And then the reviews began!
Keldeo The Critic- Nine in the Afternoon by Glory For Sleep
(Keldeo's point of view of course)
Well, I'm finally calm now.
So, lets review. Arceus is a big whiner and cry baby who loves soap operas, and Mew is kleptomaniac who's addicted to candy and likes horror movies. Good gosh, what was the author thinking? Did he even see the movies? I mean, come on!
Uh, Keldeo. . .
(Keldeo turned around fast and saw none other than Mew himself float over to him)
Oh my gosh! It's Mew! I can't believe it! Don't worry, I know this Fanfic is complete nonsense and-
I am a kleptomaniac.
. . . . .
What?
Remember all those toys I hoarded in that attic of Cameron Palace.
Oh yeah. . .
(Mew nodded)
Yeah, I just wanted to get that out there. . .so . . .um . . .goodbye!
(Mew teleported away)
Okay, so I guess I know where the author got the idea from, but Mew took those toys one by one! She wouldn't rob and entire store and kill a man's livelihood!
(Mew suddenly reappeared and shouted angrily)
That's right! I wouldn't do an awful thing like that! And I'm male, by the way!
(Mew teleported away again)
And I really doubt that Mew would like horror movies! Cloverfield? Really?
(Keldeo sighed)
Well, let's get on with it. Chapter 3-
"I saw it! It's alive! It's huge!"
"...Mew, that's your tail."
Oh yeah, that joke at the end of Chapter 2. I don't get it. Is that reference to Cloverfield? I never saw that movie, how am I supposed to get the joke? Or is it just to show that Mew's afraid of her own tail? I don't get it.
Oh my gosh, this fanfic's making me ask too many questions!
So, in Chapter 3: You're My Main Dude- what kind of title is that? Anyway, Mew and Arceus are watching the movie, and-
Arceus didn't know what was more horrific – the movie, or what Mew was doing while watching it.
The said cat Legendary screamed as she flew backwards from the TV, clinging to the first thing she could possibly hold onto – which happened to be the top part of Arceus' face.
Oh, come on! She's afraid of the movie? Then why did she want to watch it? I know, the point of horror movies is that it's supposed to be scary, but from what we've seen of Mew in this story, she doesn't seem like the type who should be allowed to watch horror movies! It's like having the Cutie Mark Crusaders play Gears of War.
(Keldeo gains a surprised expression)
Did I just reference The Elements of Gaming by Ryden and Xephfyre?
(Keldeo shrugged)
Eh. . .it's a good fanfic.
Of course, Arceus showed no signs of fright during the whole thing, as he had been forced to be one of the first to watch it after Rayquaza somehow managed to retrieve a copy.
Rayquaza got one? How? Did he go into a video store?
The Blockbuster employee looked at the clock. "Well, almost closing time-"
SMASH!
The man screamed in terror as Rayquaza smashed through the front door, his head filling the lobby. The huge dragon looked at the terrified man and said:
"Can I get copy of Cloverfield."
It doesn't add up!
Anyway, the whole scene is pretty predictable
"Mew," Arceus started once again when he felt Mew scoot closer to him, squealing in fear against his fur – and he was getting rather annoyed by her irrelevant fright towards a movie that showed a fictional situation, "it's just a movie; it's not real. Would you please relax?"
The catlike Legendary ignored him once again. Instead, she moved her head to the side to glimpse at the screen with one, large, fear-stricken eye, yelping when she realized that the main characters of the movie were now running for their lives down an army men-covered street, fleeing into a nearby subway tunnel entrance right as the colossal monster crossed over them with a stentorian roar.
You know, the scene where the monster's dog-sized minions chase after them all –
"RUN!"
Oh crap, it just happened.
Before Arceus could dodge, Mew slapped herself onto his face again, screaming herself as Rob and the others began to run down the tunnel in hope of escaping the aforementioned parasites that were attacking them.
You know, you could not narrate the events of the movie to us. Cause it's kinda weird to come in expecting a Pokemon Fanfic, and end up reading a Cloverfield Fanfic!
Arceus couldn't see what happened after that, as he was now flailing around, Mew glued to his face as she continued to yelp at the top of her lungs, which wasn't helping the God Pokemon's reoccurring headache. He continued to stumble all over the place, the extra weight to his face and the lack of his eyesight causing him to lose all sense of direction.
"Mew! Get off!" he roared, fearing at that direct moment that he was possibly on the verge of colliding with a wall. Mew paid no heed, too busy screaming to listen to his frustrated voice, which was coming out in a muffled manner since her body partially covered his mouth as well.
Henceforth the reason why he preferred soap operas.
"Save me, Arceus!" Mew pleaded, her loud voice vibrating throughout the God Pokemon's mind. He could only continue to flail around, lacking any clue to where he was going as he struggled to pry Mew off of his face.
So he continued to stumble around, mumbling out more orders for Mew to get off, and even throwing in a few reminders that it was all a movie into the collage of scowls that came with it. However, Mew still ignored him, screaming her brains out even when Rob, Hud, Marlena, and Lily had successfully escaped the dog-sized parasites by hiding in a staff room;
Oh yeah! See how they escaped from certain death! Aren't you relieved!
Portal 2 Announcer: Sarcasm Sphere Self-test Complete
though, she soon realized this, her eyes blinking in confusion and yelps for help coming to an abrupt stop. Arceus still stumbled around regardless that her hold on his face had loosened, and she soon let go altogether, floating back to her seat to continue watching the movie.
Meanwhile, Arceus continued to flail around like an idiot, unaware that Mew had left him; though he soon opened his eyes in the midst of stumbling around when he felt cold air touch the areas around his forehead again…
…and only to gasp upon noticing that a wall was right in front of him.
Smack!
Arceus smashed flat-face right into the golden wall.
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Silence.
Then:
"Here…comes…the pain…"
The God Pokemon stepped back upon mumbling those words, his hooves trembling as the predicted aftereffects of the collision shot throughout his entire front.
Yeah, that's right! The worlds most powerful Pokemon! He can stand up to anything!
. . .
Accept walls. A Hyperbeam? Ha! That's nothing! But walls! Oh boy, that's his one weakness.
Of course, Mew, oblivious to it all, just continued to watch Cloverfield, unaware of how Arceus toppled over in pain, his back hoof still twitching.
Eventually Mew noticed the lack of his presence, and turned her head to eye the darkness around her. She was unaware of Arceus' accident, having considered the strange and random thump that had come with it to be only part of the distant explosions emitting from the TV. "Come on!" she then called out to him, her voice back to being jumpy and overexcited, as if her prior fear had never existed since the movie's events had grown calm once again. "You're missing the best part!"
An incoherent curse from the darkness was the only response.
Little did the author know that Arceus wasn't cursing Mew, he was cursing him for writing this fic!
Arceus could only sigh as he struggled to get up before Mew showed any signs of wanting to help him. Then again, the pink Legendary was too preoccupied with watchingCloverfield, which, as Arceus reluctantly approached on aching, sore hooves, he noticed that it was the part where Rob and the others were climbing the sky-high apartment buildings in search for Rob's girlfriend, Beth, who was stuck on one of the top floors. Arceus grunted, happy that the movie was somewhat close to being over, and when the lights would come back on he would throw the DVD out the window before Mew even noticed.
(Keldeo had a pleading look on his face)
You know what any one of you could do for me? Write a Fanfic where Arceus reviews Cloverfield Nostalgia Critic style. Seriously, if I have to review this fanfic, I really should get something in return. So, someone just write that up, and please make it funny.
So, they finally finish watching the movie.
Mew was only an inch away from the screen, her widened eyes glued to it as if she was hypnotized. It was still at the part with the characters' helicopter on the verge of crashing, and therefore the camera's perspective was shaking like a high-magnitude earthquake.
A little while after that, the movie was over, though Arceus could only confirm the now-displayed credits through the corner of the screen since Mew's body had blocking it since the helicopter scene. He sighed in relief, quickly getting up, walking over to the wall, and turning on the overhead lights, which blared into his darkness-adjusted eyes and therefore caused him to cringe at the brightness. He then returned his gaze to Mew, who was still standing right in front of the screen, seeming to even drool slightly, and the God Pokemon behind her could only grimace at the sight. He grunted in annoyance as he approached her, muttering out in the midst of it: "Mew, come on, the movie's over."
No response.
Arceus arched an eyebrow, though his frown was strong with annoyance. "Mew?" he muttered, his voice louder than before.
No response.
"Mew!" It was a snap now.
Still no response.
"MEW!" Now a full-fledged roar.
No response. Wow, embarrassing.
Arceus snarled before walking forward to tap the Pokemon in the back with his hoof. Right as he was about to do so, though, she turned around, revealing her dazed gazed and drooling mouth as she then began to stumble around like a drunk person. Arceus gaped in bewilderment. What was wrong with her? She came closer to him, groaning slightly as if she was dizzy, and her skin maintained a light tint of green that could be seen through her fur.
The God Pokemon rolled his eyes. Whatever her problem was, it would probably all be okay as long as she wasn't –
Mew suddenly gagged forward, vomiting up the hordes of candy she had consumed before – and all over Arceus' hooves.
– motion sick.
I! Hate! Gross out humor! Does it even count as humor?
"Sorry about puking on you."
Arceus could only glare at Mew, who was sending him a nervous grin, having immediately recovered from her motion sickness gained from sitting too close to the screen an hour after regurgitating all over Arceus' hooves, which he was now cleaning in a bowl of water,
That's right, they have electricity, a refrigerator, and a plasma screen TV, but no bathroom or bathtub! He has to use a little bowl of water!
Because of this, he brought his gold eyes to Mew, who was now staring at him, her large gaze begging for forgiveness in the same way she had done before. And, as with the previous situation, Arceus couldn't stay mad at her with the way she looked so hopeless. Sure enough, if it had been Raikou, Lugia, or even Rayquaza that had given him the fun task of cleaning partially-digested material nourishment from his hooves, he would've forced Giratina to banish them to the somber pits of the Underworld without any objections.
However, for Mew, staring into her eyes made him conjure up an exception. Despite how much he wanted to kick, roar, or even brawl anyone in sight for the mere predicaments he had been put through so far, he couldn't bring himself to think of Mew as a possible source to take his stress out on.
Dear everything that could be associated with the word 'holy', what was wrong with him?
I don't know, ask the author!
You know, if this story had been a little more vague on what the characters were really thinking, I would've assumed that Mew or someone had made some bet or blackmailed Arceus so he couldn't get mad at Mew. That sadly makes a lot of sense.
Oh my gosh, this fanfic is so insane! There is nothing- I repeat- nothing, that could possibly more ridiculous than what I've already experienced.
Arceus grunted. "But it's not real. How can you be scared of something that isn't real?"
At that moment, Mew frowned as if she had been offended, and she jabbed her paw forward right in front of his face, causing him to display a look of surprise. "Oh yeah?" she then reckoned, eyes narrowed. "Well what if the 'fictional' world that movie took place in was actually the REAL world – and the world we live; the world of Pokemon – is actually just" – she looked around the room as if to think up of an idea – "I don't know – a worldwide successful video game franchise! And it has its own movies and various merchandise, and fans of it even write their own stories involving Pokemon!" She suddenly gasped in fear, holding her face between her two paws. "What if what we're doing right now is just a story being written by an obsessive fan?!" She squeaked, biting her claws as she began to shake in immense fright.
(Keldeo's facial expression is unlike anything you've ever seen. There are no words to describe the expression on Keldeo's face. It's shock, it's horror, it's disgust, it's indescribable.)
. . . . . . .
There's Bugs Bunny and there's Pinkie Pie. . . .
This is. . . . Pugs Pinky? I don't know!
This is like that infamous Pinkie Pie scene in Equestria Girls times 100! And she didn't even break the fourth wall in that scene!
Nobody breaks the fourth wall as much as Mew just did in this scene!
Okay, it's not bad, and it's not stupid, per say. But it isn't ingenious or amazing or innovative. It's actually kind of creepy.
Arceus stared at her as if she was demented.
Then his expression soon grew serious, and his stern voice came out with a scowling tone.
"Mew, that is the most ridiculous theory I've ever heard."
This whole fanfic is ridiculous!
Mew dropped her expression of fright, instead placing her paws on her hips in a scolding manner. "You don't know that!" she retorted.
Yes I do!
And what do the events of this chapter have to do with the chapter title? "You're My Main Dude"? Was that a famous line from the movie?
Oh, and we get a hilarious little scene from that movie in the Author's Notes! I don't want to spoil it, so read it yourselves! It's sooooooo funny!
Portal 2 Announcer: Sarcasm Sphere Self-test Complete
Okay, Chapter 4: The City is at War- oh, what now? Are we gonna play Half-Life 2 now? Is Mew gonna show Arceus how to stop the Combine from killing everyone in City 17? You know, that would exactly be much more interesting than watching. . .whatever the heck we've been watching during the last 3 chapters!
A childish giggle. "What should we do now?"
An aggravated sigh. "I don't know, Mew."
Mew floated around Arceus, who had just finished cleaning his hooves from emesis and was now inspecting them in the overhead lights' shine, searching for any leftover splatters that perhaps had survived the vigorous washing in the bowel of water beside him. His eyes narrowed as he scrutinized them, appearing more determined than a jewel-crafter who was in the middle of cutting a priceless diamond. He soughed in relief, mentally reminding himself to check in the bathroom later and see if there was any sanitizer he could spray on them.
Oh, there was a bathroom? Then why didn't he just take a bath? Would Mew be unable to come in while he's bathing? Uh, Arceus, you don't normally wear clothes.
So, Arceus wants to go to sleep after the utter torture he's been through, but the EVIL Mew isn't finished with him yet.
Arceus rolled his eyes in a frustrated manner, his anger dissipating since Mew had seemed unfazed by it. Instead he got up, as if contemplating on walking away, and, with a fatigued tone that fit a hopeless case, muttered, "I want to sleep, if you really must know."
"But it's only nine in the morning!" she suddenly retorted, her voice filled with its own hints of dissatisfaction. He stopped in place, cringing slightly since he knew she wouldn't've dropped the subject that easily, though he kept a face of reckoning as he turned his head to look at her. She was glaring at him with narrowed eyes, as if unimpressed that a God Pokemon could even give into his or her tiredness, despite that her expression then contorted into a look of bewilderment. "Or…is it nine at night…?" she wondered, placing her paw to her chin as she blinked in curiosity, confusing herself.
Arceus rolled his eyes again. It had been nine in the morning when she arrived at the Hall of Legends to stay with him, and, to her, time was always irrelevant, which was why she was clueless on telling it. "It's the afternoon, Mew," he simply scolded, narrowed eyes glancing towards the clock that hung on the wall behind the pink Legendary – the clock in which she was apparently oblivious to.
Mew snorted as she crossed her arms over her chest, raising her head as if she was a snooty person who had just been offended – a look quite ironic when her spunky behavior was considered. "Fine," she replied, short and firm, "it's nine in the afternoon then."
Ooh! Did you see that! A Title Drop!
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
"How about some music?"
Arceus' face fell into one of bewilderment. "What?"
"Music!" she answered, laughing as if liking her idea more and more every second. She twirled around his face, his eyes following her when she was in view, though he now displayed incomprehension as his aching head struggled to define her words – and what she was implying they should do in spite of them.
Oh great, now there's gonna be a song in this?
She didn't emit a following answer, as, after circling around his face a few more times to where he felt slightly dizzy, she floated off towards the room's TV, which had been moved to the corner after their viewing of Cloverfield. Ironically, behind the manmade device, there was another human contraption – a large stereo system that had been given to the Legendaries through Jirachi's wish-granting ability (and Arceus somehow knew that it had been Raikou who had convinced the star Legendary to fulfill such a need). The system sat on a large black table, each one of its shelves filled with stacked CDs that had been collected by the other Legendaries over time, including Darkrai's gothic rock bands, to Suicune's alternative. Arceus even had a few orchestra albums in the middle of the collection that had been brought to him as gifts, though he rarely listened to them due to his disagreement with loud sounds produced by any manmade group whatsoever.
What is with all the technology?! Do you really think Pokemon need all this human junk?!
Arceus dropped his head. Why? Just…why?
That's the same question I've been asking myself! It's actually funny, me and Arceus have been in agreement throughout the entire Fanfic! Speaking of which, this story seems to last for an eternity! And it just keeps getting worse and worse!
Though, when the music actually started, its electroniclike tune surging through the air of the Hall at a loud rate, Arceus just groaned altogether.
Meanwhile, Mew squealed in excitement, landing on top of the stereo system as she began to dance. She brought her eyes to Arceus, then calling out over the stentorian music, "Come on, Arceus! Let's dance! It's a great way to wake up!"
Arceus only rose his narrowed gaze to her, though she was too preoccupied with dancing to notice his obvious aggravation. "Mew!" he yelled out, his frustration getting the best of him as he longed for his headache to go away, in which the loud music wasn't helping with this task. "Turn it down!"
Mew didn't seem to hear him as she continued to move her body to the music.
Arceus snarled, infuriated. "MEW!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping that Mew would hear him – otherwise he might just lose it. "TURN THAT RACKET DOWN!"
To him, the music was everything but music – nowhere near the melodic tune the sounds of nature could bring to one's ears. Of course, Mew paid no attention this, still dancing on top of the stereo system.
Arceus was ready to roar and blow everything in front of him away to oblivion. However, he didn't follow through on that, but instead began to walk forward, straining in doing so as if the music was loud enough to push him back.
Now he's making a Rescuers Down Under reference! What's up with these obscure children's entertainment references! It's not like they're funny or clever or anything.
To his small relief, he eventually reached the music-playing machine, jabbing his hoof forward and hitting the 'stop' button, which caused the song to abruptly pause, the air to go dead silent, and Mew to stumble over herself, having been heedless to the God Pokemon's movements. She tripped over her footing, falling off of the machine and landing on the tiled floor with a small plop. She moaned in slight discomfort, rubbing her backside since she had broke her fall with it, and in the middle of it all rose her head to eye Arceus with curious eyes.
She met his furious gaze.
And gulped.
"W-what?" she asked, shivering in fright, Arceus' deadly glare so intimidating that she had lost all sense of firmness – and fun, for that matter. "Y-you don't l-l-like it?"
BOOOOOOOM!
THE END!
No, no, no, no. That's not the real ending, but I wish it was!
Arceus snorted, knowing that she was playing dumb simply because she was already aware that he hated human music – though she had forgotten this in the midst of her craving to dance to a catchy tune. He continued to growl as he stepped back, allowing her to get up and float upwards until she was right in front of his face. "I don't like that screeching humans dare call 'music'," he reminded her, tone strict and scolding. "Not that 'rock', not that 'metal', not that 'punk', not that 'emo', not that 'screamo', not that 'electronica', and most definitely not that 'hip hop'!"
Finally! He did something right!
Mew cringed, mentally noting that Arceus must've learned the various genres of music through conversations between the other Legendaries. This didn't ease any exhaustion however; it only seemed to make the God Pokemon angrier. She swallowed the stinging lump in her throat, trying to revert her eyes away from his.
At the sight of her saddened state, Arceus found himself faltering. His visible hatred gave into a look of guilt, as if he had just realized what he had done – how he had screamed at her with such harshness that it looked like he was the devil rather than God. Slowly, he stepped back, sighing heavily in the process, mentally cussing himself out for being so strict. Sure he was tired, and sure he hated human music, but none of his pet peeves were worth seeing Mew disheartened, as he had figured before when she had first arrived at the Hall of Legends, looking for a place to stay. He calmed himself down, his voice now soft, though still firm, as if belonging to an expecting father who felt sinful for scolding his innocent child. "It's okay…Mew…"
What the-?
Mew rose her eyes, which were slightly glossy, obviously surprised by his sudden change of heart. He turned his golden eyes to the floor as she remained silent, feeling no comfort, which was why his voice then followed with: "You can listen to music…just something not so loud."
(Keldeo stomped the ground)
Okay, this story should be called How To Turn a Kid Into a Brat. Mew is no way in any world, an innocent child! She's a brat who always gets whatever she wants! If a person in real life acted like this with their child, the news would be all over them, telling them that they're spoiling their child!
Oh, and check this out from earlier in this chapter!
In the midst of this uneventful moment, Arceus' brows came together as he pondered for what would happen if he did leave Mew alone. Would she wreak havoc all over the place among the act of finding entertainment? Or - Arceus smiled as this positive possibility of his absence swept through his mind, igniting every inch of his relief - or would she, perhaps, leave the Hall in search of fun elsewhere? The God Pokemon couldn't help but twitch the ends of his lips into a small smile. It was obvious that Mew would do this, as she was envious for fun, mostly staying with Arceus because his company ensured some sort of satisfaction while Mewtwo and Deoxys finished whatever they had been doing in their cavern home. But…with him gone…she would have to go to a different place – maybe Celebi's – in order to be amused. This plan made so much sense that Arceus was ready to smack himself in the forehead for not thinking of it earlier -
"Wait, Arceus!"
- or around a time where Mew didn't have the ability to throw it all off and flush it down the toilet.
No! It's not flushed down the toilet! Just pick Mew up, fly to Celebi's place, and drop her off there! Nothing stopping you! Why is Arceus such an idiot?
As if those were the direct words needed to make her feel happy again, the catlike Legendary squealed, regaining her look of pure glee. Arceus sighed again, despite that he forced himself to not give into his urge to smile at the happy expression upon Mew's face.
I thought he forgot how to smile? I thought he forgot what smiling was? I thought he forgot what it was called?
(Keldeo sighed)
So Muffy Crosswire, I mean Diamond Tiara, I mean Gen Stone, I mean Princess Elise, I mean Mew puts on some music by "Arbok Starship", ha-ha. It turns out to be the song in the Chapter Title, The City is at War.
Then the music began to play – a poplike song that talked about how a city was at some sort of war.
Arceus quirked his eyebrow, though he still appeared annoyed. However, this lightened slightly when Mew landed in front of him, directing her arms to the side as she then asked, "Wanna dance?"
(Keldeo moaned)
No. . .
"Will it make you happy?" he muttered, deciding not to say 'yes' altogether just for the sole purpose of avoiding sounding tender.
Mew grinned. "Yes."
Arceus narrowed his eyes, though he then nodded, slow and reluctant.
Oh my gosh, it's like that Twilight Zone episode, "It's A Good Life!" What, is Mew gonna send Arceus to the cornfield if he makes her cry?
Mew: You're a bad Pokemon! You're a very bad Pokemon! And you keep thinking bad thoughts about me!
Arceus: Not a jack-in-the box. Not a jack-in-the box. Not a jack-in-the box. Not a jack-in-the box. NO!
So, Mew teaches Arceus to dance. . .I cannot believe I just said that.
As if on cue, Mew squealed, twirling around him while Arceus began to regret his choice. Of course, he didn't have time to think about it before Mew grabbed one of his front hooves and pulled him forward until he was right beside her. Then, she took her place next to him, placing her paws in front of her as the music continued to play behind them. "Follow what I do," she told him, and he grunted, still sounding reluctant, hoping that all of this wouldn't be as disastrous as his thoughts were predicting it would be. She smiled as she pointed her paw forward, starting the dance routine.
He followed her command, keeping a strict expression as he did the same with his hoof.
She nodded, chuckling slightly before bringing her paw back, and then sticking out the opposite one.
He mimicked, despite how much he didn't want to.
She pulled her paw back in, bringing them both to rest at her sides as she rocked her head to the left, taking one step that way to match.
He inspected her with narrowed eyes, though he soon followed, finding it a little hard since he was a quadruped.
Humming with acceptance, she twirled around in a circle.
He followed.
However, as Arceus danced with Mew, or what he thought was dancing, he found his brows slowly rising, his frown dissipating into a curious line as a strange feeling filled his gut.
What he was doing…
…it was actually sort of…
…fun.
Before he could realize it, he had smiled, dancing with Mew, and displaying satisfaction in the midst of it all. Noticing this, Mew grinned in glee, turning to him so they could dance while facing each other, which was when she added a shaking of the shoulders to the equation of movement they had both invented. Arceus' smile grew slightly larger as he followed, moving in synch with her to the music – which, actually, when he thought about it, wasn't that bad.
Okay, Arceus is happy, he finally learned how to smile again, but Mew is still such a manipulator. All she does is act cute and sad like a little puppy dog, and she can get out of any punishment or discipline. And Arceus is following along with it like a dope.
Soon after, both him and Mew were dancing like participators in a club's disco room.
What a description!
Mew twirled around, performing the 'robot' style of dance, while Arceus grinned and mirrored her.
Arceus is doing the robot?
They pulled back, in the process laughing as if they didn't have a care in the world, still dancing in synch with both the music and each other, appearing as if they had been doing so for years. Soon enough, Arceus found himself able to sing along with the song entirely, memorizing its lyrics as it played continuously on the stereo system, and because of this he and Mew had begun to mouth the words as they emitted from the said machine, laughing in the process.
Arceus is singing?
Needless to say, the God Pokemon easily fit the description of an engorged fan at a rock concert.
He never remembered ever having so much fun!
Eventually, Mew and Arceus found themselves lying on their backs upon the tiled floor, breathing heavily from all the dancing they had done. The song continued to play in the background, but Arceus didn't mind – he liked it!
Oh my gosh, this is the ending to 1984!
Everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Mew.
"You know," Mew began once she had somewhat escaped from her laughing spree, "in the music video to this song, the band members were killing people by throwing pies at them."
Okay, that was a totally random fact. . .
Arceus freed himself from his cachinnation, and despite the fact that the music had helped aid him in taking his mind off of his hectic life, he couldn't help but find such a theme somewhat...childish. "Pies?" he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "How barbaric can you ge-"
He was cut off when something cold and gooey slammed into his face, the white substance sliding down his cheek, sticking to his fur, and filling his nose with the smell of banana cream. He turned his eyes downward when he heard the leftovers plop on the tile below, and put on a face of bewilderment when he noticed the familiar aluminum bin that usually held…
…a pie?
Oh, you are not serious.
Confused, he turned his head in Mew's direction, in which the thrown pie had come from. His eyes widened when he noticed that she was smirking at him – behind her a stack of at least thirty banana cream pies, which hadn't been there seconds ago and therefore he immediately asked, "Mew, where'd you get those-"
A pie to the face.
He growled slightly as he rubbed off the squishy material, now glaring at Mew, who was giggling at the sight of pie innards tangled with his facial fur. This aggravated him more, though he only hissed, "You didn't steal those from a bakery, did you-"
Another pie to the face.
"Damn it, Mew-"
Another pie.
"If you don't-"
Another pie.
"I swear I am going to-"
Another pie.
"If you stole those-"
I'll bet she did! I really bet she did! Since, you know, you didn't discipline her at all when she stole at that candy! Seriously, do you need me fanfic, cause you literally just proved the point I made in Chapter 2!
And why is she doing this? Because of the music? Yeah, that's a valid excuse!
"Why did you jump off that bridge! You could've died when you fell into the water!"
"Well, I was listening to my MP3 player, and then 'I Beleive I Can Fly' by R. Kelly came on!"
Of course, she suddenly regretted this when Arceus burst out of the piles of pies he had been trapped underneath, glaring at Mew with pure hatred drenching his narrowed eyes. He breathed heavily in a hulky manner, towering over Mew like a monster who gazed down upon its victim before consuming them. Mew squeaked, backing away, nearly tipping over a stack of pies when her back pushed against it. No longer did his pie-covered countenance amuse her, as it now only reminded her of a nightmare she had had one night after eating every chocolaty Swiss role in the Hall's kitchen. She contemplated on getting on her knees, begging for forgiveness and telling him that she had just been caught in the spur of the moment, and had gotten the pies from the Hall's kitchen's fridge, which had been filled with them since Entei liked to bake in his free time.
Oh, well that's a relief. She didn't steal them. But have you noticed a pattern here? Mew misbehaves, senses punishment, tries to act all cute and sorry as she begs for forgiveness, and then Arceus lets her off the hook. Doesn't the author realize how repetitive this is getting? Can't he mix it up a bit?
However, she soon felt a gooey substance slam into the side of her face, and upon recognizing the substance's feel and smell, she opened her eyes and licked some banana cream from the edge of her lip. Confused, she turned to Arceus, who was looking at her, eyes still narrowed, though a smirk had replaced his frown.
And a pie balanced itself on the edge of his raised hoof.
(Keldeo threw up his hooves)
You know what? With all the random stuff in this story, this really is the next logical step.
So they have their pie throwing fight, and the room is a huge mess!
"So…we should probably clean this up, huh?"
"We do have to clean," he muttered in a deadpan tone, eyes closed as if lecturing. Mew sighed in discontent, oblivious to how Arceus opened one eye, a smile following as he then added, "But who says we can't be entertained while doing so?"
Mew blinked in bewilderment, turning her head to look at him as he made his way across the pie-covered flooring and over to the stereo machine, which had been turned off in the midst of their pie fight. He hit the 'play' button, and "The City is at War" began to emit from the speakers, bringing Mew to grin in glee, floating towards Arceus as he turned to face her with a smirk.
Then, moving their bodies slightly to the rhythm, they began to clean.
So, it looks like Mew has taught Arceus how to have fun!
And by fun, I mean:
Mew: F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! N for no rules and no restraint at all! In the Hall of Legendaries!
Arceus: F is for finding a time and place for everything! U is for understanding consequences! N is for not going overboard! When you're-
Mew: Arceus! That's not what fun is all about! Do it like this! F is for friends who-
Arceus: Never! That's gluttony and danger!
Mew: Here! Let me help you!
(Mew starts throwing pies at Arceus)
Mew: F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! Try it!
(Arceus throws pies back at Mew)
Arceus: N is for no rules and no restraint at all!
Mew: In the Hall of Legendaries!
Arceus: I don't understand this. I feel so reckless and irresponsible! Should we stop?
Mew: No! That's how you're supposed to feel!
Arceus: Well I like it! Let's do it again!
Mew: Okay!
Both: F is for frolic through all the pie tins! U is for under the radar! N is for nonsense, craziness, and excess here with my best buddy!
And I believe that sums it up! But I wouldn't really compare Mew to Spongebob. I'd say she's more like the Borg of fun.
To Be Continued
...yes, in the music video for "The City is at War", they really were throwing pies at people. xD
Anyway, the next chapter, should have the cooking scene and other stuff.
Did the author just give us a spoiler? Well I'm too overwhelmed by all the chaos in this story to care. Well, I guess we'll see the worlds zaniest cooking show next time. Right now, I need to take a nap. I feel exhausted after reading this for some reason.
(Keldeo yawned)
See you later.
We'll be right back!
The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.