She'll let you in her house

If you come knockin late at night

She'll let you in her mouth

If the words you say are right

If you pay the price

She'll let you deep inside

But theres a secret garden she hides

Edward POV

How had this happened to me? How was I here, sitting with this little fox in the back seat of my car as she babbled away about how she almost got caught by Chief Swan after fucking me for hours in her bedroom the night before.

How the hell had I ended up here? With feelings of this calibre? I could barely look her in the eye without wanting to kiss her, to touch her.

I should have fought this harder but that night after seeing her climb in that mongrels window and that night lying awake thinking about his dick being the first one in her - it nearly fucking killed me.

Bella was mine.

I had sworn off women, but this girl was just impossible to resist. I'd tried, believe me, that virgin card had me promising myself I'd steer clear. Who wanted to be that guy? Not me.

I'd been fooling myself though, it was me. I was that guy - for Bella at least. I'd realised that her virginity, although it wasn't precious to her, was precious to me. I wasn't going to let some other insensitive jerk-off jam into her, awkwardly and roughly.

Thats when I'd decided it had to be me. I hadn't expected that being inside Bella would mean that I would be forever in her debt though, that had taken me by surprise. I loved her. And it was all encompassing, fight for your honour, movie love.

Her little breasts bounced up and down under her thin white top as she laughed, recalling her lame excuses for all the banging as she snuck me out the door and suddenly it was too much, I grabbed her close and kissed her, inhaling her scent as far into my nose as I could without making her laugh. She found it so funny that I sniffed her, but now was not the time for humour.

Tasting her strawberry lip balm nearly sent me over the edge. I was so far gone on this girl. I just wanted her all the time, I wanted her legs around my waist 24 hours a day, and the only reason I didn't was a purely logistical one.

"Can you get away?" I asked into her neck, "like for a night"

She pushed my face back with her hand and her big dark eyes widened, "I bet I could"

I nodded, "I want you all night, I hate this 'you have to go' bullshit"

"I know" she whispered. I levered her mouth open with my chin and found her tongue, that little wet warm piece of heaven. Her eyes fluttered closed and I looked at her, those black eyelashes, the tiny trace of freckles on the bridge of her nose. I loved being face to face with Bella. She was beautiful anyway, but up close - the girl was divine.

Getting to Bella and inside Bella was the main focus of every day and so far we'd been lucky, able to find places and time to be alone. That hill up to the meadow was not easy with a boner, but I would have crawled if it meant getting with her. Her little body was my refuge. Thats how it felt, getting with her, getting inside her was escape from all the other bullshit I had to put up with.

The main source of bullshit was my sisters Rose and Alice. They were on my case all the time, constantly changing the bar they wanted me to jump over and my brother Emmett always feeling the need to prove he was bigger and stronger than me - not a day went by when he would pin me down or punch me. Yeah yeah Emmett I get it - you are a really big muscley guy. Rose never left me alone, always "What are you doing? Where are you going?" Acting like she was my mother. Alice too. Rose was always difficult, Alice could be okay sometimes - but she looked up to Rose and so when Rose was on me Alice was on me too twice as hard.

My actual mother was easier on me than my sisters. Not that Mom and my Dad were easy going. I had yet to make it to bed without a "talk".

Called into their sitting room, the tv would be switched off and I'd hear that dreaded "How are you getting on with things Edward?" come out of my fathers mouth. Then after an hours lecture on what I should be doing to get where I want to go, I'd be given the go ahead for bed.

I'd lie awake, pissed off, at the fact that it was never an issue - never even asked - what I was actually doing and what I actually wanted. It was no different than when I'd been at Sebs. Dad and Mom choosing my subjects, my friends, my fucking life.

I wanted to study art and music but since Emmet was too dumb to study, taking after my father as a doctor was up to me. They chose science subjects for me which meant I hated school. I hated how they spoke to me like I had no clue. The thoughts of being forced in to med school made me want to run away and never come back.

Bella was the only person in the world who really knew what I wanted, even if at the moment the only thing I actually wanted was her.

Her little belly, her throat, her hair, her ankles gripping my hips - she would save me.

Every single piece of her made sense to me. I loved how her hair never lay flat, and her face jerked around when she talked. I loved how the pulse in her neck could be seen clearly, blue and throbbing. I loved the short nails on her fingers, I loved the way her eyelids pulled away from her eyeballs at the corners. This was how deep I was into this chick. I loved the curve of her nose and how her top lip was thinner than the bottom. I loved how she didn't seem to give a shit, but really I knew she did, and I knew she gave a shit about me. I could tell in the way she always wanted to talk about stuff I would do or what I liked. I loved how she couldn't make ten steps without fucking falling or dropping something and I loved her indignance when she did, as if it was the only time it had ever happened to her.

I loved knowing I was the only guy ever to get into her. I was the only one. It would stay that way. I wanted Bella forever.

I loved her for fucks sake.

And now here I was in the back of my car with her again, thanking God for one way windows.

Other students mingled around heading for classes. The thrill of public sex was unbelievable and I couldn't contain myself, but Bella just wanted to kiss me.

It was easier to have a quick fuck, kissing her did something else to me and I found it hard not to slip into this dream state of closeness and bonding.

Holy shit.

It took all my will power not to yell out with the sensations of her eyelashes fluttering on my eyelids. She sat on me, one knee on either side. Her mouth was hot and open and she pulled my lips into hers. Is this tantric? It feels it.

She leaned back, pulling her knees close into my hips. Then she caught my eye and whispered, "Open your eyes" but I couldn't. I flickered my eyes to her face, and her chest as she held my face in her hands and leaned in, eyes open, to put her mouth to my mouth. Suddenly there was no-one around, we were no longer in the car in the parking lot of our school. Instead we were in outer space, spinning through the universe.

Only Bella and I existed. I couldn't take the feelings I was feeling. I closed my eyes.

"Look at me"

And so I forced myself to look at her. The intensity was almost painful. To see her straddling me like that, just totally belonging to me, appreciating me, wanting me just as I was. Not like other girls I had dated, who had tried to make me something I wasn't. Bella was with me. Just me.

My throat constricted and I felt my eyes burn with hot tears. How had this happened? I had never thought I was capable of feelings like these for a girl.

A few months ago I had had nothing, no friends, no school, no solitude from the barrage of interference my parents called concern.

Now I was here, in this secret garden, with everything I ever wanted sitting on my lap, half dressed and kissing me like I'd never been kissed before. She wouldn't let me move, every time I started to pull her in, or try to undress her she would tut tut and force me back against the seat. "Just kiss" She warned.

I took her face in my hands and softly kissed her hot mouth.

We stayed there in the back of the car, ditching classes, for hours kissing or just hugging tight without speaking. Her little face smashed into my neck, my arms wrapped around her, the feeling of her moist breath on my skin.

Heaven.

My phone beeped. Text message. With Bella in my arms, I opened the message without thinking and it was too late, I knew she'd seen it. She stiffened in my arms.

Ed - prom talk.

Need colour co-ord.

ring me. Tanya.

Unlike any other girl I'd ever known though Bella didn't slap my face and demand an explanation. She just moved a fraction of an inch away from my side.

Fuck. Fuck. I could have killed myself for not waiting till later to check my cell.

"Bella" I said, "Its not like she is anything to me, you know, she just asked me ages ago and I wasn't with... well I said I'd go, you know, I mean I can't cancel so close to her prom, right?"

She didn't flinch, she just nodded. It seemed though she was holding her breath though so I tried to kiss her but she turned her face slightly and I only caught her cheek.

"You kinda should have told me though" She said moving further away and suddenly becoming really busy fixing the chain she wore around her neck.

FUCK. Why was this happening now, cool funny sexy Bella was going to morph into every other girl I'd ever gone out with, crazy, jealous, on my case...demanding I do things her way. Just when everything had been so perfect. I braced myself.

"Have you ever... slept with her though?" Bella turned her little face to look me in the eye.

I couldn't lie to her. So I just hung my head and stared at a spot on the back seat.

I felt Bella nod against my shoulder. Then she popped the back door open and swung her feet out onto the tarmac. I grabbed her arm, "Hey!" I said, "What the fuck? What do you want me to do? - Bella!"

She shook my arm away and gave me a hard look. Then she walked around to the passenger side and retrieved her bag without a word. Within seconds she was out of sight.

I went fucking insane in the back of my car.

I banged the shit out of the headliner, punched the seats and argued with myself till I was blue.

This was fucking ridiculous - Jesus I hadn't even got a chance to explain properly. What the fuck was the big deal anyway? I was helping a family friend. I knew that, Tanya fucking knew that. Though before last week I had presumed I'd fuck her at her prom, but not now that I was with Bella.

I was with Bella.

The thoughts of fucking anyone but Bella now was so abhorrent to me I couldn't even imagine it.

I rang Bella's phone over and over. Voicemail every time. Fuck Bella. Leaving me here for no reason.

I sent her a text.

I don't know what

the big fucking

deal is.

Then I started my engine, and with a gaping hole in my insides, I drove home.