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Chapter Thirty-Six
To my delight, Edward did not continue his interrogation from earlier.
He also did not keep his eyes off of me.
I stood awkwardly in the middle of his living room, unsure of what my next move should be. Edward stood a few feet away, hands on his hips, deep in thought. The clearing of his throat forced my eyes to meet his.
"Come on," he instructed in a sweet, careful tone.
I blindly followed him into the bedroom and he thoughtfully handed me a clean shirt and boxers. I stripped right there; I didn't care that he was still in the room. Of course his focus and main concern was turning down the bed.
He turned off the lights and I crawled under the blanket and closed my eyes, squeezed them shut before I felt the mattress move beneath me.
He didn't ask.
I didn't tell.
So we slept.
No dreams; no thoughts; no regret.
I awoke an hour later to find Edward nuzzled into my side.
He's too good, I thought to myself.
He deserves better, I wanted to scream.
And so I left the bed to spend my time getting acquainted with his porcelain toilet, dry heaving while he slept peacefully.
Sometime later, Edward peeked in the bathroom, shielding his eyes from the sudden light.
"What's wrong?" he asked, voice gravelly and worn. "Are you okay?"
I was next to the toilet, sitting. Nothing and calm.
"I thought you had left," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. I nodded and watched him sit on the edge of the bathtub.
We sat
in silence
until I couldn't take it any longer.
"My mom isn't normal," I blurted out. Edward stayed silent but he was now alert. "She's...she's never been normal."
He stared.
Not a crazy stare, but just...blank.
"Sometimes she's really, really happy. It's so easy to be around her then. She's infectious when she's happy, you know? It's weird..." I trailed off and pulled my knees to my chest. I could feel his gaze burning into me and it left me unsettled.
"And then she just gets...sad, I guess. She cries. She buys a lot of shit. Pointless stuff like beads and hammocks and...and she likes to collect newspaper. I haven't figured that one out yet."
Edward listened.
"Sometimes she's angry." I paused. "Those are the times I don't really know what to do to help. When she cries, I let her cry. When she's happy, I laugh with her. But when she's angry?"
He waited.
"My dad claims that I'm enabling her." I shook my head in disgust at myself because I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. "I know it's true. I know I enable her. I'd be afraid of what would happen to her if I didn't."
And then he spoke.
"Bella?" I stared up at him, not bothering to wipe my cheeks. "I'm sorry."
'He thinks he's too good'. I heard my mother's voice, coated with disgust.
'He thinks he deserves better', she screamed as Charlie slammed the door.
That was the first night Edward held me as I cried myself to sleep.
A/N: Thanks for reading.