Hi! I'm back at school! Back to Tuesday biweekly updates. (Unless the homework gets too intense, and then it's update-whenever-possible-gasp!) Best of luck to all the scholars out there! :D
To "guest" who left a good, strong long review: Auri was my first OC, so… that was a while ago. Sometimes she annoys me now, and I can't even figure out how or why I came up with how she is. I've been trying to figure out how to change her smoothly, and it's been taking a lot of thought. I'm not offended at all; I totally agree with you. She definitely needs to mature. And I have plans for her development. Praxus has just been stealing the stage for a while because he's more interesting to me. -Because he has issues! Auri… doesn't really have issues yet, and that makes her a little bit boring. Once she finds out a few things and gets issues, then she'll be able to develop and be more "complete." :)
Chapter 34
Backstab ran to save his sparkling, for she'd screamed. He ran into the main room of the Med-Bay and found a femme backing away from Starlight. It was evident that that femme had caused Starlight distress, so Backstab charged her, snarling with bared fangs. Something odd in his processor told him not to tear the femme, and something even stranger actually suggested that he shouldn't even hit her. He overrode and ignored that insane suggestion; anyone who caused Starlight distress was to suffer.
He landed a few squared blows, but the femme was actually able to block the majority of hit swings, and she didn't utter a word, no pleading for mercy like weaklings. These two things meant she didn't deserve to die, so he would just punish her then let her go.
Then a mech came, shouting indistinctly. Backstab blocked him out. Backstab would deal with the mech when he was done with the femme. The mech did something inexcusable and un-ignorable, though; he wrenched Backstab's wing.
Backstab sank his fangs into his attacker's hand, making the attacker cry out in pain. Then he shook his helm to increase his attacker's pain, and the mech dropped to his knees. Backstab gave him a sharp kick then, to teach him not to wrench another Praxian's wing again.
Then he paused.
The mech was a Praxian. Just like him.
And the taste of life-En that filled his mouth… he'd tasted that exact life-En before. He'd bitten this mech before.
He paused, reaching into his memory-banks.
Something was different. And he was not supposed to bite others anymore.
He realized this and released Prowl's hand. Then rough hands jerked him away and slammed him prone, bent over a berth. He kicked, trying to free himself, knowing that pain would come next. He shook his helm hard, unable to speak for some reason.
The other mechs were speaking.
Then the rough mech let go of him. His pedes touched the ground, and the rough mech, a big black creature, stepped away from him.
Backstab hissed and hissed and hissed at him, wings shaking and flaring, fangs bared as he backed away. The big, black mech made dismissive motion with his hand and then moved away to kneel by the first mech that had attacked him. Backstab hissed again, more quietly, and they didn't respond, so he crept away. He needed to find Starlight.
Starlight was hiding safely under a berth, optics wide with fear, but Backstab smiled at her and motioned that she could come out.
"Ocay?" she asked in a tiny whisper.
He nodded.
Starlight crawled out, and he picked her up gently. He nuzzled her and kissed her helm, and then he checked her all over and ran a scan to make sure that the femme hadn't hurt her. She seemed fine. He cuddled her against his chest and stroked her side to calm and soothe her. He wanted to talk and ask if she was alright, but he couldn't. He could hear the other bots still talking, though.
The femme was talking now.
Backstab hesitated. Did he know her? The mech spoke, and Backstab frowned. Did he know the mech, too? Neither of them were gang-members; he couldn't know them.
What was he doing in a Med-Bay with Autobots, anyway?
"…Praxus told me never to scream if he hurt me because it wouldn't help him fight the programming," he heard the femme say.
Then he snapped his helm up, his optics wide. He wasn't Backstab. He was Praxus. The memories came tumbling back to him, and he realized what had just happened. He'd gone into a defense mode, and most of him had been in autopilot or something like that.
He hung his helm. Auri… he'd hit Auri. And… judging from the taste in his mouth, he'd bitten Prowl. He tried to spit the taste from his mouth, but that didn't work, and he felt glum. He cradled Starlight a little closer and stroked her helm, willing tears to stay away. The bots would definitely take her away from him after this… his attack on Auri. And Prowl would kick him out for biting him. Nobody wanted a roommate who bit.
Then Ironhide's pede scuffed the floor, and Praxus's helm snapped up, his optics meeting Ironhide's quickly. Ironhide's look was stern but gentle, and Praxus knew that even though the big mech wasn't happy with him, he wasn't going to be hard on him. He knew, too, that he fully deserved whatever might befall him. Unable to look Ironhide in the face, he lowered his optics a little, and he lowered his wings to show his submission to the older, bigger mech's authority, wisdom, and status of guardian.
He rose, and Starlight squawked and protested when he slowly handed her to Ironhide.
"Noooo!" It was her one Cy-Stan word. "No!" She kicked Ironhide.
Praxus bowed his helm to Ironhide, signaling his acceptance of his situation.
He felt Ironhide's touch on his shoulder and then followed as Ironhide headed over to Prowl and Auri. When they neared, he stared with grief at the patch on Auri's shoulder and Prowl's torn hand on her wrist as she held his wrist. And he felt bad for Jolt, having to mend another MY wound.
Auri looked up.
"Cuddly," Starlight whimpered, and Prowl looked up. The sparkling whined softly, reaching for him.
"I can take her," Prowl said, holding up his free hand.
Praxus watched as Ironhide crouched and settled Starlight in Prowl's arm with her helm on his shoulder. Ironhide met Prowl's optics and something seemed to pass between them, an unspoken message or an intercom. Prowl gave a slight nod.
Then Ironhide rose and his optics met Praxus's. He touched Praxus's shoulder again and then motioned toward a hallway. Praxus nodded slightly then headed for the hallway, Ironhide close behind, a sturdy escort.
Praxus found himself directed into a room. He entered, and he watched as Ironhide entered and shut the door. He felt as if he should be alarmed and afraid, yet something was overriding the fear. He paused. It was trust. He trusted Ironhide to some degree, having spent some time with him. More than that, though, he trusted Prowl, and Prowl trusted Ironhide.
"You hurt Auri," Ironhide stated.
Praxus nodded his admission. He knew Auri would forgive him.
"And you hurt Prowl."
Praxus nodded again, and this time his wings lowered a little.
"Did you know it was wrong?" Ironhide asked slowly. He paused, seeming to weight something.
That strange little voice had told him it wasn't right. Praxus nodded a third time, nodding slowly with downcast optics to show his shame for his actions.
"Biting Prowl is completely understandable," Ironhide said. "You bit him reflexively in self-defense; I can't fault you on that. -I feel like biting him myself sometimes, pain in the aft..." Ironhide paused as he realized that he was wandering off-topic. "I'm letting that pass this time. Just know that there can be social repercussions for biting."
Praxus half-smiled ruefully and nodded.
Ironhide returned his half-smile for a moment but then looked sad.
"Praxus… I know you have the MY program-virus thing to deal with, but…" Ironhide broke off and cycled air through his system. He shook his helm slowly. "Praxus, you can't crash into a room and hurt bots without knowing the full story. I've done that before, and believe me, it's never good. I… I need to apologize for being rough with you not long ago and nearly beating you. I saw you hitting Auri, and I saw you bite and hurt Prowl. My instinct was to slam you down and pound it out of you. It was wrong. I should have stopped and asked questions. Prowl made me pause and realize what was going on."
"Blind instinct in situations with your ward is usually wrong," he continued. "As guardians, we want to protect and defend our young, but if we're not calm and level-helmed about it, we err. And sometimes we err pretty badly."
Praxus nodded his understanding.
Ironhide looked grim. "In light of my actions, I feel like a glitching hypocrite, but I have to teach you and take steps to make it less likely that you will hurt another bot again in blind defense of Starlight."
Praxus hesitated then nodded his understanding, tamping down fear. He had learned that fear was often unreasonable.
"It is completely right that you want to protect and guard Starlight," Ironhide said, "But you must handle your protective duties to her objectively and logically. If she screams, you definitely run into the room to see what's happening. But, you don'tstart pounding the nearest bot, and especially not the one left in charge of her. You need to use logic. Logically, it was Auri's duty to look after Starlight, and you know Auri; she would look after Starlight with all her ability and then some. She wouldn't hurt Starlight."
Praxus lowered his wings a bit more as he nodded.
"And you knew you were wrong to hit Auri?" Ironhide double-checked, his tone sad.
Praxus nodded. The niggling feeling in his processor had suggested that he shouldn't hit Auri, and it had been right.
"Praxus…" Ironhide sounded like his spark hurt.
Praxus ventured to look up at Ironhide and saw the grim sorrow in the big mech's blue optics.
There was a silence for a couple moments, and then Ironhide sighed heavily.
"Should I punish you, Praxus?" he asked quietly. "I really don't want to, but I don't know enough about you to know what to do."
Praxus mulled it over. He'd been rash and illogical, violent and harsh, and his processor had hinted that he'd been wrong, but he'd pushed it aside. He should have listened to the quiet voice instead of the loud raging ones that always led him to hurt. He knew Auri would forgive him readily; no negative consequences would befall him from her side of the relationship. It took consequences for him to learn, though. It took consequences for his miswired mind to rewire itself.
Praxus nodded.
"Are you sure?" From the tone in Ironhide's voice, Praxus realized that the big mech would gladly not punish him. If he were to shake his helm to indicate a "no," Ironhide would most likely not lay anything on him. Ironhide was leaving it up to him. He could get off with just the talking to. He could do that.
No.
His earlier reasoning had led to him nodding "yes" to punishment. It took consequences for him to learn, and Auri would forgive him in a spark-pulse, giving no consequences. He needed whatever Ironhide didn't want to do. He needed it to learn.
He nodded.
"You're sure?"
He nodded again.
Ironhide sighed. "This is the part of being a guardian that I hate."
Praxus actually found himself giving the big mech a smile of sympathetic understanding. There was nothing about Starlight that he hated except for having to smack her now and then.
Ironhide looked briefly confused, but then he looked like he realized why Praxus understood.
"Alright. Over this berth with you," he said quietly.
Praxus positioned himself as uneasy little chills ran up his legs, and aft, and back. His wings started to tingle with fear, but he calmed them, knowing Ironhide wouldn't hit them. A moment later, he calmed his whole body. He knew enough of Ironhide to know that Ironhide wouldn't hurt him unduly.
Ironhide put a hand on Praxus's lower back, and then he paused. "This is battle-armor?" he asked.
Praxus nodded. It was the only armor he had. He heard Ironhide sigh.
Pause.
"I'm sorry, Praxus."
Praxus tensed.
"I'm sorry, but this strap won't sting through battle-armor. The after-plating will have to come off."
Praxus nodded, and then Ironhide gently removed the after-armor with as little touching as possible.
"Y-you… you don't have preliminary armor?" Ironhide sounded as if he'd clearly been expecting a layer of light preliminary armor and it bothered him that there wasn't any.
Praxus shook his helm. MY didn't wear prelim armor.
"'M sorry," Ironhide murmured. He seemed unwilling to strike a bare rump, but after a moment, he placed a hand on Praxus's lower back. "This will sting a little more than one of Ratchet's wrenches," he said quietly, "But it won't bruise."
Praxus nodded his understanding.
Several seconds later, the rubber strap bit into Praxus's backside, and he widened his optics in surprise. It hurt, of course, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what he was expecting. It felt like it wasn't even going to make a welt.
Another lick landed.
He would want to avoid getting this again, of course, but this wasn't excruciating. Were all Autobot punishments this humane? Ratchet had his little wrench dings, and Prowl had made him put his hands on his desk.
Lick.
Ironhide swung a stinging strap that didn't cut, bruise, or cause welts. Absolutely none of them drew life-En. And maybe Autobots thought a bare aft was something psychologically uncomfortable, but Praxus wasn't bothered by it, except for the lack of protection.
A harder lick caught his attention and made him flinch.
The next lick was just as hard and came a little sooner. Ironhide had evidently realized that Praxus hadn't been minding the licks quite enough. Several more licks followed, and Praxus fought the impulse to shift in discomfort. Then no more licks came.
"Done," Ironhide said quietly, taking his hand from Praxus's back.
Praxus hesitated, but then he shifted a little and got off the berth. Shooting Ironhide a curious glance, he saw that the big mech folding the strap and looking unhappy with himself. Praxus shifted his wings. There wasn't really anything he could say to reassure Ironhide, being mute at present as he was. He glanced around and then picked up his after-armor and put it in place, latching it. Then he gave his rear a little experimental touch, testing its soreness. It was quite warm, not comfortable in the least, but he calculated that he could probably sit on it in five or six minutes without too much of a pang. That wasn't bad at all.
"I don't know what to say," Ironhide said, putting the strap away into subspace. "Just… don't hit Auri again," he murmured, optics down.
Praxus went over to Ironhide and felt quite limited by his lack of vocal processors. What could he do? Ironhide looked at him, and Praxus saw in his optics that Ironhide felt bad about punishing him, especially for a crime he'd nearly committed himself.
Praxus gave him a little a smile then shyly held his arms open, asking for a hug. That brought most of Ironhide's smile back in a moment, and Praxus found himself in a warm, firm embrace a couple moments later.
"Never-mind the genetic-encoding," Ironhide said, rubbing Praxus's helm fondly. "You're all Praxian."
That made Praxus happy.
"You be good from now on, okay?" Ironhide said, letting him go.
Praxus smirked in doubt then gave him a smile and nodded.
"Uh-huh," Ironhide said, "Well, time to get back to the others."
Praxus nodded.
They went.
OoOoOoOoO
Once they were done in the main room of Med-Bay with patches and tickling, Prowl led the way back to the conference room, Praxus tagging behind to his right with Starlight in his arms. Ironhide brought up the rear.
Chromia was slouching on the stool in the hallway when they turned the corner.
"Seriously, you mechs took long enough," she said, "What the-"
"Language," Prowl said warningly. "Starlight doesn't speak Cy-Stan, but we don't want her picking up certain words." He stepped aside so she could see Starlight.
"Oy!" Chromia straightened. "She's cute."
Praxus gave her a dry look. "Yes. Mind your mouth," he said. Then he went into the conference room. Praxus hesitated then decided to stand in the hall until notified.
"Tetchy a bit now," Chromia said, looking intrigued. "What happened?"
"He's stressed," Ironhide said. "Too stressed to hide that he cares, so he's being just a bit overprotective." Then he smiled. "And a little quirky. He tickled Auri as payback for instigating Starlight to tickle him."
"Sorry I missed that!" Chromia got up. "C'mon, Sweet-Cheeks," she said, touching Praxus's arm. She pushed the door open and went in. Praxus followed her, and Ironhide entered last, closing the door behind them.
Ironhide and Chromia took their seats, and Praxus handed Starlight gently to Prowl. Then he guardedly took a seat.
Prowl took Starlight over to Elita, who rose and stood.
"Starlight, this is Elita," Prowl said, giving no one a chance to ask what had happened in the other room.
Starlight studied Elita. There were too many huge bots in this gigantic room, but this femme was pretty.
"Can you say hello to her?"
"'Lo, Yi-ta?" Starlight tried to say the pretty femme's name.
"Hello, Starlight," Elita said, a true smile warming her face at the sparkling's darling attempt at her name. "I am happy to meet you."
"Eyah…" Starlight said with awe; the pretty femme with no wings could speak her language.
"I'm going to let her hold you," Prowl said, "And you two can talk. Okay?"
"'Cay." Starlight nodded, a little wide-opticked.
Prowl gave her to Elita and then returned to his seat as Elita sat. Starlight watched him go, her little body slightly stiff against Elita.
"Would you like to sit on the table?" Elita offered. She glanced at Soundwave and the holographic screen and saw that the Con was already translating and transcribing their conversation.
Starlight considered this. "Um, eyah."
Elita set her on the table with her tiny pedes hanging off the side. Starlight wiggled her pedes in approval. Then she stopped as she remembered something. Elita was the one she was supposed to tell how nice her brother was.
"Bruver vewy nice," she said seriously and nodded. "Him nice."
"Yes?" Elita encouraged. "What nice things does he do?"
Starlight cocked her helm. The pretty femme wanted to talk to her? She liked this. She liked talking. "Him sing," she said eagerly, "Him sings fo' me. An' him bwing food… an' bwankets. Fufflewy bwankets. An him 'tects me from bad fings…" Her gaze wanderedas she thought about other nice things her brother did. "Him wah-ful!" She said happily, suddenly remembering a word that Auri had used. She paused. That hadn't been it. "Whuh… whuffle…" she frowned. That wasn't it either. "Nun…" she scowled. What was it?
Prowl frowned, trying to figure out what word she was searching for. Soundwave wrote "(unsuccessful attempts at pronouncing an unknown word)" on the screen.
"Wun…ngh!" she huffed in frustration. She wanted that word. It was a good word. And it was a big one, too, one that would impress the big bots and tell them how great her brother was.
"Whuffanol… nawwww!" She whined.
"Loveable?" Prowl asked doubtfully.
"Nah-oh…" Starlight complained. "Nawww, fwaggin gamn it!"
Praxus hid his face in utter shame as Starlight's cussing. He would have groaned if he'd had his voice.
"Oh, dear," Ironhide said drily as the translation appeared on the screen.
Chromia shot Prowl a dry look. "So. Language?"
"Wonderful!" Prowl said suddenly. Auri had said it earlier, and Starlight had repeated it eagerly.
"EYAH!" Starlight squealed happily, her mood changing instantly. "Him Wonnerful! Wonnerful, wonnerful! Eyah!" She grinned triumphantly. "An, him nuvs me."
"He loves you?" Elita asked.
Starlight nodded. "Eyah. And, I nuvs him, coo," she added enthusiastically.
"Are you happy with him?"
Starlight nodded joyfully. "Eyah. Appyee! I nuvs him!"
Elita paused as she received an intercom.. "Would you like to be friends with the blue femme over there?" She asked, pointing to Chromia.
Starlight turned and studied the blue femme thoughtfully. "Ummm… may-bees?" She wasn't sure. Then she saw Prime and brightened. "I bite him!"
Ironhide chuckled when her translated words appeared on the screen.
Elita had an amused look on her face. "Why did you bite him?" she asked.
"Him gwabby; I bite. Bwuver show me scay safe. I cay safe; I bite! An' him say –Ahwoooo! Ou! Ouwwwch!" She looked pleased with her howling.
Prime paused when he saw the translation. "I believe that is an exaggeration," he said, sounding tactful.
"No, he didn't yell or howl," Ironhide averred, a bit of a grin playing around his mouth. "But, what warrior-femme doesn't up-play her enemy's howls of anguish?"
Starlight twisted and looked at him. "Oh!" she said with recognition. "I mos bite him," She said. "An him mos say Owwwwwweeeee! Ow! Aighhhhh!"
Ratchet chuckled when the translation came up, and Chromia laughed. Prime hid a look of amusement.
Ironhide grinned.
Starlight noted the amused looks on the big huge bots' faces and found it encouraging. "An den, him mos say aiiiiiiiiooooo! Eeeeek! Eeeee…!"
Elita tucked away a smile. "Okay. That's enough now," she said gently but firmly. Starlight stopped obediently, giving Elita a smile. Elita returned the smile, optics twinkling. "You're a good sparkling, Starlight."
Starlight nodded. "Eyah. I goo' fo' Bwuver."
Elita glanced at the big bots. "Any questions for her?"
Ratchet sent one in. Elita read it and shot him a look of reproach.
"Does your brother ever hurt you?"
Starlight looked doubtful. "Um…" She looked at her pedes curiously and then pulled one up onto the table. "Well…" She began running her finger along the seams in the armor. "I not know."
"Starlight," Elita said. "Does your brother ever hurt you?"
Starlight shrugged, optics wandering to Soundwave. "I hungwy…"
"Starlight." Elita used a more firm tone, and she saw the sparkling's wings tilt just a little.
"I hungwry, fwaggin it. Hunnngwy!"
Praxus squirmed.
"Starlight," Elita said, her tone more stern. She gently but firmly put her fingers on Starlight's chin and made the sparkling look at her. "Listen. You need to answer the question. Then we will get some food for you."
"Not hungwy!" Starlight squawked. Then she chomped down on Elita's nearest finger, making the femme commander gasp in pain.
Prime reached over and gently but firmly wrapped a hand around Starlight. "No," he told her sternly, his tone one of grim disapproval.
Starlight's mouth flopped open, and she stared up at him with wide optics. Then she blinked and a tiny whimper escaped her mouth.
Prime softened his look. "B' nice t' Elita," he said gently, his Praxian oddly accented.
Starlight lowered her wings, and then he let her go. She looked unhappy.
Elita picked her carefully and cuddled her softly. "It's okay, Starlight," she reassured, "Can you just answer the question? Does your brother ever hurt you?"
Starlight scowled. "No. Bwuver nice. Him nuvs me."
"What happens if you break a rule?" Prowl asked.
Starlight looked over at him, surprised to see him there. "Him… smack!" She answered readily.
"How?" Prowl asked.
"Um…" Starlight didn't have enough words. "Smack, smack," she said, tapping her behind firmly. "An him cwies."
"He cries?" Elita asked.
"Eyah."
"Do you cry?"
"Um… eyah…"
"Why does he cry?"
Starlight lowered her wings sympathetically. "Coz him sad."
"Why is he sad?"
Starlight frowned. "Him sad coz I sad. An him say sorwy."
"He says sorry?"
"Eyah," Starlight paused. "We pway together," she said, changing the subject and perking up. "I pways wiff mine coys, an I share nice wiff him. An him sing fo' me."
"Yes?"
"An him pwetty."
Chromia chuckled.
Prowl smiled, touched that Starlight hadn't forgotten their talk in the courtyard.
"Does he ever smack your wings?" Soundwave asked.
Starlight looked at him speculatively then studied Elita's armoring. "Um…" her little brow furrowed with concentration. "No."
The big bots exchanged glances, looking somewhat grim. Praxus picked up his stylus and started writing.
"Did he smack your wings in the past?" Soundwave asked.
Starlight gave him a little frown. "What?"
"Did he smack your wings in the past?"
Starlight fingered Elita's shoulder armor then craned to compare it with her own. The big bots wanted to know if her brother had hurt her in the past… but why? Why did the past matter?
"Starlight?"
"I finkin' bou' it," she replied. It was a good sentence that she'd learned from her brother. I'm thinking about it.
After a couple minutes, Praxus tapped his data-pad on the table to get the bots' attention. Chromia took it from him and looked at it.
"Let's see," she said, and then she read, "'When Ratchet started taking care of me, he used a wrench on my aft every time I used a bad word. It didn't hurt too much, but it smarted enough that I wanted to avoid it, so I learned to hold my tongue. Once I was in Prowl's quarters, I let Starlight out to play, and I gave her rules to not touch his desk or go in his room. She climbed his desk, though, to touch the interesting things on it. When I yelled at her, she got terrified, like she always did, because she knew I was going to hit her. And then I realized that I had been wrong to hit her like I had, and that it wasn't necessary. Ratchet had taught me another way to teach obedience to rules: firm discipline without undo harshness. I gave her a tiny smack on her aft, and I swore to never hit her wings or face again. Since that day, I've had to smack her aft a couple times, but I've not hit her face or wings, and I never will.'" Chromia looked up from the data-pad. "There you have it, Ratchet. He used to abuse her, but then he learned the right way from you and quit abusing her."
Ratchet gave Praxus a speculative look, but Praxus was studying how the shadows fell on the table when he moved his fingers.
"Want corwy," Starlight said, shifting.
[Story,] Praxus wrote, seeing the look of uncertainty on Elita's face and the way Soundwave paused.
"You can have a story a little bit later," Elita reassured the sparkling. "Perhaps Auri will tell you one. Do you like Auri?"
"I yikes Auwi," Starlight said. "We pway an 'nuggle..." Her attention wandered, as did her optics. "Want Cuddly," she said, reaching a hand towards Prowl.
Prowl shot the screen a sideways glance to check on how Soundwave had written the word. He'd actually written "to cuddle" instead of "cuddly," and he written it in such a way that it was not defined as a name.
"Prowl?" Elita asked.
He nodded. "I will take her," he said.
Elita set Starlight on the table. "You can go to Prowl," she told the sparkling.
Starlight frowned up at her, frustrated. "Want Cuddly."
Elita paused, looking confused.
"You can cuddle if you want to," she said. "Did you want to cuddle with me?"
Prowl kept still aside from darting another glance at the screen. Soundwave was still writing "to cuddle."
"No…" Starlight complained. "Want Cuddle-ly,"
Elita looked a little more confused. "What is 'Cuddly'?" she asked gently, trying to understand.
"Cuddly! Cu-dul-ly! fwaggit-!" Starlight kicked, looking upset. Soundwave looked speculative and just drew a squiggled line followed by a question mark of doubt.
"Starlight, come here," Prowl said, not without a stern note.
Starlight crawled across the table, straight for him. "I no yikes 'em, all 'em words, Cuddly."
Prowl was now fairly certain that Starlight's name for him was no longer a secret, but he didn't dare check. He picked up Starlight.
"Starlight, you must not say 'fraggit' or 'fraggin'' anymore, do you understand me?"
She nodded. "Eyah."
"They are bad words, and you will get a smack if you say them again. Okay?"
Starlight looked over at Praxus. "Bwuver say 'em." She seemed confused.
"You brother does not say them anymore. He got smacked for saying them, and you will, too."
"Aw," Starlight looked downcast and troubled. "Ocayee… I no say 'em."
"Good sparkling."
"Eyah! Goo' park-ling fo' Cuddly. Annn'fo' Bwuver."
"Mm-hm…" Prowl knew he was betrayed then. He avoided everyone's optics directly, but very surreptitiously tilted his helm to put Chromia in his peripheral vision. She didn't seem amused or anything.
"I'm sure it makes your brother happy when you are good for him," Prowl said, now furtively putting the screen in his line of vision as Starlight answered in the affirmative.
This was Soundwave's translation: [Yeah! Good sparkling for you. And for Brother.]
Prowl felt relief and confusion. He was relieved that Soundwave had covered for him, and he was confused as to why.
"Want Bwuver." Starlight reached for Praxus.
"You wanted me just a moment ago."
"Want Bwuver now. P'ease?"
Prowl handed the sparkling over, and she cooed happily in Praxus's arms.
"I tell Yi-ta oo nice," She told him.
Praxus nodded and met Prowl's optics with a silent petition for help.
"Starlight," Prowl said gently, "Remember how your brother was whispering earlier?"
She nodded. "Eyah. Him wifper coz him froat hurt."
"That's right; he whispered because his throat hurt. Well, now he cannot talk at all."
"Oh…!" She looked at her brother with concerned dismay, and then tears filled her optics. "Him hurted badwy…!" she whimpered.
"Sh-shh," Prowl hushed her. "He is not hurt very badly, and he will be able to talk in a few days. He just can't talk right now."
"Or sing?"
"No, he can't sing either."
She sniffled unhappily and put her helm against Praxus's shoulder. "Be ocay," she whimpered. "P'ease, be ocay."
Praxus planted a gentle kiss on her helm as he rubbed her back.
"He will be okay soon," Prowl reassured her. She sighed softly, and then she seemed to be alright.
Prowl looked over at Ratchet. "It is obvious that he has traumatized her to such a degree that she cannot stand him and has no empathy for him," he said, optics narrowing. His wings pinned back just a hint in a subtle outward sign of combativeness.
"That was unnecessarily nasty, Prowl," Ratchet said levelly. "The sooner you do that sync to verify his truthfulness, the sooner we'll come to a final decision."
"Besides Ratchet, who actually wants me to sync with Praxus and tread upon his private thoughts and feelings?" Prowl asked, optics cutting into the bots around the table.
"I," Soundwave said.
Elita lowered her optics to avoid Prowl's searing look. "I believe it would be wisest," she said quietly.
Ironhide looked absolutely conflicted and uncomfortable.
"I…" Chromia faltered when Prowl glared at her. "… just want to say that if you don't, there will always be questions. If you do, you'll be able to say for certain once and for all."
Prowl's glare diminished. "That is logical," he said.
She nodded.
Prowl reached over and touched Starlight's back. "Sweet-Star," he said with infinite gentleness, "You're going to go see Auri now, and she's going to tell you some wonderful stories while you drink your Energon."
"Yummy Energon?" Starlight asked.
"Very yummy Energon. The yummiest," Prowl said. Then he heard Chromia chuckle and glanced at the screen. Soundwave had translated that exactly as he'd said it. Double-crosser.
"Ocay."
Praxus handed Starlight over to Prowl, who then rose and headed for the door.
For two seconds, Praxus squirmed. Then he was off his stool and darting after Prowl.
Pausing, Prowl looked at him. Then, shifting his wings minutely, he turned and allowed Praxus to follow him to the main room.
Auri was sprawled on the couch with a data-pad in one hand, but she sat up in attention when Prowl entered.
"Done?" she asked hopefully.
"Not quite yet," Prowl said. "We need your newly-found sparkling-care skills for a just a little while more." He deposited Starlight in her arms gently. "I've told her that you're going to tell her wonderful stories and feed her the yummiest Energon, so please, please keep my word."
Auri smiled up at him. "Of course, Prowl. Anything you need me to do, I will do," she said.
"Thank-you," he said, touching her cheek for just a moment. Then he turned and started to head back to the hallway.
Praxus hesitated, his optics on Auri's face in thoughtfulness. Prowl had said "thank-you" verbally, but the touch on her cheek had said the same thing, only a little more spark-felt. He, Praxus, still needed to apologize for hitting her, but he couldn't speak and his data-pad was in the other room. Prowl's gentle touch had given him an idea, though.
Praxus stepped closer to Auri then, meeting her optics. He touched her shoulder as lightly as possible, his fingertips just brushing the scuffed armor, and then he bowed and gently planted a kiss on it.
"Praxus," Prowl said. He had halted and was looking stern; kissing Auri wasn't allowed.
Auri shot him a look of gentleness, though. "Prowl, it was an apology," she explained softly, warming Praxus's spark. She'd understood.
Prowl paused, considering this. "Was it?" he asked Praxus, more curious than questioning.
Praxus nodded, his optics concerned as he feared Prowl wouldn't believe him. He approached Prowl, signifying that he was ready to go back.
Prowl regarded him contemplatively for another moment. "You had best stick to the traditional mode of apologizing once you have your voice back."
Praxus nodded, well cognizant of that. Then he realized that he'd not apologized to Prowl for biting his hand, and a sudden little smirk hit his mouth.
"Not funny," Prowl said, raising an optic-ridge. Then he turned back toward the hallway and headed for the conference room, Praxus at his heels.
When they reentered the room, the big bots seemed to shift.
"Get it over with," Chromia said.
Praxus gave Prowl a questioning look.
"Go ahead sit," Prowl said, motioning to Praxus's seat at the table. "I will stand… no. I will sit beside you and conduct the sync."
Praxus nodded and obediently sat. He placed his hands on the table, at the edge, with his thumbs under the table so he could grip firmly in case of pain or fear.
Prowl moved his stool over so that it was very close to Praxus's, and then he sat facing Praxus, his optics on Praxus's profile.
He put his hand on Praxus's shoulder. "Aside from your first night here, have you had any other bots sync…?"
Praxus nodded, setting his teeth on his lips at the painful memory that stabbed through his processor. His wings shook a little.
"It will not be like that," Prowl said, his tone calm and reassuring. "Syncing is inherently unavoidably uncomfortable, but I will do everything in my power to keep that discomfort to the minimum, and I will not inflict any pain or fragmentation on you unless it is absolutely unavoidable. I do not want to hurt you. I do not even want to do this to you. But since I must, I will make it as easy on you as I possibly can. Believe me; I want it to be painless. I have been in this position before, and I've been in your position, and I like neither."
Prowl's words seemed to calm Praxus, and the dark wings slowly stopped trembling.
"I will not hurt you intentionally in any way. Understood?"
Praxus nodded once.
"Once I sync in, I will ask you to lower your firewalls, and then I will ask you to lead me to the memories that I need to see. If you lead, it will make the sync quicker, and it will lower the risk of inadvertent fragmentation as I go through your processor. Alright?"
Praxus answered with a nod again. Then he half-smirked in ruefulness as he wondered that his neck wouldn't be sore tomorrow from so much nodding today.
"Alright," Prowl said. "Slide back the armoring over the data-port, please."
Praxus reached for the armoring on the back of his neck, but then he froze up. He couldn't do that! He couldn't. He couldn't. No. No. NO.
"It's alright, Praxus," Prowl said, calm, steady, "Just slide it back. You can do it."
Praxus felt his systems panicking and heating, and he felt an overwhelming urge to sink his fangs into the hand that was on his shoulder. Bite, his system said. Bite. Bite. Bite. Bite it gone.
No. No biting.
Yes. Bite. Bite. Backstab, bite.
"Praxus, you're alright."
His mouth was open, fangs bared. He shook his helm, trying to free it from so many confusing thoughts.
"Praxus, mech-ling, you are okay."
He twisted his neck and lowered his mouth to the hand, his fangs resting on the hand but not piercing it. His system screamed at him to bite, but he didn't. He hesitated. He could smell the life-En, the bit that had seeped through the bandage. This was the hand that rubbed his shoulder when he was upset, the hand that gave him a blanket when he needed a blanket, the hand that gave him a soothing Energon cube with sedatives when he badly needed sleep.
He shifted his helm a little and closed his mouth. He was Praxus, and he didn't bite others.
"Good job, Praxus," Prowl whispered. "Good job."
Praxus cycled some cool air through his system. Then he shut his optics and slid back the armor panel over his data-port.
"Thank-you," Prowl murmured.
Then Praxus stiffened as he felt Prowl's hand on his neck and the cord connecting. He fought the urge to fight, grinding his teeth and clenching the table. He tried not to writhe, and he wanted to scream out his terror.
"Shh, sh, Praxus," Prowl soothed. "You're good, Praxus. You're alright. You can do this. Once I have established the connection, you will be able to communicate with me in words. We can talk. You can talk. You would like that?"
Praxus nodded frantically.
"Alright. So, calm down. Run cool air through your system. Think of peace and trust. Focus on getting to communicate on a better level." Prowl's voice was steady and calming, and Praxus followed his words.
Prowl "stood" just outside the firewalls in Praxus's mind, and he felt Praxus mentally and emotionally recoiling from him.
"Ease down the firewalls now, Praxus," Prowl directed softly.
~I don't want you to see…~ Praxus whimpered through a tiny crack in the firewall.
"I understand," Prowl whispered. "I know what it's like. It's hard to take. But, please, please cooperate and take the firewalls down."
~You'll hurt me if I don't, won't you?~
"I don't want to hurt you, Praxus, but you would feel pain if I had to hack through your firewalls. Please don't make me do that."
The firewalls wavered and then eased down flinchingly.
~I don't like this!~ Praxus cried out.
~I know. I'm sorry that this has to be done.~ Prowl gently installed a piece of code over Praxus's downed firewalls to lock them down.
~I'm scared, Prowl.~ He sounded like a lost sparkling in a dark tunnel.
Prowl stayed at the very edge on Praxus's mind, near the firewall, not venturing to go any further until Praxus was less afraid. ~I know you are. Your fear is tangible to me now that I've synced with you. It's a very strong and terrifying fear that you have. I don't think that you need to be very scared, though.~ He carefully sent out a gentle wave of comfort. ~I am not going to hurt you, and you're doing an excellent job of cooperating with me so far; this sync should go smoothly and well if we continue like this.~
Physically, outside the mental realm, Prowl felt Praxus tremble a little.
~I fear more than the sync, Prowl. I… I… can't say-!~
~You are afraid of being exposed and made vulnerable.~
~Yes… and that you might change your mind about letting me have Starlight. And that you will have me offlined or imprisoned when you actually see and feel the things I've done. It's different to see and feel something than to just read it or just hear about it as you have.~
~I want healing and restoration for you, Praxus. You are my fellow Praxian, my kins-mech. I do not want anything bad to happen to you. Trust… please, trust me.~
Praxus sighed in resignation. ~I will try.~
~Good. Can we work on reviewing some memories now?~ Prowl asked, and he felt Praxus's will bending with effort. Praxus's automatic response was to fight, but Praxus was fighting that response.
~Yes. What should I do?~
~Can you locate your memories of when you first found Starlight?~
~Yes.~
~Good. Now, can you highlight a path for me to follow to get to them? This will make the sync less invasive.~
~I will try.~
"Good, Praxus. Good.~
Prowl felt the fear and stress around him increase, and then an overwhelming sense of vulnerability and fear of trust came flooding through Praxus's mind. Prowl felt like it would drown them both in a second, but then it ebbed away, leaving shyness and tentative hope.
~Prowl…?~
~Yes, Praxus.~
~Can we do a different memory first?~ Praxus sounded shy, vulnerable, but a there was hope in his tone.
~Yes, Praxus. We can do a different memory first. Is there one in particular you would prefer?~
~I think so…~ Praxus trailed off.
A path flickered weakly into being, and Prowl moved toward it. Praxus winced, though, and the path vanished.
~It's alright,~ Prowl reassured Praxus.
A couple moments passed, and then the path came back.
~I was awfully sick one time,~ Praxus said softly as Prowl followed the path. ~I thought I might not live. I wanted to talk to Starlight one more time.~
Prowl stopped at the memory file and accessed it with as gentle a touch as possible.
He was so sick, so horribly sick, and the world swirled around him while up was down, and down was inexplicable and mostly sideways so badly that he couldn't stand or even crawl, not that he had any will to move, for every movement brought a stabbing seething pain that tore through him and made him need to vomit even though there hadn't been anything in his tank for days. He knew this couldn't last much longer, and darkness would come forever. He wanted to see Starlight one last time before that. Maybe there would be light after the darkness; he didn't know. He needed Starlight one more time. She'd been asleep in stasis for a while now, for there hadn't been any Energon except a tiny bit, and it had evidently had something poisonous in it.
He absolutely loved her. Sometimes he'd been too sick to remember that he had her, but as his weak, shaking fingers opened her box, the feeling of love and care that he had for her was so powerful that the pain of movement was worth it. Only he couldn't pull his helm up off the floor to look inside to see her.
His hand knew how get her out of stasis. He focused all his power on that, and gasped for cool air so hard for the effort that he felt his wings were going to tear themselves off. His wings never stopped hurting, the poison running through them. He gave up and lay motionless, burning hot.
"Bwuver, I waked up." The little voice was so sweet and happy, ready for food and games and songs and stories. "Bwuver?" He heard a little scuffle sound. "Oo sneepy asneep? Wake up, Bwvuer." There were more little scuffling sounds, and Starlight plopped onto the floor beside him. He dragged one optic open.
Starlight grinned at him. "Oo waked up, coo!" She was clearly delighted to see him awake. "Upupup," she said eagerly.
"I… s-sick…" he gasped out in a feeble whisper, and a killing fire tore through his throat.
"Ick?"
He couldn't respond.
"Uh-oh," she said softly, putting a little hand on his hand. "Oh… uh-oh."
There was so much silence in the room that it hurt.
Then Starlight shifted. "I 'ing o' oo bedger," she said softly. He couldn't even think enough to translate her words into proper words. He couldn't move to nod his helm in encouragement either. And he didn't know what would happen to her after he died.
Then she started to sing softly. She had a sweet little voice even though she could not pronounce a single word correctly or properly hit any of the notes. The song reminded him of a lullaby, though, and he appreciated it.
When she ended her song, she pressed her little lips against his hand.
"Oo bee otay," she said softly. "Bee otay?"
He used what felt like his last bit of strength to nod. He wanted to be okay for her.
Praxus gently nudged Prowl away from the file then.
~I got better because she was there,~ he said. ~The poisons finished running through my system, and I cared enough for her to fight it and get up when I could.~
Prowl smiled at him. ~It's a good memory, Praxus,~ he said softly. ~Thank-you for sharing it. You did well with it.~
Praxus seemed to be encouraged by Prowl's approval, but then he retreated a little. ~Here is when I found her,~ he whispered, and a chill slipped between him and Prowl.
Prowl followed the new path. When he came to the file, he started to reach for it, but Praxus whimpered, and his physical form shuddered.
~S-scared! N-no! Y-you, you c-c…~
"It's alright," Prowl whispered. He could feel monsters rising around them, terrifying things of unspeakable horror. He shifted his seat so that he was very close to Praxus, and he put his free hand on Praxus's farther shoulder, practically embracing him. Praxus's hand came off the table and gripped Prowl's hand. "You're okay," Prowl reassured him.
~S-s-scared, scared,~
~You don't need to be,~ Prowl told him gently. Then he accessed the file. Almost immediately, he felt sick. There was fear of everything charging through the mech's system. There was the taste of life-Energon in his mouth, and the smell of it mixed with discharged energy from weapons. Fear. Fear. Fear. It was everywhere. Destroy everything because everything was fearsome. Kill those creatures before they kill you. Raze that building before its contents destroy your life. Watch your back! Monsters, monsters everywhere, hiding in the choking smoke, waiting to hurt and tear and torture you.
~Prowl!~
Prowl choked and withdrew from the file, crumpling mentally to the floor of Praxus's processor, curling up around himself.
~Prowl, Prowl… are you… Prowl?~
~Is this what it's like?~ Prowl felt tears spilling from his optics as he spoke aloud.
~Yes, Prowl. That's what it was like. It's not that bad now, though. It's better. Please come back. Finish.~
Prowl bit his lip.
The file was still open, waiting for the rest of his review. He dragged himself to it and went through it, saw Starlight's house, saw her femme-creator shoot herself, saw Starlight for the first time. He fled.
He found himself curled up protectively again, with Praxus gently cradling his mind.
~Why? Why were you so afraid of her?~ Prowl asked, whispering. Was he shuddering?
~We were taught to fear,~ Praxus whispered back. ~You don't want to know.~
Prowl shook his helm. No, he didn't.
Praxus led him back to the file and made him face the swirl of mixed feelings and wonder regarding the tiny terror with Praxian wings. She was a sister, somehow, and valuable. Praxus showed him the ignorant treatment of stasis and subspace, and then Praxus showed him how amazing Starlight was the second time, the time she was asleep in stasis. There was new curiosity and wonder when she began to interact with Praxus, and there was love. Pure guardian love. Fear of the unknown was cancelled out by love and a new hunger for understanding. There was a vital need to learn how to take care of this priceless tiny treasure.
Prowl closed file gently when he was done with it.
Praxus seemed to be standing back, guarded, fearful yet hopeful.
~Are… are you alright?~ Praxus asked quietly. Prowl could feel his concerned scrutiny
~I am now. I w-wasn't there for a couple moments. No wonder you were scared.~
Praxus gave him a nod of relief and understanding.
~Now what do you want see?~ Praxus asked after a couple moments.
Prowl didn't answer for a number of seconds. He just wanted to see the end of the sync. ~Just… let me see the… ah. When you got the down-grader, since Chromia is doubtful. And then where you had to first punish… And where the mech hurt...~
~Alright. And then something about food, since Ratchet doesn't understand that I didn't mean to starve her.~
~I… yes.~ Prowl answered. He was going to have a killer helm-ache when he was finished.
Praxus highlighted a path. ~This one isn't nearly as bad as the last one.~
~I will be glad of that,~ Prowl replied. He started down the path. ~Good job, by the way; you're doing well.~
Praxus hesitated, and Prowl could feel a little shyness rising. ~Thank-you, Prowl. I wouldn't be able to if I didn't trust you.~
Prowl paused, suddenly finding himself touched. He took trust very seriously, and he didn't readily trust others. And rarely did he trust them in as short of a time as Praxus had been around him. Praxus had been through worse things than he had, too. It was a little marvelous.
~I appreciate that,~ Prowl said, moving forwards. ~I will try to ensure that you won't find such trust misplaced.~
~I think I know that,~ Praxus answered slowly, and then Prowl felt him relax a little as proof.
~Just remember that tomorrow when you wake with a helm-ache.~
~I'll be consoled by the fact that you'll have one, too,~ Praxus's tone was one of teasing.
Ruefully, Prowl half-laughed at that.
~Oh, Praxus, you've not met me with a raging helm-ache, or you wouldn't be joking like that. I'm sorry.~
~Apologies accepted in advance.~ Praxus didn't seem disheartened, but Prowl suspected it was a ruse. Had he been deeper into Praxus's mind, he would have been certain.
Prowl faced the memory file.
~Cheers to Chromia,~ Praxus said, sounding a little anxious.
~It will be fine,~ Prowl said. Then he accessed the file.
Yes, cliffie there. Sorry! This chapter took way more words than I thought it would. *sigh* Next chapter shoulder wrap up the angsty section, though, and then we'll have more fun and get to some Auri-development and Prowl-Auri fun.
Welcome back to school, by the way. I've been reading in Middle English for one of my classes, and it's been interesting.
Remember, one-shot request for the 500th reviewer! :D Be thinking of ideas of something you'd like to see me write! –If you don't get 500th, I still like ideas. ;)