Firstly, thank you for all of the reviews! They are very much appreciated, I do try to get back to you guys, if I don't, don't take it personal, JAG Fanfiction is not the only thing I do. I have a life. . or so. . .you know? VERY sorry about the delay folks, the term BUSY doesn't even beging to describe my last couple of weeks. Folks were out of town and everything I wanted to do went to hell when the bossman also went out of town. Add to that one complicated week of schoolwork learning stuff that makes no relevance in our field of study and doing business plans, advertisement and stuffs for a fake business Tired Jackie.
For those reading Return To Me - That will update either oer the weekend or on Monday. Changed a few things, beta is going over it and once she's done, it will come up. Thanks for your patient and if you're not patient, neither am I, imagine how I feel not being about to do more than actual work and school stuff for two weeks!
Jackie
Sidenote: For those jumping all over me about Harm and Mac and that Mac is so mean for hurting poor defensless Harm, I don't want to hear it. Neither of them need anyone to defend them. They are both emotional idiots and if you so badly are a shipper and want them together stop bad mouthing one or the other, doesn't help your case, really. Also, if you don't like the story, don't review, all it does is make me want to piss you off more. Yes, I am this childish. Isn't life grand!
PART 34 - What Did He Eat?
Walking into the jail, I spot Harm sitting in the corner with a rather unruly group eyeing him. He glances up, making eye contact and giving me the most pathetic expression I've ever seen on a man. The type that screams 'Please don't kill me!' All of this is something like a slap in the face. The boys that are locked away with him get kinda rowdy when they see me walking in. The catcalls, whistles and growls are toned down when Officer Taye, which has walked in before me, threatens to bash their skulls in. His words literally. What a charmer.
"Rabb, front and center." Taye says, pointing at Harm who looks so completely out of place. He's wearing his Naval blues, looking every bit the officer and the gentleman amongst filthy, unshaven, toothless goons. For a moment I wonder if this is a joke and if it is I am not finding it funny.
'I'm sorry.' He mouths at me and for the life of me I can't come up with a single explanation as to why he is locked up. I know this has to be some kind of a mistake. I mean, Harm, in jail?
Alright, so it's NOT a novel idea, he's been locked up a few times before but. . .
In the middle of my thought process I neglect to move into the area where the holding cell is. As a result I feel a hand pat my backside. Spinning around I give my Marine death glare to the playboy reading (I'd caught him checking out Ms. November on the way in), pimple popping, teenaged looking cop behind me. "Officer Dimples (Yes, his last name was Dimples! And no, I can't say his name with a straight face.), if your hand just so grazes my six again, I am going to kick the DNA out of you." I know, you aren't supposed to speak to the police like that, but the little jerk had his hand on my ass! What the hell!
That gets a round of cheers and more catcalls which Officer Taye tries to calm down.
"Uh, sorry ma'am." Dimples relents. "Right this way." He stops in front of the cell and starts to go through the keys. "Alright, let's see what we've got here." The first key he tries doesn't work. "Hmmm, we'll just try another one."
Officer Taye, a man of few words, took a step towards the younger man. "Dimples, what the hell are you doing?"
"Finding the keys Larry."
This seems to upset Taye. "It's not LARRY. It's OFFICER TAYE, get that right, Gaylord!"
Gaylord Dimples? Raising a brow, I try to figure out what sick and twisted dimension I have entered. Furthermore, what loving parent would name a kid Gaylord! "Officers, hurry, please." I glance over at Harm giving him a sympathetic look but he still seems scared out of his wits and it's starting to worry me. Oh boy, what did he do now?
Officer Dimples, aka: Barney Fife, turns to me with a slightly scared expression. "Uh, I have the wrong key chain, I'll. . .uh, be back."
"Oh for Pete's sake, I'll go get them!" Aggravated, Taye passes by, hurrying out of the holding cell as I wait with Dimples.
Oh God, why me! What have I done! All I wanted to do was get home, shower, eat and crash into bed. Is that too much to ask after having the trip from hell? I swear, I am starting to feel claustrophobic and I so do NOT have that phobia! "Are you in the military?" Dimples asks with an aloof expression. Gee, you'd figure the uniform would give it away?
"No, I'm going to a costume party." I can't help the bitterness in my voice, but really, just give me my flyboy already!
Dimples grins. "Well, it looks pretty real."
"That's because it is! I'm a Marine Lieutenant Colonel. . .Now will you guys hurry." Jackass! I take it back, this kid makes Barney Fife look like a founding member of Mensa. "Hurry." I squeak out, less than pleased at this situation. A sudden headache starts to come from out of nowhere begging for me to massage my temples. With a frown, I glance up at Harm who is now holding onto the bars and being surprisingly quiet. "Hey sailor. You can tell me what happened in the car." I sigh softly, then lean back against the wall and close my eyes. I feel Dimples'eyes and those of all the other men except Harm's washing over me.
"You're not mad at me?" Harm says in this cute, scared little boy voice that makes me want to kiss the daylights out of him.
I pop an eye open. Has he lost his mind! "No, should I be?"
"I thought you'd want to kill me." He says almost as if it were a passing thought. For a brief moment, I get a hint of that flyboy grin, which goes away as Taye returns.
We gather his belongings, sign several documents and step outside. Harm places his cover on and I swear the whole uniform just gives him this air of importance, it's amusing. He takes two steps away from me then stops. "So, you're not going to kill me?"
"What fun would that be?" I grin but, he doesn't seem amused. No, the flyboy looks SCARED. "What?"
He crosses his arms across his chest and steps back once, glancing down at the ground. "You're not even slightly mad?"
"Well, I'm upset that I had to come down here. . .Well, more worried than upset. . .First thing that came to mind was Palmer." I frown. Honestly, it is what came to mind, Harm trapped in jail and that sleezeball Palmer having something to do with it. Or it being a trick and Palmer trying to set both Harm and I up. Yes, I know, inviting trouble, melodramatic. I agree, yes.
"I'm sorry, Mac."
"You don't have to be sorry, flyboy, just tell me what the hell happened."
I lean against the Corvette and for a good twenty minutes and twenty six seconds, Harm rambles. As far as I can decipher, it's something about an adventure with him and Assassin. The story ends with him explaining how he had to take Assassin to the vet because he ate something and as a result of him sticking his foot in his mouth (Harm's words not mine!) the doctor thought she was abusing our puppy.
Woah, did he say Assassin ATE something! "Woah, woah. . .simmer down. What did he eat?" I can practically see the wheels turning in his head. He gives me this completely helpless looking expression. For crying out loud it can't be THAT bad can it? "Harm?" You know, maybe I don't want to know.
"Your ring." He croaks out making it sound as if it's the most devastating thing to happen in this world.
I couldn't help the warm feeling I have inside. A feeling that tells me it wasn't just a ring, it was something in the form of a commitment. "My ring?" I know I am smirking now, but I can't help it. . . Being Mrs. Harmon Rabb Junior would just be icing on the cake.
"Yea your ummm Marine Corps ring. . .I was sitting at the park. . .checking it and. . .anyway, he ate it."
Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. Using all the strength possible, I manage not to look too depressed that it's just my Corps ring. "It's alright. . .things happen." I sigh dramatically and wave him towards the car. "C'mon, Harm, it's getting late and we have to go pick Assassin up."
He takes two steps towards the car and comes to a complete stop. "We? Oh no, no, no. . .I'm not going back there, that woman hates me."
I give him an unlady like snort as I push the transmitter's button to unlock the car. "Oh, don't worry about her. That bitch's got it coming if she messed with my guy and my puppy." It's true, I mean, how could anyone think Harm would hurt a defenseless animal!
Harm raises a brow and leans against the top of the car. "That bitch? Mac you don't even know her."
"Semantics, my dear, semantics. . .Now get your six in the car, Commander."
We travel for exactly six minutes and during the hole time I find my boyfriend being rather. . .jittery. "You alright?"
"Yea, I'm fine." He lies. I mean, seriously, he's lying. His mouth is doing an upturn thing.
I ignore the lie for a moment, then sigh. Things with Assassin haven't exactly been a picnic. While I love the puppy, it's obvious that he and Harm aren't buddies. "Assassin and you don't get along." I toss out into the waters, wondering if he agrees or if he will be pig headed about it.
"It's not that I haven't tried, Mac."
"I know you have, I wasn't questioning that. . .Maybe. . .I don't know? Maybe we should give him up?. . .I mean, I love the little guy but, I don't want us to be uncomfortable because of his obvious dislike of all things Rabb." Assassin even chewed up Harm's hundred dollar tennis shoes and this cute stuffed bear that Harm bought one day.
Harm chuckles then sobers slightly. He seems to be considering my proposition to give up Assassin. "No, Mac. . .I don't want to get rid of Assassin. . .We bonded pretty well over the weekend. . .This was just a little mishap. . ." Mishap? Oh yea, sure. "I mean, there are other methods. . .I saw that pet psychic thing on TV."
"Pet psychic?" Did he just say Pet Psychic! Alright, who are you and what have you done with my Rabb? "You said that didn't you? I wasn't floating into an alternate universe?"
He chuckled again, this time it's warm and rich and inviting. "Yup, sure did. . .I caught some things on that pet network channel thing."
"Animal Planet." I clarify. No matter how much TV I subject the man to, he never gets the name of any show or actress or actor. "And you're serious?"
"Of course I am. . .Would be cool to know what the little guy thinks about you and me."
We don't need a psychic for that. Assassin loves me and despises Harm. Actually, I don't think he despises Harm, I think he's jealous. He even howls his lungs off when Harm and I make love. It was funny at first, but around the third time, we had to turn the radio up.
Before long we are at the Vet's office and I am charging inside. I locate Dr. Graves standing behind the counter, writing on some sort of chart. "Dr. Graves, I am Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie here to pick up Assassin." I can't help it if I have a rank that sounds so cool and strong and powerful. Nor can I help it that I use it whenever I need to sound cool and strong and powerful.
Dr. Graves looks up from her charting and gives me, what I can only define as a look of disgust which grows once she sees Harm. "What's he doing here?"
"Commander Rabb." I stress his rank for clarification. "Is my boyfriend. . .I understand you and he had a little misunderstanding."
"It wasn't a misunderstanding, the puppy is clearly afraid of Mr. Rabb."
"Commander Rabb." I stress yet again. "And yes, Assassin seems to get jealous around the Commander."
Graves raises a brow then turns to Harm with a sick expression. "Did he tell you what occurred?"
"He did." Well, he did!
"In detail?"
"Yes. . .I know about the ring Assassin ate and it's fine. . .I am sure he'll just expel it."
Graves nods. "He already has. I cleaned it up and put it in a box for you. . .Beautiful ring."
"I know." I take a glance over at Harm and find him to be PALE. And I mean PALE. He looks like he's about to pass out. "You alright?"
Harm clears his throat. "Umm. . .Yes, fine."
Graves rolls her eyes at us and I am slightly tempted to use some Marine death tactic. "Look, I spoke to your. . .boss or whatever you call him. . .He seems to think you two are a nice pair, wouldn't hurt animals. . .So he won't press any charges and since you're under his jurisdiction there isn't much I can do about it." I had made a point of calling Cresswell on behalf of Harm so that he could run interference, yes, I realize I will now owe the man until the day I die.
It takes her about five minutes to get Assassin out of the cage he was put in. Assassin doesn't do cages very well, I bought one at first so that I could, maybe, take him into work. Uh, no. . .He gnaws at it, barks at it, rips everything inside the cage to shreds and as I stand behind the counter watching her struggle, I can't help but chuckle. The little guy raises his leg and does his business all over Graves' shoes. Gotta love him. For good measure, Assassin then decides to start snarling and barking. It's cute really, I mean, he's pretty small so all of that menacing attitude combined with a small, puppy body and a small puppy timbre is just hysterical. "Well, he's barking at you now, doctor. . .Am I to assume you hurt him as well?" I can't help the sardonic smile that spreads on my lips. I mean, that was just too easy.
Harm is also laughing, using his cover to block his face as he does so. I see Graves' assistant stepping out with a box that is inside a plastic baggy, indicating to me that it's my ring. Harm quickly takes the package and shoves it into his breast pocket. "Considering where it came from, I'm just going to make sure it's clean, Mac. . .Don't want you to go through more trouble than you have." He gives me this overly sweet Rabb look that melts me. I mean, how cute is that!
"HELP!" Turning to the side, we find Graves standing in the corner with Assassin now biting the pant leg.
"Get this abomination away from me!"
"Hey!" Harm yells, jumping over the counter and landing on the other side like a cat. Can I tell you how cool that looked? "He's not an abomination, Doctor. He's part of the family! C'mere boy." He gets down on one knee, reaching his hand out towards Assassin. I cringe slightly, about to tell him that it isn't a good idea when Assassin stops harassing the good doctor and runs over to him, jumping into his arms. "Good boy."
Alright, I am shocked. . .Completely shocked. Assassin is now bathing Harm in little puppy kisses. I chuckle at the scene, who knew it took some adventure to get my two boys to bond? "Let's get out of here. Thank you for your assistance doctor." I say with a grin and walk away with our little family.