100 days of Mother/Earthbound

035: Storm

Fassad had prepared vastly... thunder tower had just been constructed in Murazaki Forest, and he had just started to get the point across that Happy Boxes make you... happy.

Fassad walked to the centre of the town, on the new pavilion where the well once stood.

"Everyone, here! Announcement time!"

The villagers gathered round, and Fassad began his speech.

"Everyone... I have just found out, by my cognitive abilities, that thunder will soon rain down upon all who are not happy... that includes those who say they're happy, but can't be, due to not having a happy box... and what's more, I hear that strange creatures are being formed in the bowels of Mother Nature... called..." Fassad paused and acted as if he was tapping into the future, "...Slitherhens... and Muttshrooms... yes, these are the ones. If you do not accept them and be kind to them, then Mother Nature may get... angry... and hurt you. And I do not wish harm among any of us... oh, lo and behold, what a perilous future lies ahead! But we can be safe... if we are happy... okay, that's all, folks. Any questions?"

"Yeah..." Nan said, "Where's the cute monkey you had the first time you were with us?"

"Um..." Fassad paused to think up a lie, "Oh... the horror... I saw, my lovely little Salsa... ripped to pieces... by a Drago... oh... oh... how I wish karma will attack it... but I shall wish for any harm to come to it through me, for I know no hate... oh, Salsa..." Fassad then began a mock cry.

"Oh... I'm sorry I asked..."

"It's okay... it makes me happy knowing that I can make this village happier... any more questions, preferably less emotionally damaging ones?"

"Erm..." Pusher cleared his throat while thinking what to say, "Who shall be... a pioneer and leader in the role of happiness?"

"Well... I am no leader... but merely a prophet of happiness... I guess..." Fassad paused to read the heart and kidneys of Pusher... and sensed a longing for power and leadership... and decided, "Ah... you... you are the leader of happiness of this village... you shall be given the title... mayor."

"Mayor? Oh... yeah! Yeah! I'm a mayor! Woohoo! Yeah! Yeah! Um, I mean... thanks for so generously giving me this role... I humbly accept it... Mr Fassad."

"Good... any more questions, people?"

"Yeah." said a calm, yet angered voice from behind Fassad, "Why is it that you claim to give happiness, yet YOUR chimera killed MY wife, draining ALL my happiness away from me!"

"Why, hello Flint." Fassad replied while turning around, "I didn't notice you there... say, how's the finding Claus business turning out?"

Flint simply pulled out the home-made knife he'd just found on Drago Plateau from his pocket, screamed, and attempted to stab Fassad.

Fassad dodged, and then Bronson jumped in front of Fassad.

"Flint! Stop! This won't help anything!"

"Yes it will! That guy is destroying this town! Can't you see? He turned Wess' house into an old peoples' home! He's evil!"

Fassad slowly got up from his ducking position, feigning weakness while saying "Bronson is right... killing me will only reduce this town's happiness... and you wouldn't want that, would you? Just because you feel like you will never be happy again doesn't mean you have to make everyone else feel bad..."

"I'm NOT! You will only make this town sad, Fassad. I hate you. Arrrgh!" Flint finally grunted, spat in Fassad's face, started walking away, and threw the home-made knife so hard into the ground that it simply stood on it's blade.