A/N: *sobs* oooooh, writer's block, return to the foul abyss that once aborted you (bonus points to the reader who knows that insult's origin XD) So yeah. Writer's block... but here's one that I'll force myself to post.

Context: ME3 post Citadel DLC

"Shepard…" Liara said hesitantly.

"Yeah? What's up, Li?" Shepard answered as she took a left. She'd forgotten how much she missed driving since Steve had basically taken that over for her on missions. This rental skycar was no MAKO—thankfully—but it was still fun.

"Um," Liara began, still hesitant.

Shepard turned to see Liara's knuckles were pale as she griped her knees. Her bottom lip was suffering from a particularly healthy bite as well. Shepard frowned and pulled over to a landing station. "Liara, what is it?"

Shepard watched as Liara breathed out a slow sigh, her eyes closed and she could have sworn she heard her thank the Goddess. The asari turned in her seat to face her bondmate. She took Shepard's nearest hand in both of hers, rubbing her knuckles and smiling sweetly. Shepard was reminded for the millionth time that there wasn't a creature in the galaxy that could so quickly disarm her. Liara had a hold on her like no one ever had or ever could. She had an inexplicable desire suddenly to be able to drink in the vision before her.

She closed her eyes to savor Liara's attention when she felt blue fingers brush her cheek. Liara took that moment to finally speak. "Shepard, we need to discuss your driving."

Shepard's eyes flashed open, widened with surprise at the left-field topic. "What?"

"My love," Liara smiled and caressed Shepard's cheek softly once more, "it's appalling."

Shepard gaped. How…how…what? "What?" Shepard repeated aloud, unable to form a coherent response.

"I've known you for many years now," Liara insisted, "and it doesn't matter what you drive or where. Your driving remains the worst I've ever seen outside asari driving school and that was over six decades ago, my love."

"Hey!" Shepard finally found herself able to think past the insult. "I get around just fine. Maybe my driving…um … style is unique, but hey, it gets results!"

Liara nodded, soothing Shepard with sweet shushes. "Why don't you let me drive the rest of the way to the apartment? In truth, this won't be an evening to ourselves and I would hate to be impolite hosts by not making it there in time to admit our guests. I'm afraid a skycar accident would inevitably delay us."

Shepard was floored. Liara had never…well, ok, there was that one time Liara complained about her driving on Illium when they were going after Vasir, but Shepard figured a biotic psychopath working for the yahg Shadow Broker was worth a few creative maneuvers….But…here they were, on the Strip and Liara apparently thought her driving was bad enough to merit changing seats.

"Um," Shepard blinked as she struggled to respond at last. "Ok, sure. Hop on over."

As they meandered around each other in their seats to switch places, Shepard rested her hands on Liara's hips to guide her in place.

"Why thank you," Liara flirted with her, her cheeks a faint shade of lilac as she repositioned the seat to accommodate herself.

Shepard rolled her eyes and a smile played at her lips. "My driving can't be all that bad. You wouldn't be turned on if you really feared for your life."

Liara turned to her and raised a brow. "Has my life ever not been in danger when I'm turned on by you, Shepard?"

The commander could only balk as the asari laughed and pulled back into traffic.

~.~.~

Shepard was expecting to see maybe Tali and Garrus, perhaps even Wrex if the big guy was on the Station, but when she entered her apartment to see everyone was there that had been at the big party a few nights back, she was taken aback.

"Uh, hey, everyone," she said and her eyes traveled to Liara's for answers.

Liara merely smiled at her and ushered her to the couch opposite the fireplace.

They sat and Wrex, who was indeed apparently visiting the Citadel still, began. "Shepard, your driving stinks."

Shepard felt an eye twitch at the blatant insult from her once subordinate. "What?"

Williams spoke up next. "Skipper, it's never been great and we've always had your back, but now that the Reapers are here we kinda need you to not kill yourself and any unlucky crewmates you might have with you in a vehicle."

Shepard opened and closed her mouth several times. "What the fuck is this?" she finally managed to speak, a lilt of laughter in her voice. "A fucking intervention?"

"YES," the whole room resounded.

Shepard's eyes widened as they scanned her friends' expressions. "Oh come on! It can't be that bad."

Garrus shifted uncomfortably. "It's bad, Shepard. In fact, it's gotten worse since you came back. I know you're Miss Indestructible, but some of us aren't as lucky," he said, pointing to his scars.

Jack laughed. "FYI, I'm fine with your driving, Girl Scout. It's the only thing you do that's crazier than me."

Miranda scoffed. "You're not helping, Jack."

"For fuck's sake, I'm not trying to. Didn't I just say I don't think she needs this intervention?" Jack rolled her eyes and slugged back some of her beer she'd probably stolen from Shepard's stash.

Tali sat on the opposite side of Shepard as Liara and patted Shepard's shoulder as if she were some sort of invalid. "It's okay, Shepard. You have many other talents."

Shepard shook her head. "Gee thanks, Mom. Samara?"

The justicar opened her eyes and her biotics dissipated as she ended her meditation. "I would have to agree with your colleagues, Commander. Your driving has at various times tempted me to make an arrest so that you may never endanger others again. As it is, you are the best hope for the galaxy and thus I cannot justify making such a decision before the Reapers are defeated."

Shepard's eyes widened further. "So Day One after the Reapers are destroyed…"

"I will find you, Commander," Samara confirmed. "And put an end to your reckless endangerment of the public one way or another."

Shepard's jaw actually dropped. She stood and held up her arms to stop the barrage she was under. "Hold on, guys. It reeeeeaally can't be that bad."

Behind her, Shepard heard Grunt…well, grunt.

She turned toward him and he gave her an apologetic shrug in affirmation. "Seriously?" She turned back to the crowd of supposedly loyal friends. "You've even convinced my krogan I raised all by myself think I'm the worst driver in the galaxy? How is he supposed to feel safe when I drop him off at on a planet for a lesson in combat?"

Liara stood next to her. "Love, we will discuss the merit of your being Grunt's 'mother' as you continue to insist upon at another time, but right now, all we want you to realize is that you need help."

Shepard huffed out a deep sigh and plopped back down on the couch. "Fine. There isn't really time for me to take lessons or whatever right now, so…" she sighed again, even groaning somewhat as she said "as soon as this war is finished I will do what it takes, all right?"

Her comrades' eyes shifted from one to the other and finally Vega said "til then Estevan drives, right Lola?"

Shepard waved him away as she answered. "Fine, fine."

Liara let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Shepard."

Shepard rolled her eyes but couldn't help smile at her bondmate. "Anything for you."

"Good, because while we're all here…there is the matter of your sitting behavior while wearing a dress…"