, something she should have brushed off long ago, so I quickly backpedaled.

"What I meant is, what happened is still ruining your life…every day, even after all this time. I know you thought you could handle it all by yourself but it's not working, is it?"

Her body drooped and she shook her head slightly.

"I think you should speak to a counselor, Rose. You need someone who can help you through this."

"I don't know if I can," she said, her voice quavering. "It's all such a big mess in my head."

"I'll find someone out of town you can talk to. Hey, I'll even come with you if it'll make you feel better and..."

"You'd come with me?" she gasped, sounding almost astonished I'd even offer, and a lump formed in my throat. Was I so disengaged she thought I wouldn't want to help? I swallowed it down so I could speak.

"Of course I would. You're my sister. I'd do anything to see you happy again," I swore.

Her chin quivered and she squeezed my hand. I would've liked to hold her and give the kind of comfort she'd given to me as a teenager whenever I'd been sad but it might have been too much. Instead, I raised her hand to my lips and kissed it.

"I'll make some calls," I promised. "We'll find someone who'll know how to fix this."

"Thank you," she mouthed, too overcome to speak. After a gentle squeeze, I let go of her hand and retreated to the sanctity of my own room.

I scrubbed my hands over my face maybe a little harder than necessary but I needed to shake off the excess emotional charge that seemed to linger after our discussion.

Digging around in my closet, I pulled out a fresh t-shirt and jeans and started to strip down to my boxers. As my sweatpants fell to the floor, I caught sight of the envelope.

"Shit," I muttered.

I'd forgotten all about it during my talk with Rose but now an uneasy feeling slithered up the back of my neck. Whoever had sent this letter had gone to great lengths to keep any identifying markers from the contents which could only mean one thing.

This was not going to be good news.

Hmm, the plot thickens.

Claire x