A/N: Vivi here! Glad to hear that you guys are still enjoying this story. I love the reviews and comments. I managed to get to a computer to post this before my hiatus, so I hope you enjoy!
I opened my eyes and glared at the ceiling. My chest hurt. My leg hurt. My side hurt. Grumpy, I sat up and stretched gently, pushing the covers off of me. Sunlight was leaking into the bedroom around the soft gray curtains. I looked down, expecting to see my normal plaid sheets but instead saw dark gray ones, with a quilted comforter. Looking up, I saw that the walls were light blue, the floor a gorgeous, darkly stained hardwood. Standing, I walked out the door and down the hall. This place seemed familiar, yet so foreign. There was a bathroom, all decorated in gray and yellow and white. An empty room, with painting supplies and drop cloths strewn about the floor and bare sheetrock on the walls. Carpeted stairs with the same color stain on the railings as was on the floor in the bedroom.
A soft noise met my ears and I turned to listen more closely. Someone was crying. Following the noise, I passed a wall of pictures featuring a happy family, or nature scenes, or cityscapes. They looked professionally done, but I didn't have time to look closely. The noise was getting louder.
I paused outside a door and heard the muffled cries from within. Pushing gently, the door opened and swung wide, revealing a stunning, baby blue nursery. There were little elephants and hippos on the walls, a beautiful, antique rocking chair in the corner, a plush, pale yellow rug on the floor that covered the same hardwood that I had seen in the bedroom, and a crib against the far wall with a mobile of little fish above it.
The cries got louder, drawing me nearer to the crib. I walked over the rug and realized I was barefoot; looking down, there were no scars on my feet. I lifted the side of the big t-shirt I was wearing and couldn't find the binding mark scar that should have been there. What had Francesca done to me?
Cries quickly became frustrated screams and I peered over the edge of the crib. A set of stunning blue eyes, wet with tears, looked back up at me and the wailing stopped. I reached down and picked up the infant, dressed in a soft white onesie, and patted his back. Tears sprang to my own eyes; the shade of his hair, not dark enough to be brown but not light enough to be blond, helped me realize where I was.
"Allison?" A voice gasped from the doorway. I whipped around to see the love of my life, his hair perfectly matching that of the boy I held.
"Mark?" I breathed, unable to move. He rushed to me and engulfed me in a hug big enough for the baby and me.
"Ali, what happened?" He asked after a few minutes of just holding each other.
"I don't remember it all." I said softly. "Is this Heaven?"
Mark nodded and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. His eyes were tearing up and my tears had already begun to fall. "I see you've already met our son." He smiled and patted the baby on the back. The little guy had been silent since I picked him up.
"Kole got so big." That was the only thing I could say.
Mark smiled and looked down at him. "Yeah, he's growing like a weed. The angels tell me he'll grow until he can talk, at least. They let him stay in my Heaven."
"Your Heaven?" I asked, rubbing Kole's back and savoring every moment.
"Yeah, up here everyone has their own. No one to bother you unless you want them to. Kole was actually here when I got here. An angel named Gabriel was holding him on the porch and I arrived on the street, I guess. He said he took a shine to the kid. He stops in every once in a while and we have coffee and chat. Apparently he knows one of your friends?" Mark said.
"Cas, maybe?" I guessed.
"Sounds like we have a lot to catch up on. Let me make you some hot chocolate. Everything tastes amazing here." Mark led the way downstairs to a sizable corner kitchen, just off the entry hall. There was a breakfast nook, where I sat to look out the bay window above it. At least five pots with all different types of plants were growing in the window, but I could see that we were in a little neighborhood.
"Is this the house we were looking to buy when I finished school?" I asked. The breakfast nook and window jogged my memory.
"Yeah, took you long enough to recognize it." Mark set a mug in front of me and sat down opposite me with his own. "Gabe told me a few things, by the way. Like why you had black eyes the last time I saw you. And Allison, it wasn't your fault. I have no hard feelings about it. You were an unwilling victim." He reached across the table and pulled my hand away from the mug where it rested. We held hands for a few minutes as he waited for the silent sobs to stop.
"I'm sorry, Mark." I gasped. "I couldn't stop her… I wasn't strong enough…"
"Allison, let it go. It's over now." He said. Oh, how I'd missed his soothing voice.
"But she got me again, Mark." I sobbed. Kole started fussing on my shoulder and I calmed quickly to keep him from crying. "And I think I killed her, but I guess I killed myself too."
"Why don't you start from the beginning- well, after you left our apartment, anyway. I know everything up until that point." Mark said. So I told him about Cas and the barn, when the demon partially left me and Cas took me to the bunker. I told him about Sam and Dean and their lives and how I crashed their party. Mark wasn't happy when I told him I lived with the demon for five months but he smiled when I said they got it out. It was hard for me to tell my late husband about the harmful things I did to myself with that demon still around, and the stupid things I did when it was gone. By the end of my monologue, he was looking into his cup pensively and nodding.
"I'm proud of you." He said when he finally looked up. There was no humor or joking in his eyes. I was surprised. I thought he may have been upset with how close I was to the guys or how I'd tried to avoid telling them about he and Kole.
"For what? Almost killing myself several times and then actually doing it?" I snorted as I caressed Kole's baby soft arms. He was amazing. I had to memorize every feature of my long lost baby.
"No, silly. For protecting the people you love no matter the cost. It must have nearly killed you to live through what you lived through. I'm proud of you for not giving up and choosing to fight every day. And you overpowered that stinkin' demon, which is pretty epic." Mark smiled and sipped his coffee. "And you say you stole a police cruiser and ran it into a tree?"
"Yeah, that's the last thing I remember." I shrugged. "The officer wasn't too happy when I floored it." I felt a smile creep on to my lips to match Mark's.
"That's some video game level stuff, right there." Mark smiled and shook his head. "And you killed the demon on impact?"
"Well, I learned a binding spell from an old book that was supposed to hold her inside me and I was hoping that when I died in the crash she would be killed too." I looked down at my nearly empty mug. "I don't know if she actually died or not though."
Mark was quiet for a few minutes. "Allison, there are a few things I've been wanting to tell you. Things I wished I had said when we were together."
"Shoot." I said casually.
"I was proud to be your husband. You are strong and talented and brilliant and everything I've ever wanted in a companion. You saw my weaknesses and made me better for them. Did you notice the herbs I'm growing?" He pointed to the bay window. "You taught me how to do that. And Kole is growing like a weed, aren't you buddy?"
Kole lifted his head at his name and looked around. I moved him to the crook of my arm so he could see us both. He smiled a little and started blowing spit bubbles. "He's gotten so big." I said.
"Because we did those baby classes, remember? Just because we're in Heaven doesn't make it easy. Allison, you are an amazing mother. You always will be. And I know you can be strong for the ones you love, but I want you to remember something. If you only remember one thing from today, let it be this: be strong for yourself too. You're so worth the effort. I know it's hard, but you have done much harder." He came to sit next to me in the booth and played with my hair. "Allison Melissa Ligan, I love you."
"And I love you, Markus Robert Ligan." I sighed, remembering all the times we would just sit and enjoy the company. "I've missed you."
He smiled weakly and took a deep breath. "I want you to be happy, Ali. Will you do me a solid?"
"What is it?" I asked, thinking he'd ask me to help him paint that unfinished room upstairs or something.
"Let people into your life. Not just the surface, but deeply. Connect to someone on a level like you connected with me. Find someone who makes you happy and gets that cute gut laugh out of you." He smiled and chuckled to himself. I hadn't gut laughed in months; it wasn't pretty, but it was so satisfying. "Stop dreaming about Kole and I, Ali. I can see that it's hurting you and it's not doing us any good. Now I'm not saying forget about us, but don't let the only time you think about us be in nightmares. Tell those guys about the dreams if it'll help. They seem like stand up guys."
"They are." I said faintly. "Mark, I'm dead. Why are you telling me this?" I asked.
He smiled sadly and curled my hair around his finger. "Gabe stopped by before I found you and said you were only visiting. He said this happens sometimes and it's hard for the angels to stop it, so they let it happen. Apparently souls just pop into their closest loved ones' Heaven for a little while because they aren't really dead and can't get their own yet. You're going home, Ali."
"I am home. I can't lose you again, Mark." I said, my chest clenching up and a new pain radiating through it. "I can't."
"Allison, you aren't losing me. I'll see you someday when you naturally make your way up here again. I asked Gabe to let me know when you arrive. I'll go visit your Heaven; he said he'd arrange it." Mark smiled.
"We won't have the same Heaven?" I asked.
"Almost nobody has the same Heaven, love." Mark shook his head. "But I've got an inside angel who can help us hook up." He winked at me.
"But I don't wanna go back." I said softly, rubbing Kole's back and enjoying every moment of my baby.
"From my experience, doing the right thing is rarely fun." Mark said, pulling my chin towards his. He kissed me and it felt like a breath of fresh air or seeing the sun for the first time in months. "But it's the right thing to do. And that's why we do it. Those guys seem like they could really benefit from having a bombshell like you on their side." He smiled at me.
"Mark…" I felt hot tears start to form once again in my eyes.
"You're an amazing mother, a brilliant woman, and a true friend, my love. Go help the world see brighter days." He coaxed Kole into his arms and left me holding just his tiny hand. Kole pouted, but Mark kissed me hard and I let it take me over. I had to memorize how his lips curved to match mine, how soft and warm they were, how I never wanted to leave them…
A/N: Review please!