Chapter Thirty-Six

After taking some time to collect themselves, Yosa'Min mostly just staring at the scales that had been on her body now cast aside on the ground, the pair of vampires decided it was best to press on once more. As they moved on, Yosa'Min sipping from a blood potion Serana offered to her, telling her that she'd be quite hungry after her transformation, the corridors around them took on a distinct pattern. Carved stone ceilings and walls, ancient and forgotten rubble and furniture, and clear signs of an epic battle raged on through the long halls and winding corridors. They could only suspect that all of this once belonged to those who came before the Volkihar clan in terms of inhabiting the castle. Serana was uncertain however as to why they had never moved in here though she suspected her mother might have had a hand in it.

They soon came across more skeleton guards, but Yosa'Min's movements were sluggish and drained, Serana having to dispatch the bulk of them on her own while reanimating the bones of the fallen once more for her own use. She seemed tense, the more Yosa'Min looked at her, uncertain if it was the lingering feelings of before, or the prospect of seeing her mother after centuries. What Yosa'Min also noticed, quite optimistically, was that they were moving up more than down now, taking them into the long since abandoned halls of the castle. Cobwebs and musk were as commonplace as the rubble that was slowly degrading with age, and each step they took upset decades upon decades of dust. To Yosa'Min's confusion, braziers and candles lit as they passed, making her wonder if there was some sort of trigger spell upon them but she was grateful for the orange glow they provided. While she could easily see in the dark, the growing lights helped remove the creepier aspects of the castle.

Occasionally, the pathways before them forced them to find entire alternate routes in order to continue, the ages having won some battles and collapsed the halls and stairways to make them impassable. Eventually they found themselves in another open area, though not as high roofed as the first, and it was relatively clean. Across the way there stood a gargoyle on guard, a chain behind it they both knew they'd have to activate in order to proceed. Not wanting a repeat of earlier, Serana carefully made her way towards the stone sentry, and placed a glowing hand to its brow. As she pulled the chain, moving a stone wall back to reveal their path, the terrifying beast remained asleep.

They pressed on, more braziers alight by magic as they passed, heading up a flight of stairs that seemed magical and yet eerie at the same time. A faint part of Yosa'Min's mind whispered of how this was much like her younger days of adventuring, but she pushed the thought aside as she looked to Serana. She'd never had a traveling companion so powerful for one during those days. Shafts of light broke the dark din of the castle from open windows to their side, high up and out of reach. As they made it to the top of the steps once more a gargoyle awaited them, and Serana stiffened as she spotted it too late and the beast began to crack with magic as it awoken. Yosa'Min ran forward and took in a deep breath.

"FUS RO DAH!" She shouted, waves of air and energy battering the still-stone being and shattering it into several pieces. Serana gave the fledgling a soft smile when exhausted eyes turned to her.

To their sides were two paths, one with a gate they could see skeletons skulking in a large chamber room with many walkways above it, and the other one a locked door. Instantly Yosa'Min was to the door, pulling a lockpick from her pocket that Serana had no idea how she acquired but wasn't going to question, and fiddling with the lock. After a minute it unlocked, the door swinging open ever so slowly and the pair crept within what looked like an armory, ancient blades and bows lining walls. The redguard gave pause, staring at one of the old bows of greenish hue before gingerly walking over and lifting it up in her hands. It hummed with whatever magic had kept it preserved for so long, and she tested it out twice before scowling. It was far too heavy for her liking and placed it back where it belonged.

The pair carefully made their way to where the armory rejoined the grand chamber, and Yosa'Min buried her dagger into the skull of a skeleton standing on guard nearby, killing it instantly. The sound of its bones clattering to the ground drew the attention of others, and before the vampires had even blinked an arrow zoomed past her face, grazing her cheek and drawing blood. With a hiss, the fledgling retreated into the armory while Serana rushed forward and pounced upon the archer. Bones still broke as easily as before and with a solid kick to the unprotected ribs, she cracked a pair before driving her own dagger into its face. She dodged the attack of a more well armored skeleton, rolling to the side of the swing, and shattered its knees to send it tumbling with stub legs down the stairs below.

Another skeleton charged the sire, Serana narrowing her eyes and vanishing in a plume of smoke and bats just before a blade would have severed her head. The skeleton looked about in confusion, before spotting the scowling vampire just as she blasted its body apart with spikes of ice. Wheeling around a corner, a skeleton made a chattering sound and took aim at Serana. Its arrow sailed through the musky air, and was caught solidly in a bolt of ice that plunged into the archer's chest and killed it.

A slow whistling noise came from behind Serana, and she turned around to see Yosa'Min grinning with approval. "You're quite the shot," she praised, a skeleton laying in a pile at her feet.

"Thanks," said Serana, smiling softly, "For having my back too."

"You're the one doing the heavy lifting now," simply said Yosa'Min before gesturing to the upper levels. "I think that's the way to go, ready?"

"So long as you've got your breath," replied Serana, "If there were time I'd find us a proper place to rest but Father could be suspicious of our absence, we need to move quick."

"He also could have heard all the shouting I've been doing," offered Yosa'Min as they began winding up the steps and crossing the stone walkway. They soon found themselves scaling further upwards, Yosa'Mind wondering just how big this castle truly was, and were in a small enclosed room with a long table and bones arranged upon it in a skeleton. There were several skulls, including a troll's, resting in a shelf at the head of the table and Yosa'Min frowned. "It would seem we were right about your mother," said the redguard.

"She probably collected and reanimated the bodies," agreed Serana, frowning softly, "I know my mother is a skilled necromancer but I can't believe those corpses are simply still alive... It has to mean she is too though, otherwise they would have gone out of control rather than remained like guards and traps." She sighed, "Or I could be wrong..."

Placing a hand on Serana's shoulder, Yosa'Min tried to comfort her. They started walking again, and within a few heartbeats found themselves before a massive set of doors. Behind them was nothing but gargoyles. "Oh gods..." Uttered Yosa'Min, paling at the sight of six carved monsters.

Obviously unnerved herself, Serana quickly began to regather her magic. "Just stay calm," she cooed as she gingerly made her way to the closest gargoyle. She pressed her hand to its brow, and it remained dormant. The sire approached the next, and had just begun to enchant it when a third awoke and the remaining ones stirred with explosions of stone and sound. Luckily, the second gargoyle did not. "Okay here's the plan!" Shouted Serana as she backpedaled from the third just in time to avoid a slash of stone claws. "These guys aren't too big," she said further, Yosa'Min ducking to the side from a swiping attack and slashing the side of the attacking gargoyle as she passed. "Try not to get hit and use them against themselves"

"I can do that," said Yosa'Min, leading one around a fairly clean table to keep it occupied just long enough to prepare a spell. Bolts of lightning erupted from her hand and struck it in the face, the gargoyle notably displeased with the assault and launched itself over the wooden table while Yosa'Min vanished in a plume of smokes and bats just before it would have pinned her. She reappeared behind it, and launched herself forward to attempt and pierce its stone skin with her blade. The fount of blood that erupted from the back of its head was rather satisfying. That satisfaction only lasted a moment longer before Yosa'Min was knocked off the dead gargoyle and into a bookcase that shattered upon impact. Stars swirled in her vision and it took her a minute to get rid of the blurring filling it.

The sire danced around another gargoyle, tricking it into attacking its fellow in the tight space and sent a trio of ice spikes just deep enough into its stone surface to strike flesh and make it bleed. She held a hand out, a red swirl of magic reaching out to envelope the gargoyle but she quickly stopped as it seemed the stone did more than make it hard to harm but resistant to such as spell. She lured the snarling pair of gargoyles to the massive doors they had entered from, and like dumb animals they lunged together and were quickly sent sideways into the door itself by an arc of lightning from a frowning redguard. They crashed one on top of the other, and began to attack each other in fury for interfering with their fight. To Serana's delight, they destroyed one another.

The gargoyle that had dazed Yosa'Min was on top of the table, hissing as stone eyes glared at them. "Come on!" Taunted Yosa'Min, twirling her dagger in hand. It obliged eagerly, and she rolled forward and twisted to slash her dagger up its chest as it went head first into the already destroyed bookshelf. The gargoyle obliterated its remains and created a hole in the stone wall before it crumbled like the statue it should have been.

With a furious cry, the sole gargoyle that wasn't rubble or stone rushed forward and caught Serana's flank before she could avoid it. Claws tore gaping holes in Serana's already well damaged cloak, and the nord vampire hissed with disapproval before sending one spike of ice after another into its chest. Yosa'Min quickly slashed at its wings, tearing ribbons of blood free from the only soft exterior portion of the being. The gargoyle thrashed in fury and knocked the redguard back, causing Serana to fight with a hint more fury. Blood was trickling out of Yosa'Min's mouth but she ignored it for now, and instead held her hands about three inches apart and muttered a stream of words as a ball of lightning gathered between her fingers. It consolidated into an orb, before shooting forward to strike the seething creature through the chest, a searing hole big enough for Serana to stick a hand in punched through it. With a heavy sound it fell ground and collapsed, still as it was before.

Chests heaving with effort, Serana glanced over to Yosa'Min who simply waved a hand dismissively of the concerned gaze of her sire. Serana gave a nod, and turned to inspect the room they'd fought their way into. There was a set of elevated platforms in the room, one with a coffin and shelf and the other a pair of chairs and a fireplace with long rotted wood resting in its place, ashes stirring around it. The elder vampire frowned softly. "This... It looks like she was staying here..." Said Serana slowly.

"Was she ever gone for a time and you not know where?" Asked Yosa'Min sitting down with exhaustion. All she wanted was an hour of rest to regather herself.

"Fairly often, both my parents valued their privacy," said Serana slowly, "I just never imagined she was this close..." She gave a firm shake of her head, looking around the place with a critical eye. "But this isn't all, I'm sure of it. This is too open, too easy to find if you went looking. Try and look for a hidden switch or something," suggested Serana as she poked her head in the area with the coffin.

Giving an agreeing nod, Yosa'Min began to investigate the area with the fireplace, noting how the ashes were slowly shifting from some force. She arched a brow curiously, and ran her hand along the edge of the fireplace. She could faintly feel the cool touch of wind. "Check this out," she called over, drawing Serana's attention as she began to check the mantle for some hidden lever when her hand fell upon the candlesticks at the side. Giving them an experimental twist each, she was delighted when the left one turned clockwise and the stone backing of the fireplace moved away, moving up into the rest of the wall with a small bit of noise. "Classic," breathed Yosa'Min with excitement.

"Indeed," agreed Serana as she stepped through, a corridor that continued to rise and twist before them. Curiously, on the ground, there was a line of random objects that followed the path. "She... She left a trail!" Said Serana with her own burst of excitement. Before the Dragonborn had even blinked, Serana was running up the winding steps, Yosa'Min struggling at first to catch up with her. After turning around four or so times, they were at a door, and Serana was staring at it with apprehension. "Yosa... She could be in there..."

"Only one way to find out."

Swallowing her nerves, the vampire pushed the wooden door and stepped through, Yosa'Min at her heel. They emerged within a large chamber, the sides raised with one overlooking the rest while the other went into another room and a small alcove. In the center of the chamber was a small depression, rings going down it until they reached the center, small candles lining the edges. A chill ran down Yosa'Min's spine as she inspected the room from the door, almost as if afraid of venturing inside. There were cobwebs everywhere, up in the rafters and down on the floor, clinging to the walls and shading the windows. No one had been here in centuries.

"Why...?" Softly asked Serana, disbelief and disappointment rocking her to the point she needed to touch the wall to support herself. "She should be here!"

"This was a wild guess," said Yosa'Min in an attempt to comfort her. "Obviously she was here at some point though. Perhaps she... Perhaps she left some kind of clue? Something only you could understand?" Suggested Yosa'Min, placing a hand on the sire's shoulder. After a minute, she saw the same resolve that seemed ever present rise back up, and with a stiff nod she pushed off the wall and began to look around. There was an alcove of bookshelves that were filled well enough with dusty tomes and scrolls that were most likely alchemical recipes. Yosa'Min found herself attracted to a bright red book while Serana was investigating a table covered with ingredients and instruments. Pulling it from the many books, she dusted it off before opening the thin book. "Serana!" She shouted with alarm, rushing over to the startled vampire. "It's her journal!"

Virtually snatching it from Yosa'Min, Serana began to desperately read over the words inscribed. Time had nearly eaten them away entirely, leaving nothing but faded black ink and worn parchment but the nordic vampire understood well enough. "She.. She could tell my father was going crazy, kept throwing herself into her work more and more but... Oh..." She spoke, "She wanted to get into the Soul Cairn?"

"What's that?"

"Where souls go, well ones that are captured in soul gems," she explained as she quickly read more, hastily flipping the page. "She succeeded but... Not entirely. The Ideal Masters? Are they who I think they are?" She was mostly speaking to herself, Yosa'Min straining to see the pages but with Serana's height it was nigh impossible to read over her shoulder. "She kept sacrificing people to talk to them," Serana hissed now, nearly slamming the book closed if it didn't hold the potential for answers. "I thought she was better than him! She was trying to escape through a portal into the Soul Cairn, and she succeeded."

"What, how?"

Serana placed the book down upon the table, revealing a list of ingredients though they were missing the measurements. "Finely ground bone meal, purified void salts, soul gem shards... And her blood."

Frowning, Yosa'Min stared at the listing. "Her blood?"

"Her blood." Serana's claws were digging into the wooden table, her arms shaking. "Which we don't have."

"What... What about your blood?" Suggested Yosa'Min slowly, Serana looking at her with confusion. "Well I mean, you're her daughter so it's pretty much the same thing isn't it? Plus you were made a vampire just like she so that shouldn't be a problem either."

"That... That could work." Giving her a smile, Yosa'Min nudged her slightly. "Yosa... That might just work," Serana's voice rose with hope, and she hugged the redguard tightly before pulling back. "We need to find these ingredients immediately! She probably has some still left." Without another word the pair split, scouring over the laboratory searching for the ingredients. After some time, having to look through every nook and cranny and sort away the many ingredients Valerica had left behind, they'd managed to scavenge the items up from the area and stood on the balcony overlooking the rest of the chamber. A silver bowl resting on the stone railing, the summoning circle just down below. The three ingredients found within the laboratory rested inside the silver bowl, awaiting the last one to activate the portal. Serana however, seemed hesitant.

Looking at the vampire besides her, Yosa'Min gave a soft smile. "Are you ready?"

"Yosa do you realize what we're doing?"

"Honestly? No," said the redguard, "I understand that we're trying to open a portal into a place souls go, and that we're looking for your mother but everything else... It's a blur of things that go over my head."

Staring intently at her, Serana gave a heavy sigh. "The last pages in her journal talked about leaving away forever... and sealing me away. She... She didn't want me to be with her, she didn't want to bring me along or cared about if I would ever wake up and I can't figure out why."

"Perhaps it's dangerous."

"Or maybe because I was blind to who she really is. These notes... They're so telling of a more bitter side I rarely saw. I know she was no saint but... I'm afraid I was nothing more than a pawn between them than an actual child. Before she sealed me away I was so loyal to her I didn't second guess what we might be doing to my father. By fleeing him, we might have turned him into the true monster he is... Or maybe that was going to happen anyways. I just don't know what to think anymore. If she kept all this a secret from me than what else?" Pain filled her voice, and she gripped the railing before her. "Am I just playing their game by trying to find her? I bring her back and she overthrows father or he kills her? I'd like to think that this is my own choice but what if once more they've swayed me like they always did?" She hissed. "The Soul Cairn was supposed to be a theoretically place, no one knew for fact it even existed and here I am debating following her to what could be my death and yours too for what? Their game! Their lies and betrayal?"

"Serana..." Said Yosa'Min, reaching forward and taking her hand. "I know how easy it is to be manipulated by those you love," she said slowly, the brunet not meeting her gaze but instead focused on the silver bowl. "You want to do the right thing and it's not easy to tell what is... But even if they're using you, what matters is why you're choosing this. What do you really want?"

The elder vampire was quiet for sometime, obviously dwelling hard on the question and Yosa'Min patiently awaited the answer. When eyes rose to meet her, burning with determination, she spoke firmly. "As much as I love and miss my mother... All I want to do is protect you. I'm tired of their games, and if they want to play them then fine... I just want to keep you safe."

Smiling, Yosa'Min squeezed her hand. "Then this is your choice." Obviously grateful, Serana gave a firm nod of her head and raised her free hand to her mouth, biting just enough to break skin upon her wrist and held it over the bowl. A singular drop was all it took for a ball of purple energy to form above the summoning circle. Lightning cracked outwards, violent, terrifying, powerful. The stones of the circle began to shift, rising up like floating steps as the ball collided with the circle, a portal of purple light forming with energy shedding off it in powerful pulses. Slowly, they stepped down the steps and into the portal. Everything faded with a thunderous explosion of light and noise. Yosa'Min holding onto Serana's hand and refusing to let go as they were enveloped in chaos.

Black.

That was all she saw, and all she sensed; darkness. It was terrifying and suffocating, an acrid taste filling her throat and threatening to smother her entirely. She thrashed against the powerful void, struggling to remain free of its strong grip. Fire burned across her body, bursting forth from her neck in two points. She panicked as parts of her grew cold in the wake of the painful sensation, the lifeless remains of ash. Fearing she was at the end, that death had come for her at last to claim her soul, Lydia turned her thoughts to those dear to her, wondering what would become of them in the wake of her demise.

Guilt and shame washed over her as Yosa'Min filled her mind, a spicy fragrance and crystal water mixing with the softness of shadows. Despite it all, everything Lydia had tried, she felt failure upon picturing her transformed thane. It would seem she was nothing but a joke housecarl, unable to keep her thane out of trouble for even a moment. Perhaps it would have been best that she had walked away that night in Whiterun, left all this pain and nonsense for someone else to figure out. Her life would have been much simpler had she just said no, or been more strict with the woman. As much as she'd grown to care for her, there were limits even still and she never wanted to become a mother to a grown woman. Memories of pleasant times however, began to stream into her dying mind and she felt herself laughing sadly at the realization that she never would have met Iona if not for Yosa'Min.

As her thoughts drifted towards the fellow housecarl, Lydia felt a surge of mixed emotions overwhelm even the numbness she felt as she drifted into death's embrace. Frustration, regret, confusion and uncertainty intermingled with joy, laughter, trust and attraction. Picturing that beautifully brilliant woman, hair of fire and eyes of emeralds, brought a rush to Lydia she'd never felt before. Most of her life she'd never thought she could feel this way for someone, but Ionsa just had to prove her wrong. When once she couldn't explain it, laying there at death's door, Lydia couldn't help but laugh at the cruelty of never being able to tell Iona how she truly felt. She was content however, to replay the one night they were honest with each other in her mind until Sovngarde took her.

Embracing death with dignity, Lydia hadn't been prepared for the blinding light of life as it reclaimed her.

Everything surged forward to consume Lydia all at once; touch, breathing, smell, sight, warmth, every base instinct and function rushing over her. She lay there, panting as she began to get her bearings, sweat dripping down her brown. Hazel eyes raced across the stone brick walls that were decorated with bookcases and magical artifacts. Though she knew this place well, it took her a few moments to realize she was in the College of Winterhold.

She was also not alone.

Lydia started when she noticed a blanket-covered form resting in the chair besides her, their face obscured due to their head having slumped to the side. However, Lydia could not forget the owner of hair as vibrantly red as that. Gingerly, Lydia reached out, her body aching with the effort but she dismissed it. While she was not dressed in bandages, the brunet wore little more than smallclothes, confusing her as to what injuries she had sustained exactly. She could vaguely recall what happened, a blur of images and a searing pain her in her neck confusing her.

Iona quickly awoke upon Lydia's touch, green eyes staring widely at the brunet before a tremendous smile dawned her face. "You're awake!" Before Lydia could say a word, Iona had leaped forward and pulled Lydia into a fierce hug. There wasn't a moment of hesitation before Lydia returned it, wrapping her arms around Iona and holding her tight. It felt like an eternity and yet it wasn't enough for Lydia when Iona pulled back. "By the Nine I'm so happy you pulled through," breathed Iona, lingering near Lydia before stepping away entirely. "I should let the others know."

"Wait!" Called Lydia, desperately reaching after her. "Could we talk first?" Iona hesitated, before giving a slow nod and walked back to the seat she'd been occupying. "Thank you."

"What do you wish to discuss?"

It took every bit of nerve Lydia possessed to speak what she desired, anxiety roiling her stomach but the reminder she had been so close to death was enough to make her brave it. She could wait in the unknown no longer. "When I passed out, I could have sworn you'd called my eyes beautiful... Did you?"

Iona tensed quite visibly, taking in a raggedly short breath as she hesitated. It dragged on, Lydia painfully awaiting an answer until at last it came. "I did."

"Did you mean it?"

Iona stared intently. "Yes."

Swallowing, Lydia struggled with her words. "Then do you... Are you afraid?"

"Of what?"

"Of us, of trying? I can't deny it any longer, I care deeply for you and not in a platonic way," she confessed, heart beating fast in her chest. Her ears were burning and she was afraid she might slip back into the darkness as she struggled to breathe.

Iona chewed on her lip for a minute, before she sighed. "Because I'm afraid of what happens when I have to choose between my duty... and you. It's not that you're a woman, I've accepted those facts and what they mean. What I fear is when my affections make me do something against my oath." Iona ran a hand through her hair, voice shaky. "Already I've had to strike Yosa in order to protect you! What happens when keeping you safe means killing her?"

Tenderly, the brunet placed a hand upon Iona's knee. "It won't come to that."

"It almost did."

Lydia frowned, and gave a slight squeeze to Iona's knee. "But what if it doesn't? Are we supposed to live our lives based upon what if's and may be's?" Iona met her gaze. "Iona, I don't want to miss what might be the best thing in my life because of fear. For years I've been nothing more than a housecarl, and before that a housecarl in training. I've honored my oath and my thane but that was all I had in my life. Take that away and what am I? I want more. Do you want to be more than a housecarl, more than a mage, or a warrior? Simple things that define us when we could add so much more to our lives. I want more than that."

Green eyes stared intently at Lydia, taking in everything she had said. Time stretched on to near infinite when Iona spoke. "Well... how about... a lover?"

Lydia's heart skipped a beat, and her hand slowly moved up to Iona's. "Truly?" She asked, staring into burning green eyes that made her insides writhe.

Stepping up from the chair and resting upon the edge of the bed, Iona at last swallowed her hesitations. "You're right, about what if's and may be's. I will get nowhere if they are my guides in life."

"So you're willing to try?" It was a soft spoke question, as if somehow Lydia feared a change of heart from the redhead. The answer came in a pair of lips tenderly meeting her own, timid and shy yet Lydia could tell it was not with reluctance. She returned the kiss, a hand rising up to cup Iona's cheek as it deepened. Slowly the pair shifted, Iona slipping onto Lydia's lap and spread their lips to encourage curious tongues. hands grew adventorous, roaming over skin and curves. Eventually they separated, skin flush and breaths short, eyes staring into one another.

After a moment, Iona leaned in whispering, "I am."