When Pain Doesn't Hurt Chapter 35
I don't own these characters; at least the main ones.
Olivia knew it wasn't normal procedure for her to be let in to see Elliot this soon; it was all Mary's doing. Mary nodded to the team of nurses that were attending to Elliot. They stepped back allowing Olivia room to slide into the small space beside Elliot's bedside. Olivia glanced at Mary who encouraged her to talk to him.
The sight of her strong, invincible partner made breathing hard for Olivia. His eyes were closed and his face pale. He had tubes and wires coming from everywhere. The sounds coming from various monitoring machines made Olivia nervous as her eyes traveled his form lying so still. She carefully placed her hand on the side of his face that was open to her. He felt cool which surprised her.
"Talk to him." Mary whispered with tears in her own eyes.
Olivia was afraid to speak; not trusting her voice. She knew she couldn't break down in front of him; he needed her to be stronger than ever right now. She leaned in close and spoke to him as softly as she could manage. Mary left her side as to give them some privacy.
"El. I'm so sorry, El." she cursed herself hearing her voice crack. "Please fight with me, El. I need you. Your kids need you." she stopped to get her breathing controlled. "I love you. I love you and I need you. Please El. Please fight."
Olivia wiped the tear from his face that had fallen from hers. He didn't move, didn't seem to hear her. She knew she had heard him when their positions were reversed, so she kept talking to him.
"It looks like Fin is going to be okay. That's good news, El." she took a moment and wiped her face. "John's a hero. Figures huh? The rookie gets the collar." Olivia tried to smile, but couldn't. "He's a good, smart cop."
Olivia felt Mary's hands on her back and she knew her time was up. "El, I'm not leaving. Okay, I'll be here." she leaned in and carefully and gently put her lips to his. Mary guided her out into the hallway. She quickly hugged Olivia while she cried.
"You did good." Mary helped her remove the paper gown. "I'm sure he heard you."
"Thank you. For everything…just thank you." Olivia wondered what caused Mary to be taken with her the way she was. She didn't care. Mary was the angel that Olivia needed these last few months.
"I'll get you back to him as soon as I can. I fought to make sure he's my patient." Mary winked at her. Olivia was glad to hear that. She headed to the waiting room where she saw John being questioned by the suits. He looked exhausted. He looked up when he noticed her and she met his glance. She owed this man her life, no doubt. There was no way he would run with the 'hero' title, not his character. She returned to the chair she had vacated a while ago and all but collapsed. John finished up and joined her. She smiled at him and he did the same. "Any news?"
"I got to see him." Olivia shook her head and gave up on her losing battle with the tears. John didn't hesitate as he pulled her into a tight embrace, encouraging her to let it go. And she did. She cried for what seemed like forever, hidden in her partner's strong arms.
Mary checked Elliot's vitals every fifteen minutes. She shook her head as she recorded the information on his chart. She has seen many officers come in through the ICU during her career. She admired and respected them for what they stood for and the evil they were fighting. She couldn't help but wonder if it was even worth it.
"Oh, Detective Stabler." Mary talked to him even though he showed no signs of consciousness. "You know you're putting that partner of yours through hell." Mary sighed as she squeezed his hand. "It's hard enough to fight the evil in the city, but then you have to fight against your own people as well. What is this world coming to?"
Elliot's monitors were beeping steadily and that alone was a good sign. Mary thought back to when Olivia was placed in her care after her surgery. Just another of NY's finest shot in the line of duty. She felt bad for thinking it, but she really didn't think Olivia would pull through. She had the same feeling now, but refused to give up; at least until he did.
Cragen stood when the doctor entered the waiting room. The handful of detectives that were still milling around all waited patiently for what they hoped was good news. Olivia was on her feet and falling in behind Cragen immediately.
"Detective Stabler is out of surgery, and has been moved to ICU. He is touch and go at this point. The amount of blood he lost was substantial. We removed the bullet from his abdomen." The doctor looked from Cragen to Olivia and then to John who had joined them. "It wasn't a through and through and the bullet was resting along his spine. There was significant swelling on the spinal column. The extent of the damage is unclear at this time."
"Do you mean he could be paralyzed?" Olivia startled herself as she spoke.
"Right now we worry about him surviving the surgery. I'm going to be honest, Detectives. It doesn't look good. I know you want to see him and maybe that'll help him as well."
Olivia was down the hall before Cragen could suggest for her to go. "Let's go get some coffee and I want the play by play from you. No suits, no formalities. I want to know what the hell was going on between Gomes and Benson that led to all of this." Cragen looked John in the eyes.
"Yes sir." John followed his superior officer feeling a odd sense of relief.
Mary met Olivia at the door to Elliot's room. "There's been no change, but that's okay right now." she tried to warn, yet prepare her.
Olivia simply shook her head and followed Mary in. Elliot had been moved to a private room that was dark and quiet, minus the machines. She quickly was by Elliot's side reaching for his hand. Mary noticed she looked a bit better, although the circles under her eyes were prominent.
"I'm back, El. You're doing good." Olivia let her fingers rest on his forehead as she leaned in close to his face. "You're going to make it, El. I know it, I feel it."
Mary watched the two detectives for a few moments before leaving the room. How she hoped Elliot did pull through, for his sake, and for Olivia's.
Cragen leaned back in his uncomfortable chair in the hospital cafeteria. It was practically deserted as it was just past three in the morning by this time. John started from the beginning; that being the incident in the warehouse. Cragen listened carefully, knowing some of what John was telling him, surprised at some other things he said.
"I had no doubt that Gomes was going to shoot her in the head." John had gotten through the entire scene at the bar. "He had nothing to lose at that point."
"How did he know you all were going there?" Cragen seemed disturbed.
"I don't know, sir." John shook his head.
"Why don't you go on home, get some rest. You deserve it, Detective. You did good tonight."
"I'd rather stay here, in case Olivia needs me." John gave Cragen a look that said he would probably disobey his order if it was in fact an order.
"Okay." Cragen was still amazed at his loyalty. "What about your wife, have you spoken with her lately?"
"I have, but I'll call her again." It was clear to Cragen that John's feelings for Olivia were in no way misplaced. He was young, yet he was professional.
"You do that. Olivia will probably be in with Elliot for as long as they'll let her. How about you and I go check in on Fin." Cragen stood and stretched prompting John to do the same.
Cragen walked out of the cafeteria giving John some privacy to call his wife. He rubbed his forehead as he recalled all that John had told him about Gomes. He had had some strong, tough detectives under his command throughout the years. Elliot and Olivia were no doubt two of the toughest, but even so there was only so much any one person could take. Olivia was built of something indestructible, but she was only human. He wondered how much longer he would do this job. It was definitely taking it's toll on him as he aged.
Mary checked in on Elliot every fifteen minutes. Olivia held her breath each time hoping she wouldn't throw her out. Mary went about her business as if Olivia wasn't present except for a comforting smile as she left each time.
Morning had come and Mary made what was to be her final rounds of her shift. She quietly entered Elliot's room as she had each time previous. The sun was beginning to lighten the room a bit as morning had arrived. Olivia had fallen asleep with her head on Elliot's shoulder and her hand firmly grasping his. Mary couldn't help but notice how peaceful she looked, if not for the awkward position.
"She'll be complaining about her back when she wakes up." Elliot's weak whisper made Mary's heart jump. He kept his eyes closed, until Mary approached the other side of his bed.
"Well, good morning, Detective Stabler. It seems you made it through the night." Mary began her routine checks. "I'm going to get the doctor in right away."
"Give her a few more minutes before calling them in." Elliot pleaded with Mary.
"She'll be thrilled to see you're awake." Mary protested knowing she would honor his request.
Elliot forced a smile, but felt entirely too weak to move. He closed his eyes again listening to Olivia's soft breathing.
Mary finished her vitals and headed to the door. She glanced back at her two favorite patients and was filled with so much hope. Maybe, just maybe another one survived.