(Author's note: I apologize for this chapter being both so short and so late, but I figured you'd been waiting long enough, so I'm posting what I have. Summer is an unpredictable time for writing. I haven't given up on my goals yet, though. This chapter is full of quoting from the episode, with several tweaks. Next chapter begins Dream On, and will shed some light on what's going on with Sarah. Enjoy! -amy)

Episode 1.18: Laryngitis, Part 4 - Kurt, Carole, Puck

"Mr. Schue? I'd like to get us started." Kurt leaned on the midwestern twang as best as he could. "I think I've finally found a song that expresses my true voice."

The expression Mr. Schue wore on his face was partially vindicating, but mostly depressing. Kurt wanted to yell at him on Toby's behalf, to say completely inappropriate things that had nothing to do with their teacher-student relationship. You've both messed up. He deserves another chance. And, especially, right now he needs you more than ever.

Toby hadn't gotten specific at dinner about what was happening to him. Maybe it was because Sarah had been there, and maybe because Kurt himself was still just a kid. Kurt didn't blame him, either way. But Kurt had seen the sick, frightened look on his face when Toby had said Will's scared, and I don't blame him. He was pretty sure he knew what that had to mean, and it scared him, too.

But here they were in the middle of the choir room, and none of that was okay to talk about at school. Not with Mr. Schue, his teacher, even if he was also Mr. Schue — Will — his friend Toby's boyfriend.

Mr. Schue was giving him a measured look, and his only response was a bemused, "Okay."

Kurt nodded at the bassist and drummer from the jazz band. "Gentlemen?"

They hadn't needed much in the way of rehearsal for "Pink Houses," but when Kurt had called them last night after Toby had gone home and explained what he'd been thinking about doing with "Rose's Turn," both Peter and Jason had declined to accompany him. He was pretty sure he was going to have to use a karaoke track. Maybe he could persuade Lauren to help him hook up the sound in the auditorium again.

When Peter had asked, "Why isn't Finn playing for you? Aren't you guys, like, friends now?" Kurt had panicked a little, but he'd managed to stammer something reasonably believable about Finn being nothing more than a barely tolerable nuisance in his father's life. He wondered what Peter had seen that had led him to call them friends. Maybe Kurt had made the mistake of hugging Finn in the parking lot, or smiling at him a little too hard within sight of the general student population, or something like that. He was going to have to be more careful.

Finn hadn't called him last night, but Kurt hadn't really expected him to. After driving back from Westerville and stopping at Carl's, he was likely exhausted. Kurt had received a cryptic text from him that morning, though, saying Puck had a tough night, but I think he got what he needed. He hadn't offered any clarification.

Now Finn was watching Kurt with guarded curiosity, smiling and nodding in time as the drums started up. He hadn't heard Kurt rehearsing, but Kurt knew he understood the music wasn't the most important thing in regard to this assignment. Kurt forced his voice into a growly parody of Mellencamp's classic good ol' boy sound.

There's a black man with a black cat livin' in a black neighborhood
He's got an interstate runnin' through his front yard
You know he thinks that he's got it so good
And there's a woman in the kitchen cleanin' up the evenin' slop
And he looks at her and says, hey darlin'
I can remember when you could stop a clock

Puck was watching him with such bemused concentration that Kurt had a hard time staying in character, but he managed to keep going through the first refrain. The tentative applause that followed told Kurt most of the rest of Glee club didn't get it either. At least Finn, Puck and Brittany were smiling, but he was pretty sure they would have no matter what.

Kurt fixed his eyes on Mr. Schue in the front row, sauntering up to him. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Schue?"

"I don't really think you got the point of the assignment," Mr. Schue said. He looked bitter. "This was about finding a song that expresses who you are. That song didn't really sound like you."

Kurt sniffed. "Well, I'm sorry if I didn't live up to your expectations."

"No — this group needs you to be you, Kurt. You can literally do things that no one else can."

Like you suddenly think you understand me. The anger burned, hot and sudden inside him, but he kept his voice quiet. "I'm not a box. There are more than four sides to me." Even without a Top or a bottom, I'm still worth something.

Mr. Schue shook his head. "Don't lose track of who you are just because it might be easier to be somebody else."

It was the kind of patronizing teacher bullshit Kurt would have expected to hear from Mr. Schue, but it still stung. He couldn't contain all the parts of himself in a box without a bottom or a top, but nobody was going to see who he was if he tried to contain it all, either. He turned and walked away as Mr. Schue called for them to take five.

"Kurt." He turned back to see Britt jogging over. "That song was hot."

"Yeah, well, it didn't exactly accomplish what I wanted it to."

"But you haven't done the other song yet. The one you and Toby rehearsed. Isn't that the point? The difference between the two?" She smiled. "And who says a box has to be a rectangle, anyway? Can't it be… I don't know, star-shaped? You can have all the sides you want."

"Merci, Britt," he murmured, smiling back. "I should have known you'd get it. When are you and Mike going to do yours?"

"I haven't convinced him he won't drop me yet. Even if he does, it happens all the time in Cheerios." She shrugged. "So I was wondering if you still had that green couch. You know, in your basement?"

"For now. I'm having a hard time imagining getting rid of it, at this point, even if we don't really have room for it anymore." He cocked his head. "Why?"

"Because you looked like you could need a little company. Gypsy, after Cheerios practice on your couch, you and me and a bowl of popcorn?" She gazed at him through her lashes. "You can tell me all about those other sides you keep hidden from the world."

"Okay." Britt was definitely flirting. That was nothing new, although she hadn't tried that with him since they'd been in middle school. It was puzzling, but Kurt had learned a long time ago it was best to take Britt at face value. "I'm not sure what's going on with Finn after school, but Noah will be having dinner with his dad."

She looked at him disdainfully. "Puck doesn't have a dad."

"He's working on it. But — yes. Gypsy. That sounds nice."

Puck ended up being whisked away by Mercedes before Kurt could check in with him. All he got from Finn was another text: Rachel needs a reality check about what's important, so I'm going to get her one. I took a video of your performance. I'll call you later. There wasn't much Kurt could do about it other than send a quick acknowledgement, along with a mention that Britt would be over at his house after practice. It wasn't like Finn needed to know every detail about what Kurt was doing. Cheerios was getting more intense with each practice. Not to mention it wasn't easy to switch between his Mellencamp persona and his cheerleading persona. It was good to get a break from having to try so hard.

Britt listened in silence while Kurt called Puck on the way home. When Puck didn't answer, he tried Mercedes' phone, but that went to voice mail, too. Finally he sighed and tucked his phone away.

"When Santana's on her period, she gets pretty pissy," Britt confided. "And when we're on it at the same time, we get downright mean. But you guys don't have that problem. So what's the matter?"

"Besides the fact that we can never find one another?" He shrugged. "I think sometimes it's hard to remember, when it gets complicated, that we really still want the same things. Just a couple months ago, we were saying I love you for the first time, and it felt almost impossible that it could be true. And now, we're all so wrapped up in other things, other people. But when we're together, it's just as good as it ever was. It's better, really, because we know each other better."

"Five people is a lot of knowing," she said solemnly.

Kurt knew better than to try to lie to Brittany, but he couldn't avoid blushing as he nodded. "You know that's a secret, right? That there are five of us?"

"You and Puck kiss at school," she recited, like it was something she'd memorized, "but not you and Finn or Finn and Puck. Puck talks to Max on the phone. Finn has a secret he never will tell."

"That's it." He exhaled, then giggled. "Sometimes we do kiss at school, the three of us."

"Only when nobody else is around. Because then, it doesn't make a sound." She put a finger to her lips. "Silent kissing."

Kurt's house was empty when they arrived. It was a little strange not to have Sarah there in the kitchen, but the note on the white board calendar in Sarah's marker color said Dinner at Frances'. Kurt took a bowl of grapes out of the fridge, wrote Do not enter under any circumstances, I am making out with a girl in the space under Sarah's note, then gestured for Britt to follow him downstairs.

"It's funny, being here again." She touched the walls with gentle fingers as they descended the half-staircase to the ground level. "When we did Single Ladies down here, I realized you'd painted. Wasn't there wood paneling before?"

"Not since my mom was alive. I think it was white for a while after that. This used to be my playroom when we were kids, but when I convinced my dad to get new furniture, we just moved it down here." Kurt looked over the basement room, the green couch, the big heavy wooden coffee table, and fought down a wave of sentimentality. "And now… things are so different. Everything. I barely feel like a kid at all anymore. I mean, god, we all went away for the weekend together, the five of us, and my dad and Carole and Sarah. Noah's brother, too, and his boyfriend." He gazed across the room at the doorway to his bedroom. "Max stayed in that room, my room, with me and Noah. Last week, before we left for vacation."

Brittany looked impressed. "Yeah? I didn't know you did that with other people's boyfriends."

"He's my boyfriend too, Britt. Like me and Finn and Noah."

She tugged him down onto the couch with both hands, so he was seated close beside her. Her skin was warm, and her bare thigh against his felt smooth and strange. "Puck has a lot of people. And you do, too."

Kurt put an arm around Britt's waist, chuckling. "I don't know who has more, Finn or Noah. It depends on how you count them. Like, does Mercedes count? They're not doing anything."

"I saw Puck kiss her in the hallway," Britt pointed out. He watched in fascination as she swept her hair back into a quick bun and tucked under the ends. "On the cheek. That's something."

"Yeah, but… honestly, compared to everything else we're doing?" He shrugged, resting his head on her shoulder.

"A kiss can be a big deal. Bigger than sex, sometimes. I would kiss anybody, but not everybody would."

Kurt nodded slowly. "There's a boy… a boy Finn is seeing. Patrick. He won't kiss him."

Britt didn't miss a beat. "Patrick won't kiss Finn, or Finn won't kiss Patrick?"

"The first one. I can't imagine not wanting to kiss Finn." He glanced up at her. "You kissed Finn."

"I've made out with everybody at school. Except you." She smiled. "Finn was a good kisser. He didn't want to kiss me other places, though."

Kurt couldn't help shuddering. "No. I can't blame him for not being interested in that."

"People get to say no," she agreed. "It's my favorite thing, but not everybody likes the things I like."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "I really, really understand that statement."

Britt leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "Yeah, I thought you would. Even if you didn't used to know what you like, you figured it out."

He licked his lips experimentally. "Your lip gloss tastes like root beer. It's weird."

"It doesn't always taste like that. The figuring out, is that what you did with Finn?"

Kurt could tell she wasn't going to be deterred. "Kind of. I think with Finn, I did all the things I was sure I already wanted to do, although later he pushed me a little, and that was good too. With Noah, I did the things I never thought anybody would ask for from a boy like me."

She nodded. "And Max? What do you do with him?"

Kurt laughed, feeling his face flush again. "I, um. I think I get the romance I always wanted. If you consider romance to include ropes and leather."

"I think the best romance does," said Britt. She picked up the remote control and snuggled up close to Kurt. "With you, this is my favorite thing: watching these movies, the ones we watched a hundred times together since we were kids. Not that we're not still kids."

"Carole says we're grownups now. My dad thinks so too, I think, but Carole's the one who said it. That we couldn't do the things we do and not be treated like grownups."

Britt laughed. "That's so not true. It's how you do it that makes you a grownup. And anyway, I think I'd rather not be one yet. There's still too many kid things I want to do before I grow up."

That made him smile. "Can't we do kid things after we grow up?"

"Ask me again in another five years," she said.

Carole was all too happy to accept Burt's invitation to another dinner out, but the preoccupied look on his face when he picked her up at her house worried her.

"What's the matter?" she asked, closing the truck door behind her. "Is something going on with Kurt?"

"Oh, yeah, something's going on with him all right, but I'm assuming it's temporary. He's in the basement with our neighbor, Brittany Pierce. There was a sign on the white board saying Do not enter, I'm making out with a girl. If he really wants me involved, he'll ask. I'm not going to get in the middle of whatever statement he's making." Burt sighed. "No, this is about Sarah. I got a call on my voice mail from her principal saying he wants to meet with me."

"I thought she was doing well in school?"

"I thought so, too," Burt agreed. "Anyway, I called him back, but it was already after hours and I had to leave a message. I'll make an appointment tomorrow."

Carole hesitated before offering, "I'll go with you?"

He flashed her a smile. "Thanks. It's easier for me to get away from the garage in the middle of the day."

"If it doesn't feel too overwhelmingly domestic, I'd like to go. Besides, I think Sarah could use a united front. The Puckermans haven't ever seen much support from two parents at once."

Burt nodded, his eyes on the road. "Parents, huh?"

"I'm not implying anything," she said quickly. "Not about us. It's about the kids."

"That's fine," he agreed. "Red Lobster or the Thai place tonight? I was kind of looking forward to those cheesy biscuits."

"Burt," she protested. "I'm not saying I don't want that. But right now... it's just about being practical." She sat in her seat, watching him helplessly as he drove. "I'm sorry. Did I just ruin our evening?"

"It's fine," he repeated, his voice firm. "I like Red Lobster. Do you see me complaining?"

"No, but… I think you have this idea I'm somehow less committed to this relationship. I've been waiting for Finn to be ready. You know he has to be my first priority. Just like Kurt is yours."

The corners of his mouth tightened. "Maybe it's as simple as that for you, but I don't think once Sarah and Puck are with me permanently that it can be that simple."

"I wouldn't ask you to choose between two kids, Burt. I'm talking about the adults." She dug in her purse until she found a booklet of wallet-sized photos. Flipping to the back, she found one of Finn when he was ten, spraying the lawn with fertilizer with Darren. "I'm guessing you didn't do a lot of dating after Elizabeth passed."

"You know I didn't."

"It's not easy, not when you have a kid. They get attached, and when things don't work out, you have to figure out what to tell them." When Burt stopped at the next light, she passed the photo booklet over to him. He smiled at the picture of young Finn.

"Who's this guy?" he asked, tapping his thumb on Darren's chest.

"That's my biggest mistake." Carole rolled her eyes. "Phyllis at work had fixed me up on a couple awful blind dates. I don't know if I really thought it would work, or if I was just feeling that desperate, but… I answered a personal ad."

Burt glanced over at her. If he was surprised, he was masking it well. "Lots of people do that."

"It was a couple, looking for a threesome."

Now he didn't bother not to look surprised. She waited as he turned into the parking lot and found an empty spot.

"Look," he said, sounding chagrined, "maybe you should just tell me now if there are any more shockers on the horizon."

"You can chalk this one up to bad judgment," she said. "I would say our sons have handled this business of multiple partners with more thoughtfulness and care than Darren ever did."

"Darren? Finn mentioned him, when we were at the ballpark." Burt squinted at the picture. "But he didn't say anything about another woman… wait, did she work at the Pick'N'Save?"

"Yes. Brenda." She sighed, taking the booklet back and stuffing it into her purse. "I wouldn't be surprised if Finn didn't even know what had been going on."

"He said this Darren clown ran away with another woman."

"You could say that. Except they were already together when we started seeing each other." She gazed at the photo. There were too many regrets there for it to be a good memory. "Finn thought Darren was a rock star, but it turned out he was just an asshole."

Burt reached over and gave her a half-hug. "Everybody makes mistakes, Carole."

"I don't need platitudes. I don't feel bad about how it turned out. Okay, maybe I did a little screaming and crying about it at the time. And throwing milk down the street." She shook her head, smiling. "I'm saying if we don't work out, it'll be my responsibility to take care of Finn."

"And mine to take care of Sarah, Puck, and Kurt," said Burt firmly. "But that's not what's going to happen."

"No?" She watched him curiously. "You have some kind of magic 8 ball, Mr. Hummel?"

"Oh, trust me, I'm the first one to admit sometimes things don't work out the way you expect them to. But this, what we have here…" He kissed her gently, then with more emphasis. When he looked her in the eye, she felt a little breathless. "We're going to be fine."

"I'm going to have to take your word for it," said Carole. "Tonight, at least, there are cheesy biscuits."

On Friday morning, Puck made Jacob Ben-Israel buy Mercedes her favorite coffee drink. When she decided she'd rather talk about something other than video games, he didn't argue with her. The alternative wasn't something he wanted to contemplate. He made a reasonable effort to pay attention in class, because she wanted him to, but it wasn't easy.

In Glee, Britt and Mike danced their pas de deux, and everyone was impressed. But the real surprise came when Mercedes performed a duet of her own: "The Boy is Mine" with Santana. The song wasn't very nice, but Puck thought that might be kind of appropriate. It sure as hell didn't look like either of them was acting when they were tossing epithets back and forth. Mr. Schue even had to separate them.

"You can go at it in song, but that is it," he warned. "This ends now."

"You're out of time, Wheezy." Santana sneered at Mercedes. "He's not yours to command after today."

While Santana headed for the door, Mercedes hugged Puck, warm and protective.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I should have known better than to think Santana and I could do anything together without making it competitive, especially after she bid your price up at the auction."

He shrugged, enjoying her soft fierceness. "It's fine. You two sounded amazing. And she's right, isn't she? Today's the last day."

Mercedes nodded uncomfortably. "It's been really nice, Puck. A really nice week. And after... you can still come over after school whenever you want."

He was happy to be told what to do. But when she met him outside after the bell and found him tossing Ben-Israel and his cronies into the dumpster, she was obviously appalled.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Just a little payback." Puck gestured for the next of Ben-Israel's followers to come forward. The boy shuffled into position and waited glumly while Xavier and Danny from the football team lifted him into the dumpster. "You hear that? That's the sound of order being restored."

Mercedes' face was stony. "I know you're only mine for another, what, three hours? But no man of mine is going to be pulling stuff like this."

"Babe," he protested. "This is what we do. I mean, look at them. They need this. Without the fear of a good dumpster toss, there'd be chaos up in this place. Trust me, if anybody knows what they need, it's me — and they sure as hell ain't going to get that from me. This is the next best thing."

"What do you mean?" she asked uneasily.

"Somebody in charge of them. Giving them the discipline they deserve."

She was clearly horrified. "They didn't ask for this. Don't tell me Kurt is okay with you treating people like this, Puck. Or Finn. Or Max."

He paused for a moment at the sound of Adam's pseudonym. Had he remembered to call him last night? What about the night before? All he could recall was Carl's visit to him at the apartment, his own words of anxiety, and Lady Tess' soothing voice on the phone, holding him still.

"We're part of the system now," he said, but Mercedes wasn't listening anymore. She shook her head in disgust and walked off, leaving him there in the midst of the line of waiting boys.

Xavier looked at him expectantly. "Keep going, Puck?"

Puck swallowed. For a moment, he tried to pretend he was Kurt, to look at the situation with his eyes. What would Kurt think of what he was doing? Suddenly it didn't seem as obviously okay as it had a minute ago.

He turned to the next boy in line. "What would you do if I said we're done, go home?"

The next three boys looked suspicious, but the first one spoke up, looking around at the others. "Thank you?"

"Thank you," Puck echoed.

"Thank you, sir?" the boy tried again.

The word landed on his ears with a sickening impact, worse than any tool. Puck flinched back, trying not to grimace.

"Don't say that," he snapped at the boy. "Not to anybody who doesn't deserve it. You got that?"

The boy nodded in apparent terror, and fled. In moments, the line was gone. Xavier and Danny appeared confused, but at Puck's sharp dismissal, they shrugged, picked up their backpacks, and headed for their cars.

Puck searched the parking lot for Mercedes, calling for her. She turned at the sound of his voice, though she didn't exactly look pleased to see him. That felt worse than anything.

"I'm sorry," he said to her. "It's just… I make stupid choices. I don't always know what's a bad idea, even after I do it. That's what Kurt and Finn help me with."

"And if you don't do what they say, they throw you into dumpsters?" she shot back, her lip curling.

He smiled. "Not exactly. But you were right. I ask for it; Ben-Israel's buddies didn't. It wasn't fair for me to bully them into accepting it, even if they do need it."

"Need what? Need to be treated like they're —" Mercedes cut her words off, staring at Puck.

"Weak?" Puck suggested. "Powerless? Slaves?"

"I don't know." She looked shaken, and when she reached for him, it felt like he was supporting her as much as she was holding him. "I don't treat you that way."

"No, you didn't. Maybe you should, though."

She backed up a step, still holding his hand. "Puck, I'm not going to throw you into a dumpster, even if you want me to. Or — anything else like that. I can't do that to you, or anybody."

"Yeah." He nodded, trying not to feel hurt. "I get that. I'm not going to ask you to. But I kind of need it, if I'm not going to turn back into the asshole I was at the beginning of the year. I'm gonna need it even more, now that I'm going to be a papa."

She didn't look like she quite understood, but Puck guessed that was okay. She didn't need all the details. He hugged her again, tighter this time, and she hugged him back.

"Someday," he promised, "you'll have a really nice guy. One who doesn't need… dumpstering."

That got her to smile. "I hope so. One with arms as nice as yours, and who wants me to sing with him."

"And you know I'm totally willing to flex and sing for you." He took a deep breath and let it out. "Right now, though, I think I need to find Finn. We've got a little catching up to do after this week. Can I give you a ride home?"

Britt helped Kurt find Lauren before she got on the bus to go home. Lauren sighed mightily while he explained what he needed, but she walked with him back to the auditorium and showed him what he needed to do to hook up his iPod to play the karaoke version of "Rose's Turn" over the sound system.

"It's not going to be great," she told Kurt, "but it'll sound good enough for Glee club."

"Thanks," he said. "What do I owe you this time? Considering what you're doing for Sarah in the CAD lab…"

She shook her head. "Yeah, honestly, I'm not sure if you owe me for that or if I owe you. We'll gonna have to settle up at the end of the semester."

"I can give you a ride home," Britt offered. Lauren looked her up and down, then shrugged.

"Why not. Apparently my Good Samaritan status extends to Cheerios now."

Kurt wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but his understanding of Christian parables was pretty limited. Britt held his hand as the three of them made their way back to his locker for his "Rose's Turn" costume.

"Your hands are really soft," she said, smiling.

He smiled back. "My secret? Duck fat."

"Seriously, they feel like a baby. Now I know what it's like to date a baby!"

Lauren eyed them incredulously. "Really?"

"Rule number one," Kurt murmured. "Don't question it."

"Hey, Kurt," he heard, and turned to see his dad heading toward him down the hall. Kurt paused in surprise.

"Dad!"

"Hey," his dad said to Britt and Lauren, nodding. "Finn caught a foul ball in the 9th, which means free hoagies at Lenny's Hoagies, and then half price at the motocross tonight… I promised to take him. You don't have practice today, do you?"

Kurt glanced uncertainly at Lauren, but she seemed unperturbed by the mention of Finn. "No, I have rehearsal for Glee… Dad, this is Lauren? She's the one who was Skyping with Sarah from the lab at school."

"Is that right?" He smiled at Lauren with new appreciation, and offered his hand. "I can't say I've heard a lot about the project, but Sarah's a little private about school."

Lauren shook his hand, considering him. "That's kind of surprising, considering what the project concerns."

His dad's smile faded. "Oh? Which is what?"

"Yeah, sorry," she said, actually sounding apologetic. "You'll have to get it out of her yourself. I don't think I want to be around for that part." She tugged on Brittany's arm. "Will you excuse us for a moment?"

"What?" Brittany asked blankly.

Lauren's hand tightened, and she towed Brittany more firmly in the direction of the parking lot. "Just — go away."

Kurt barely noticed them leaving. His attention was on his dad. "What's going on with Sarah, Dad?"

"I don't know," his dad said. His face was grim now. "But I got a call from her principal. Something else I'll have to address after hoagies."

Kurt moved in closer, dropping his voice. "Did you ever think maybe this was something she might want to do with you?"

His dad's eyes narrowed. "Look, Kurt…"

"Dad, she needs a buddy right now. Wednesday night, I stopped by her room, and she started talking about her dad. I think that's a good thing for her."

"Well, Finn needs a buddy, too." His dad was already moving backward down the hall. "Look, I promise you, we will hang out with Sarah as much as you want, okay? Just not tonight."

It was hard to keep his mind on rehearsal after that. Kurt knew his vocal tone on the high notes was a little strident, but it just felt so good not to be trying to lower his range anymore, he let himself go. Toby's choreography was just challenging enough to feel freeing instead of frightening.

Everything's coming up Kurt
Everything's coming up Hummel
Everything's coming up Kurt, this time for me
For me!

The applause afterward caught him off guard. He searched the dark auditorium until he saw his dad, standing twelve rows back in the aisle.

"That was some serious singing, kid," he said.

"That was 'Rose's Turn,'" Kurt said. "Toby suggested it. To go along with the Mellencamp. Because I've got more than four sides to my box."

To his credit, his dad didn't even bother to look confused. He just nodded, approaching the stage. "I could get into that, maybe."

"What happened to the hoagies?"

"Ahh, blew it off. You know. Too much cholesterol." His dad shrugged. "Sarah doesn't really have to worry about that stuff. Thought she could eat mine. Finn understood when I suggested bringing her along instead of me. At least once I told him how bent out of shape you were."

Kurt was startled. "Me? I'm fine."

"Kurt, I'm dumb, but I'm not stupid. And I don't always know what's going on between the three of you — the five of you —" He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. But fine don't sing like you just sung."

"I think I'm the least of your worries," Kurt said stiffly.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right." His dad moved in closer. "Maybe I got carried away, doing stuff with Carole, hoping she might move in with us. I don't think I've been…"

"Been what?"

He sighed. "A very good dad. For any of you, but especially for Sarah."

"Dad," Kurt said, but his dad shook his head.

"It's just — it's not so easy for me to hear you telling me I'm not doing enough for her, you know? I thought she was getting along pretty good since her mom passed, but there's clearly stuff I've missed. Four kids to take care of, three of whom are sleeping in the same bed, doing — all kinds of things I don't even know about?" His dad grimaced. "I told you, this thing with you was going to be hard."

"Thing with me." Kurt thought of Toby's encouragement, telling him draw some attention to yourself. Make some noise. The words, usually so hidden, so private, especially at school, suddenly rose to the surface. He didn't even attempt to speak quietly as he raised his chin, facing his dad. "You mean the BDSM."

Now his dad was definitely blushing, but to his credit, he didn't look away either. "Yeah. The BDSM. Kurt, I will fight to the death for your right to love whoever you want. But when you were a little baby, did I dream about someday having a houseful of folks tying each other up with ropes and hurting each other? No, I didn't. Not too many fathers do."

Kurt huffed, suddenly on the verge of tears. "I had no idea how disappointing I was."

His dad recoiled. "Aw, come on, now — stop it right now. I'm talking straight to you. Don't go playing the victim. You know that's not what I mean!"

"I know," Kurt said immediately. "I'm sorry. I know you care about me — about all of us. You've been so accepting of us, of our relationship. I know you're working hard on yourself to make all this okay. It's just…" He swallowed. "The way everyone's been in and out of the house… it breaks my heart."

His eyes softened. "Is that why you were upset at me about Sarah?"

"I think it's even harder on her," said Kurt. "I know Noah's struggling, and Finn's doing the best he can to make everything okay…"

"None of you have to work at anything, Kurt." His dad moved in close enough that Kurt could see he was fighting with tears himself. "You and Finn and Puck and Sarah, your job is to be yourselves. And me and Carole, our job is to love you. Every damn side of you. That, and a crummy little bi-level house, that's all we got." He brushed Kurt's shoulder with the back of his hand. "Okay? We stick to that, and we're going to be great. A little crowded, but great."

Kurt gave up on stoicism and hugged his dad. "I miss them."

His dad hugged him back. "Yeah," he said softly. "Me too. You think you've done enough work on this number that I could convince you to join us for hoagies?"

"Us?" Kurt repeated. "As in…"

"As in everybody. You, me, Carole, Finn, Puck and Sarah." He gripped Kurt's shoulders. "How's that for a family, huh?"