I've gotten some concerned reviews and PM's about the kittens, just so everyone knows, the kitties will be safe in this story, no harm will come to the kittens.

I don't own Twilight, S.M. does, I do own Harry Potter blanket

Chapter 36

The waiting is the hardest part

After Alice's announcement in the kitchen, I've been stressing big time. Tanya coming down wasn't in the books, the books weren't really clear on exactly how much Tanya really persuaded Edward. I keep hoping that she will be a 'lady' about it and respect Edward and mines mating.

I spent time with Rose while the others went hunting one day. She liked taking care of the kittens, it gave her happiness to care for something so helpless, she told me. I understand her totally, to me cats have always been like children to me, children you could leave alone for a weekend with a bowl of food, and plenty of water, no worries of a wild party when you come home.

I asked her questions about Tanya, and her attempts to get into Edwards boxers.

"Don't worry about her too much" Rose says to me while laying on the floor petting Kimba in her little bed.

"I can't help but worry," I start "I'm not worried about Edward leaving me for her, I trust him totally, its her attempts to seduce him that have me worried."

"Its Edward's fault you know," Rose says "he's just to fucking proper and nice to her. Tanya has always respected mated pairs, never go after men that are taken like that, unless they come to her." Rose winks at me. "But what guy wouldn't want to fuck something if they had to nail a two by four on their ass so they don't fall in."

I start rolling on the floor laughing, "Rose….fuck….that was funny!" I say while wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Yeah, I heard it once in a movie, and always wanted to use it." Rose says between giggles.

I'm going to take Rose's advice and try not to worry about it too much, god knows I don't need an ulcer, again, been there done that.

Edward and I spent time with Jasper and Alice working on my shield. They are trying to pin point what exactly what emotions are triggering the release of my shield.

"Anything Edward?" Jasper asks, for the millionth time it seems today.

Sighing and pinching his nose, "Nothing Jasper, just nothing like normal."

I'm starting to feel very bad, I wish I could control this. I wish right now I didn't ask to work on this. I feel like I'm failing everyone.

"Bella, stop that! Your not failing anyone." Jasper tells me, while sending waves of calm and reassurance.

"Thanks Captain," I say then salute him. Jasper just laughs a little under his breath. The guy can be a riot if he would only really let loose now and then.

This is so fucking frustrating! How was I able to do it during the attack, and then last week? What the fuck is wrong with me! I put my head into my hands.

"There is nothing wrong with you, love." Edward says.

I look up at Edward, "Now it looks like my verbal filter is gone too." I throw my hands up in the air and get up from the couch.

"Bella, you didn't say that out loud, love, I heard you! Jasper did you catch what she was feeling?"

"Yes, she was feeling extremely frustrated" Jasper tells Edward, then they both turn to me. "I'm going to try to amp up you." Jasper says

"Amp up me? Sounds like a bad pickup line Jasper." Alice and I giggle.

Both the boys roll their eyes at us, then shake their heads. I start feeling frustrated, and its not a pleasant feeling when you don't know why you feel frustrated. I look over to Edward and imagine my mind opening up like a space dock from Star Trek.

Mmm, Star Trek, Seven of nine was one sexy chick, I would totally do her.

Edward starts laughing, I'm looking at him like he is fucking nuts.

"What?" I ask

"Jeri Ryan rocks your world huh?" Edward says between chuckles.

My face goes beet red, I can't believe he heard that.

"I would go lesbian for her." Alice says dreamily. I lock eyes with Alice, and then we both sigh together.

The men in the room, are just shocked looking between us. Alice and I giggle at them.

Edward violently shakes his head, like he is trying to remove a mental picture. "Try again." he says.

I feel the frustration build in me, and I try and open my mind again.

I love you Edward, I love you Edward, I wonder if he is going to tell me if he can hear me or not? I look at Edward and there is no visual reaction coming from him Why in the hell can't he hear me now? I just love him so much, I want to do good for him.

Edward grabs my hands and says "You are doing beautifully my dear, I heard you again."

"Yeah me!" I sigh in relief.

We practiced more for the next few days and now I was able to lower my shield more easily, I still had to get frustrated it seems, but I can do it. I can't lower it for long periods, no more than a few sentences at the most, but I can do it.

When Kate gets here at the end of the week, we are going to try and see if I can push my shield out. Carlisle has told the Denali's that Edward has found his mate, but didn't include me being human. Irina and Laurent will not be coming, they are in Africa at the moment enjoying their newly mated status. I am relieved that Laurent isn't coming, I don't think it would be a good thing for him to know about me right now, he has no loyalty to the Cullens other than they spared his life, but doesn't mean I trust him.

Charlie has become a regular at the Cullen's house this summer too. Many nights Charlie and I have dinner in their home. I clued the Crew into doing it buffet style, that way they always say they ate before we showed up.

Edward and Charlie have gone fishing together, a lot. It's become habit for Charlie to grab some grub and head to the backyard and throw his line into the river while he eats. Edward has gone to the lengths to stock a lake that is on the families property and take Charlie there fishing. Charlie always comes home with bass and trout now, I'm really fucking sick of fish.

I got out of my trip to Florida for the time being, I told Renee basically there is no way in hell I'm coming to Florida in the middle of summer, maybe for Thanksgiving since there will be a better chance the temperature will be below ninety.

Things with the kittens are going good. They are all in good health and no longer hisses when any of us pick them up. Hell, Charlie is even in love with them and is more than willing for me to keep Fred and George. Since we all need those volunteer hours Edward, Alice and I are sharing taking care of them. We weigh them everyday, give them dry baths with some powered cat cleaner we got at the vet. Taking care of newborn kittens is not hearts and yarn, them being this young we needed to stimulate them so they would urinate and empty their bowels using a piece of gauze and some rubber gloves. When they reach around five weeks, you don't have to do that anymore, and we are counting down the days.

Now it's the night before Tanya and the gang show up. Charlie and I are eating dinner at the Cullen's when Alice comes up with a not so nice idea.

"Charlie, we have family coming in from Alaska tomorrow, and was wondering if you could join us for dinner again." Alice asks Charlie in almost seductive tone.

Charlie looks at Alice with a glassy stare, "We wouldn't want to impose when you have family in." Charlie says.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to take up family time for you all." I say trying to get out of Charlie being alone with twelve vampires, only seven I trust.

What the fuck is Alice up to? I push that thought out and look at Edward.

Edward shakes his head, leans his head in, and whispers in my ear. "No idea, she is blocking me."

Fucking evil little pixie.

"I wouldn't invite you if we didn't want you here, besides how many times have we told you," Alice says and rolls her eyes "Bella and you are family." She smiles at Charlie and pats his hands. "You don't want to hurt my feelings now do you Charlie?" Alice puts on her 'I'm going to get what I want' pout….wait for it…..there it is, Charlie is going, going…

Gone!

Charlie looks flustered once again.

"Alright Alice, we would be happy to come." Charlie says with a sigh.

After dinner, Charlie and I head home. On the way I keep thinking about how tomorrow is going to go. Bigger question is how fucking bad its going to go?

BETA-ED BY:KITTYFICTION2008

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