The coffee was on the small table. The fire was burning. With a smile he took the two letters from the fireplace. The letter from his father, he had already read yesterday. Today were the turn of Koko's and Hoss' letters. Adam sat down in the chair and first opened the envelope of his brother. These were the first lines he wrote. It looked like Hoss had quite a long time to chew on the fact that Adam has gone to Boston.

Dear Adam,
please don't be angry that I didn't write until now. You know that I always have trouble finding the right words, and even more to bring it down on paper ...! I still cannot believe it's the third time you aren't here for Koko's birthday.

I don't know what to write to you because surely Pa has already reported everything what's going on at home. At school, it isn't so nice any more as Koko's no longer attending school since summer. Now I have hardly anyone who spends the breaks with me. Little Joe prefers to play with the other guys than me. You know him. Always only nonsense in mind. In fact I'd prefer not to go to school, too. As often as possible, I go to Koko in the afternoon and help her with the horses. Amarok would like Koko to take care of the farm alone one day so he can move back again to the village with Aponi. I can't imagine that I'll come to the farm one day and Aponi isn't there any more. But Koko reassured me that this won't happen within the next five years.

Adam had to smile. Hoss' only concern might be that he'd get no more cakes in the afternoon. But Adam had to admit that he would miss it, too. As good as the cakes of Hop Sing were, but they couldn't measure up with those from Aponi. Adam looked back at the letter.

Five years ... then you're finally back home, and who knows - maybe then you'll live at Koko's Farm.

Adam laughed and fell silent at once. Why he was suddenly so sure it would not be this way? When he left Nevada, he wasn't sure concerning the future with Koko, but now? Yes, he still loved Koko, but not like ... He quickly closed his eyes and tried to think of something else. He didn't want to pursue this idea. He took a deep breath and read on.

Pa would surely be pleased. He had once told me that he's almost certain that one day Koko will belong to our family, but it can indeed be that you stay in Boston working there. Then I'll just continue to take care of Koko. But nevertheless you have to get home because Koko and I've got a surprise for you.

I think I should go now and check on Little Joe. I am to take care of him and it's so quiet in the house.

With love, see you, Hoss

Carefully Adam put the letter back into the envelope. He was sorry to read that Hoss couldn't quite cope with school. Adam hoped Hoss was talking about his problems with his father and Koko. His brother took so much more to heart, and Adam still knew exactly how mean the other kids could be. He only needed to think of Koko and what she had to endure. Adam sipped his coffee and looked at the clock. He had plenty of time. Frederic was up at the office they shared and practiced for an exam. Both wanted to go out together later in the evening. He glanced into the fire, then opened Koko's letter.

My dear Adam,
you won't believe how relieved I was when I read your last letter, but also how much my heart was crying. I'd so have liked to be with you and to help you in this difficult time. Please, take good care of you in future so that you'll never get lost this way again. But I'm also proud of you that you don't give up, but try to finish your studies. I think if you had come home now, you've had asked all your life, if that had been the right decision. Please promise me that you go at least once a week on this plateau to find your inner peace. I know how ambitious you can be, but always remember, Boston isn't Nevada. At home you'll even find your peace when you ride home from town. But just as you wrote to me, Boston seems to be a city that doesn't know the moment of silence.

Adam, I think you should also consider whether you should stop working at Mr. Francois'. As you wrote to me, he certainly cannot like that you no longer want to work on the project.

Adam looked up at the ceiling. Indeed, since his last letter to Koko, a lot has changed. After his talk with Frederic's father he himself had packed his things on Monday and found a new job in a small office without any problems. Although he now got less money, he could very well live with the local projects. Adam didn't want Mr. Francois to eventually vent his anger about him on Frederic or Bridget. Therefore, it was better to avoid him completely.

Again he took the letter.

Adam, you cannot imagine how hard I had to laugh when I read about Frederic clinging onto a beam on the roof. His face I'd have liked to see. Wait and see when you've got so much influence on him, then he'll be here in Virginia City ahead of you and hired as a cowboy. Well, now we're heading for the main topic. Unfortunately you can't see my grin right now. How are you and Bridget? As you've described her, she doesn't fit to the Boston society, and since you wrote me a lot about her, she must have quite impressed you.

Adam laid his head back and looked at the ceiling again. Why did he had to write Koko about her? If he had known how things panned out, he wouldn't have done. Now she would certainly ask him about her in every letter and he didn't know what to say. He didn't know himself how he should classify his feelings for her. Adam closed his eyes. That was a lie, he knew exactly how his feelings for her were. But he wouldn't admit it. On the one hand he had promised Frederic, and secondly he didn't want to stay in Boston in any case after graduating. And just as he couldn't live in her world, she wouldn't be able to live in his world. Although Bridget spent much time at Giovanna and her family, she returned back home in the evening. In a house full of luxury. A luxury that didn't exist on the Ponderosa.

And could he actually be sure, that their hearts beat with the same rhythm? To this day he didn't know how he would recognize. Didn't his feelings play a prank on him? If his feelings were really so strong for her, shouldn't he want to stay here without hesitation? Adam thought about the talk he had with Koko near the creek when talking about their feelings. Today, as then, he hadn't understood the words, how to identify the right girl at his side. How should two hearts go together? He shouldn't rush ahead like a wild horse, but also not go behind like a scared rabbit. What was it, Amarok wanted to tell him then? Was a kiss already rushing ahead? But actually he needn't to worry about this. He couldn't start something that would come to an end in two years. He also didn't know how Bridget's feelings towards him were.

Adam noticed how he clenched his fist. He didn't want to think about it. He had to keep his emotions under control. Adam only wanted to enjoy these two years with his friends, and then go back home. There he would be able to forget her.

His eyes fell on the letter in his hand. It was impossible to read any further for Adam. Again he looked at the clock. There was still enough time. He stood up, put the letters back to the fireplace, took his jacket and went for a walk along the harbor.

XXXXX

The walk had done him good. His head was clear again and Adam had regained control. He hung his jacket on the coat rack, walked to the fireplace and took the stone in his hand. "I'm sorry, Koko. I can't finish reading your letter today ..." He put back the stone leaning with both hands on the warm fireplace, head down. "Koko, why aren't you with me? It's so hard to get no answer from you ... I miss you so much."

It crackled behind him, and he turned around. On the stairs stood Bridget looking at him. Adam took a deep breath. The way she looked, she had certainly heard him. He still wondered what to say, when the door opened up in the office, and he heard Giovanna and Frederic coming down. His friend was still on the stairs when he saw Adam. "Adam, there you are. I was beginning to think you'd gone without me."

"I only took a little walk."

The two were now next to Bridget. "Adam, would you mind a spontaneous change of plans?"

Adam looked at the three. "I'd say cautiously, 'No'."

"Bridget and Giovanna had the idea, if we could all go out for a dance tonight."

"Dancing?" Adam scratched embarrassed behind his ear. "Don't you have any other idea?"

His friend looked at him in surprise. "Why? Don't you feel like dancing? Since we never have been out for a dance, it'll be something different." Frederic looked at his sister and her friend. "I think this will certainly be fun and Adam, ... three against one. You're outvoted."

Adam crossed his arms and looked at the floor. Then he looked back at his friends and wiping his eyes he spoke very softly. "I cannot dance."

Frederic came toward him. "You cannot WHAT?"

Adam looked at him annoyed. "You understood me perfectly well."

First Frederic looked at him in disbelief, but then he grinned from ear to ear. "You don't want to tell me that the great Adam Cartwright, whom goes everything so easily out of hand, and seemingly has everything in control, cannot dance?"

Adam looked at his friend still slightly annoyed. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course. I've finally found something that I can do better, but tell me why you cannot dance."

"Could we change the subject?"

From his three friends he got an emphatic 'No'. Adam took another deep breath. "I had no time for that. I left Virginia City at seventeen and before that the opportunity simply didn't arise."

Frederic stood still grinning in front of him, then he went at his side and put an arm around his shoulder. "My friend, you can't imagine what a lucky guy you are. Even if you aren't quite fond of the way we grew up, you can benefit from it now. Bridget and I had to learn to dance quite young, and when we're done with you, you'll be the best dancer in Nevada."

Adam looked around. "Can't we just forget the whole thing?"

"No, my friend, we won't. We both go now to change clothes, then we'll start, and you get your first lesson."

Frederic pushed his friend towards the stairs.

"Come on, Adam ..." Giovanna looked at him kindly. "... with Bridget you've got a good teacher."

He glanced at Bridget, who also didn't look very enthusiastic. The two men walked upstairs and disappeared into their rooms.

Giovanna looked at her friend and frowned. "What's going on, Bridget? Don't you like to go out with those two?"

Bridget went into the living room and sat down in one of the armchairs. Her friend followed her and sat down, too. "What's wrong with you lately? One minute you're happy that we do something with your brother and Adam, and the next minute I got the notion, you want to be back home as quickly as possible."

Bridget's gaze went to the fireplace and the stone. Today wasn't the first time she had heard Adam speaking with Koko aloud. Only today he had noticed her. But she had firmly resolved that she wanted to accept that there was no future for them both. She wanted to spend the rest of the time he was here in Boston with him in friendship. She was so happy to have found someone who didn't look disparagingly or thought her to be crazy. He hadn't laughed that she preferred to reproduce her thoughts and feelings in a drawing and not in words, and thus her sketchpad was her diary.

Adam loved nature as she did. With no one else she could walk along the coast, without a lot of talking. With a smile Bridget thought about how they had spontaneously taken two horses from the livery stable. They had left Boston and were galloping across the meadows. These were hours she'd never forget. But what she kept forgetting was that there was Koko and then she was - as today - brought into reality again. Finally she found a man with whom she got along without too many words, and to whom the Boston society was just as important as to her, and then there was Koko.

"Is it again because of Adam?" Bridget looked on to the fireplace and just nodded. "But what happened? You just went down briefly before us."

"He talked to her again."

Giovanna looked at Bridget sympathetically. Her friend had told her quite early what she felt for Adam, and both had been shocked when Frederic told them about Koko. "Why don't you talk to him? After all you usually always say what you're thinking."

Both looked at each other again. "What sense would it make? He's making no secret about the fact that he wants to return to Nevada again after graduating. You and know very well that the reason isn't only that he doesn't feel comfortable here, but that he wants to return back to her."

"But you told me that he was about to kiss you now and then. Perhaps his feelings for Koko aren't so big?"

Bridget chuckled. "You've never heard when he speaks loudly to her. A little while ago he said how much he misses her." Bridget took a deep breath and looked at her friend determined. "What I've said the last few weeks. It's just the way it is. In a few days it's Christmas, and I'm sure that we all will spend a nice evening at your home. And I've got at least two years with Adam, which I won't be robbed of." She smiled again. "And now I'm going to teach him to dance. Because I think this is possibly the closest I can ever get."