Dear Diary,
Okay, okay…..where to start….um. Blaise said hello to me today. Sweet Merlin that voice of his. He smiled at me. Brief yes, but it was still a smile. A genuine smile. I am so gone on that boy.
In other news, I'm keeping up my studies in the Dark Arts. Have to catch up to Tommy boy after all if I want to have any hope in facing him on even ground, let alone defeat him. I am so far behind him in the knowledge it isn't funny, at all.
How can they expect me to defeat him? How? Why? I still haven't been told why, despite their insistence that it will be me who has to face him. Dumbles keeps mentioning it in these meetings that he's been ordering me to. I cannot deny him, as he is the Headmaster. Should McGonagall be there with me? Is she not my Head of House? In Loco Parentis and all that? It's really very confusing.
I hate Sherbet Lemons by the way. I'm also refusing tea from the old codger. I wouldn't put it past him to dose me with potions. The things this magical world thinks they can get away with. They try to treat me like a child one minute and then expect me to handle adult stuff the next. You cannot have it both ways! Either I'm fully an adult or not at all. It's all so frustrating. And no, you cannot show that you are frustrated. Merlin forbid if you ever need help. It's all on you. You're a hero, after all, you're not supposed to have breakdowns or even emotions.
I'm going to bed before I do something I'll regret…..maybe.