Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did.
Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 33: Yakuza vs. Viet Cong
Redemption Match!
Narrator:
Yakuza; cruel warlords of Japan's underworld. Last time, the gang failed to prevent an IRA attack on their turf, and paid the ultimate price for their failure.
(We see the Yakuza leader get blown up by and IRA nail bomb).
Narrator:
Viet Cong; the rag-tag guerilla force that took the American military head on, and one the Vietnam War. But last time, the Viet Cong were unable to stop a squad of Cartel members from setting up shop.
(We see the leader of the Cartel group blow up the Viet Cong with a car bomb).
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Yakuza:
Height - 5' 6"
Weight - 150 LBS
Armor - None
Gear - 10 LBS
Viet Cong:
Height: 5' 4"
Weight: 120 LBS
Reign of Terror: 1954 - 1976
Allegiance: Ho Chi Minh
Narrator: Here at the Fight Club, we take five weapons used by the best of Japan's underworld, the Yakuza:
Sten Gun
Ceramic Grenade
Walther P38
Nunchakus
Sai
Narrator: and see how they match up against the weapons used by the fearsome guerilla force; the Viet Cong:
MAT-49N
POMZ-2
Tokarev-TT33
Punji Stakes
Bayonet
Narrative: For our first test, our two teams will start off guns a blazing; as we test out their primary firearms: The Yakuza Sten Gun against the Viet Cong MAT-49N.
Max: I don't know guys, these are both pretty good war guns.
Geoff: That's true. Both are capable of some pretty heavy firepower, and both have some great accuracy.
Max: Actually, I think the MAT might be a little more accurate. And if that's the case, that might be what's needed to close up this edge.
Dr. Dorian: I'd have to agree. It's close, but I have to give the edge to the MAT.
Edge: Viet Cong
Narrative: For our second test, things get interesting as our two teams try to blow one another away with their explosive weapons: The Cong's POMZ-2 grenade trap, and the Yakuza's Ceramic Grenade.
Dr. Dorian: While the POMZ is certainly lethal, the odds are good that it'll only kill one person. The Ceramic Grenade is much more likely to do a wider area of damage.
Geoff: Let's not forget, that once the POMZ is set, it can't be moved again. The Ceramic Grenade has it for sheer mobility.
Max: Then it looks like we're all in agreement. The Explosive edge goes to the Ceramic Grenade.
Edge: Yakuza
Narrative: Now for the third test, where our warriors will draw their guns, and see just who has the better secondary firearm: The Yakuza Walther P38 or the Viet Cong Tokarev-TT33.
Geoff: These weapons are pretty similar.
Max: I don't know, I think the Tokarev might be a little better.
Dr. Dorian: Any minor differences can usually be attributed to the individual wielding the gun. For these reasons, I vote we call the first test a draw.
Geoff: I second that.
Max: Then it's official.
Edge: Tie
Narrative: Next comes the fourth test, where we test out some close range weapons: The Cong Bayonet against the Yakuza Sai.
Geoff: While the Bayonet has the advantage of being attached to a gun, other then that, it's just a knife.
Dr. Dorian: The Sai on the other hand, has several uses. It is a very versatile weapon. It can be used for both attacking and defending.
Max: For those reasons, I say that the close range edge goes to the Sai.
Edge: Yakuza
Narrative: For the last test, we test out some random weapons, while talking about an X factor.
The Yakuza are masters of precisions and controlled strikes. This is symbolized through their weapon: The Nunchakus.
The Viet Cong are masters of guerilla tactics and traps. This is symbolized through their weapon: Punji Stakes.
Max: Comparably, the Punji Stakes seem more deadly then the Nunchakus. While the Nunchakus are mobile, they are not as inherently deadly as the Stakes.
Geoff: That said, I have to give this to the Stakes. They come in two different types, and are a sure kill. Edge to the Punji Stakes.
Edge: Viet Cong
Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two very different opponents? The Yakuza, who fight for money and power? Or the Cong, who fight to repel all invaders from their country?
Primary Firearm Edge: Viet Cong MAT-49N
Explosive Weapon Edge: Yakuza Ceramic Grenade
Secondary Firearm Edge: Tie between Walther and Tokarev
X Factor Edge: Viet Cong Punji Stakes
Close Range Edge: Yakuza Sai
It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.
The fight opens up on the forest of Vietnam. In a small clearing, a group of five Viet Cong rest after a hard day. But unbeknownst to them, the camp is being surrounded by Yakuza. The Yakuza want to clear out the Viet Cong, so that they can set up their own operations there.
As two Yakuza approach the leader's tent from behind, one of the Yakuza steps on a small hidden wire. The crackling of branches alters his companion, who tries to call out to his unweary friend. But it's too late. A large heavy Punji ball swings down and hits him right in the head, impaling him in the face and killing him instantly.
Sadly, the sound of the ball also alerts the tents occupants, who rush out to see what caused the commotion, guns drawn. Seeing the two Yakuza, and recognizing them as unfriendly, raise their MATs to fire. The Yakuza though is just a bit faster, and fires with his own Sten gun to hit the closest Cong in the chest, toppling him, before turning and running back into the woods.
Yakuza: 4
Viet Cong: 4
Seeing the commotion, a Yakuza from the other side of the small camp steps into view with a Ceramic grenade, and tosses it at the clustered Cong. The Cong cell leader sees him, and shoots him with the Tokarev, but not before the grenade lands near his men. He calls out a warning to duck and cover; but the bomb explodes, sending two Cong flying.
As the dust settles, the Cong leader quickly checks his men. The first is fine, just a little dazed with blood coming out his ear. The other, sadly, is dead, shrapnel littering his body. Hearing groaning behind them, the Cong turns to see that the shot had not yet killed the Yakuza. Frowning, the leader empties the rest of his clip into the Yakuza's chest in anger, finishing him.
Yakuza: 3
Viet Cong: 3
Meanwhile in the woods, one Viet Cong has caught up with a slower Yakuza. The Yakuza draws his Sai, and steps in close to the Cong, making it to hard to hit him with a shot. But the Cong has equipped his gun with a Bayonet, and stabs at the Yakuza, sticking him deep in the side. The Yakuza grunts in pain, and slices back at the Cong, leaving a deep gash across his chest.
The Cong stabs downward, then fires, taking out the Yakuza's limb. The Yakuza screams in pain, and buries his Sai deep into the Cong's throat in retaliation. With one last gurgling cry, the Viet Cong falls backwards, dead.
Yakuza: 3
Viet Cong: 2
Sadly for him, the sound of their battle has attracted another Viet Cong. With his leg badly injured, he is in no shape to outrun or dodge the bullets from the Cong's MAT-49.
Yakuza: 2
Viet Cong: 2
Elsewhere, another Yakuza makes his move. He'd played a mean game of cat and mouse with the Viet Cong, and gotten him to empty his MAT magazine. When he went to reload, he leapt from his hiding place and smacked the Cong across the face with his Nunchakus.
The Cong reeled back, but the Yakuza struck him again and again, breaking his nose, his jaw and his chin. But before he could deliver the finishing blow, another Cong charged through the brambles and started firing his Tokarev. The Yakuza turned on his heel and fled, the Cong in hot pursuit.
The beaten and bruised Cong picks himself up and spits out some loose teeth. He refills his gun and prepares to chase after the bastard who'd put him in this condition.
Then a shot rings through the air, and the Cong falls face down in the mud. A Yakuza peaks out from behind a tree, and blows the smoke from his Walther.
Yakuza: 2
Viet Cong: 1
The Yakuza leaps over logs and runs through streams, but still the Cong chases after him. The Cong has managed to hit him in the shoulder with his Tokarev, leaving a wound that makes it even harder for him to shoot back.
Finally, the chase comes to an end as the Yakuza turns and fires a shot with his Walther that goes wide and misses the Cong completely. But while he's not looking, the Yakuza trips a POMZ-2, and get his legs blown right out from under him.
Yakuza: 1
Viet Cong: 1
Taking a moment to catch his breath, the Viet Cong begins stalking the forest for more prey. As he passes a tree, the bark besides him explodes as the last remaining Yakuza opens fire at him. Ducking for cover the Viet Cong does the same. Soon, both are out of ammo.
As the two hear their opponents guns click empty, the Viet Cong stands up, and pulls out his Bayonet-ed MAT. The gun is empty, but he feels the knife will do the job. At the same time, the Yakuza throws down his Walther, and removes the two Sai he had hidden behind his back.
The two circle each other like tigers, each waiting for the other to make a mistake, each waiting for the opportune moment to strike the other dead.
They charge, the Yakuza's longer reach letting him land some good blows on the Cong's torso, but they only add up to scratches. The Cong stabs with his Bayonet, but misses. The Yakuza tries to stab the slightly shorter man through the eye, but the Cong ducks, and stabs upwards in retaliation, leaving a mark that will no doubt scar across the Yakuza's cheek.
The Yakuza sticks the Cong in the shoulder, but gets a kick to the stomach in return. At this point it nearly descends into rabid wrestling, even as the Viet Cong spots something out of the corner of his eye. The two punch and kick and stab each other like vicious animals.
Finally, with a massive heave, the Viet Cong shoves the Yakuza off him, and sends him stumbling back. But as the Yakuza places his foot back to steady himself, he finds the ground unstable, and falls backwards… directly into a Punji Stake pit.
The Viet Cong approaches cautiously, but there is no need. It's clear from the moment he looks down that the battle is over. Tossing down his weapon, the Viet Cong raises his hands up and screams in victory!
Winner: Viet Cong
Viet Cong: 514
MAT-49N: 250
Punji Stakes: 111
Tokarev-TT33: 73
POMZ-2: 50
Bayonet: 30
Yakuza: 486
Sten Gun: 240
Ceramic Grenade: 99
Walther P38: 62
Sai: 60
Nunchakus: 25
Narrator: In this climatic battle of two of histories most vicious gun wielders, it was the Viet Cong who toppled the mightily Yakuza. And it's not hard to see why; with their MAT-49N and Punji traps both scoring in the triple digits.
Dr. Dorian: While the Yakuza may be able to get the job done quickly and with great accurately, the Viet Cong are simply craftier. They lay traps, they attack in ambushes… the Yakuza just couldn't overcome their opponents tactics.
We see the Viet Cong meet up with some others. He reports the casualties, as well as the victory. While the dead are mourned, they are all glad to have once again repelled invaders from their land.
The End.