Disclaimer: Not mine :(

Weight of the World

Chapter 35

9th January 1978

When the first rays of sunlight hit his eyes, Severus awakened. It was slow-going, but eventually he gained enough strength and awareness to push himself up, his sheet pooling around his waist as he rubbed at his eyes. Across from the room he heard Haydn Westwood stir and he resisted a snarl – he never cared much for his fellow Slytherin's. He pushed the dark green covers down and swung his legs to the floor, his bare feet touching the cold stone. He stood and shuffled to the bathroom, not waking up his roommates, no matter how much he hated them.

He washed quickly, not really paying attention as his mind was on other things. It was his birthday today and they were no presents at the end of his bed, no birthday cards – before, when he had been friends with Lily, there would have been a present and he would love it, using it at any opportunity –The sneakascope that she had bought him in fourth year stood on it's point on his nightstand, like it had for the past two years, only moving when he packed it up for the Summer Holidays.

He missed the friendship, he thought as he shut the water off, towelling himself dry quickly before getting dressed in his Slytherin school robes with pride, sighing at the sight of his unblemished forearm. That would change too soon.

But it needed to be done, he thought fiercely: if he wanted them to win, he had to do this, no matter how much he despised the thought.

He shouldered his bag and without looking back once he opened the door and let it slam shut beside him, waking the other three boys and he walked calmly down the stone steps to the Slytherin common room where he didn't pay attention to his other housemates, who were relaxing before a hard day of lessons. Ever since they had returned from Christmas holidays, they had been driven hard by the teachers – O.. and N.E.W.T.S were coming up soon, and they had to be ready. For Severus, this didn't make a difference as he was academically brilliant in most subjects anyway.

Upon entering the Great Hall, the first thing he noticed was that Lily Evans and James Potter were sat together at the Gryffindor table, laughing with each other, sitting so close that air couldn't get between them. What had happened to Lily? The one who thought that James Potter was an arrogant toe-rag? He sighed and shook his head, ignoring that pang in his heart and collapsed at the Slytherin table well away from the others.

He ate his breakfast quickly, not really bothering with what exactly he was eating. It tasted like ash in his mouth anyway. He stood and briskly walked out of the Hall. If he moved, he could be at the library and read or do some last minute homework before potions that morning.

Ahead of him, he was aware of Hermione Kingsley and Sirius Black, who was throwing his head back and laughing at something the lump of a boy, Peter, had said, gesturing to the werewolf behind them.

He still vividly remembered the night last year that he had gone down the Whomping Willow's passageway to see Remus Lupin's transformation and he was very aware of the fact that if James Potter hadn't stopped him, he would be dead at this moment in time.

"Oh, look who it is," Black jeered and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Leave him alone, Sirius," Hermione said tiredly, placing her hand on his arm and he gave her an incredulous look.

"What?" He asked aghast and Severus rolled his eyes again. He was not in the mood for this.

"Leave him alone," Hermione repeated firmer and Black narrowed his head before casually shrugging and wrapping his arm snugly around her waist; she leaned into his side and he pressed a kiss to her temple. Severus thought he'd be sick with the public display of affection playing in front of his coal black eyes.

"I don't need your help, Kingsley, nor do I want it," he said spitefully, glaring in her direction.

"Tough, because you've got it," she spat back and the only think Severus could do was glare. He could call her a Mudblood, knock her down, but what would that accomplish? Black would have him down so fast he wouldn't be able to blink, that's what would happen and Severus was not in the mood today. He shouldered past them, hurrying to the Library. He'd be to busy tonight to finish his homework, so he got as much done as he could – the pieces that he was unable to finish over the weekend.

He dug his timetable out of his bag and glanced over his lessons today. Potions, break, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, lunch, Herbology and Charms. A long, busy day.

After he had done as much as he could on his Potions essay, he decided to leave his charms until Lunch, where he would have time to complete it. He put his stuff away and hurried to potions, ignoring the knocks from other students and comments that were yelled down the corridor.

He got to potions before Professor Slughorn, who in all honesty was probably still scoffing his face with Breakfast. He leaned against the wall scratching the side of his nose as his eyes swept over the Gryffindor's clustered together on the other wall opposite him spying the lock of vibrant red hair. She was laughing – that's all she seemed to be doing these days. Her vibrant green eyes caught sight of his own black ones and he almost smiled, the tugging of his lips almost instinctual for whenever she looked at him. But then, she looked away, wrapping her arm around Potter's waist and he ignored the stab in his stomach, the way his muscles knotted and twisted at the sight.

Oh, how he hated the poor, sorry excuse for a man. He was arrogant, insensitive and a bully and he hated that he got away with it because he was a 'brave and noble Gryffindor'. Because he was a member of the Golden House, his bullying and teasing went unnoticed by many of the teachers who falsely assumed that, just because he was a Gryffindor that he could do no wrong and even the two Slytherin teachers ignored him because he was academically very smart. He hated how he got away with making people's life a misery and that he got the position for Head boy when he wasn't even a Prefect. Just another example of favouritism from the Headmaster.

Before he could finish his little rant in his head, Slughorn came bounding around the corner, his straw blonde hair bouncing on his head and Severus could make out the beginnings of a moustache on his upper lip – he was determined to grow a proper, mans moustache, but so far was failing horribly.

"Welcome students! Oh, don't you just love Monday mornings? Bacon for breakfast," he said in a satisfied manner, patting his round stomach as he non-verbally opened his classroom door. The student's poured in and took their regular seats, although Severus noticed that the Werewolf and Black changed places so that Black could be sat near Kingsley as he took his own seat at the back table, by himself.

"Today class, we will be making the adceleratus potion, which is a Latin 1st verb conjunction meaning to speed up, quicken, hurry. It will allow the drinker to gain speed for a period of time, but a downside of this potion is that it causes you to crash hard after it's been taken as your body is unable to cope with the speed. Now, open your books to page 45 we're going to get started…"

Severus didn't even pay attention to Slughorn as he moved to the store closet, not even needing to look at the book to know what ingredients were needed. He had gone through the whole text book, making all the potions beforehand and finding new and improved ways to make these potions, to make them better.

He spread his ingredients in front of him before opening his book for his own instructions, glancing over the Half-blood Prince written in the front of the book in his own hand. The page was full of scribbles and his handwriting, written hastily into the margins and under the print beforehand but he had no trouble reading them.

He set to work quickly, the task second nature to him as he periodically measured the ingredients, put them in his simmering cauldron, waited for the prolonged time and repeated the motion. He never understood really why this was so easy to him, but he didn't question it.

"Mr. Black, while that is extrodinary magic, I fail to see how it's relevant to the class?" Severus looked up through his curtain of black hair to see that Black had charmed his brass scales and Hermione's and they were slow-dancing.

"My scales were bored, sir," he said casually, leaning back on his chair, his hands behind his head while beside him, Hermione was trying not to smile, cutting her Beetles claws.

"I see. Well, in that case, I think that-" before he could finish, Potter's cauldron fired a fireball, much like a cannon, the flames curling around each other before disintegrating into thin air and, judging by the shocked look on his face, he either didn't expect it, or he could play up well.

"Mr. Potter! Whatever happened?" Slughorn ran from Black, who was chuckling to himself and took his wand from his back pocket, pointing it at the coat-rack in the corner and whispering a spell that he couldn't hear. He became apprehensive, wondering exactly what was going to happen and he kept one eye on the coat-rack knowing that he would be on the end of whatever was going to happen as he was the Gryffindor's favourite plaything.

After ten minutes (in which he had managed to finish his potion, way ahead of everybody else; the silvery mist rippling across the surface) the coat-rack moved, but it was only noticeable to those who were playing close attention to it, which he was.

"Right, by now you should be on Stage three of your potion – this is a very simple potion, people!" He boomed, clapping his hands in a way that a seal would. "I expect you all to finish this potion with no worr-" again, he was cut off, but this time, by the coat-rack that had grabbed his hand and whirled him around to dance exaggeratedly with him, spinning him around quickly, its two, golden clawed feet jumping in time to music that only he could hear, it's many arms, which had dropped the velvet robes that it once held, wrapping around Slughorn, a black trilby hat sat on top of the dome at the very top of the golden rod, as if it were the head.

The Look of pure panic and shock on Slughorn's face made him, and the rest of the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's, burst into laughter. It was an amusing sight, the coat-rack leading Slughorn into a tango, pulling him close and then dipping him low. His pale, gooseberry coloured eyes were wide open in shock, his straw blonde hair in total disarray.

"Who…Is…Doing…This?" He asked, gasping as he was unable to escape the Coat-rack's hold and was forced to dance the tango. The students all clapped in time to some hidden music and Severus felt like this was a pretty good start to his birthday, as Black and the Werewolf high-fived over Kingsley's head, but he knew it could only get worse from here.

Slughorn had let them all, but Black, Potter and Lupin go early and had shakily praised Severus for his good work, trying to smooth his hair back and calm his beating heart. Severus smirked as he vanished his potion, shouldered his bag and made his way to, where else? The library. He wasn't surprised to see Hermione Kingsley sat at his table, looking through a book that looked as if it were made through frayed leather and the look of disgust on the bushy-haired girls face told him it was a Dark Arts book. Undeterred, he pulled back his chair and sat down gracefully in it, a little perturbed when Hermione didn't even look up.

"Should you be reading that?" He asked and her brown eyes flickered up and back down to the book.

"No," she answered easily, turning a thick, yellow page of the book that looked centuries years old.

"Why are you reading it then?" He got out his charms work and intended to use the nest thirty minutes to finish it.

"Have to." Her short answers were annoying him and he decided to leave it alone, opening his charms book and wishing slightly that he was as adapt at Charms as he was Potions.

After working in a silence that was neither awkward nor stifling, Hermione snapped the book shut before standing, shoving it in her bag and pushing her chair in.

"We're you going?" He couldn't help the question slipping from his lips, wondering why she was suddenly departing.

"I have Transfiguration now," she said simply, taking a few steps away before stopping, rocking on her feet slightly. "By the way, Happy Birthday," she was gone before he could blink and he wondered vaguely how she knew it was his birthday as he watched the door close quietly, hitting the doorframe with a quiet thud. One corner of his mouth twitched at the slight sign of friendship before he banished it from his mind, going back to the Charms paper he had to write.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. He had learned that the three idiots had been given detention tonight and that Quinton had left for a while – not that Severus could blame him, if his wife died at Hogwarts, he'd leave as well. Instead, the Divination teacher, Professor Daniels, was teaching the class and compared to Quinton, her teaching of the subject was poor and he only hoped that the old Defence teacher would come back, even if he had been a Hufflepuff in his Hogwarts days.

Finishing up the day of lessons had never gone slower for Severus and, during Charms, he had kept looking at his watch as the second hand ticked around the face in a distracting and teasing manner that his life was slipping away and he only really had a few hours left of freedom before it was going to happen. He sighed when Flitwick came around the classroom collecting their assignments and Severus handed his over absently, not paying attention until the bell rang out loud and clear and he shot up, happy to be done with lessons for the day. How he was going to get through tomorrow, he wasn't quite sure, but he'd have to manage. He didn't really have a choice in the matter.

He gathered up his stuff and slinked out of the room, heading for the Slytherin Common Rooms, happy to just get some rest – he had been finding that sleep was very difficult for him to grasp as of late, and he was in serious need for a power nap. He muttered the password to the stone wall before him, watching with slight fascination as it parted and admitted him entrance and he stepped into the threshold of the silver and green room, the light flooding through the lake above them turning everything slightly green tinged and he walked past the leather couches, climbing up the stone staircase that would lead to his bed and he happily fell onto it, allowing the sheets to cover him and keep him cool – his eyelids slid shut over his coal black eyes and he welcomed the first curls of sleep, still wrapped up in his Slytherin robes, for once keeping his mind open as he drifted off, letting the dreams take over.

"Come on, Hermione!" Sirius Black yelled behind him, laughing at the girl behind him who was walking slowly, purposefully but Sirius paid her tight lips no heed and ran back over to her, picking her up in one easy swoop, cradling her to his chest as she let out a squeak of surprise…

…"Lily! We don't have all day!" James said whining, his arms crossed over his chest and tapping his foot as he watched his red-haired girlfriend pack her bag painstakingly slow after their last lesson, which seemed to be Herbology as they were in the Green House.

"Oh, hush you!" She said joyfully, throwing the thick strap over her head and letting it rest on her shoulder, the bag's weight dropping to settle against her hip as she stood on her tiptoes, cupped his jaw and kissed his down-turned lips. He responded readily, wrapping his arms securely around her waist, pulling her closer…

…Peter was against a wall, being pinned by Eric Crawler, who was sneering at him, saying some words of pain and torment to the poor boy…

…Remus Lupin was sat by the lake, watching Hermione and Sirius run and play like children, seemingly in a game of tag. Remus sighed and let his eyes stray to the other end of the lake, where a group of Ravenclaw girls were sat, their socks and shoes off, dipped into the water as the watched the Giant Squid break the surface. Remus wished he could do the same, but the cuts and scars on his feet were very prominent and very noticeable, so, dipping in his feet in the nice, cool water was out of the question…

…Carrie Green was sat on Olivia's bed, a photo album opened in front of her and she watched them play their sequence, her blue and bronze tie substituting for a handkerchief as she dabbed her moist eyes...

…Spring Phillips combing her long auburn hair, a yellow silk dressing gown wrapped around her naked body as she glanced in the mirror at Kara Clyde, who was smiling dreamily, her chest rising with each intake of breath…

…Odette Grestitude swung her hips as she walked through the halls of Hogwarts, watching as the men panted over her delicious body and she winked at the nearest one, a fourth year Hufflepuff, licking her blood red lips in seduction…

Sirius awoke with a jolt, sitting up quickly and shaking his head, trying to get the viewpoints that he had seen out of his head. He knew it had been a bad idea to lift his mind barrier but he was so tired. Having his mind barrier up meant that he couldn't dream and not dreaming is like being awake all the time. He was in desperate need of it, so he took a chance. He was just glad that nothing he had seen had been too drastic. He sighed and stood, changing quickly into his plain, black robes before leaving the common room. It was time.

He was stood in the centre of a circle, his hood up casting a shadow across his entire face as he kept his head down, focusing on keeping his mind barrier up. Around him, people were silent, staring at him with wonder and unease, their minds taking off letting themselves wonder how the boy would take it. He looked around the circle, the shadow across his face sliding to his nose as he lifted his head and his gaze fell on Lucius Malfoy who was stood opposite him. He saw Bellatrix Black, who was cackling under her breath and Regulus Black beside her, staring with apparent frustration at the older boy, who calmly admitted the scrutiny. His gaze flickered to Rodolphus LeStrange and Anthonin Dolohov who were quibbling about useless matters. Aleycto and Amycus Carrow to his left, whispering to each other in a way that siblings should not do. He was unaware of who was behind him, and he didn't like that – the only way that he'd be able to know was to let his defence down, but that would leave him vulnerable.

"Severus Snape," he froze at the calm voice from behind Lucius (who had gone even more pale and had quickly stepped to the side away from him) "nice to see that you've decided to join us." A figure loomed from behind the circle of Death Eaters, tall and skeletal, the black robes hanging off him easily, his face a pale white and wrinkles lining the features of the old dark wizard who terrorized the streets of England.

"Yes, sir," he said, holding his head high. He felt Voldemort's red eyes staring at him and felt a shiver go up his spine, but he refused to show it. The circular room they were in was dimly lit and Severus was finding it hard to keep the Death Eaters in his peripheral vision, making him feel very uneasy.

"Hmm…Hold out your left arm." He ordered and Severus gulped quietly, cautiously rolling up his sleeve and handing his arm out, his appearance somebody who was calm and collected, when really, he was petrified. He didn't want to be here, with Voldemort's long, thin, bony fingers wrapped around his wrist, squeezing tightly almost cutting off his circulation. "Do you, Severus Snape, agree to follow my commands?" He drawled, the tip of his wand trailing over his forearm as he stared into his eyes and Severus could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention.

Swallowing thickly, he licked his lips before saying, "yes," – before he could blink, his forearm burned as if it were suddenly on fire and it was all he could do not to scream. He clamped his mouth shut, his eyes shut and his face screwed up in pain as his legs failed him and he slowly fell to his knees as the pain overtook him as the Dark Mark was permanently etched into his skin – forever.

He stumbled into the Entrance Hall, grasping onto the door frame. He was so tired, the feat of keeping his mind barrier up, from stopping Voldemort see his real intentions was so tiring and the added pain on top was enough to bring him to his knees; for a second time that evening.

He gasped as he felt the fire curl up his forearm, his skin burning with the promise that he had no intention of fulfilling.

"What's up with you?" He whirled around so fast he almost lost his balance and got whiplash, staring incredulously at the five foot three Gryffindor who was staring at him, her green eyes sparkling, her hand cupped around the blue mug which was letting out tiny breaths of steam at the heat, her head cocked to the side her red hair spilling over one shoulder.

"Lily," the name slipped from his lips with ease, "what are you doing up?" his arms reached behind his back and he made sure that the sleeves of his shirt were covering his forearms pulled over his fingertips before bringing them around to the front and crossing his arms, biting his lip. He was sure that she could see right through him and knew just where he'd been and what he'd been doing – a young man's eighteenth birthday was the usual initiation into the Death Eaters, but some, like Regulus and Bellatrix, could be initiated earlier.

"Thirsty," she held up the mug in her hands as if proving herself and smiled, almost forcedly at the boy that had been her first friend in this strange place to her. "What about you?"

"Just…Out and about," he said vaguely, waving his left hand absently, the cuff of his sleeve falling on itself, exposing the end of the snake carved into his flesh and he moved quicker then ever trying to hide his mark, but he knew by the betrayal in her eyes that she had seen it.

"What have you done?"

"I had no choice," he said quietly, thinking of the mark that marred his skin and twisted across, ugly as sin and painful as Hell.

"I'm sure you didn't," she spat sarcastically and her eyes narrowed into narrow slits, "you're not bad, Severus. You don't belong there."

"You think I don't know that? I've always known I was different from the other Slytherin's, always the outcast-"

"So, what, you did it to fit in?" The anger was sparking from her and he had to resist the temptation to gulp.

"No, you don't understand, Lily-" he said almost desperately, but she cut him off.

"You know what? Save it," she turned on her heel angrily and made to stalk off, her slippers padding across the floor. "Oh by the way, Happy Birthday," the malice in her voice almost had him in tears and he closed his eyes tightly. Watching her walk away again was almost as painful as the Dark Mark and he prayed for her to learn the truth, knowing in his heart that she never would.

A/N: I STILL have Writer's block! It took me ages to get this chapter written and I'm so sorry that it kinda sucks :(

On a completely random note, I went to see Toy Story 3 yesterday and it is AMAZING!

Thanks for reading!

Kelly

xxx