CHAPTER 34
Guilt

"Dad?"

"Say that again, it's music to my ears."

Tyler smirked at Fowler as he seated himself beside the man on the catwalk in the Autobot base. Tyler could imagine the euphoria was much the same as when Fowler had first called him his "son". "You're crazy, you know that?" Tyler grinned, then shook his head "What are you doing up here?" He asked "You're not usually alone like this." He then added "You've usually yelled at the 'Bots at least ten times by now." He joked.

Fowler laughed a little, patting the boy on the back. "I'm fine, son." Fowler finally spoke "I just have a lot on my mind lately." He paused a moment "Y'know... It isn't easy having my job." He then added "Especially when you're juggling working to get custody-."

"I..."

"Don't even start." Fowler held up a hand "It has nothing to do with not wanting you. It's just issues I have to get around. Y'know because I lost custody of my last kid." He shook his head a bit "It's easier given you know what I'm doing. So we spend more time together." He then added "Thankfully, my ex-wife doesn't actually have a say in any of this."

Tyler chuckled, nodding his head in understanding. "Yeah, I guess that would be a pain in the butt. You know, since you can't really talk about... This." He motioned his hand around for emphasis "Too bad, it'd be pretty cool to talk about." He rested his head against the palm of his hand "So, will I ever even meet this "sister" of mine?"

"After you're adopted." Fowler nodded "Lest my ex-wife... Y'know..." He paused a moment "Honestly, she's not a nice person and I don't want her messing with this. You deserve this." He patted Tyler on the shoulder at that "Now, stop worrying about your old man. I think you should go hang out with Breakdown and have some fun." He explained.

Tyler looked at Fowler, but nodded, hugging the man slightly. "I bet you'll be fine, dad." Tyler explained "They'd have to be crazy not to let you adopt me." He attempted as best he could, trying to reassure himself as well "Love you."

As Tyler climbed down the catwalk, he sighed. He didn't like that Fowler was so nervous, but also knew that the man would not want him to worry. Something that made him quickly realize that dwelling on the subject would do him no good. "He's just having a hard time with the stress, kid." Breakdown stated as the boy approached "You worry too much for a kid your age, you know that?"

Tyler shrugged his shoulders innocently. "I worry that dad and his stress issues sometimes. What can I say?" Tyler took a deep breath "And you should talk, you worry about me way too much." Tyler told him with a small chuckle "So, looks like we have a little while before dad gets off work. You want to go do something stupid?"

"Stupid?" Breakdown asked skeptically.

"You never did show me how fast you could go last week." Breakdown's optics widened "Come on, you told me we'd go drifting out in the desert." Breakdown looked uneasy at the thought "Come on, Breakdown. It'll be a good way to calm both of our nerves."

"It'll be a good way to get me offlined if you get hurt." Breakdown replied.

Tyler scoffed, laughing at the mech. "Come on, we'll be back before dad even realizes we're gone." He pleaded.

Breakdown grimaced slightly, wishing quietly that the boy didn't know his love of adrenaline. He chalked that up to influence from Knock Out as much as it was, but he didn't need his new partner getting that mindset either. "You sir, are a pain in the aft." Breakdown stated, plucking him up and putting him on his shoulder "Asking me to break rules, lie to your father, among other things..."

Tyler hung his head. "Sorry."

"Kid, I'm joking." Breakdown recovered, knowing that it had been the wrong choice of words "We can go, as long as we make sure we're careful about it." He explained quietly, leaning his head in towards him "You're forgetting that I'm not the parent here. I'm the fun uncle practically." Tyler laughed a little at that "Alright, come on Ty, let's blow this popsicle cart, or whatever you humans say."

"Coulda been though."

Breakdown frowned, not liking to be reminded. Of course he could have been, and on some days he wished he was. But he also knew that Tyler belonged with Fowler, and that more obvious than anything else he had ever seen. "Yeah, well... Someday when I have sparklings. I hope they're as good as you." Tyler laughed "Fowler can't have all the fun now can he?"

Tyler grinned, it was a great thought, Breakdown with kids. And even if the war lasted so long that he never got to meet them, he genuinely hoped that Breakdown got that someday. "Knowing your kids they'll be as rowdy as you." Tyler chuckled "They'll probably have more free reign too." He explained "Plus awesome, yeah, they'll definitely be awesome." He added.

Breakdown grinned, looking at the boy. "Maybe I'll even adopt. Seemed to work out for Fowler so well with you." He chuckled "Gotta be other kids in need of homes. Probably still will be once all this war crap is over." He then added "Now, let's get this show on the road. Now you've got my wheels itching for a good spin around the desert."

"How fast are we gonna go?" Tyler asked.

As Breakdown transformed down, he chuckled yet again. "Oh, kid. Faster than anything you've ever ridden in before. Believe you me."

Tyler only grinned at that himself. He was going to enjoy the nice little escape that this would serve him.

...

"You look a little lost there."

Tyler stared over at the man in the red sports car thoughtfully as the window rolled down. Almost immediately, he felt a certain intensity within himself. He knew better than to talk to strangers, even without a proper upbringing that was obvious. Yet he also felt a strange desire to reply to the statement as he stood in front of his school. "My... Friend is just running a little late." Tyler told him, crossing his arms "Never seen you around here before, who are you here to pick up?"

There was a slight pause. "No one."

Tyler looked him over a bit, took in the form of the car, and his statement. At once, Tyler came to a realization. "You're Knock Out." Tyler backed up slightly "Stay away from me... Even if Breakdown is your friend... He won't be so friendly if you touch me." He explained "Especially where everyone can see."

"I'm not here to kidnap you, kid."

Tyler stared blankly at Knock Out, confusion in his eyes. Why else would a Decepticon come around to his school? Let alone Knock Out, the very person Breakdown ditched in order to protect him. "You're not?" Tyler asked, staring at the car silently "What game are you playing? Because seriously, not buying it. I dealt with messed up people before. And you should know-."

"First of all: ouch." Knock Out grunted "Not "messed up" thank you." He added coldly "And secondly, I wanted to meet the insect that my so-called "partner" left me for." He then added "Before Lord Megatron snuffs you out."

Tyler stood his ground, not allowing himself to show any fear. It was something that he was becoming increasingly good at, hiding fears. And to say the least he was thankful for that given all that was happening. "Megatron won't do anything like that." Tyler managed "You know that, I know that. Breakdown will kick his aft." He heard laughter from Knock Out "What's so funny?"

"You're putting a lot of faith in someone who would have crushed you a few months ago." Knock Out replied "Excuse me if I find it amusing."

Tyler shook his head, and stared down the sidewalk. No longer interested in the conversation whatsoever. He could hear as the Aston Martin followed him quietly from behind. Tyler was nervous, his hands clenched into fists, and fear coursed through his veins. "Did you see what he did to Starscream?" He took the silence as a "no" "He practically killed him for hurting me. Protected me..." He paused a minute "Megatron has no idea what he's dealing with."

There was silence. "I have to admit. I wish I had been there to see that." Knock Out chuckled "Listen, kid. If you care about Breakdown... You'll tell him to come back." Tyler paused at that "Megatron can forgive turn coating. He'd probably see it as a lapse of judgement honestly." He explained "But if he sticks by you, you're going to get hurt."

"Why do you even care?" Tyler asked.

"I don't." Knock Out replied "I care about the fact that it'd hurt my best friend." He then added "Which is the same reason I'm not here to attack or capture you." He explained.

"You don't need to worry about me."

Tyler looked up as he saw Breakdown drive up and pull to a stop. His holoform stepped out almost in sync with Knock Out's. "Tyler, get inside me... NOW." Tyler opened his mouth to argue, but seeing the mech's look, did as he said "Does Megatron know the school he goes to?" Knock Out shook his head "Good. At least I can recharge easy knowing that."

"You've really become soft." Knock Out said in disbelief "You really give a slag what happens to that... That..."

"Human." Breakdown replied bluntly.

Knock Out was silent, he crossed his arms, and looked at Breakdown. "I came here to try and talk reason. You know that the next time I see him... Or you..." Knock Out explained "We'll be enemies." Breakdown frowned at the thought "If you leave with me now, we can appeal to Lord Megatron. I bet he wouldn't even touch the squishy."

"Human." Breakdown asserted "And I'm not going back. I've seen through Megatron thanks to the humans. He is a tyrant who only wants to create another Cybertron from here. He sees this planet as another to destroy. And the humans as..." He shook his head in anger "The point is, I will never take orders from him again, period."

Knock Out was silent, and stared at Tyler through Breakdown's windshield. "Even if you have to fight the entire Decepticon army just to protect one measly little brat?"

"His name is Tyler and I will protect him with my spark."

Breakdown almost wished he could ignore the hurt look on Knock Out's face. It was now that the mech realized that Breakdown was never coming back to the Decepticons. And he'd give this speech another hundred times if he had to, even to Megatron himself. "I see how it is." Knock Out snarled "Get a new pet that's better than the friend who spent stellar cycles standing by your side!" He then added "I hope you enjoy him now because even if you escape Megatron's wrath, he'll only be around for barely 80 more years."

"Knock Out, please... Listen to reason..."

"That's something you should have done." Knock Out replied, his voice breaking slightly "I'll keep my word. This time, I won't touch him..." He then added "But it took me exactly one hour to find this school. So how long do you think it will take Soundwave when Megatron gives the order?" Breakdown was silent "Next time, I won't have the say in the matter. Not anymore."

"Knock Out, I..."

But Knock Out wasn't interested in listening. Before either one of them could say anything more, the Aston Martin had torn out of his spot and taken off down the street. Tyler sat there, his eyes lowering to the floor of the vehicle. "Breakdown, I..."

"It's alright." Breakdown replied "I knew this was coming."

This time, it was Tyler who hated to hear the pain that filled his partner's voice.

...

"Are you okay?"

Breakdown shifted a bit as Tyler climbed onto his roof late that night. Breakdown had already reported the incident to Optimus, but the incident still burned through his processor more than ever. It was a day that he wished would never come, but ultimately had to face the reality was bound to happen. "... I can't be okay after doing that." He paused a moment "It hurts... Having to push him away like that. Even if those are my morals now."

"Maybe you should go." Tyler replied "Maybe he's-."

"Tyler James Beers." Breakdown scolded "I have been through pit and back with you so far. And the last thing I'm about to do is turn my back on you now." He admitted, quite bluntly at that "Even if that means that I have to leave things behind." He paused "It may hurt... But I could never try and destroy your race after my time here."

Tyler looked thoughtfully in the distance, but slowly nodded his head in understanding. Breakdown had made his choice, and sometimes, he knew that choices could hurt people. Laying against the hood of the mech, he rested his head against him. "Who knows, maybe Knock Out will see the light too." Tyler suggested "Maybe he'll be an Autobot someday."

The laugh might have sent him toppling off of the hood if Breakdown hadn't helped keep him in place. "I would very much doubt that, little man." Breakdown finally spoke "But I do hope that eventually he might get what I did." He explained "Maybe even forgive me for... Leaving him and all." He paused "But I'm not holding my vents."

"Bulkhead forgave you." Tyler pointed out.

Breakdown knew it was a good point, but still didn't feel there was a chance. But he would allow Tyler to see there as being a chance, as it was yet again a positive thought he could give. Tyler traced the starts with his eyes, and yawned quietly, snuggling against Breakdown a bit. "You know..." Tyler replied quietly "I don't think I'll ever have half the courage you do." He admitted "You're one tough 'Bot."

"Don't count yourself out." Breakdown replied "You're tough too. A real fighter." He then added "Frag, I might have leaked if I had faced down Knock Out in your shoes." Tyler chuckled, resting his head again, his eyes growing heavy "Kid, I think it's time you stopped worrying about me and got some sleep." He paused a minute "Really, I'll probably feel better after a little drive myself."

"I can-."

"No kid, this is one drive I'm gonna go alone." Breakdown replied "You'll be safe with Fowler inside. He's still wide awake, not gonna let anything happen to ye." He slowly transformed, and moved Tyler through the upstairs window and onto his bed "Goodnight, kiddo."

"Goodnight."

As Breakdown took off into the night, he allowed his processor to roam free. Perhaps Tyler was right, and at the end of the day, he would have felt guilt over nothing. But for now, even dwelling on the thought could not make it come true, no matter how long he did. When he arrived back at the Fowler house, he half-expected that Tyler would be up, still worrying, and he was right. Rumbling his engines, he called up to the lit bedroom window. "I'm back, kid." Breakdown replied "Go to sleep."

He heard rustling, as though Tyler wanted to move to the window and say more. But then the light clicked off, and Breakdown was satisfied that the boy was finally sound asleep. As he slipped quietly into recharge, Breakdown could only hope that it would be what he needed to clear his processor.

...

A/N: I know that a lot of you guys wanted Breakdown and Knock Out to meet up. Hopefully I handled it well. :)