Episode Chapter 36: Verismo, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~0~

~~Bella~~

I curled up under the covers, clutching the pillow Edward had slept with and sighed contentedly when I heard the door thud closed.

His taste was still on my tongue; the ghost of his touch still tingled on my lips. The warmth of his body still radiated around me, the sheets hugging my body securely.

I must have drifted back to sleep because when I woke, panting and aching, I realized that my erotic dream hadn't satisfied my desire for Edward; it had most definitely re-ignited it.

I rolled on my stomach and slowly slid my hands into my pyjama shorts. I closed my eyes and remembered snippets of the dream and recollected our intimacy at the cabin. I needed to relieve the pulsing ache.

Edward's touch, his lips, his hands, being surrounded by water in the lake, then the best vision of all – Edward's warm arms wrapped around me in the shower, but instead of stopping when I slipped in his embrace, I allowed myself to imagine the feel of him sliding inside of me, fast and slick, his tongue in my mouth, his moans of pleasure in my ears and, and...

I came silently, chanting his name over and over in my head.

The euphoria was short-lived. I lay exhausted, breathing deeply, my body relaxed and tingling but my mind still going over our short conversation the previous night.

Friday. In two days.

The song would be officially registered as owned by us, a legal document that said we had jointly created something; my words, his music, perfectly combined to form an amazing song.

The start of Edward's career in music?

I rolled over to lie on my back.

Once the copyright is finalized, what will happen? We'd hide in this hotel, get to know each other intimately and then...

I couldn't seem to complete the vision, because each time I tried, the outcome devastated me.

How would we really be able to make it work?

I couldn't seriously believe that there would be any long-term relationship with Edward. He travelled the world, making movies. His music career would take off, and that would mean he'd be in the media spotlight more than ever. I knew he wanted to protect me from that life. It may be possible while he and I were 'living' in the hotel, but what would happen when he finished filming?

My stomach clenched and grumbled with hunger.

I need to have breakfast and I need to get my laptop from the car.

I got out of the bed lethargically, showered and dressed and went down to the lobby restaurant to eat some fruit and cereal with the other hotel guests. I had an espresso, sipping it slowly.

As I descended in the lift to the parking garage, my head was swimming with thoughts of Edward. No matter how much I'd wanted to go back to the Purple bar and just sit and talk to him last night, I wasn't disappointed that we hadn't; Edward in my room was so much better. I knew I couldn't sit next to him in the bar without it being completely obvious that I felt way more than friendship.

James wouldn't say anything? Would he?

No, James is used to serving celebrities. It's his job. But if other guests, like those flirty cougars, came to the bar, surely they'd work it out.

How obvious would I be in my adoration of him?

I unlocked the car, grabbed my overnight bag from the trunk and flung it on my shoulder, dragging my laptop bag out as well. Then I saw the parcel Jessica had sent to me from Sydney.

I totally forgot about that!

I reached in to pinch the corner and drag it out, noticing Jessica's neatly scripted handwriting in black ball-point, with little smiley faced dots on her 'i's.

She's such an adorable dag. I miss her.

I locked the car with a click on the top of the key, and lugged my overnight bag, laptop bag and the parcel to my room.

I plugged in my Mac to charge and checked my phone.

A message from Edward!

I miss you already. I've seen my call sheet. I won't be getting away from here until well after 3am. No need to wait up for me xx

I read the message again. That sinking feeling came back.

No need to wait up? Does that mean he's not going to use my spare card and come to my room tonight?

No, he just wants me to get some sleep.

Maybe it's for the best; two more days until the copyright is finalized. Could I control my desire for him for that long?

I opened my email.

My mom had sent me a quick email telling me her Skype user name. She said she had no idea how to use it, but Phil could show her and we could video chat. She also emailed me a picture of the boat they were thinking of purchasing.

I wished I could tell my mom about Edward. I knew she would instantly love him, and she'd be ecstatic to hear I had a boyfriend. As far as she was concerned, I was an introverted virgin, with no desire to date. She still had no clue about my torrid relationship with Riley. I hated that I hadn't confided in her, but at the time, I was too devastated and embarrassed that I'd believed he loved me, and it turned out to be the most mortifying deception, especially after she warned me not to wile away in teenage crush fantasy land. 'It will only lead to heartache,' she predicted.

I knew she wanted me to find someone, but she always said not to settle for second best.

I checked the other unread emails in my inbox. Sure enough, there was an email from Irina, telling me that Edward's lawyer, Harold Greene, had arranged everything and she'd been over the forms and given her sign-off on the document. She said Greene could meet me at the hotel any time after midday on Friday. The email listed his cell number and she'd attached a copy of the copyright forms and highlighted everything I needed to know. She ended her email with:

I wish I could hear the music, because your words have me so intrigued...a love song written with Edward Cullen, even I'm swooning at the thought. I haven't told anyone, so your secret is safe with me.

Love Irina xx

I closed my eyes tight, and pushed my knuckles firmly against my eyelids in frustration. A pattern of swirling dots appeared in the blackness from the pressure.

Secret.

A secret for now, but I'd have to tell people eventually; Jessica, my mom and Phil and my dad and Elaine.

Would someone find out and leak it to the press? Should I tell Eric first, so he can get the big scoop he wanted?

Surely no one would find out until the song was announced to be on the soundtrack?

I thought back to Emmett's words at the cabin and his suggestion I could visit the set location with him and watch Edward filming. I knew it was his polite way of suggesting I sign a non-disclosure agreement. Edward himself said he wasn't supposed to confirm or deny he was in a relationship; it was part of his contract.

Did that mean I couldn't tell anyone that we'd written a song together?

Maybe I can go with Emmett to the filming location on Friday, meet with Harold and Edward, and sign the NDA at the same time? Then Edward would know that I would never tell anyone about us.

The last thing I wanted to do was put him in an awkward position in his professional life.

I was getting myself worked up again.

I shouldn't mention anything to anyone until I've spoken to Edward and his lawyer.

This whole thing was so far out of my comfort zone; my heart was palpitating just thinking about it.

I slowly walked over to the kettle and made a cup of tea, trying to soothe myself as I watched the bag steep in the mug of boiled water. The swirling steam was a slight comfort.

Now, let's see what's inside the parcel. Jessica's words will cheer me up.

I placed my mug on the bedside table, ripped open the parcel and tipped the contents on the unmade bed.

Letters? Oh, that's right, she said someone had sent me snail-mail.

When I saw the handwriting on one of the letters, my heart began hammering again.

The letters were from Riley.

~0~

~~Edward~~

I read the call sheet from top to bottom, scanning the scenes we were shooting today. Just like I'd expected, Marc wanted to shoot mostly scenes with me and Rosalie. There were only a few that were with secondary characters.

Fuck my life.

It didn't matter whether Emmett came through with my request for condoms or not.

I won't get back to the hotel until at least 3:30am, and I have to be back here at 6am.

An hour and a half with Bella after twenty plus hours at work was not what I had in mind for our first time.

I sat listlessly through an hour of makeup and another twenty minutes in wardrobe, firming up my resolve to act as if I didn't have any ill feelings towards my co-star.

Just stick to the script, be courteous, be professional.

I kind of succeeded for the first few scenes. I kept to myself in between takes and Rosalie steered clear of me as well. But by mid morning, the thought of not getting back to Bella, especially when she had given me her spare room card, was making me more and more morose.

I sent Bella a message in between bites of a mediocre catered breakfast.

I miss you already. I've seen my call sheet. I won't be getting away from here until well after 3am. No need to wait up for me xx

I knew I needed to call her, and I hoped I would get a longer break later in the afternoon. I wanted to reassure that I would definitely be in her room tonight, but it would be a short rest before I needed to get back to work.

She'll understand.

I checked my voice messages quickly. There was one from Angela.

"Hey Edward, it's me. I'm not saying a word about you know what, but I hope that you explained everything to you know who?"

I couldn't help but smile at Angela's exasperated tone.

"That's not why I'm calling though. You know it's Ben's birthday next Thursday but he'll be in LA. I've organized a surprise dinner for him this Friday. He's got another gig at Richards that night, so we'll do dinner and then we'll all go to see the band. Please tell me you can get away and be at the restaurant before he gets there for the big surprise? You'd need to be there by seven. You being there is the only birthday present he'd ever want. Please be there Edward? For me? If you can't make it to the dinner, you have to be there for the gig at ten. I'm pretty sure he's going to want you to get up on stage with him. Oh, and I'm going to invite Bella. I don't think that will be a problem, will it? Alice told me she can't come at such short notice, so, um, anyway. Call me when you get five minutes. I'll email you the restaurant details. Bye."

I knew Angela, and she always made a big deal out of Ben's birthday. A surprise dinner would mean a private room in a local restaurant with at least thirty guests. Ben would be so hyped when all his friends continued to the gig to cheer him on.

He always asked me to get up on stage with him and his band and I always politely declined. I felt weird about it, knowing that me being there would cause pandemonium, but then I remembered the buzz and excitement of playing at Laurent's. I resolved not to pass up the opportunity this time. Bella would be in the audience. The song would be copyrighted. Ben has the sheet music. Even if I surprised him last minute and said I'd perform, I knew he'd be itching to play Episode it with me.

He probably already knows how to accompany it perfectly.

I could sing Episode to Bella.

My mind was made up. I'll sing Episode to Bella. I won't drink alcohol this time. I'll be buzzed and focused after performing.

On Friday night when Bella and I go back to the hotel, I'll make love to her; I'll worship her body all night. I'll have protection – abundant protection – on hand and she'll have no doubt, I'll leave no room for any doubt in her mind. She's mine and I'm hers and as soon as I finish filming, everyone on the fucking planet will know that she is my girlfriend.

~0~

~~Bella~~

I held one of the letters, my vision blurring as I stared at Riley's exceptionally cursive, perfect script; my name and my apartment address.

No return address.

I knew if Jessica was aware the letters had been from Riley she wouldn't have sent them to me, or she would have told me or rather, warned me and asked if I wanted to see them.

There were six letters in all. I looked at the postage dates; one sent each day, for six consecutive business days, over three weeks ago!

Around the same time I met Edward?

Tears fell, yet I felt numb.

If I'd received these letters three weeks ago, before I ever heard the haunting melody from the unknown pianist in the Purple bar, I would have already ripped the envelopes open, curiosity burning me from the inside out to know what Riley could possibly want to say to me after the hurt; after three years of heartache.

Why six letters? Why not say what you had to in one letter?

A blast of anger exploded through me. I frisbee'd the letter I was holding across the room.

Why now?

Why now that I'm trying to forget you, trying to get over you? Trying to be with Edward, trying to give myself completely to him?

Part of me wanted to gather the letters up, open them one by one, read Riley's words to me. Would they contain any explanation? Would reading them give me any closure?

Another part of me just wanted to burn them.

He thought I was still in Sydney? He'd split up with Victoria after her father died, he just wants to get me back into bed, until he finds someone else, someone better…

Thank God Kate's voice came back to me.

Riley was my past, Edward IS my future. What good would it do reverting back to the memories and longing I held for Riley when nothing could be changed?

But he might want me back for real. It could have been a horrible mistake. What if he does love me, he's sorry. I can go back to my life in Sydney and into Riley's embrace. Edward's world is not for me.

SHUT UP, SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

I silently screamed and tugged my own hair.

My inner fourteen year old couldn't accept that Riley hadn't loved her. She was the delusional voice in my head, filling it with even more insecurity and doubt.

I angrily gathered the letters, gripping them so tightly that they crumpled. I leaned down and pulled open the bottom drawer of the bedside table. It was empty except for the standard issue Bible bound in navy vinyl, and that is where I dropped the letters.

Unread letters from the boy–the man–I had loved.

Love? More like a delusional fantasy.

Riley fractured my heart at age fourteen, after kissing me at that party, awakening my body and mind to the promise of what love could be and then ignoring me for the rest of my school days. Then, when I heard he was in the hospital and that he may die from the injuries he sustained in the motorcycle accident, my heart had split again. And finally, when I thought that the man of my dreams was recovered, healthy and alive, and he told me daily and showed me with his body that he loved me above anything else…

When I saw Riley with Victoria, I knew my entire relationship with him was a self-constructed fantasy. My perception of my life and everything I believed exploded with one soft gesture, with one heartfelt smile, directed at the girl he did love. He would never be mine. He didn't want me.

I was irreparable.

No! That isn't true, just feeling the emotion of the love I feel for Edward – it must mean that Riley didn't permanently damage me?

Of course, Edward will leave me eventually. It didn't matter that no one would ever know about us. It would make it easier for Edward. No one needs to know about me.

I picked up my mug of tea and sipped it. I couldn't let Riley's letters – his words from the past, ruin everything again.

Edward is in my life.

I had no clue how long it would last, how long he would want to be with me...until the song is copyrighted, or signed to be on the soundtrack, until he finishes filming and goes to his next job?

Did anyone ever know how long a relationship could be sustained when it first ignites? I thought I was meant to be with Riley, and it was seven years of wishing for it and only three months of it being true. Nothing could ever change that. Reading the letters would not change anything that happened between us.

I knew I couldn't read the letters and I knew I needed to send a clear and final message to the man I had once loved.

I had to send them back, unopened.

I stood and walked to the desk, opened Safari and I googled Marshall's – Victoria's father's business. I had no idea if Riley still worked there, but I assumed he didn't still live at his family home.

I clicked on the 'About Us' tab and read the history of the company.

Mick Marshall, Victoria's father, had inherited the family business that started in the 1960's as a three-person company, and had now grown to be one of Australia's largest Civil Engineering firms. There was a paragraph about Mick Marshall's death asking for no flowers to be sent to the funeral. It requested instead that monetary donations to be forwarded to the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital Cancer Institute in honour of the support they gave him and his family during his treatment.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Victoria's father died of cancer, like Grandma Swan?

Victoria lost her father to cancer and then Riley dumped her? How could he be that callous?

That's so unlike him. Riley wasn't that like that! He loved her; I know he did.

I clicked on 'Our People' tab and the image that appeared on the screen sent all the air in my lungs out of my body.

Riley.

He looked so much older than I remembered and I realized my memories had him either frozen at fourteen or at age twenty. He was twenty-four now and, according to the website, he had succeeded Mick Marshall to become the Director of the company.

The portrait was exceptional. He was dressed in a business suit, white shirt and black tie. His hands were casually thrust in his pants pockets. He looked corporate and stoic. He wasn't smiling, his eyes were not gleaming and happy, they were dark and intense.

Gone was the boy I'd fallen in love with, gone was the artist with the constant smile and the carefree demeanour.

He used to be creative and outgoing. He hated the thought of working anywhere remotely office-like!

I looked at the company address; the 54th floor of a fashionable new building on Macquarie Street, right in the central business district of Sydney. That was so not what Riley had ever wanted.

But how did I know what he really wanted? I never really knew him; it was all in my head.

I copied down the postal address and noticed my hands were shaking when I clicked the website closed and threw the address in the bottom drawer with the letters.

It all seemed so surreal. Nothing added up.

I was distracted when I heard my phone ring. I dived at it, thinking it was Edward.

Angela?

"Hi Angela!" I said, almost too cheerily, hoping I could hide the fact that tears were still running down my cheeks.

"Bella! How was the cabin? Did you do much writing?"

I wiped at my face and suddenly felt nauseous.

Edward didn't tell her he found me there? He said he'd tricked her into telling him the location, but she doesn't know?

Of course she doesn't know, he said Emmett was the only one that did.

"Um, yes, and no. I swam and walked and read and relaxed. It was beautiful."

"It sounds lovely Bella. Hey, I know you're probably busy, so I won't keep you. I just wanted to make sure you keep Friday night free. I've had to move Ben's surprise birthday party forward, because he's going to LA to do some recording, and he's playing a gig again at Richard's so we're meeting at a restaurant beforehand and then going to his gig. He has no clue! I can't wait to see his face when he sees all of his friends there!"

Friday. Of course Edward would be there. Would he want me there too?

"Sounds great, Angela. Just tell me the time and place."

Angela gave me directions and I wrote them down. She quickly made her excuses, saying she had more people to call and that she couldn't wait to see me.

I sat and finished my tea after she hung up. I thought about Edward, I thought about Riley. My head felt like a brick.

Determined, I grabbed the letters and the address. I made sure I had my purse and sunnies in my bag and I left the hotel.

I have to post these unopened letters back to Australia.

~0~

~~Edward~~

I never got the opportunity to call Bella until midnight, and when I tried, it rang out. She's probably already asleep.

When I returned to my trailer in between takes, I noticed a plain white paper bag on the table.

There were three boxes.

Durex SensiThin and Pleasuremax and a box of Trojan Magnum's.

Emmett, the comedian.

I closed my eyes as I thought of rolling one on just before I...

Fuck!

The thought of actually using these, with Bella, sent me into a hyperventilating panic attack.

By the time the chauffeured car pulled in to the hotel, it was 3:15am. I practically ran to the elevator, frustrated with how slowly it ascended to the 34th floor. Once I was in my room, I packed my clothes and my phone charger for the next day.

I tried to be as silent as possible as I opened her hotel room door and stepped inside. The light seemed to fluctuate, and when I let the door click softly closed, I realized Bella had lit candles; one in the bathroom and one by the bed.

The draft from the door made the candle flicker elongated shadows over the bed, where her graceful body lay sleeping.

Bella had closed the thick drapes. She'd kicked the sheets down to her feet and there lay her pale and shapely legs. She was wearing tiny sleep shorts and a simple white tank top.

I stood gaping and aroused. I placed my bag down at the bathroom door and walked slowly towards her.

I bent down and kissed her cheek.

"Edward?" she murmured then opened her eyes. "Hmmm, I was dreaming of you. Kiss me," she added, her voice low and demanding.

I kissed her chastely on the lips, agonized at how much desire swelled through my body.

"Bella," I whispered as I held my lips against hers. "I'm going to have a shower, OK?"

"OK," she said and snuggled into her pillow.

I pulled the sheets up over her legs and walked briskly into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

I knew what I had to do. I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to control myself, and everything that I had planned for Friday night would dissolve in flash.

It didn't take long to stroke myself to orgasm; I just had to imagine being in bed with Bella with her sleep-affected and arousing voice moaning my name.

It was several minutes before my heart rate slowed and I quickly dried off and got into my pajama pants and a white T-shirt.

I brushed my teeth, plugged my phone into charge then blew out the vanilla scented candle.

I was in the bed and spooning her to a peaceful sleep in minutes.

When I heard the faint trill of my phone alarm from the bathroom, I couldn't stop my body from jerking awake.

Bella's warmth surrounded me. She lay with her leg over my thigh and curled into my side. I felt her warm hand reach to touch my jaw in the darkness then she was hovering over me, slowly kissing me and pushing her breasts into my chest.

Slowly our hands started exploring; all the while the phone in the bathroom seemed to get louder as the minutes passed. My hand slipped under her tank, feeling her hardened nipples, her soft skin, her warmth and the wet heat of her mouth on mine. I was in heaven, a dark heaven that held me enthralled.

Bella's hand brushed over my stomach. I wanted her to touch me. I wanted her naked and I wanted to make love to her, but my cell alarm blaring from the bathroom and the fact that I knew I had to leave meant I couldn't do it. I couldn't make love to her and then leave her.

I rolled her on her back and got off the bed, tripping over my feet as I stumbled into the bathroom and slid the alarm off.

I need some self-control.

The light suddenly illuminated and Bella stood in the doorway, sleepy-eyed, her hair a sexy mess.

I watched her as she walked towards me biting her lip until I had her in my arms.

"I'm sorry," she said into my chest. "I hope you're not going to be late because of me?"

I smoothed her hair then moved away slightly so I could lean down to kiss her.

My soft kiss immediately became demanding and desperate; we both moaned as our passion built. I knew we couldn't go on like this. I wanted her, desperately. I had protection. There shouldn't have been any excuse, yet I found one tumbling from my mouth in between kisses.

"I know I promised you. I want you. I think we should wait, until we have more time to really be together. I don't want to rush it, Bella. I want it to be slow and I want to know that I don't have to go to work afterwards. Tell me you understand; tell me you want the same thing."

My hand slipped up her tank to cup her breast. I didn't give her a chance to answer me, I just kept kissing her. I knew I needed to go, but I couldn't seem to stop.

My phone started ringing. Bella broke away from me. I looked at the display.

Emmett.

I answered curtly.

"I'll be down in three minutes."

"OK." Emmett responded.

My hands brushed against Bella's cheek. "You should go back to sleep. I'll see you tonight."

"Angela invited me to Ben's dinner tomorrow night. Will you be able to go?" she asked me.

I grabbed the clothes from my bag and started getting dressed as Bella stood, blushing and trying to divert her eyes.

"I'm not sure if I can get to the dinner," I said, "but Angela will kill me if I'm not at Ben's gig, so, I'll try to get to both."

I pulled off my pants and pulled my boxers then jeans on, trying to will my throbbing dick to calm.

"So, we'll be, um, you know..." she said softly.

I continued to get dressed then I looked to her face. She seemed shy and uncomfortable.

"What is it?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Nothing. I just...I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

Tomorrow can't come fast enough.

~0~

A/N: I don't want to say anything, to be honest I'm kind of scared to… I know the usual peeps (that I love dearly) will let me know what they think. Those silent readers will probably stay silent, and that's OK too. So, do you think Edward's plan will come off? (No pun intended). Thanks for reading… Luv BBxx