A/N: Sorry for those who have read prior to this, I forgot to put up my warning.
This chapter contains to allusions to things that some people might find extremely uncomfortable, most specifically the rape of a minor and cannibalism. I do not go into details, just wanted to give you a heads up.
"It's the nanites, the implants…"
Miranda sounded as matter-of-fact as she always did, but Shepard knew the woman well enough by now to hear the subtle variances below her confident tone. She was concerned, feeling guilt over this. As she was the one that had used the nanite and cybernetic technology to help bring Shepard back, this new dilemma was…therefore…her fault. At least, in her mind.
Shepard was standing in the open door of the infirmary, one arm uplifted, braced against the doorframe as she leaned on it. From where Miranda and Chakwas stood behind her, neither could see the woman's expression…which didn't help matters.
In her silence, Miranda continued. "I think this Harbinger might be the Collector's AI, perhaps…or maybe a Queen of the hive mind. The soldiers must have similar tech implants and it uses that to take control of them directly."
"So it could take control of me?" Shepard asked quietly.
"No, I think that's very unlikely," Miranda replied instantly. "If it had that capability it would have done so, instead of simply asking you to surrender. However your implants do pick up the communication signal which causes the bioelectrical impulses to over-excite-"
"Which causes pain, increased pressure, and the small capillaries in your sinus cavity to burst," Chakwas stepped in.
"So whenever this fucker appears and talks to me, my head feels like it's going to explode. That's great to have in battle," Shepard grunted, half-glancing back at the two women. Despite Chakwas's medical intervention, the bruising on her face was still stark. Most notably, the two semi-circles of black and purple beneath her eyes.
"Prolonged exposure at this point would probably render you unconscious," Miranda admitted. "However, now that we know what's causing it, Mordin and I can find a solution. We may not be able to prevent you from hearing this Harbinger's 'voice', but I'm confident we can find some way to keep it from causing you pain or incapacitating you."
Shepard nodded slowly. "I trust you will," she said simply.
{Commander, we are free and clear of the planet,} Joker reported. {I have an incoming communication for you from the Illusive Man.}
Straightening, Shepard strode out of the infirmary without another word.
However many millions or even trillions of miles might separate them, Shepard's dark energy could be felt the moment her holographic image appeared. The Illusive Man seemed nonplussed, as intent as ever on pretending they had anything even remotely approaching a polite, professional relationship.
"Shepard, good work on-"
"Which part?" Shepard interrupted hotly. "The part where I lost half the colony? The part where the Collectors escaped? Or the part where they nearly split my head like a fucking melon? Oh, I know…you must mean the part where I got into a fist-fight with one of my best friends."
"I read Miranda's reports," he replied. "Yes, you ran into challenges, but as always, you overcame them-"
"Overcame them? Stop giving me a goddamn pep-talk, you ass! Stop pissing in my ear and telling me it's fucking raining, all right? I'm not a motherfucking idiot!"
"Shepard, calm down-"
"Tell me Horizon wasn't a set-up," Shepard replied furiously. "Ash heard rumors I was not only alive but working with Cerberus. Anderson heard the same rumors. I know your fucking security isn't that goddamn lax. Tell me you didn't put me, my crew, those colonists, and my friend at risk for your own agenda!"
"Shepard, I am here for the same reason you are. To make sure these abductions stop, to make sure the Reapers don't succeed in their plans. I may have let it slip that you were alive, and working for us. I may have also let it slip that Horizon might be the next colony to be attacked, to help…persuade the Alliance to send Ashley Williams there. We know that the Collectors are looking for you or for people associated to you. I also knew it was only a matter of time before the Collectors hit more colonies. I would much rather they hit colonies where we can expect them and potentially stop them."
"So you used Ash as bait," Shepard spat. "What about Nan? Was Nan bait too?"
"Shepard, you need to see the big picture. This is for humanity, for the greater good. You know as well as I do sacrifices have to be made, risks have to be taken-"
"As far as I can tell, my friends and I are the only ones taking the risks and making the sacrifices," Shepard replied. "Why don't you leave that shiny little safe palace of yours and come visit my ship for a couple of weeks? Let me slap a rifle in your hand and see just how willing you are then to start taking those risks, you fucking cowardly pi yanr. Chui se!"
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Shepard, but it doesn't change facts. Now we know fully what we're up against, and we were able to save half a colony…which is more than we have accomplished yet. As for your friend…I was wrong about your interactions with T'Soni but you still must remain devoted to this mission. I am sorry about Chief Williams but truth be told whether or not she sees and understands the truth is a moot point. It does not change the mission or what is at stake. Best you put it behind you."
"I'll decide what's best for me, fuck you very much," Shepard glared. "You're not my father, my friend, or even someone I respect…you're a resource, and that's fucking it. So don't call me back unless you have something that I can use."
As Shepard turned and vanished, the Illusive Man reached out to his console and shut off the interface. His expression was stone as he called up another image, contemplating the graphic feed of a form sitting on a bed for a long moment.
I had hoped it wouldn't come to it but, if Shepard continues to prove difficult, you may be the only way.
Recipient unavailable. Please leave message.
Shepard grimaced tiredly at the message on her console, rubbing idly at her bruised nose before she reached out and hit the audio-feed to record her voice.
"Hey, Tianlán, it's me. Apparently you're busy…off doing important Broker stuff, no doubt. I hope I didn't step over the line with Rasler and her boys. I just…well. I just need to know you're all right."
She closed her eyes a moment, scrubbing her fingers over her lips before she continued. "Collectors hit another colony today…which you probably already know…yeah. Horizon. Managed to save just under half of the population. I guess that should make me happy but…I just keep thinking of the other half taken away in that ship. And it turns out that Ash was there. She didn't get taken but…well, let's just say, our reunion wasn't exactly roses. She thinks I'm a traitor, Li…putting my back on the Alliance, on everything I stood for and…well, you know… Cerberus. Part of me can't help but think she's right."
She shook her head in irritation a moment, then straightened. "Anyway, I just wanted to talk. Call back whenever you can. I just need to hear your voice. I ummm…yeah. Bye."
She closed the message and sent it off. Snatching up a cigar and her lighter, she then picked up her flask, filling it from her whiskey reserves before spinning the top back on tightly. Tucking it in her pocket she left the Nest and took the lift down to Engineering.
I still know where my loyalties lie.
Coming from almost anyone else, Shepard wouldn't give a shit. Coming from Ashley, however, it was a knife that dug in deep. Shepard didn't have many of what she'd call 'close friends'. Kasumi was quickly becoming one but Tali, Ash, Li…they were different, and always would be. The knife was only made sharper by the fact that Ash was a marine. They came from the same cloth, stood for the same things. Ash, of all people, should have understood.
Or maybe it's just that she understands too well.
Stepping off the lift in Engineering she headed down to the maintenance area, the lowest accessible point on the ship one could get to without crawling into ductwork.
Truth be told, she was almost tempted to do just that- hole up in some vent somewhere. Instead she made herself stop instead on the stairs before she lit up her cigar, tried to center.
"You again?" Jack's voice was inevitable, and came only moments later as she was alerted by the snap of the lighter.
Shepard glanced up at her, pulled her flask from her pocket and tossed it at the tattooed woman.
"Thought you could use a drink," she mumbled. Jack caught the flask, spinning the cap off before taking a dose and leaning up on the wall.
"Why do you always come down here?" she asked, eyes narrow.
Shepard shrugged. "Quiet, dark. Same reasons you like it, I suppose."
"Not so quiet. I'm down here," Jack retorted.
"Don't mind talking to you, Jack," Shepard replied honestly.
"Why?" Jack asked pointedly. "Why don't you mind?"
"Got things in common, I guess."
"Yeah, right. We're nothing alike."
"So you keep saying," Shepard retorted tiredly.
"And you keep insisting otherwise," Jack snorted. Moving over to the stairs she passed Shepard back the flask, then sat down beside her. Shepard took a nip, looking thoughtfully in the distance.
"Osco's dead," she murmured after a moment.
"Yeah, I heard," Jack snorted. "Fucking bitch. Fucking figures."
"You remember much about her?" Shepard asked.
"I remember her face," she said tersely. "I remember being in that room they locked me in, yelling and screaming to be let out. When they did let me out, though, it was either to fight or go to the lab. Didn't like the lab. Fighting was good. Whenever I saw the chain I knew they were taking me to the labs."
"The chain?"
"Yeah, they had this twisted, fucked up chain thing, right? They'd come in, and this crazy fast fucker named Aethis would whip that chain around me…arm, leg, waist, neck sometimes, didn't matter. No matter how fast I was it was never fast enough. As soon as he got the chain on me I was done. I couldn't use my biotics. If I did, the chain would charge up and then they'd shock me with it. Pain like you wouldn't believe."
Shepard stared at her. She'd never heard of anything like this 'chain' before. Some kind of device to halt biotics? A battery to store them? She'd have to ask Liara if she'd heard of such a thing.
Jack shrugged, taking back the flask as Shepard offered it and taking another swallow. "Then they'd take me to the lab, and she'd be there. Needles, examinations, she acted like I was a piece of meat most of the time but sometimes…she'd give me things. Little things, like little candies or lollipops. Twisted bitch, right? Doctors in the lab called me her girl, you know? Whenever she was there and they talked to her about me, it was 'your girl' this and 'your girl' that. For a while I thought she might actually be my mother."
"Could she be?"
"Nah. Shows in the records I was taken when I was little. Real mother was told I'd died or some bullshit. Doesn't matter, I'm just glad it's not her, you know?"
"How'd you get out of that place?" Shepard asked, still nursing her slowly dwindling cigar. Jack's smile had no mirth in it, only ice.
"Something happened. Some kind of emergency. I managed to get out of my cell. Wiped out everything in my way. Including Aethis. Now that was sweet. He didn't have his chain ready, you see? Wasn't expecting me to be out. I turned him into a goddamn smear on the wall. No sign of Osco though. I wanted to piss on her corpse but she wasn't there. Guess one day I'm going to have to go to Tuchanka, find out where they parked her, and piss on her grave instead."
Shepard nodded, getting to her feet and leaning against the wall momentarily, dropping the spent butt of her smoke on the floor grate and scuffing it out with her boot.
"Why are you asking me this, anyway? Why do you even fucking care?" Jack asked.
Shepard shrugged, shoulders against the wall as she folded her arms. "Why should I not care?"
Jack suddenly surged up, lighting with blue. Before Shepard could even reach for the pistol on her hip her arms were pulled out at her sides and she was pinned to the wall with biotics. Completely immobilized from the neck down, all Shepard could do was curse herself.
Damn fucking fool! Look what you got yourself into!
"What the fuck is it with you?" Jack demanded, now standing toe to toe with the frozen commander, hands still frosted with energy. "I had you pegged, Shepard. Alliance brat who thinks she's fucking tough, someone who would go crying to Mama the second any real shit hit the fan. I insult you to your goddamn face and you don't defend yourself. You keep trying to be nice to me but I know how the galaxy works. I'm not a naïve little colony prick. Everyone wants something. So what do you want from me, Shepard? Why the fucking buddy-buddy act? "
"I don't want anything from you except your help with the Collectors," Shepard retorted. "I don't even want that if you're not willing to give it."
"Bullshit," Jack fumed. "There's got to be something! You can't just-" Then her eyes seemed to clarify, the scowl on her face relaxing with understanding.
"Oh. I get it."
"What?" Shepard asked warily.
"Don't play baffled, Shepard," Jack actually seemed to be oddly relieved. "I know what you're after. This is about sex."
"What?" Shepard blurted.
"Please," Jack snorted. "What the fuck else could you want? I heard about you and that…that asari, so I know what field you play. If that's what this is about, you could have just fucking said so."
"I don't-" Shepard began furiously, only to break off as Jack suddenly plastered her lips over the commander's. She was still trapped by biotics, unable to even turn her head away. It did not, however, last long. Having convinced herself she knew what Shepard was after, confident the commander would take what she wanted now that it had been officially offered, Jack let the biotics die. In a breath, Shepard was free.
A breath after that, Jack's rear-end slammed hard to the floor as the angry commander shoved her backward.
Del wiped a wrist over her lip, face stone. "Don't you ever do that again," she threatened in a voice that promised nothing less than dismemberment.
Jack gaped at her a second, before her own expression tightened into anger again…and bafflement. Her hands slapped to the ground beside her before she surged up to her feet.
"What the fuck, Shepard?" she bellowed. "If not that, then what the fuck do you want? I don't know what to do…I don't know where I fucking stand with you!"
"Jack, I get that you've been hurt, that you've been used. I get your anger…believe me, I get your anger," Shepard replied. "But sometimes, some whiskey and a talk is just some goddamn whiskey and a talk. I just figured we had some things in common."
"Like what?" Jack asked in exasperation, then jabbed a finger toward Shepard's left wrist. "Meat-hooks, the sneak-thief tells me. You tore your own hand free of meat-hooks?"
"I did what I had to," Shepard replied.
"Where do you get the balls for shit like that?"
"Why the fuck you think I'm a pansy-ass pussy is beyond me. Is it because I don't kick around everything smaller than me? Or feel the need to have a pissing contest with you?"
"Something like that," Jack snorted.
"You think you're the only one who grew up locked in a room, Jack?" Shepard glared. "I don't need to defend myself to you, or thrash you around in some immature display so that you think I'm worth some kind of twisted respect. I couldn't give two fucks what you think about me but I'm goddamn tired of this bullshit. You got handed a shit deal, and that fucking sucks. The pain you've gone through, the things that were done to you…shittiest fucking deal ever. I get that. I've been fucking through it."
"Oh yeah? People tortured you, did they? Did experiments on you?"
"So your pain is the only kind of pain there is? The only kind that is real? I was born in a locked room to a couple of junkie parasites who couldn't care less that I even existed. I ate cigarette butts and drank out of a toilet to survive. I didn't see sunshine until I was six years old and had been trapped with their dead, rotting corpses for three days. Do you know what a starving kid who's little more than an animal does with dead bodies after three goddamn days? Desperation is a unique flavor."
That made Jack blink, some of the terse skepticism fading from her face.
Shepard had never spoken of these things so directly, not even to Nan. Liara knew the true extent of them only through the mind-melds, but Shepard did not verbally articulate them even to her. She was growing visibly agitated as she spoke, but she didn't let herself stop.
"After that, I lived in vents for another six years. Avoiding the Blue-Shirts, avoiding the gangs. I ate out of garbage cans and learned to read by spying through a grate over an old man's shoulder as he read his morning news before catching the train. And the gangs were bad. You didn't want to get caught on Savon street. I did once. Nine years old. Twenty year old fucker named Furlock and his two boys pulled me ankle-first out of a vent when I was too slow. They were eating pizza, you see, and I had tried for the box. They caught me. You know what they do to vent-rats on Savon when they catch them? Six needles…neck, arms, both legs. Who knows what dirty shit was on them, or in them? They thought it was a fucking game…laughed when the drugs made me fall down, when they made me sick. Then they played a new game. I bet you can guess what kind of game that was."
She went back to the stairs and snatched hold of the discarded flask, but restrained herself from actually drinking it. Her fingers were tight enough on the metal, however, to nearly dent it. "We've both been through fire, Jack. Goddamn world of pain set upon us by others, helpless to stop it. Does it matter the names and the faces and the reasons behind the torture? It'd dead. It's gone. This is now."
Shepard looked over at the ex-con. "I don't want anything from you, Jack, except to understand that sometimes I need to hide in the dark too."
She flung the flask at Jack's chest, the other woman catching it.
"Keep it," Shepard said bitterly. "I got more upstairs."
"No, she is human," Liara smiled. "Her name is Del Shepard."
Eír had never before experienced a moment where time actually seemed to stop, until now. She had known, of course, that Liara knew Shepard…she was her old commander, after all. This, however…this was beyond what she had expected, and her head was spinning in a thousand different directions. A storm of confusion, disbelief, and anger swirled up in her so suddenly all she could do was simply sit there.
The expression on her face must have been a sight to behold, however, as Liara's smile quickly faded into concern. "Eír, what is it? What is the matter?"
The younger girl's lower lip trembled before her eyes shut tightly. "Not mine," she murmured desperately against the surging storm. "Not mine…this is not mine!"
"Eír, what is not yours-… Eír?"
Liara's alarm grew as she saw the faint sheen of blue growing over the girl's skin, the unmistakable sparking of biotics.
A breath later, and Shrive was there, the huntress arriving so swiftly she seemed to have teleported directly across the room. Sydney was not far behind.
"Eír, sweetie…let it go."
"It is not mine," Eír said desperately. "This is not mine! I do not want to-!"
"I know, I know it is not yours," Shrive urged. "Let it go, she is not here. She is not here, Eír."
"What is going on?" Liara asked. Shrive glanced up at her.
"I need to get her out of here," she said quickly. "Come to the apartment, one hour. I will do my best to explain then."
Liara rose as Shrive pulled Eír up to her feet, Sydney almost immediately putting a restraining hand on her shoulder. "Let them go," she said. Shrive quickly ushered Eír out of the restaurant, arm slung about her shoulders, murmuring to her intently.
"What happened?" Sydney asked after they'd gone.
"I-I do not know," Liara replied. "We were speaking about Shrive, about bond-mates. She asked if Del was asari as well and I told her that she was human, and it…it was as if I had just murdered a child in front of her. The look on her face…"
"Maybe she really doesn't like humans?" Sydney asked, surprised.
"N-no, I do not think that is it. She started saying 'it is not mine' and then her biotics started to flare a little, out of her control…"
The worry on her face was plain to be seen. Sydney shook her head. "Shrive seemed a bit more calm about it. Maybe it's a known condition? She said she would explain, right? Let's give them that hour. Get your head centered again, and then we'll go find out what's what."
By the time they got back to the apartment, Eír's biotics had calmed, but she had not. She was openly sobbing as they got in the door, Shrive doing her best to comfort her.
"She will hate me now," Eír lamented miserably. "Why? Everything was going so well and…"
"And she said Shepard's name," Shrive deduced. Eír sobbed and shook her head.
"She said…she said that…that she and Shepard…we were talking about bond-mates…"
Shrive looked surprised and Eír shook her head again. "How could she…how could she do that? With someone who killed her own mother…?"
"Shh, sweetling, shh," Shrive hugged her close. "We do not have the whole story, and you know that this anger is not yours. Let it go. I will explain it all to Liara-"
"No! Then she will surely hate me!" Eír worried. "Gellian made me to kill the one she loves!"
"Trust me, Eír," Shrive murmured, kissing her temple. "Liara is intelligent, right? She is smart enough to understand. She will know this is not your choice. We will find a way to conquer this, all three of us. Resist letting fear consume you as much as you resist Gellian's artificial anger. We will figure this out."
Slowly she soothed the girl until Eír had exhausted herself, then guided her into the bedroom to rest. Resting her forehead on the door a moment, she gave a silent prayer to the Goddess, before the door chime alerted her. The hour had passed already.
Answering the door, she ushered Liara and Sydney in to sit down. "She is resting," she explained, going over to the small drink service. "I am afraid we do not have much, but we will all be needing a drink, I think."
"Is she all right?" Liara asked, fiddling with the hem of her tunic, a nervous habit.
"She will be," Shrive reassured, returning with the drinks.
"Is it some kind of an illness? She was saying 'it is not mine'…"
Shrive sat down herself, taking a sip of her own drink before setting it aside and regarding Liara. "You know Eír's mother…Gellian. You know how Eír…came to be?"
"Yes," Liara replied. "It does not matter. I told her she is as much Benezia's daughter as I am, that it matters who she is, not the circumstances of her birth."
"This is true," Shrive nodded. "But Gellian did not create Eír merely to have some small piece of Benezia left to her. Eír is…well, to be blunt, Eír is a weapon."
"A weapon?" Liara blinked, horrified. Sydney frowned.
"What kind of a weapon? A weapon to do what?"
"A weapon of vengeance," Shrive said patiently. "Eír is incredibly strong, both physically and biotically…but biotically she is far stronger than any other asari I have ever encountered. Gellian made her this way, manipulated her genetically to produce the perfect tool of her vengeance. Eír was made to kill Commander Del Shepard."
"Wh-what?" Liara felt like the breath had been knocked out of her. Her own newly-found sister, that sweet girl she had talked the afternoon with…was meant to kill the one person in the galaxy that meant the most to her.
"Gellian loathed Shepard for what she did to Benezia," Shrive told her. "She was losing her mind, quite literally, and she created Eír to contain her hatred, rage, and vengeance. Gellian cared about nothing except murdering Shepard. Eír does not want to hurt her, however. She never knew Benezia, has no reason to wish vengeance. This anger is not hers, and she knows that. Overcoming it, however, is a harder task."
"And when I admitted that I was involved with Del, she…oh, Goddess…" Liara closed her eyes sadly. "If she is as strong as you say she is-"
"She is, and more," Shrive told her. "I do not doubt that Shepard is a formidable warrior but trust me… Eír's biotics would rip her apart…on a molecular level, given a little more discipline."
"No one's going to let that happen," Sydney said sternly.
"Of course they are not," Shrive replied. "As I said, Eír is trying. She does not want this anger, this hatred. It is not of her choosing, and she is afraid that knowing this will cause you to hate her."
"No, I do not hate her," Liara replied. "As you said, this is the doing of a sad, mentally-disturbed woman who was ill from the day she was born. I am only sorry it is Eír that must bear the burden of it. You understand, I must warn Shepard about this."
"What will Shepard do?" Shrive hedged nervously, regarding the two. The last thing she wanted was the human commander going after Eír in an attempt to rectify the threat.
"She will not harm Eír, that I can promise you," Liara said, instantly gauging the other woman's fears. "And she has resources. Between her contacts and mine perhaps we can find a way to help Eír further, make it easier for her to make her own choices, to follow the path she desires. Shepard has a good heart, I can assure you of that, and her determination cannot be broken once she sets her mind to something-"
"Like killing Benezia?" Eír asked tiredly from the bedroom doorway, drawing all three sets of eyes to her.
"You should be resting," Shrive said, and started to get to her feet, only to halt as Liara rose instead, giving her a gentle gesture before walking over to the other girl.
"Eír, I am sorry for the pain that Gellian went through when she lost Benezia, and I know that this anger you feel toward Shepard is not your own. But you must believe me. Shepard is not the monster that Gellian thought she was."
"How can you say that?" Eír asked miserably. "She killed your mother, right in front of you-"
"No, she did not," Liara said sadly. "Saren and the Reapers killed my mother. They poisoned her mind with indoctrination, robbed her of her will, controlled her into perpetrating horrible acts. She was not in control of herself, Eír. She was a prisoner in her own mind, and attacked us against her will. What Shepard was forced to shoot was no longer my mother. She would have killed Shepard, myself, and my friend. Shepard did not pull that trigger easily, and it is a guilt she still carries."
"You love her," Eír murmured.
"I do," Liara replied. "Very much. And I owe her more than I can ever repay."
"I do not want to hurt her," Eír sniffled. "I do not want to take her away from you. I just want to…to go somewhere, to live with Shrive and be happy. I do not want to hate, to kill anyone."
"I know," Liara said softly, embracing the younger girl. "Eír, you are my sister, and I will do everything in my power to help you find that happiness. I swear it to the Goddess."
The door to the starboard side observation deck hissed open, Shepard taking a step through before halting. She had come up here after leaving Jack in Engineering, but had forgotten that the room had been assigned as the asari Justicar's quarters. The woman was standing at the window, peering out into the ebony black.
"I'm sorry," Shepard murmured. "I did not mean to intrude."
She turned to go, only to be halted by Samara's sultry voice.
"There is a saying among my people, Shepard. 'One cannot bear the depths of the sea alone'."
Pausing, Shepard glanced back at her. After a moment, the asari turned her own head and regarded the human. "I would like to speak with you, if you have the time."
"Yeah, of course," Shepard replied, stepping down into the room and walking over. Samara's storm grey eyes measured her a moment.
"That is not a quality one often encounters," she noted.
"What quality?" Shepard asked. As always she felt slightly intimidated by the woman, a bit too aware of her age and beauty than was probably wise.
"You have much that troubles you, and I am little more than a stranger to you…yet at my simple request you have put aside all your own concerns and are willing to address mine."
"You're part of my crew now," Shepard replied. "That is what a commander does."
"That is a veil you hide behind, but as you will," Samara told her. "You comported yourself on Horizon as a true warrior, Shepard. Your kindness and compassion to that child spoke volumes of your honor, your spirit. I am…sorry, that your friend reacted the way that she did."
Shepard looked broodily out toward the stars. "Ash reacted exactly the same way I would have, if the situation was reversed. I mean, she was right, wasn't she? I turned my back on the Alliance, accepted the help of terrorists…for my own selfish reasons."
"And what reasons are those?" Samara asked.
"A woman was taken from one of the colonies," Shepard told her. "A woman that was as good as a mother to me. I knew that if I went back to the Alliance, chances were that I would never be able to find her, to get her back safely. How selfish is that? That I'm willing to work with an organization I loathe, to toss everything I should care about aside, just to save one woman…not the thousands of other missing people, just that one woman."
Samara said nothing, and after a moment Shepard shook her head. "She's probably dead by now," she said softly. "It will be weeks still, possibly months, before we can even hope to get through that relay and find the Collector home world and even then, there's no guarantee we'll find our missing people…and little chance they'll still be alive."
"Yet you cling to that chance."
"It's all I've got," Shepard replied. "I hold to it, because that hope is all I've got."
"You are a fascinating woman, Commander," Samara said without reservation. "And your friend is incorrect, as are you. Thousands of people is a hard number to fathom. You have put a face to them, the face of your friend that you wish to rescue…and this helps you to keep driving onward. But I do not believe that you would have turned your back on the others if your friend had not been taken as well. Your morals are uncompromised, Shepard."
"You're sure about that?"
"It is my job to know about morals," Samara pointed out. "Your friend does you an injustice in not trusting you…and you do an injustice to yourself in the same."
"Injustice…" Shepard hedged. "Please tell me that doesn't mean you have to kill us."
Samara smiled, ever so slightly. "Justicars do not slay over every miniscule case of injustice, Commander Shepard. If we did, there would not be a soul left breathing in this galaxy, including ourselves. After all, is it just to expect a person to give up their life and all they love to pursue a single, heartbreaking cause…even if that cause is justice itself?"
"I suppose not."
"I have my Code, Shepard…and you have yours. Yours may not be written in black and white but it is the truth, all the same. I am honored to be a part of this mission and under your command. You will find justice for your friend…and for the others who have been taken. I believe in the end, you will also find justice for yourself."