Chapter 36- You're Back
At the Dumpling Shop…
Yamato was being prodded by Jiraiya about how "old fashioned" his views were. Yamato should've been smart enough to make up an excuse to leave like Kotetsu did.
"How can you say we don't judge women by their boob size?!" Jiraiya exclaimed.
Yamato shrugged. "Because we don't, really. You do because you're superficial and you can't see the important things in a relationship."
"Yamato-san!"
He noticed Shizune running to him. Good, it was a good excuse to get himself from this crazy conversation with Jiraiya.
"Hey, Shizune-chan."
As usual, she hugged him and damn near tacked him. "How are you?"
"I'm fine….and you?"
Jiraiya cleared his throat. "Look, since you two are getting all lovey-dovey, I think I'll just go back to the titty bar."
"Gross, Jiraiya…there's all types of whores with diseases over there." Shizune scolded him. "And knowing you, you probably already have one by now."
"Hmph, no I don't, I'm a virgin." He pouted as he crossed his arms.
Both Shizune and Yamato sweatdropped.
Jiraiya + Virgin Lie. That's pretty much common knowledge.
"Ah, c'mon! Don't act like you've never had sex with some pretty girl before, Yamato." Jiraiya said, accusingly.
"I haven't."
"Oh? Not even with some hot broad you're supposed to be protecting on a mission?"
"Nope."
"How can you and Kakashi remain abstinent?!"
"Unlike you, ero-sannin, we think with our heads, not our libido."
"There's nothing wrong with sex! It's human nature!"
"Sure, there's nothing wrong with sex, but mindless sex is a different story."
"Mindless sex."
"Going to strip bars and having sex with people you hardly even know."
Jiraiya fumed. "Well…I'd rather have mindless sex than be a grown virgin."
"And I'd rather be a virgin than sleeping with various women I don't know."
Realizing his verbal and moral defeat, Jiraiya backed down. "Damn you, Yamato and your 'sexually correct' ways."
Back to Ichiraku's Ramen Bar…
They had finished paying for their meals and they were now walking down the street, with Kurenai clinging to Kakashi's arm.
"Thank you, Kakashi-kun, for cheering me up." She told him.
"No problem, what's a boyfriend for?" It suddenly crossed his mind that this might actually be a good time to propose.
As soon as he was starting to wiggle his arm loose from Kurenai's grip, he was knocked over by Jiraiya, who was running (possibly faster than Sonic the Hedgehog) from Shizune.
He was so terrified that he didn't even look back.
Ah, there goes the romantic mood Kakashi thought as he got up from the ground. He turned around to se who the woman Jiraiya was running from. Shizune was panting and waving her fist in the air. Yep, the romantic mood is officially gone…
"Are you okay, Kakashi?" Kurenai asked him.
"I'm okay. I think Jiraiya stepped on my butt…"
"I'll massage it for you later…"
Kakashi nodded in agreement and watched Shizune continue to run after a long gone Jiraiya. She rounded the corner and was out of view.
Just then, Yamato, who was also out of breath, tapped Kakashi on the shoulder. "Have you seen Shizune-chan?" he asked.
"Yah, she went that way." Kakashi said as he pointed to the corner. "What did Jiraiya say to get her all wound up?"
"He made a stupid comment about her breasts."
"Figures." Kurenai muttered. Being outwardly perverted was always the cause of Jiraiya's trouble.
"I'd better catch her before she decides she wants to kill him." Yamato said before running off.
Kakashi looked at Kurenai and she looked at him.
5 Minutes Later…
Kakashi walked Kurenai to her home, and was just about to propose to her when Hinata showed up.
"Um…Kurenai-sensei, I'd like to speak with you…if it's okay with Kakashi-sensei." She said shyly.
Kakashi gave her a reassuring smile. "Sure, go on ahead. I'll just go home and barricade my door shut so Gai can't unexpectedly show up."
"Be careful, Kakashi, and don't give Gai such a hard time, okay?" Kurenai gave him a hug.
"What?! Give him a hard time? What about me? He's the one always stalking me." Kakashi whined. "I don't do anything to him, Kurenai-chan."
Kurenai sighed. "You're like a big child, Kaka-kun." She finally let go of him, gave him a wink and went inside her home with Hinata.
Kakashi couldn't even get a mile from Kurenai's house before he ran into Iruka.
"Hey, Kakashi-san, do you mind filling in for me tomorrow?" He asked.
"Fill in for you? You mean you want me to substitute for you at the Academy?"
Iruka nodded. "Yep…unless you and Kurenai-chan have something planned."
Kakashi scratched his head. Other than find the right time to propose to her without getting interrupted, he wasn't really busy. "Sure, I'll fill in for you, Iruka. Please tell me you have lesson plans this time."
Iruka chuckled. "Last time you subbed, I forgot to leave the lesson plans, and you did great."
Kakashi sighed. "Yeah, and everyone was getting me incredibly off topic."
Iruka laughed. "Don't sweat it, Kakashi; the kids thought you were awesome."
"Probably because I let them get away with stuff."
Iruka patted Kakashi on the back. "I really owe you for filling in for me on such short notice. Anyway, when are you and Kurenai-chan getting married?"
"I…uh…well…"
"Don't know yet, huh? Well, be sure to let me know. I guess I'll be seeing you around." Iruka grinned, and walked off.
The last thing Kakashi was expecting was to baby-sit brats at the Academy, but it wouldn't kill him just this once.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to the bookstore.
He was contemplating on whether to pick up his porno habit again or to drop it for good. Jiraiya's sick novels had been pulled off the shelves (literally by Yamato) a while back.
When he entered the bookstore, the old man behind the desk immediately recognized him.
"I thought you knew that Jiraiya's novels were banned from Konoha's bookstores." He told him.
Kakashi grinned. "I know, and I'm not here for that."
The old man gave him an 'I-can't-believe-it' look. "You've got to be kidding me! You're not going to buy any…porn?"
"Nope. I've got a girlfriend now, so there's no need for porn anymore." Kakashi explained. "I was kind of wondering if you had any books about how to propose and how to be happily married."
The old man scratched his head. "You…certainly are an odd man, Mr. Kakashi…and yes, we do have some." He maneuvered over to the non-fiction part of the store and pointed to an entire row of proposal and marriage tip books.
"There you go, sir."
Kakashi scanned the rows of books and found a particularly interesting title. "How to Propose and be Married to a Smoking Hot Kunoichi". He opened the book and skimmed through some pages. The author went as far as to draw highly detailed pictures. He glanced at he author's name. Masashi Kishimoto…hmm, the guy sounds familiar…
"Seems informative enough. I think I'll take it." Kakashi said, pulling out some yen to pay for the book. He handed it to the old man. "Keep the change." He said as he walked out.
As soon as he exited the store, he was bumped into by Sakura.
"Excuse me, sensei, I didn't mean to run into you…literally." She apologized. "What are you up to, buying more porn? Does Kurenai-chan know?"
Kakashi chuckled. "Already accusing me of things, eh, Sakura?" I'm not reading porn, it's a self-help guide."
"For what, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Proposing."
"Aww," Sakura hugged him. "That's so sweet, Kakashi-sensei! I can't wait till you and Kurenai-chan get married!!"
"Uh…thanks, but what about Hinata and Naruto's wedding? Or have you forgotten about that?"
"I haven't forgotten. Hinata and I were just talking about it 10 minutes ago. She says Naruto's incredibly anxious and he can't wait. She also said that Naruto wanted to get married the same time you did, which is sweet."
Kakashi nodded. "Yep. Only problem about that is I'm not exactly rushing to get married, here." He started walking to his home, and Sakura followed.
"Kurenai-chan and Hinata are about to be happily married to the man of their dreams and I'm still single." She moaned.
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Sakura. You're young, smart; beautiful…you have tour whole life ahead of you. Just keep training and live your life."
"Thank you, sensei, but do you think I'll ever get married?" She asked.
"With a forehead that big, I highly doubt it."
They both turned around quickly to see Sasuke with his hands in his pockets and a smug look on his face. Instead of his tasteless Orochimaru garments, he had reverted back to his black suit.
Despite his obvious joke, the look on his face was unsurprisingly serious.
"S-S-Sa…" Sakura stammered.
"Sasuke, you mean." He "corrected" her. "It's hard to believe you forgot my name."
Sakura stood there in bewilderment. "You're back."
"Yeah. I told you and the dobe I was coming back after I killed Itachi." He said.
"And did you?" Kakashi asked.
"Of course."
Sakura embraced Sasuke with a hard hug, and he winced. He didn't want to admit to her that it felt good, so he tried to pry himself from her grip. "Get off of me."
Sakura let go of him, and struck him right in the jaw. The impact of the blow made him fall on his ass. "That was for betraying Konoha and leaving us…for leaving me." She emphasized.
He rubbed his jaw, amazed at her newfound strength. "Yeah, yeah, I got what I wanted, Itachi and Orochimaru dead, but I'm back now, aren't I?"
With her amazing strength, Sakura secretly had a quick thought about raping Sasuke, but it quickly came to pass when he got up from the ground.
"How about a quick sparring session? I'm curious as to how much you've actually grown." He told her.
Sakura's eyes widened. "Gladly, if you agree to go on a date with me." She grinned.
He cleared his throat. "Oh, well, never mind…" Sasuke quickly said, scratching the back of his neck.
"It's nice to know you're not so cold-hearted anymore." Sakura told him.
"Yeah, I actually had the chance to do some soul searching after killing the two ass-clowns. That's what took so long."
Kakashi had already read one chapter of his newly purchased book, before he decided to say anything. "How about coming over to my place and we can catch you up on all the latest Konoha gossip?" He offered.
Sasuke nodded. "Alright, sounds good to me."