It's great that so many people is enjoying this fic.

Thanks a lot.

:K

Chapter 36

Eric POV

"Everything's loaded in the trucks, although I never thought it'd be clothes, and baby accessories." Tray laughed when closing the back door of the truck. "It's nice to do normal things for a change."

"Yeah…" But unfortunately our peace was about to come to an end. "Looks like we have company."

Three zombies were approaching slowly towards us, nodding erratically right and left, and shuffling. Two men and a really young girl.

"Hate this shit." I mumbled, pulling out the knife.

"Amen, brother."

We wouldn't let them to come near, in fact, we ran in the opposite direction so they followed us. The fewer obstacles when we had to leave, the better, and I didn't like the idea of having to run over corpses when we left.

"I've got the girl," Tray shouted. I nodded and killed the first man, grabbing his shoulder and digging the knife in the middle of the forehead. Blood splattered my clothes, but I wasted no time before doing the same with the other one. He was very close to me, but I was even faster. It's the advantage you have when you keep using your brain, I can think and move faster than them.

"You okay?" I asked, dropping the zombie to the ground, and walking towards him. I saw him nod, and we looked around us. "We attract them every time we go out. The girls will have to get through the back of the trucks if we want to avoid trouble."

"Yeah," Tray said, wiping the knife in his shirt. "Eric, have you thought about what will happen with Sookie?" I frowned not understanding. "Well, she's pregnant and about to give birth. In fact, she may do it at any time, and the road is not a good place for that."

"I know, but staying here is dangerous. You guys found this place, what would prevent others to do the same? If Madden finds us before we are ready…"

"We are ready, Eric." He interrupted. "You have taught those girls to defend themselves, to shoot. They can. And I'll help you, but you need to be with Sookie, she will need you when the time comes."

Tray was gone and I stayed there for a few seconds, not too many but enough to know that he was right. Sookie is my number one priority, nothing else matters. And she's not the only one who's terrified. I keep thinking how hard it's going to be for her, the pain she'll have to endure, and what might go wrong.

No, I can't think about that.

Sookie is going to be fine. The pain will be unbearable but I'll be at her side at all times, and together we'll get our baby and both of them are going to be perfectly healthy. It's what I must do, it is my responsibility as a father and human being.

To vent and forget everything for a while, I paid a visit to our dear friend Compton. I was not going to beat him up, at least not what I planned, but Bill always got out the worst of me, so it's possible to happen.

"Have you come to pronounce another speech?" It wasn't the smartest thing he could say, but I wasn't expecting more. "Because you can save it. I'm sick of all you! Sick!"

"Have you finished?" I asked calmly.

"What the fuck do you want, Northman?" He rose up from the makeshift bed but didn't dare to approach me. His cocky attitude is nothing more than façade to try and hide how scared he is.

"We're leaving here soon, but I'm afraid there are still issues I must deal with." I stared at him, letting him know I meant him. "You won't come with us…"

"I don't want to go with you all!" He snapped, cut me off.

"True. It's something we both have in common." I moved a little closer and saw him take a couple steps back. "But I can't set you free either, not with everything you know. You have become a serious threat to us, and I can't allow Victor Madden finds you. You will confess even before he has had time to have fun with you, and that's a problem for this group."

"Is that what you came for? To kill me?"

"Still deciding. I've never killed anyone, Bill, at least not until those guys showed up here to kill us. I had to do what was necessary to protect my family, because that is exactly what these people are to me. They are my family, and I will not let anything bad happen to them." I sat down on an old chair in the corner, and remained silent for a few seconds, just looking at Compton. "We live in a cruel world, Bill, but that's not reason enough for some people to treat badly to the rest. Guess some of us have managed to preserve our humanity, after all, although it's clear that you're not one of them."

"I'm so fucking tired of hearing this shit…" He chuckled, knowing that he kept watching me. Each of my movements put him on alert, and I liked that. "I'd rather you kill me right here before having to hear more speeches."

"You don't understand, do you?" He shook his head, looking away. "These speeches as you call them are not for you. It's not for you to get what I'm saying." I confessed.

"So, what is it about?"

"It is for me." I replied, shrugging. "I think…I think I need an excuse, something to help me to remember that I am going to finish you for good reason. I need to…" I paused, chuckling. "I need to know that what I will do it is not going to turn me into a monster. You are the monster, Bill, not me. But I suppose sooner or later I'll begin to question my motives, so I must find a way, something that helps me stay sane."

"And you killing me is going to help to get it?" He challenged me.

"It's a beginning."

"You know, actually you have no fucking idea…" I jumped on him, stabbing him in the stomach, feeling the knife cutting through his body like butter.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'd be lying. Hope you understand." I muttered, holding him by the shoulder as I held the knife inside him. "This is for greater good, Bill."

I finally pulled the knife out, letting his body hit the ground. He was still alive, and blood began flooding everything. His right hand went to the wound caused by the blade, covering it in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. He wouldn't be lucky.

"You may think I'm a murderer, but you can't compare yourself to me. You never could." I sat back in the chair, watching the life abandoning his body slowly. "The so terrifying acts you committed with these women, Bill, that can never be forgiven. You may killed the woman by accident, I wasn't there and I don't know, but everything else you did knowing full well what you were doing. Jess, Amy, and I suppose many others. You even tried to hurt Sookie, and that…" I wiped off a lone tear, and kept talking. "As I told you, let you alive is a risk to all of us, and I must maintain peace and order for the common good. Maybe I'll burn in hell for it, and if so, then we will meet again."

"I…Eric…" he muttered, but he could barely form a sentence.

"I won't seek for forgiveness for what I just did. I don't deserve and I don't think I'm going to get it. I don't care, but if this is enough for Sookie, the baby, Pam, Felicia, Amy, Jess, Tray and the rest to be safe, then I'll accept it gladly."

"Go…go…to hell…" he whispered, blood sticking out through his mouth.

"I may end up there," I replied smiling. "But you'll go first."

I remained sitting on the chair until it was over. It was faster, faster even than I expected, but also hard. I stood there looking at him dying slowly, blood flooding everything in its path, until there was not a drop inside his body.

I got up, walking over to his lifeless body, and shutting his eyes. I felt like a cold and ruthless murderer, true, but I really had to start thinking about the reason why I had done it. Compton's death gave us an advantage and security, and I could stop worrying about him once and for all.

However, I felt guilty. All would ask me questions, questions I wasn't convinced to be able to respond, and accusing eyes. These women were raped and tortured, some by Bill Compton's hand, but they still would look at me like a monster.

"Is it done?" When I opened the door I stepped into Tray leaning against the wall, arms folded, staring at me.

"Yeah." I muttered, looking down at the ground.

He walked towards me and grabbed my shoulder. "I'd say not to shame of yourself, but it won't serve. I've killed people, innocent people who did not deserve to die, but I had no choice." I looked into his eyes, understanding perfectly what he meant. "Bill Compton was not innocent, nor a good man. If the world remained being the one we knew, you shouldn't have done this. But things are very different now, Eric. We must fight for our lives, moving forward, leaving behind those who want to harm us, and ourselves along the way."

"I killed him without thinking. I just pounced on him and did it." I muttered, avoiding his gaze. "I prepared myself for it, but honestly, I didn't think I was able to."

"You had to do it, Eric."

"I know. But it doesn't make it easier to accept." I confessed, defeated. I just wanted to hide in a hole deep enough so no one could see me.

"You will never accept it. It's the truth, you'll always have it in your head, but eventually you'll understand that it was something you had to do. For Sookie's sake, the girls, and your future child."

Tray's words were not of much help, but at least helped me to accept – not completely – that sometimes you have to do things that are difficult or unpleasant, but they must be done. I'll never forgive myself for having killed a human being when we are so few of us left, but deep down I know I did because I had no choice.

At least I hope others understand it in the same way.

"Go with Sookie, Eric. You can't be alone now." I nodded and left, but not before making a stop in the bathroom to wipe the blood off my hands. Not a drop touched my clothing, which seemed impossible, but it was.

I had killed a man and I didn't get a stain.

Amy POV

"What are you doing?" I was strolling and found Jessica, gun in hand. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." She replied vaguely.

"And do you need a gun to go to nowhere?" I asked with an arched eyebrow. "What's happening, Jess?" She snorted, but she knew I wouldn't give up. Not that she needed to explain to me like I was her mother, but I worried that she was out there armed.

"Quinn." She said no more.

"What about him?" Had he escaped? Guess we'd have known if he did.

Jessica looked both ways before answering, as if it were a secret. "I know Tray and Eric have locked him up in a cell, and I'm going to look for it to find him. I just want to talk to him."

"With a gun?" I asked her again, firmly this time. "Jess, I know what you're going to do but I ask you, no, I beg you that you don't. Killing him will not change things, and only make you feel worse."

"Do you believe he wouldn't kill me to have the opportunity?!" She snapped furious. "It is John Quinn we're talking about. You know what he did to many of us, and yet you dare ask me to let him alive. For what? Do you care for him?" She couldn't have understood worse.

"It's not about him, Jess. Quinn doesn't matter to me at all, I don't care if he lives or dies, but I'm worried for you. You're like a sister to me, Jessica." I confessed, teary-eyed. "And I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me." She replied dryly.

I shook my head from side to side. "I will, Jess, because afterwards you won't be the same person anymore. You think killing someone is simple, you pull the trigger and it's over, but it's not. It's not like when Madden's men were shooting at us, we were defending ourselves then. We're talking about murder, killing someone in cold blood, and that's pretty different."

Jessica was silent, for the first time she seemed to have no answer, but I knew I wouldn't change her mind so easily. "We might kill them both. Quinn and Compton, and everything would end with them. I'm scared, Amy, and every time I close my eyes I imagine that bastard comes after me to kill me for what I did. I stuck a needle into him, I drugged him, and I am convinced he'll kill me at the first chance." She sobbed, but did not shed a tear. "Why don't take advantage and finish him?"

"Because you'll be like him!" I yelled, surprising her. "You can't pull the trigger, kill someone and expect nothing to change. That won't happen, Jessica, and the sooner you know the better."

I left, leaving her alone, and hoping she reconsidered and changed her mind. If she wanted to kill Quinn, if she was convinced, I know she would, but I prayed to be wrong.

"What happened to Bill?" She asked me suddenly.

I stopped but didn't turn around, waiting for the next question. "I know he did something bad, worse than usual, but when I asked Sookie, she wouldn't tell me a thing. She said it wasn't up to her to tell, that she must maintain the trust someone else had placed in her." I turned, looking into her eyes. "Amy, if we are friends, please tell me."

If Jessica was willing to kill Quinn, what would prevent her from doing the same with Bill when I told her the truth?

"He tried to rape me on the rooftop." I said in a small voice. "So Eric locked him up. Now you know." She was watching me with her mouth and eyes wide open, guess unable to believe what I just said. "I thought…I don't know, I thought leaving the mansion, Bill would be able to change. I didn't expect him to become a new and honest man overnight, I'm not stupid, but…" I breathed deeply, trying to express what was in my head. "I don't know why I thought, but I did. And when he kissed me…guess a part of me hoped that kiss was the beginning of a new attitude."

For a few seconds, the most distressing of my life, Jessica said nothing, she just stared at me. At least she had closed her mouth, and her eyes no longer seemed to want to escape from their sockets.

"I don't know if I got to feel something for him or I just thought… What matters is that nothing happened between us. We talked and I believed everything was clear, but then he acted like…"

"Like the monster he is." Jess cut me off, finishing the phrase for me.

"Exactly." I added softly. "I've tried forgetting everything, but it's not easy. Every time I close my eyes I see him coming towards me, and no one can prevent him from attacking me."

"Who prevented it?"

"Pam." I replied with a smile. "She came out of nowhere and hit him in the head with an iron bar." Even today, after the time has passed, I still feel proud of her.

"Pam? But she's just a kid…" I couldn't understand at first either, like Sookie and Eric, but that's what happened. And I'll be forever grateful that she saved my life. "I don't get it, why is he still alive after what he did? Eric, or any of us, should have killed him. It's the only way."

"Believe me, I've thought about it every night when I woke up from a nightmare. I was tempted to grab the gun, go up there and put a bullet between his eyes. But I did not, and you know why?"

"That would have turned you into someone like him."

"That's it. And I don't want to be like Bill Compton. I don't want others are afraid of me, to look at me as if I was capable of killing in cold blood. I am not a murderer, and those I've killed…well, I did it because they were not human beings, and because I had no choice."

"You shot the men who attacked us." Jess muttered.

"No." I shook my head quickly. "What I did was defend myself, like the rest of us." I got closer to her, brushing off her face the lovely red hair and smiling at her. "I will never kill for the pleasure of doing it. But I promise you that I'll pull the trigger and stab to anyone seeking to hurt me."

Jess smiled back and we melted into a strong hug. At least I managed to convince her to forget to look for Quinn to kill him. But for how long?

Eric POV

Tray left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. He was right when he said that it wouldn't be a good idea to be by myself, but at least I could think of a way to tell Sookie what I had done.

I murdered a man.

He was not an innocent man, nor a good man. But did he deserve to die?

I finally left the bathroom, checking I hadn't missed a drop of blood, and walked, without being aware of it, to the place where Sookie would be resting. Each time it was more difficult for her to move, and fatigue overcame her every few hours. Not to mention she couldn't stand up for long, at least she wanted to feel pain in her back and feet all day.

"Hi honey, I fell asleep again." She greeted me with a sweet smile from the bed, but unfortunately I couldn't reciprocate. "What's wrong?" Geez, took her less than two seconds to realize that something wasn't right.

"I've done a terrible thing."

She quickly got out of bed – or as fast as she could in her state – and walked toward me, taking my face in her hands.

"Eric, what are you talking about? What happened to you?" Tension in her voice was killing me. I hated to have to tell her this, but it'd only be a matter of time before everyone found out. "Eric, please, tell me what's wrong. I'm worried about you."

"I killed Bill."

"What…what?" At least she didn't pull away from me disgusted. It was a start. I think she wasn't able to believe what I had just confessed, or maybe yes, but she needed time to accept it.

"I didn't plan it," I muttered, trying to explain myself, "but when he started talking…I knew I had to. He was a risk for everyone, and I know in the end…" I couldn't continue speaking. The sobs prevented me from doing so, and the tears began flooding my eyes. "I'm sorry, Sookie…"

"Shhh," she whispered, hugging me to her chest. She was comforting me, but why? I really didn't deserve it but it was nice to feel loved by someone else at the time. "I knew that sooner or later you would, but it took me by surprise." I know Sookie was trying not to make me feel guilty, but it wasn't working. Guess anything she could say would make me feel better about what I did. "Eric, no one is going to blame you."

"How do you know?" I asked in a small voice. "I know we all thought Bill was just a traitor worm, but I killed him, and that will change things. They'll look at me like a murderer…"

"You are not!" She snapped. She took my hand and led me to the bed. We sat next to each other, and she grabbed my face so I didn't stop looking at her. "Listen to me carefully, Eric." Her voice was firm and calm. "You have not done anything wrong, okay? Bill Compton had to die, you said so yourself. He posed a serious threat to the group, and abandon him to his fate would have been worse than death. At least he wasn't bitten by a zombie and devoured to the bone. He had a quick death."

I wanted to say that it wasn't like that, he suffered until the last second, but I had no strength to.

"I still see you as the same man, Eric Northman. That hasn't changed and will never change." I looked away for a couple of seconds, but Sookie grabbed my face again to keep looking at my eyes. "You are going to be the best father in the world. You already are because you have saved us more times than I can count. Killing Bill was a necessary thing to move forward, we both know it, and eventually others will understand too."

I remained silent, not knowing what to say or if I should say something. I didn't expect Sookie to accept it so quickly, but I guess I questioned her again, and I thought the worst.

"We should tell the others." She said suddenly, her voice still firm, but she looked worried. "They'll find out anyway, and they deserve to know what happened. We won't tell them how you killed him, in fact I don't want to know either, just that you did it because you had to defend yourself."

"That's not true, Sookie…" I started complaining but she cut me off sharply. "Would you rather tell them that you were there with a plan to kill him?" I was surprised by the harshness of her voice, but she was right. "Sometimes we must embellish the truth to not be so horrible, and to accept it. That's what you have to do with Bill's death. No one will ever know the details, Eric."

I nodded, and Sookie insisted that I rested before facing the others' possible reactions. I didn't argue, in fact I was exhausted.

I was tired, yeah, but I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the blade getting through Compton, and his blood flooding out and forming a huge puddle on the ground. That was the last image that went through my mind before I felt Sookie's arms holding me by the waist. She was asleep, but I believe even sleeping she knew that I needed her next to me more than ever. She didn't judge me, and she could have. She just looked at my eyes and saw me like the same man she met months ago.

"Love you, baby." I put my hand on her belly and felt my child. "Love you both. And I hope you're not too hard on your father when you realize the bad things I've done. Everything has been for your sake, and your mother's sake. I have to take care of all of you, including your sisters. They are going to adore you," I added, chuckling. "And you'll have a good life. I'll make sure of it even if it's the last thing I do. A father must care for his children, and that's what I'll do. It's what I'm already doing."

"Love you, little Northman." I stroked her belly again, and I finally fell asleep.

Well, a lot of things have happened in this chapter.

Thanks for reading.

:K