Since Rachel started performing, her dads have been recording all of her performances so that she could critique herself. Both her singing and dancing have been vastly improved by playing back her performances and pulling them apart so that later performances can be pieced together without the flaws.

It's a method that she has adopted for other activities as well. Cooking, baking, housecleaning, gardening, and various social interactions have all benefitted from the tried and true Rachel Berry method.

Obviously, her fathers don't record her 24 hours a day (she asked, they refused), and it is difficult to record oneself while completing the task that you wish to critique. It became much easier once she installed digital cameras throughout the house that are activated by a motion sensor. All feeds are relayed directly to her computer. Every night she reviews the various feeds and burns them to DVD, which are sorted by date and stored in the hollow spaces beneath her floorboards (thank you, Lane Kim). The files are then deleted from her computer. It wouldn't do for anyone to find the videos.

The first time it happens is an accident. She honestly had not been planning to have sex with Noah that day.

They were supposed to be working on a glee assignment, but his hand had been trying to make its way up her thigh all afternoon. After two torturous hours spent trying to resist him, she'd finally given in. And really, once she'd had that first orgasm, letting him give her a second seemed like the only logical choice.

It was only that night when she was going through her daily feeds that she realized that she hadn't thought to turn the camera off before engaging in the afternoon's activities with Noah.

She was absolutely horrified and about to delete the video when she noticed the way her leg looked in the video. This had only been her first time and Noah had seemed very pleased with the way the afternoon had gone, but on seeing this video she realized he had to have been lying. He couldn't possibly enjoy having her leg do that.

Rachel prided herself on her strong morals and ethics, and she knew that it was completely unethical to continue taping someone without their knowledge. But Noah had a stash of pornography on his computer, so he couldn't possibly be opposed to videotaping one's intimate activities. She'd just record their next few encounters until she was absolutely positive that he wasn't lying, and then she'd delete them all.

She'd tell Noah eventually, once she got better at having sex.

She doesn't understand. She's been recording her sexual encounters with Noah for three weeks now, and she is most definitely not getting any better. He keeps telling her how fantastic it is, but she just knows he's lying.

Sometimes, in the throes of passion, she forgets that she's supposed to be working on improving her technique. It's extremely hard to concentrate when he's inside of her, touching her and kissing her. It's become painfully obvious to her that these are the times when he has to put the most effort into his lies. There is absolutely no way that anyone makes those sounds while having good sex.

She just doesn't understand, because to her it feels fantastic.

In fact, the harder she tries, the worse it feels. Just last week, while trying to keep her foot firmly planted on the mattress so as not to do that unattractive thing with her leg, she ended up with a cramp in her thigh and a twisted ankle. She's not entirely sure what happened, but Noah had his hand on her thigh and had been trying to move it. She really, really doesn't understand why he'd try to move it when it obviously can't feel good to have her leg doing that.

Then all of a sudden her leg was cramping and her foot was twisted under his body. She'd started to cry because everything just hurt so badly.

The worst part was he just kept trying to make her feel better. He'd massaged her thigh and strapped an ice pack to her ankle and then sat with her while she cried and watched a Sandra Bullock movie.

Noah's going to break up with her, she just knows it. And he should. He should have a girlfriend who's not terrible at sex. Sex is his favourite part of any relationship.

Maybe if she just avoids him he'll break up with her sooner. She might as well take the heartbreak while she's still limping.

Puck's the world's biggest dick. He knows it and usually he's fuckin' proud of that fact. He's not proud of it right now.

He and Rachel have been going out for eight months. He knew when he started going out with her that she wasn't just gonna jump into bed with him. He was okay with waiting. He had a wicked case of blue balls, but he was waiting and trying not to be a jerk about it.

They'd been doing other stuff, so it wasn't like the boys weren't getting any action at all.

But when he and Rachel actually do it, it's kind of an accident. He'd been handsy all afternoon. It was kinda fun making her cave, but he knew where the line was. Or he thought he did, because once he'd gotten her off she'd given him the go ahead.

He didn't rush anything and it would've fuckin' killed him to stop, but he would've, 'cause he didn't want to hurt her.

But things went really well. Really, really well. Like if he didn't know that she was a virgin, he never would've guessed. He didn't think he'd ever had better sex. She was like a fuckin' sex goddess or some shit.

Or he thought they went well. Because every time they did it since then, Rachel had been all tense and jumpy. So he hasn't been pressuring her, at all. He doesn't make girls do things they don't want to do. He only goes on green.

But she keeps giving him the green light and he's not gonna turn down sex.

After last week, though, he's done.

She does this thing with her leg that drives him crazy. Like seriously, he's gotta work twice as hard not to just let go the minute she starts doing it, but Puck likes a challenge and it feels too fuckin' good to make her stop. Plus, he's a greedy bastard so when she's not doing it on her own, he tries to nudge her in the right direction.

He's got his hand on her thigh, but he's getting a lot of resistance and then Rachel's making this fuckin' awful noise like she's dying or something. And totally not in the good way. Not something you wanna hear when you're balls deep in a girl.

He pulls out and realizes that he's crushing her ankle and she's crying. He'd felt like the world's biggest asshole.

Puck figures it out pretty damn quick. Rachel's been all jumpy and tense because he's been hurting her. She's tiny and he's basically been assaulting her.

He gets her dressed and wraps an ice pack around her ankle and massages her thigh, making sure to keep his eyes trained on the bruise that's already forming. Proof that he really is a bastard. Then he pops in "The Proposal" and holds Rachel until she stops crying.

Santana was right. He's a fuckin' terrible boyfriend. She's probably going to break up with him. And she should. She should have a boyfriend who doesn't beat her up. Sex shouldn't be an extreme sport.

Rachel's been avoiding him, and he can't fuckin' blame her. But he's gonna go over there and apologize and hope he doesn't kill her just by walking into the room.

Puck goes over to Rachel's on Saturday afternoon. He knows that she has dance class, and he knows her well enough to know that she's going to suffer her way through dance class with her injury.

He also knows that if he went to her house while she was home, she'd find some lame ass reason for why he couldn't come in. But if he's already there, it's a lot harder to get him to leave.

He's totally bored just sitting in her room doing fuck all, but he just sits in her desk chair and rolls around looking at her stuff. He's just rolling past her Grease Barbies when the chair catches something and starts to tip. He manages to stop the chair from turning over 'cause his reflexes are awesome (have you seen his guns?).

When he looks to see what made the chair stop so suddenly, he notices that the floorboard is loose. Puck tries to put the board back in place but can't get it to fit. He decides to pull it out, straighten it and put it back in. When he removes the board, he finds a row of DVDs.

Rachel's dads are like the most awesome parents ever. They totally don't try to stop her from doing anything, so he's not quite sure why she has to hide DVDs. He starts to think something's off when he pulls one out. It says "Rachel, Gardening, 06/05/10". He pulls out DVD after DVD with Rachel's name, an activity and a date written across the front.

When he gets to one that says "Rachel & Noah, SI, 11/09/10", he gets curious. He plops the disc into her laptop and waits for the video to fill the screen.

He doesn't quite know what the fuck to think when a sex video pops up. He feels kinda dirty, actually. And not in the good way.

Rachel makes it through dance class, barely. As she drags herself through the door and up the stairs, all she wants is a nice, long, hot bath, some heat for her thigh, ice for her ankle, a cup of tea and some mindless television.

She's pretty sure she's not going to get any of those things when she opens her bedroom door to find a very angry Noah.

"What the fuck, Rachel?" Her eyes quickly flit around the room and take in the image on her computer screen and the open floor.

"I can explain." She says quickly.

"Oh, great. A batnuts explanation. Go ahead." He bites out. Noah sits in her desk chair and folds his arms across his chest.

"I know it was completely reprehensible to record our intimate activities, but I just…I'm sorry I'm so awful." Rachel lets her dance bag slip off her shoulder as she slumps onto the bench at the end of her bed. Her eyes start to fill with tears and she angrily wipes at her eyes. "It was an accident the first time, and I really meant to tell you. But then I watched the video and I just thought…I'll understand if you want to terminate our relationship."

"Thought what?" He asks as he slowly uncrosses his arms. She's so upset about it that he's not quite sure why she has it in the first place.

"Why would you lie to me, Noah?" Rachel asks desperately.

"What? I don't lie to you, Rach. You know that."

"I thought I knew that. Until this."

"Until what?" He shouts, frustrated.

"About how terrible I am at sex." Rachel says it all quietly, so he knows she's not purposely being insane. She seriously thinks she's bad at sex.

Puck slides the chair over slowly so he's right in front of Rachel. He takes her hands and looks at the top of her head, because she won't look at him.

"Rachel, you're not bad at sex. You're totally awesome at it."

"You're lying! I know you are. There is no possible way that you can be enjoying it. My leg keeps doing this horrible thing and you keep making these sounds. I keep trying to fix it, but nothing is working. I'm just terrible at it."

"Okay, that leg thing? Fuckin' hot. Hottest thing any girl has ever done to me. And I didn't hear anything on your little video that didn't sound like me enjoying myself 100%. Don't you ever watch porn?"

"Noah!" Rachel gasps, finally looking up at him. "That's disgusting! I would never stoop so low as to watch other people engage in sexual activities."

"Says the girl with the homemade porn collection. I feel violated, baby." He lifts his eyebrow at her as she giggles. He gets a little more serious suddenly. "I thought I'd broken you. Does it at least feel good?"

"Oh, Noah, you make me feel so wonderful. My whole body just becomes so consumed with you that I can barely concentrate. I just wanted to be better for you."

"Babe, we rocked it the first time. Chillax." She's finally stopped crying. Thank fuck. He legit hates it when she cries. He leans in and kisses her, holding her face in his hands.

"I promise I'll make it up to you." She tells him when they finally come up for air.

"You wanna make it up to me right now?" Puck waggles his eyebrows at her.

"Um…"

"What?"

"My thigh is still quite sore from last time, and I think I made it worse in dance class."

"'S'okay, baby. We've got all this porn to watch. It'll keep us busy all afternoon."

"Noah!"