Chapter 34: You Have Forever

"How long will you keep me?" I asked.

You shrugged. "Forever, of course." - Lucy Christopher in: Stolen: A Letter to My Captor

Bitter sweet. Tom's lips were still pressed against Joelle's mouth firmly - but the worst part of it was that she did not fight it. No. It was worse than not fighting it. Joelle enjoyed the kiss. Her arms, for once, wrapped around Tom's neck to bring him closer against her, to deepen the kiss that now turned a whole lot more heated after a first momentum of surprise on Tom's end - but he gladly took advantage of Joelle's change of mind. They have never kissed like this before.

"Where have you been?!" She asked in between the contact.

"I'm here now," he whispered back, kissing her yet again, causing her to swallow the words she was trying to convey when his lips skipped to the corner of her mouth and to her jawline until he reached her neck. Joelle's whole body was shaking with chills, but she closed her eyes. And came to her senses. She pulled away from the kiss.

"Where have you been."

"It doesn't matter, I said," spoke Tom back with the same firm tone that Joelle had used for her question. He suddenly pulled her against himself, staring into her eyes deeply. But Joelle looked away, around the dead bodies on the floor. Had she really kissed Tom, being surrounded by this tasteless scene?

"All of this skirmish wouldn't have happened if Avery had not gone home. He will pay for this. This is the last time he-"

"It was my fault," Joelle spluttered out before thinking. Tom looked up into her eyes, clearly expecting an explanation. Joelle had trouble thinking of an excuse - something, anything to prevent insufferable Avery being killed. But nothing came into her mind.

"How so?" Tom asked calmly. But his calmness always beheld a luring-kind of tone. When Joelle couldn't give him an answer within a time frame of appearing trustworthy, he sighed and tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. "You're lying to me, sweet Joelle. I don't want you to lie to me," he whispered.

"Don't kill him...he left because I attacked him. And that's not a lie," she said truthfully. She had verbally attacked Avery. Somewhat. Tom still raised an eyebrow when Joelle went on.

"I just don't like him. But that's no reason to kill him. I wanted him gone and you know how I can be-"

"Why do you protect him."

His voice. Tom's voice was ice cold and stern - as if he couldn't stand the perspective of Avery meaning something to her.

"I just told you that I don't like him. And...to be honest, he reminds me of John," Joelle sighed. Tom scowled slightly upon hearing that name, but he seemed to understand a bit more.

"He means absolutely nothing to me. But I don't want anyone else to be killed because of me...please."

"If that's what you wish, my dearest..." Tom whispered and gently rubbed her cheek. He was in a generous mood. Still yet, there was some silence between them next.

"You have lost weight..." Tom then stated when he looked down at her. Joelle's eyes were empty, but she nodded. It was true. She had lost a lot of weight ever since Tom found her again. Her appetite was just not the same it was years ago.

"You look unhealthy. Way too pale. Where has your light gone, Joelle?" Tom inquired. Joelle chuckled bitterly at that. She thought about making a smart comeback about his darkness turning off the light, but she did not bother.

"I suppose I'm just not the epitome of happiness at the moment, am I?" She asked rhetorically.

"You're still naive," said Tom then. This was a little surprising - the statement was so contextless. Still yet, Joelle nodded. "Being naive is my nature," she whispered.

"Something that I try to preserve," Tom whispered back.

"Preserve?" Joelle frowned. "Are you being sarcastic?"

"No," Tom shook his head. "I am not," he gently stroked along her bloody bottom lip, his eyes fixed on it. "Those savages hurt you. I will make them pay."

"They're dead," whispered Joelle, flinching a slight bit at the contact of Tom's skin on her wound. He did not respond, and Joelle had no idea what his silence could mean.

"Marvolo," said Joelle. "I am in a constant state of uncertainty. I'm hovering above the truth. I know you make me go through what I made you go through," and at this point Tom's eyes narrowed for the split of a second, "but I feel like I'm breaking apart without an answer, without a purpose. I fully realized that when I wasn't sure whether or not I would've pitied them killing m-"

Grasp.

"Don't you dare say that!" Tom hissed, grabbing Joelle's chin back firmly. His eyes appeared redder than before, his nostrils widened with rage, his mouth pressed together into a straight line. Joelle kept quiet for now. And Tom used this absence of words to go on.

"Your purpose was clear the moment you have stepped into room 26 back then. Hasn't Bryan told you to stay away from it? Funny. Considering above all people, it was he who made you curious..."

Joelle frowned when Tom said this. She had an instant flashback. How she strolled around with Bryan on their first evening she stayed at Wool's orphanage, how Bryan said exactly that. "Better stay away from room 26."

But she hadn't stayed away. She decided to open the door, to find out about the boy behind it.

"Some doors should remain closed, Joelle."

"You were just a child..." She whispered.

"But was I?" Tom asked. Joelle's eyes shot up to him. Was he? She glanced away.

"How do people like you, who studied psychology, encounter people like me? Do they tell you to stay away from us?" Tom chuckled. "Not so easy, is it?"

"I just wanted to help you back then," Joelle whispered again. "I hadn't anticipated that-"

"That what? That you cannot help me?" Tom asked, tucking some strands of hair behind her ear yet again. "You better believe it."

"All the time. We are talking about these things all the time. But we never say anything," Joelle looked away. Tom remained quiet for a while before he decided to comment. "You are right. The questions bore me. But you won't stop asking." He then got up. "It's probably about time I show you what will happen next."

"No. I don't want to see anything. I want us to speak freely now. Without the leashes of doubts and regret. I want us to be honest."

Tom's expressionless face did not change. He stared at Joelle with a straight mouth. This calmness, however, made Joelle nervous. It took her some time until she decided to go ahead.

"I want my life back," she whispered. "I want. A. Life."

But Tom did not twitch nor budge. His expression was waxy and smooth. He sighed. He was indeed annoyed.

"You are still the main defendant in the murder case of Wool's orphanage. Do you think I arranged all of that just to agree to letting little Miss Cole go when she tries to withdraw from her debts?"

"Then how! How do I pay it back! How can I pay it back when you leave for weeks every time you get confronted with something inconvenient!" Joelle hissed. "You don't tell me about withdrawing when it's you who runs away every time you feel rejected."

"Watch your words!" Tom narrowed his eyes, his hand wrapping around her wrist. He pulled her closer. "Watch. Your. Words."

And then there was silence again. The tension was another story, but the silence between them was he loudest they have had for a while.

"I want to pay it back. But you must tell me how," Joelle whispered. Tom closed his eyes, he looked away. And there it was again, silence swirling around them. It felt like an eternity, it lasted forever. Tom Marvolo Riddle had Joelle Cole back - and she would not stop asking. Was he under the belief that she gave in? Perhaps, yes, of course. She has given in. But those questions. Those ever so nagging questions. She didn't leave him alone. No matter how often he ran away - no matter how often he would return. She knew he would always come back; all the time. She knew he would come back sooner or later - just like he knew that he would come back sooner or later. And get what belonged to him.

"You know the answer," said Tom. "You know how to pay it back."

"I want you to say it. To erase the chances of misunderstanding," Joelle said. Tom looked into her eyes for a few seconds, inhaling deeply.

"Stay with me," he suddenly said. "You must stay with me."

Joelle did not ask for how long. She knew what he meant. Deep inside, she knew all the time that Tom never planned on letting her go. He planned on becoming her destiny. Her purpose. Forever.

"...One more thing. Where have you been?" Joelle asked. Her voice was softer now. It was a paradox. Even though she had no reason to warm up, she had even less of a reason to be cold now. Tom did not answer.

"If this is what you want. Then we must share our secrets. You know about mine. All of them. I know nothing about you..."

Tom chuckled suddenly. "You are so stubborn. Insufferable and stubborn. And you're wrong. You know more about me than anybody else."

Joelle smiled a slight bit, she turned her face away from him. "I know you're stubborn and insufferable, too."

Tom grinned. It was only now that Joelle realized what he was doing; she felt his soft touch on her thigh. He had a warm and large temperature to his hand, his long fingers squeezed lightly on her skin. But Joelle crossed her leg above the other, raising an eyebrow, causing Tom's lips to twist into a smirk.

"Playing hard to get?" He cooed. Joelle raised an eyebrow.

"I never play, Marvolo."

"Right," Tom huffed with amusement, shaking his head as he drew his hand away. He stared out of the window for a while. The sunrise was almost over - the sky was shining in its faint purple and light blue glory. Joelle watched how Tom's eyes, previously so full of what she interpreted as a form of joy, turned into something else, something dirty, something tainted. Slowly, he turned his face towards her. Joelle wanted to scream when she looked into his eyes that appeared to still be the same color but beheld a gleam of threat that she could not bear. He roughly pulled her closer against his body, staring into her very soul before he hugged her so tightly that Joelle could barely gasp. What has gotten into him so suddenly? Tom had these moments where he was there. Fully there, with her, in the situation. And then, like now, he was somewhere else. He was someone else.

"You wanted to know where I was..." Tom whispered almost inaudibly; his breath forced shivers through Joelle's spine. She clung onto him.

"I...don't need to know-"

"I took care of us..." Tom murmured repetitively, as if she was not even there, as if she had not said a single word. "I took care of us."

Joelle did not want to hear any more of this. She knew, deep inside, what he was talking about. Then again, she could not stop her own words before they left her lips.

"You killed somebody else," she said in a tone of fighting sadness.

Silence.

Tom let go of Joelle; his arms slowly fell down. He pulled away from her figure, but still stared into her eyes. For the split of a second, Joelle flinched at the expectation of getting slapped, she already brought her hands closer to her chest in order to stop a possible attack, but it did not come.

Not physically.

"Do you ever listen to me, Joelle?" He asked with a smile of disbelief as he shook his head and looked away, chuckling again. His eyes flickered over to her.

"DO YOU EVER LISTEN?!" He yelled and smacked the palm of his hand onto the wall where Joelle scurried against. Tom drew himself against her body, she could feel him, she could smell him - taste the madness she couldn't escape.

"I took care of us," he whispered against her lips. Joelle nodded, her heartbeat pondering so rapidly against her chest that she heard the pulsing in her head, growing dizzy from it. She was trembling.

"Do you trust me?" He then asked. Joelle could think of no worse timing for a question like this, so silly a question. His gaze was brought to her eyes, half lidded, lingering, waiting to attack. The rope of steaminess between them pulled tighter around Joelle's throat, drying out her voice.

"I know that you're thinking things through...from A to Z and back..." She whispered, causing Tom to frown widely with a sudden grin growing on his lips.

"You are most right, my dearest. That's why you should finally give in. No more silly questions. I have things planned - more than you can dream up. We shall start by leaving this manor tomorrow."

"Leaving? But where are we going?"

"Shh. No silly questions no more." Tom pulled Joelle against his chest when she tried to voice yet another thought, hugging her to himself. Joelle held onto his arms loosely. There was some silence yet again. Joelle's eyes flickered over to the dead bodies still on the floor, and as if Tom knew that she secretly pitied them, secretly felt sorry, secretly paid them attention, he withdrew from the hug and waved his wand. The bodies disappeared.

"Where did you bring them?" Joelle asked. Tom's cold eyes looked at her again, but he was calm when he sighed. What did he tell her about silly questions?

"They shall find their duties in their death; idiots though they might be. They'll guard something that is mine. And soon...a part of you as well."

"I don't understand what you mean," said Joelle, but Tom shook his head and grabbed her hand, starting to walk out of the room. It was still dark and late, as Joelle could see through the arched windows of Riddle manor. Tom entered the bedroom with her and started to take off his dark cloak. Joelle gave him some privacy by turning her face away from him, but started to lay down onto the bed.

"Muggles marry. Silly, don't you think?" Tom then asked as he laid down next to her. Joelle looked at him. Where did this question come from?

"Why? I think marrying is beautiful."

"Of course you'd think like that. You're the type of girl to fall for those things."

"What's so bad about wanting to possibly spend the rest of your life with somebody you love?" Joelle asked with a slight frown.

"The perspective of divorce makes a wedding most pointless."

Joelle looked into Tom's eyes. And he looked back.

"A wedding is not eternal, Joelle," he whispered, twisting some strands of hair around his index finger. "Not even without a divorce."

"Then again, forever is such an ugly word," she whispered back. Tom narrowed his eyes. "I couldn't think of one more beautiful."

"That's the difference between you and me," said Joelle while Tom kept twisting her hair. He nodded, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You will learn to cherish my way. After all, you have forever."