Greg packed up his suitcase slowly. He didn't want to leave his apartment our Jimmy, but it was time for him to go stay with Kutner, the idiot. The guy seemed nice enough but he was obviously a moron and Greg couldn't help but wonder if he protested about staying with him if Jimmy would let him stay another night with him or Lisa, but then again that really wouldn't be fair to them. They all had their own lives and it would be rude of him to make them feel even more obligated then they already did just because he didn't like Kutner as much as them.
Wilson walked into the bedroom to watch Greg folding his tiny clothes with a little pout and couldn't help but find the boy adorable. "How's it going?" he asked with warmth.
Greg shrugged, "It's fine, Jimmy," he said picking up his pace slightly.
Wilson sat down on the bed still watching the boy, "Dr. Kutner isn't as dumb as he seems; actually I'm pretty sure you hired him because he reminded you of yourself."
Greg gave Jimmy a concerned look, "I hope you're mistaken on my reason for hiring him."
"He's fun and thinks outside the box, like House does," Wilson said with a small smile.
"I think his thoughts are more out of the planet than just the box," Greg said packing the last of his things and letting out a sigh. "I'm still sorry about what I did to you," the boy said looking down at his closed luggage.
"I'm okay, I've told you that you don't have to keep apologizing," Wilson said putting a hand on his shoulder.
Greg swallowed, "I never meant to hurt you," he said looking up with haunted eyes on the last two words of his sentence.
Wilson gave the best smile he could, "I'm fine now, really," he said trying to convenience not only the boy but himself as well.
Greg shook his head, "No you're not," he said softly, "because I haven't been fine since the first time he touched me," the boy finished with glossy eyes that looked down in shame at the end of his words. "Jimmy, am I ever fine again?" Greg ask hesitantly after a couple of minutes of silence.
Wilson felt his bottom jaw tremble some as he looked at the small abused boy that would grow to be his depressed, drug abusing, self destructive best friend. He wanted to say 'of course' but he couldn't lie to him.
Greg swallowed hard looking up at Jimmy as the silence between them lingered. His eyes held a admiration and yet a distant coldness, "I didn't think so. I appreciate the honesty," he said giving sharp nods with a tight jaw.
"We can talk about this if..." Wilson stopped as he saw Greg shaking his head in an adamant 'no'.
"Talking only makes me feel worse," Greg said and forced a half smile. "I'm ready to go when you are."
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Greg looked around the apartment with concern as every surface of the space was some how covered with toys or ridiculously dressed characters. No man would live in a place like this; he felt embarrassed just being there and he was a child. He kept trying to remind himself that Dr. Kutner was an adult, even if he didn't act like it, and was therefore owed a certain amount of respect.
"So, you ready to have some fun," Kutner said with a smile while closing the door behind Wilson and turned on the TV.
"Yes, sir," Greg said with a weak attempt at a smile.
Kutner could see the boy was uncomfortable and hoped the kid would enjoy video games as much as the adult he became. He turned on the game system and put in Ratchet and Clank Future : Quest for Booty. "You can call me, Laurie," Kutner said as he handed Greg a controller.
Greg's eyebrows knitted together as his eyes darted to Kutner as his head tilted, "Laurie? That isn't very Indian.. or masculine," he said with confusion.
Kutner rolled his eyes, sometimes he forgot that Greg was in fact House. "Laurie is short for Lawrence and it's and American name for an American citizen. You know everyone in the US came over on a boat except the Native Americans." He said as the introduction to the game started.
Greg flushed some as realized how rude he'd been. He'd just been making an observation out loud, but he knew better. How many times had his father punished him for speaking out of turn. When the video part was over he looked to Kutner. "I'm sorry, Dr. Laurie Kutner, I didn't mean to offend you."
Kutner blinked at the boy in surprise as the thought of House, at any age, apologizing to him was inconceivable. "Don't worry about, everyone makes fun of me," he said light heartedly.
Greg shook his head, "No, no, I wasn't making fun of you," he said very seriously as concern and panic flooded over him. "I would NEVER make fun of any adult. I was just thinking out loud," he said as he trembled as he remembered being held down in an ice bath the last time his father had accused him of being a wise ass. "I'd never heard of a man named Laurie is all and I'd just been expecting a more ethnic name. I didn't mean to be condescending or witty or anything! I really didn't. Please believe me, you have to believe me!"
Kutner could quickly see that Greg was working himself into a panic attack and gently grasped the boys shaking arms in his hands, "I believe you, Greg. It's okay," he said seriously with warm eyes. He considered telling the boy he wouldn't hurt him but didn't in order to not damage Greg's pride. He let go of him, "I'm thirsty; how does some Hawaiian Punch sound," he asked as he walked into the kitchen.
"I'm okay with anything or even nothing. You don't have to do anything for me," Greg said but noticed Laurie came back with two glasses. "Thank you, Laurie," he said as one glass was handed to him.
Kutner sat down, "You're welcome, now lets get our game on," he said with a smile.
Greg was surprised at how much he really liked playing the game. When Kutner had to pause the game to go to the restroom, he find himself actually resenting him some for the break. They ate southwestern taquitos and pizza rolls that Kutner threw in the oven as they played the game.
"I don't get it. Captain Quirk is obviously a complete idiot and coward, so why is he a Captain at all?" Greg asked mashing buttons on the controller as he watched his character on the game killing enemies.
Kutner smiled, "I think they wanted to fill the role of stereotypical dumb jock and add some humor to the game."
Greg frowned, "I understand it isn't real and is meant only for entertainment purposes, but I can't help finding it a rude. The idea of such a spineless and witless man holding such an authoritative role in their military is demeaning and unrealistic."
Kutner glanced at Greg wondering if the bright boy truly didn't see how his father was both of those things as well and worse. "Right, you're father holds a high position in the Military and he's clever as well as brave," he said casually.
"Right," Greg answered quickly and thought about it some as he played the game. "He might not be brilliant or anything but he knows war and is a damn good pilot," he said and suddenly his heart sank. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to curse, Laurie," Greg apologized.
Kutner gave the boy a warm smile, "It's fine. I bet you're dad is really brave, not someone who would push around a small opponent just because he can, but a man who wants a fair fight with a lot of honor," he said looking back at game as he played but kept Greg in his peripheral vision.
Greg blinked with surprise as he played the game and couldn't help but thinking on Laurie's words. He'd never thought of his father's actions as bullying and yet now that Kutner had brought it up he couldn't say he didn't see it. If he used his size to hurt someone smaller and younger then it would definitely be considered as bullying and yet he'd never thought to accuse his father of such a thing. He'd always seen himself as deserving of his father's punishments but that was as a child. If he was an adult would he see still see it the same way or would he consider his father's actions to be accessive? "If I wasn't bad all the time he wouldn't have to be so hard on me," he said softly.
"Then why doesn't your father say something about all the trouble you get into as an adult?" Kutner questioned with an arched eyebrow. "Surprisingly, now that you stand at 6ft 5in he doesn't have any disagreements with you and rarely comes by to see you."
Greg chewed his lip as he played the game. "What did you're parents do to you when you were bad?"
Kutner felt a stab of pain at the mention of his parents, "My dad use to make me stock the store as punishment and my mom would give me this look of disappointment that crushed me."
Greg couldn't help but wonder if the fact that Laurie's parents were so lenient on him had something to do with why he still acted immature. "So you're dad never hit you," he said playing the game.
"No, only a few of my foster parents after my parents died," Kutner said in a softer voice as he concentrated on the game.
Greg blinked rapidly as he looked to Laurie who refused to look away from the game and swallowed, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you'd lost your parents as a kid."
"Don't be, it's not like you're the one who killed them," Kutner said with a little irritation. "Why don't we have some ice cream and watch some television?" he suggested wanting to end the conversation.
"That sounds good," Greg said as he could see Laurie's muscles tightening from the conversation.
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The dew on the morning grass was cold as Greg sat on his knees nude and cleaned his father with his mouth. His eyes looking up for approval as he practiced the new method when his father looks at a valley. Greg glances to see her face. The face has haunted him for years and there it is again. She's young, not even out of school and beautiful. Her bright green eyes look at the two of them in confusion that quickly changes to horror and disgust. "NO!" he yells as she starts to turn and he looks to his father who picks up the pistol beside him and aims BANG!
Greg woke up screaming and shaking to find himself in a dark room he didn't know and hearing footsteps coming closer.
"Greg? Hey, you alright?" Kutner asked as he walked into the living room to see the boy in a ball on the couch. He swallowed hard remembering what it was like to be that scared and stopped. "You're fine. I'm, Laurie, you stayed at my place tonight, remember?" he asked softly.
Greg felt the tingle as his face flushed in embarrassment. "I know," he said more defensively than needed as he sat up on the couch feeling sick. He hated remembering that girls face and knowing it was more than a dream. She'd seen them and he'd killed her for it. At the time he'd thought it was because he wanted him to see how easy it was for him to kill someone but now he couldn't help but wonder if it was because of what she'd seen. Of course it hadn't really been in a beautiful meadow, it had been a cold winter day in the forest.
Kutner gave the boy a minute but Greg seemed to be getting more upset rather than calming down. He walked over and sat down beside him, "Was it about the gun again?" he asked tentatively.
Greg frowned looking up at Laurie, "Yeah," he said, "I should be over this by now."
"No, it takes time," Kutner responded looking down at the boy even though he could hardly see him in the dark room. "It took almost half a year before I could sleep through the night after I saw my parents shot."
With the words the tone of the room changed into something heavy and yet somewhat more comfortable. Laurie had shared a secret with him, letting him know that he was trusted and yet it begged the question if he would be obligated to share such a thing in return. "Do you still see their faces?" he asked closing his eyes to still the the girls face.
Kutner frowned, "Yes, sometimes, but not nearly as much as I use too. It's weird, when I saw them everywhere I hated it but now that I don't see them as often I miss it," he whispered.
Greg looked up at Laurie, "I miss my Mom but not him. I know I should but I don't," he said waiting to see the man's reaction.
"I remember being so mad at you when you kept blowing off seeing them. I thought about all the times I had wished my father was still there and you didn't even appreciate yours but that all changed when I saw those scars. I was only with that foster family for three months but you never forget that constant fear and the self doubt," Kutner said and looked to Greg. "You shouldn't miss him." The words weren't expressed as an opinion but as fact.
"I saw him kill a girl in the forest. He shot her and said it was a hunting accident, but it wasn't," Greg whispered.
Kutner found it hard to breath; had Greg just admitted to seeing his father MURDER someone? He stared at the top of the small child's head and then into the darkness, "When you say you saw him kill her, are you talking about in the dream or in real life?" He asked tentatively.
"Both," Greg said simply as he looked forward blankly in the dark, for some reason talking in the dark seemed to make it easier as if it wasn't real. "The look he had in his eyes it was the same as the look that guy with the gun at Foreman's had."
"At least you did something about it," Kutner said with more bitterness than he'd expected.
Greg looked over to him, "How old were you when it happen?" he asked with interest.
Kutner sighed, "Nine years old and I just stood there and watched. I should have stopped it but I didn't," he said as an old guilt fill wound opened up.
"Where you trained on how to disarm a person or have any knowledge about how to handle a gun if you did get a hold of it?" Greg asked frankly.
Kutner shook his head and remembered Greg couldn't see him in the dark room, "No, but I could have done something."
"You could have gotten yourself killed probably, might have even accidentally shot someone you cared about since you'd never handled a gun," Greg said considering it. "I've been learning how to disarm someone since I was three and how to handle a gun from the age of five and I was still terrified to do something about it at Foreman's, even with all the training. I made two mistakes, one a the grip I used and hesitating another time. I was lucky that those mistakes didn't cost anyone their life." He admitted and put a hand on Laurie's shoulder.
Kutner swallowed at the words and comforting touch, "You really think I did the right thing?" he asked in a small voice.
"Yes," Greg said without hesitation, "God allows things to happen for a reason, you need to spend more time considering what that reason is than doubting what you did." He said focusing on what he did know about the man, "What would you're life have been like if that had never happened?"
"I would have had my parents and I wouldn't have had to go through the foster system or... been adopted by my parents now," Kutner said thinking about it.
"You said you're parents owned a store, would you have become a doctor if they'd lived?" Greg asked.
"No," Kutner said immediately, "I'd have probably taken over the business at some point but there's no way they could have afforded to put me through medical school and I didn't have the grades for scholarship. The only reason I was able to become a doctor was because I was a ward of the state and therefore the state paid for my college."
Greg gave a slight smile, "Have you made a difference with your job? Saved someone that otherwise would have died? Done something that no one else would have done?" He asked looking at the dark figure.
Kutner felt a tingle as he recalled his first case with House, "I used paddles on a patient when she was in a hyperbolic chamber. It was insane even by your standards, Dr. Houses standards, but it saved the patient even if it did leave her with scars."
Greg felt a smile and allowed it, "Well, looks like we might have found out part of the reason."
Kutner let out a relieved breath, a breath that it felt like he'd been holding ever since the night his parents were shot. "I've never looked at the effect their death had on me past how it made me feel," he said and shook his head. "I always thought I should have died with them but," he looked down at the figure of the small boy in the darkness, "you... you're amazing. I've been trying to ignore what happened that night everyday and when I can't anymore I spend the whole night trying to get the courage to end my life. You may have just saved my life," he said with damp eyes.
Greg didn't know what to say; he really didn't see how he could have made that big of difference but instead of arguing with Laurie he wrapped his arms around the man and hugged him.
Kutner felt a couple of tears drop as he smiled, "I'm glad I shot you with that time gun, because I'd have never met the most amazing kid I'll ever know unless I had," he said hugging the boy back fiercely.