Rizzoli & Isles - 65
A/N Christmas, New Year & Birthday out the way back to writing.
Thanks to cjunited for this idea of Maura's thoughts for this chapter.
Sat in her office with the paper work complete, Maura's mind starts to wonder to some of the things Jane had mentioned on their return from their vacation:-
I was so scared seeing her shoot herself, I felt numb.
Would I have been able to cope if things had been worse?
I know I would do anything for her, give up everything for her.
Every time something happens I can't function properly until I know she's safe, until I have her back, until I can see her, hear her, touch her.
The one time we seriously came close to loosing each other was the worst time of my life.
Looking at it now I know my initial reaction was fear both of never knowing who my biological mother was and a worse fear of nearly loosing Jane and it being my fault. It had been my idea, it was my father, my fault she almost died again. Then that fear mutated and I almost lost her again because of that.
Jane has shown me what family really means, she has shown me what love really means.
Jane has given me that family, she has given me that love.
Jane has given me a sense of belonging, a wholeness I never thought I'd find.
Without Jane who would I be?
Without Jane what would I be?
Alone, cold, sad, lonely, empty, nothing.
I love Jane.
I love my life with Jane.
I love who I am with Jane.
I don't know how I would have coped with loosing her before we were lovers.
I know I wouldn't cope with loosing her now we are lovers.
It may be selfish but I can't lose her now.
Maura picks up her phone, sending a simple text, I love you! xx