A/N : I just couldn't resist... ;D
„This is bad, this is really really bad." North groaned while rubbing his temples.
The door to his office was closed but he still could hear it. He was sitting in his chair, elbows resting on the heavy wooden desk and eyes closed in a pitiful assumption to maybe drown the noise by falling into meditation. It didn't work. A splitting headache was already creeping up on him, so sculpting new toy prototypes out of ice wasn't an option in his current condition. He sighed in relief when the acoustic torture stopped, but he knew the silence wouldn't last for long.
Hopefully help would arrive soon.
Just as the thought ran through his mind a small portal formed in the corner of the room and an elf tumbled out of it. The Cossack looked up and waited for someone else to step out of the swirling vortex but it dissolved into thin air, only leaving him and the little pointy-hatted creature behind.
"Haven't you found him? Why didn't he come with you?" he questioned with an irritated but above all tired and exhausted voice.
There was no time for the elf to reply, only a startled squeak escaped its throat when it almost fell into a hole which had appeared out of nowhere in the floor and it barely managed to jump into safety. Two large furry ears poked out before the rest of the eagerly-awaited visitor followed.
"What's up, North, I have no idea what the little bugger was sayin' but it sounded urgent." Bunnymund inquired and crossed his arms.
The big man sighed deeply and leaned back in his chair for a moment as if he needed to gain strenght for the following discussion. Only now Bunny paid enough attention to notice how worn out he looked. Mild worry sparked in him.
"What's the matter?"
"Jack."
"I should have known. What did he do this time?"
Right on cue the music started again, causing the pooka to wince as the loud sound reached his sensitive ears. He had heard it somewhere before.
"Ever since Jack has read Treasure Island he got very interested in pirate related things. Last week he sneaked into a movie theatre and watched a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon...all four movies. I don't know where he found it but he showed up with the soundtrack and digged out a CD-player from one of the storage rooms and...it ' !"
Now Bunny recognized the music. It was the theme of that pirates movie, set on continuous loop. And it was of high volume.
"Alright, I see how that's kind of disturbin'. How long has it been goin' on?"
"Three days."
"Ouch."
"You say it, old friend."
"Why don't ya just take that CD-player away from him?"
"I tried. Yetis tried. Even elves tried. It's a portable one so we would first need to catch Jack. What is kind of diffcult when you can't fly like him."
"I see. But the batteries need to be changed now and then so..."
"Has no use. He has a secret storage somewhere it seems and when he is fed up with the blasted theme he starts to sing himself." the Guardian of Wonder explained and went on to massage his temples.
"I almost don't dare ta ask, but what is he-"
Once again the winter spirit must have heard them because all of a sudden the music stopped and both guardians stood and sat there frozen in anticipation about what would happen next. Then the singing started and the whole situation was so bizarre Bunny almost let out a laugh.
"We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!"
Okay, Jack's performance didn't sound that bad but he wouldn't win a grammy with it either. It was amazing with how much fervor he sung it, though.
"We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Maraud and embezzle, and even highjack
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me."
Bunny chuckled. North didn't.
"I gotta ask, why'd ya call me here? Ya want me to bind and gag him?" the Easter spirit asked rhetorically but the look on his comrade's face told him he was actually considering it.
"If nothing else works..."
"Uh, North, ya know I can't fly either. And Frostbite is fast like hell."
"Faster than you?" the Russian raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge.
"Ohh, I know what ye're tryin' mate, question the rabbit's abilities so he'll give in an get rid of the icy nuisance, but that ain't gonna work...By the way, why didn't ya call Tooth or Sandy for help?"
"They're busy with their jobs."
"And ya think I'm not?!" Bunnymund shouted out, suddenly feeling very insulted.
"Well, Tooth and Sandy have to work around the clock. It's in the middle of summer now so you still have plenty of time until next Easter."
"Yeah, but still, I have ta follow a schedule. Creatin' new egg designs and preparin' everything which is important doesn't happen overnight. Ya don't go on holiday either when Christmas is over but start working on new toys right afterwards as well." the Australian rabbit vindicated himself and crossed his arms again.
"Alright, you got point." North let out a deep sigh and leaned his head in his beefy hands.
He really wasn't in the mood for arguing with the Guardian of Hope right now. Bunny sensed his friend's growing frustration and rolled his eyes as he made up his mind.
"Okay, what d'ya want me ta do?" he asked eventually.
The Russian Santa looked up as if he didn't trust his ears and a glimmer of hope shone in his tired blue eyes while Jack continued to repeat the pirate song somewhere in the workshop.
"I don't know. Get him out of here. Take him with you. Convince him of doing something else. Threaten him. Binding and gagging should be last option." North suggested with disturbing seriousness.
"Woa, so ya want me ta take him ta the Warren so he can get on my nerves instead?"
"I would like that."
"Yeah, I can imagine." the pooka muttered and turned on his heel.
"Where are you going?" North called out, worried his comrade would vanish in a hole in the ground any moment and leave him alone with his problem.
"Solving yer issue with Frostbite." Bunny stated matter-of-factly.
As soon as he opened the door the volume of the noise increased, causing the Guardian of Wonder to sink lower in his chair and protect his ears with his hands. The anthropomorphic rabbit cringed as well, his ears really weren't made for piercing sounds like this. He quickly closed the door behind him and followed the ecstatic singing. With every step it got louder and he was sure he was close to finding the source of it. Green eyes glanced back and forth, from left to right, nothing. But the loud voice was a clear sign that the snowy brat had to be here. That's when he looked up and saw Jack romping about between the rafters, fidgeting with his staff as if it was a sword. Probably re-enacting a scene from those movies, he assumed.
"We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me."
"Hey, Jack." the furry guardian called out and the singing stopped as sapphire blue eyes glanced at him.
"It's Captain Jack!" the frost teen shouted and pointed his staff at the intruder.
"Al-right. So where's yer ship, Captain?" Bunny decided to play along.
"I'm in the market, as it were." Jack retorted.
"How? By wakin' the dead with yer howlin'?"
"You just have no taste in music, kangaroo."
"That's no music, that's acoustic mutilation."
"It's a classic."
"It may be a classic but it sounds horrible."
"Then you better leave because I won't stop anytime soon." the Guardian of Fun grinned wickedly and pulled the CD-player out of his hoodie-pocket.
Before Bunnymund could voice his protest the vibrating beats of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' theme were penetrating the workshop once more. Not even a minute of talking to the icy troublemaker and he already had enough of his antics.
"Okay, that's it, get yer ass down from there and switch that damn thing off!"
"Did you say something? I'm sorry, can't heeaar yoouuu." Jack responded, ending the words in a higher voice than usual as he reclined against the wall which was connected to the rafter he was sitting on.
Long furry ears set back, eyes narrowed and fists balled for a moment before Bunny grabbed one of his boomerangs and used the white-haired boy's inattentiveness so throw it at him. Jack had his eyes closed and was too absorbed in the music to notice the weapon dashing towards him. He yelled in shock and pain as his hand was hit and the player was knocked out of his grasp. But the triumphant grin on the pooka's face was short-lived when the winter spirit reacted in the fraction of a second and flew after the falling object, catching it before it could crash onto the ground.
"Phew, that was close. North wouldn't be happy about you destroying his property." Jack stated, floating in mid-air and glaring daggers at the Aussie.
"He's not happy about ya abusin' it either." Bunnymund shot back.
"I'm just borrowing it."
"No, ye're turnin' it into a torture device!"
"Oh bohoo, you really don't recognize good music when you hear it."
"Aww, ya feel offended now?"
"Hah, you wish!" the teen laughed and turned the volume even higher.
By now the sound intensity hurt his own ears as well, but judging from Bunny's pained expression he was suffering a lot more, so it was definitely worth it.
"Ya just signed yer own death warrant!" the anthropomorphic rabbit growled and grabbed his boomerangs again.
This time Jack was prepared for the assault and skillfully dodged every single one of them while shooting his half-crooked grin at the older guardian as if evading the missiles didn't take any effort.
"Ya bloody show pony! Get down here!"
"Why should I?"
"'Cause I'm gonna shoot ya out of the air if ya don't comply!"
"Well, your attempts haven't been that successful so far." Jack mocked.
Once again a boomerang was aimed at him but he was fast enough to avoid being hit. Another one followed right away but he was too sidetracked with dodging it that he didn't notice the first boomerang coming back and smashing into his back. A startled scream left his mouth as he tumbled down several feet, firmly grabbing his staff in one and the CD-player in the other hand, before getting himself back under control. However, this time he wasn't fast enough since his descent towards the ground had brought him within Bunny's range. Just when he was in the act of flying up to the rafter again a furry paw grasped his ankle and pulled him down.
"Hey, what-"
"Gotcha, mate!" Bunnymund grinned devilishly.
"You think so?" Jack mirrored his expression and aimed his staff at him.
Compared to the force his attacks usually possessed it was just a harmless bolt of ice he shot at the pooka, but it was strong enough to half freeze his paw. Jack didn't intend to hurt him, he only wanted to make him let go. Which he succeeded at. The moment the ice touched him Bunny gave a howl of utter discomfort and released his death grip on the frost teen's ankle in case he would decide to totally freeze his hand off.
"Crickey, ya little-"
He glared up at the winter spirit who landed gracefully on the rafter, laughing like crazy before bowing slightly.
"You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack!"
With that he bid goodbye and in the blink of an eye he was gone, though the deafening theme of 'Pirates of the Caribbean' still rattled the workshop.
The Easter Bunny groaned in frustration, defeat and a good portion of anger. Whatever, this was North's problem. He had done what he could. The big man had to deal with it on his own. Or just move to the South Pole until Jack got fed up with that freaking soundtrack. His long ears were hurting like mad from the noise, he had to get out of there.
Tapping one of his big furry feet on the ground a hole appeared and he took a moment to glance at the door to North's office where said guardian had just come out to see how it was going. Bunny only shrugged and mumbled an almost inaudible "Sorry, mate." before jumping into the hole and vanishing out of sight. The last sound that reached his ears was a low desperate groan and he briefly wondered how it could be heard among that ridiculously loud music. He just hoped it all would be back to normal by the time the next guardian meeting took place...
A/N : Great Jack, now you're on top of the Naughty List again. :P