All right people! This time for real, this is the end! I hope you enjoyed reading that story, no matter how cruel, how torturing it was sometimes...and I hope you won't be too disappointed with this epilogue. Before you start reading it, I wanted to say that we sincerely had a blast writing that story in French, writing the fun and the horror as well, finding the right music for the right scenes, adding special effects like Rainymood etc, and I personally enjoyed translating it into English. I'm really grateful for the feedbacks and the comments about the grammar mistakes sometimes or vocabulary tips, it was really kind of you and very helpful! Anyway, thank you so much guys for your reviews, your patience and your support during the last months. It means a lot! :) I'm kinda sad the story is over now, but who knows, maybe I'll translate other Castle stories in the future. ;)
One last thing, as it's the very last chapter, Hell-and-Bliss also wanted to write a disclaimer for you so here it is ;) :
Hi guys! Like my friend and co-writer Jabamiah, I wanted to THANK YOU for ALL your reviews and support...this story is one of my favorite story ever, I enjoyed writing it so much (yes, especially the Esplanie parts since these two are my OTP forever ;) ) and I just love that so many people, French and English speaking, read and loved it. It was just wonderful to read each of your review, because yes I did read ALL of them even tho I'm not the one posting it here...I'm sooooo grateful to my co-writer Jabamiah for translating it SO well from our native French. Thank you thank you thank you! Hope you'll enjoy the epilogue :) xoxo Marine (hell-and-bliss here or hellandbliss8 on Twitter)
Now it's time for reading. Thank you again for everything! xoxo
*EPILOGUE**
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9 days later...
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The hallway of the service of St Vincent hospital looked fresh and perfectly desinfected...Maybe a little bit too much. The heady smell of antiseptics almost gave Javier Esposito a headache although he'd been there only for a few minutes.
"Hello, detective!" a voice welcomed him, a few meters ahead, in the hallway. Esposito recognized the person.
"Mrs Keanan," he replied with a grin.
"Oh, you look very classy today," the old nurse said. Wearing a white coat, she looked at the detective in front of him from head to toe. Indeed, Javier was wearing a dark suit for special occasions, as well as a black tie and polished shoes of the same color.
"We have a...special event," he replied as he adjusted his tie. He didn't want to give more details. "How is she doing today?" he asked the nurse. She gave him a knowing look.
"She can't stop complaining...Well, you know her."
"Oh yes I do." Javier said with a half smile.
"The doctor agrees to let her go out for today, and since she's a ME, she signed the authorization. But you'll be careful okay? She must not weigh on her legs, nor leave her wheelchair without your help. I tell you that because she's tried twice or three times already, behind our back..." the nurse sighed with a soft smile.
"Don't worry, she won't leave her wheelchair, I can assure you that," he promised with authority.
"Fine. Have a good day then. And please don't bring her back here too late, she has a rehabilitation session early in the morning, tomorrow."
"Got it. We'll be careful," the latino replied with a smile before he thanked the nurse. She walked away while Javier stepped towards the room in question. He glanced at the small window before he knocked and entered.
"Lanie? It's me, I..."
He stopped talking when he saw the young woman, wearing a black dress, the one she was wearing for Montgomery's funeral, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to climb on the wheelchair next to her bedside table.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked as he rushed to her.
"Isn't it...obvious?" she managed to say, pushing on her arms with difficulty.
He sighed heavily as he leaned on her.
"Lanie stop it right now. You can't leave your bed," he said as he grabbed her arms.
"You stop it. I can do it myself," she mumbled as she kept moving, trying to escape his grip. But Esposito held her tighter so Lanie couldn't protest.
"Lanie, stop! The doctors said you musn't try to get in your wheelchair alone..." he said as he kept staring at her. She glared at him.
"I am a doctor."
"Not here."
She rolled her eyes.
"Jav..."
"No discussion. If you want to get in your wheelchair, you have to let me help you."
She bit her lips, irritated but replied nothing as she slightly opened her arms a few seconds later so he could help her get in the wheelchair. He smiled softly, satisfied she finally gave up, and helped her sit.
When she was installed, she crossed her arms and wouldn't look at him.
"What." He sighed, guessing there was a problem and maybe he did something wrong.
"Nothing." she replied in low voice, staring at her fingernails.
"Hey..." he whispered, stroking her cheek with the back of his thumb. The skin of her face was burnt in places, because of the smoke of the accident. Luckily, the doctors had said it wouldn't be permanent. She also had scratches on the temple and huge bruises on the forearms.
Javi waited for her to look at him but she wouldn't.
"Chica..."
"I'm a drag, for you." She cut him off, her eyes still dropped.
"Lanie..." he sighed as he shook his head.
"Stop, you know I'm right." She shook her head as she finally looked at him. "Everytime you come to see me, it's for helping me get in that stupid chair, wondering every single second whether I'm going to walk again someday...You deserve better than taking care of a cripple every day of your life."
Javier knelt down beside her and grabbed her hand.
"Tell me...Will you stop thinking for me?" he said, offering her a cute smile.
Lanie looked at him like a little girl.
"What if I do like helping you get in your wheelchair, every single day?"
She gave him the eye.
"Stop it...it's degrading."
"You survived a serious accident, Lanie, and you're lucky to only have a few broken ribs and a fracture on both femurs and knees..."
"Did you see my arms? And the burns on my cheeks?" she mumbled.
"You know they'll all be gone in a few days."
"It's horrible," she complained.
"No it's not. I call it a miracle."
"A miracle..." she snorted.
"It could have been worse," he said in a serious tone. She knew what he meant. She almost died in that accident.
"Well maybe it should have," she stammered in low voice without looking at him.
"Enough now," he scolded, almost coldly.
She replied nothing.
"You know the recovery will take some time...But you need to accept it. Lanie, maybe you won't walk tomorrow or in a week, or a month...But if you think this is going to make me leaving you, you're making a big mistake."
The ME gave a faint smile after his speech and gazed at him. Then she dropped her head to hide the tears that were filling in her eyes and she sniffed discreetly, as she intertwined Esposito's fingers to hers.
"Is it true?" she stammered.
"No, it's not. Speaking of which, as soon as I bring you back here this afternoon, I'll go hit on chicks to replace you."
Lanie pinched his fingers hard to punish him.
"Ouch." he laughed, still holding her hand.
"That was mean."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, stroking her cheek softly. Lanie smiled and savored his touch.
"I just want you to stop thinking about that kind of things."
"But we barely got back together!" she pleaded, concerned. "And I'm scared you find me boring...and you'd be right, because it's not funny being with a girl who can't stand up by herself."
"Tss," he cut her off, shaking his head. "Too bad the accident didn't make you loose your tongue, you'd stop saying nonsense..." he said, doing his best not to laugh. Lanie gave him the eye.
"I'm serious...It's degrading. It's such a shame having to rely on everybody for stupid things..."
"Lanie, for the millionth time, it takes time to recover. You just have to accept it, and be patient."
"I'm sick of being here!"
"It's been only a week or so!" he let out a laugh.
"It's too much already...I'm sick of the nurses, the doctors who tell me the same thing three times a day...sick of this smell of desinfectant, sick of having visits only in a rush, sick of sleeping on this uncomfortable bed...especially without you," she ended, angry.
"Oh," he smiled, softened by her words. Then he leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. "Me too, my bed feels lonely without you chica. But I keep you a warm place, I promise," he whispered, his hand still stroking her cheek.
Lanie gave him a skeptical look as he dropped his hand. He frowned.
"What?"
"Are you sure you're not letting someone else warming up my place?"
Javier let out a laugh and shook his head.
"I can see how much you trust me, thanks."
Lanie dropped her eyes and bit her lips, regretting what she said.
"I'm sorry," she replied. "But we've been back together for only a week or so and...and we haven't had time to...yet...you know", she stammered.
Esposito interrupted her, laughing.
"I see," he nodded, amused. "And you think that because it's been a week and we haven't...yet, you think I'm going to look for someone else?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
She stared at him a few seconds before she shook her head with a heavy sigh.
"No, you're right. I trust you."
"You can."
"I know...I'm sorry, I'm tired, that's all," she whispered, dropping her eyes.
"I know honey, I don't blame you," he replied with a soft voice, gazing at her tenderly.
A few seconds later she raised her look to his.
"Can you do me a favor?" she asked shyly as he slowly backed off.
"Anything you want."
"Do you mind...closing my dress?" she asked as she pointed at her back. "I can't reach the zipper."
"No problem...although I prefer undress you," he said, smiling, as he stood up.
"Yes, I know that," Lanie said, offering him a knowing smile.
He walked around the wheelchair and went behind her, just in front of the bed. Lanie slightly bent over so he could reach the zipper, just above the hook of her bra. He took the small piece of metal and zipped it slowly to the top.
Lanie felt his warm hand against her shoulder blade, tracing soft circles on her skin. She smiled and leaned her head, to invite him stroking her neck. He did. Gosh she had missed his touch. She would always love the feeling of his fingers on her skin, so protective, and he would never get tired of touching her either.
After he zipped a dress, Javier leaned on her neck, put some dark locks of hair aside on her shoulder, then softly kissed her skin. Lanie quivered, feeling his warm breath. He kissed her another time, just before he laid his chin on his shoulder.
"I can't believe I almost lost you..." he whispered, placing his arm around her. She savored his touch and leaned her temple against Javier's, still resting on her back.
"I would have lost my mind." He added in a whisper, brushing her cheek with his lips.
"Don't say that." She whispered. "Everybody gets over it in the end."
"Not me, Lanie. I love you so much..."
He ended his phrase with a kiss on her cheek for long seconds.
"Me too, so much...me too." She whispered in a barely audible voice as she raised her hand and stroked the latino's cheek against hers. She softly buried her nails in the fleshy skin of his cheek.
A few seconds later, a knock on the door interrupted their moment of intimacy.
"Knock, knock...are we interrupting something?"
It was Jenny Ryan's soft voice. Javier stood up and shook his head.
"Of course not, please come in."
Jenny pushed the door, and Kevin Ryan, sitting on a wheelchair as well, entered. He was wearing a classy charcoal gray suit, and he was holding a beautiful bunch of multicolor flowers. Jenny, who was pushing the wheelchair, was wearing a black dress, similar to Lanie's. Her hair was tied back in a half ponytail.
"How are you doing bro?" Esposito asked as he watched Kevin coming closer.
"Not too bad...my scar is aching today though...but I'm trying to forget it. I can't believe the doctors wanted me to go with a catheter..." he mumbled.
"Maybe it would have been better," Jenny said.
"I'd rather die," Kevin said with a smile. "Here, Lanie. This is for you."
He lent her the bunch he was holding. However, as she was sitting in the wheelchair, it was too far for her to reach it. Esposito grabbed it for his girlfriend.
"For me?" Lanie asked, staring at Kevin and Jenny, surprised. "But it's not even my birthday or..."
Kevin rolled his eyes.
"Stop...You saved my life, have you already forgotten?"
She rolled her eyes as well.
"It was nothing...And without real hospital care you would have never survived."
"Oh come on, you saved me. And for your record, I'll buy you flowers everyday for this," he replied.
Javier stared at Kevin skeptically, then looked at the bunch before he lent it to Lanie reluctantly.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to interpret it...you offering flowers to my girl, right before my eyes."
"Well, you can offer me flowers too, Javi...I love white roses you know," Jenny said, giving the latino a wink.
"Finally a man on this earth who's thinking about offering me flowers..." Lanie whispered as she grabbed the bunch. Javier gave her the eye.
"Seriously Lanie?! You've always told me you don't like gifts," he said, offended.
"All women say that, Javier. They mean they want some," Jenny explained, amused.
Esposito glanced at Kevin.
"Did you know that?"
"Dude, everybody knows that," he nodded.
"Well, women are evil..." he mumbled.
"Don't worry honey, I'll teach you how we work...They're beautiful Kevin, thank you." Lanie said with a smile, gazing at the flowers in amazement.
"You're welcome...soon you'll be able to open your own store," he said, looking at the other bouquets in every corner of her room.
"Good idea, I'll think about it, that would be a change compared to the artificial lights of the morgue..." Lanie teased. "Anyway, you look great, it's good to see you," she said, looking at the Irish man.
"Stuck in a wheelchair for long though...but at least, I'm alive..." he nodded.
"Join the club..." Lanie sighed.
"You better be alive and healthy, you future Daddy," Jenny smiled tenderly behind the chair, as she stroked her husband's hair.
"True. Especially since we'll have to make ten more babies so we can have our soccer team."
Javier let out a laugh.
"Irishmen and soccer? Nah, try rugby man...But you'll need five more."
Kevin raised an eyebrow and turned his head towards Jenny.
"Fifteen children? What do you think, honey?"
Jenny's eyes widened.
"I think we should focus on this one, first, shouldn't we?"
"Sure", the young man said as he gazed at her. Then he glanced at his watch and frowned.
"We better be going now, or we're going to be late to the funerals."
"Yeah," Javier nodded sadly as he glanced at his phone.
"I musn't forget my purse, there's a CD Kate asked me to bring," Lanie said.
"Any news?" Jenny asked.
"She called me this morning," the young woman nodded.
"And how's Rick?"
Lanie shrugged.
"According to Kate, he wasn't feeling good this morning...Alexis either, she wouldn't leave her room. It must be tough for Kate, she doesn't know what to do exactly..."
"For sure, it must be hard for all of them..." Javier said.
"It's a good thing Beckett is with them, they're going to need support, especially Rick." Kevin added. "Shall we join them at the church directly?"
"Yeah...better not be late," Esposito nodded as he grabbed Lanie's bunch and put it on the bedside table. Then he lent her her purse she put on her knees. Then Javier walked behind the chair and grabbed the handles, ready to push.
"Jenny, since we both come back to the hospital this afternoon, to bring back our drags, shall we take one car?"
Lanie hit him hard on the arm after that.
"Ouch!"
"Wait and see the drag getting her scalpels back..." she added, sighing heavily.
"You, drag," Kevin mumbled as well.
"Geez, how touchy our cripple people are..." Javier said, giving Jenny a smile.
"Sure they are, and there's still a long way to go..." the pretty blonde girl replied mischievously as she pushed Kevin's chair to the entrance door.
Feeling Lanie got upset, Javier leaned over and searched for her look but she turned her head. He pinched her cheek softly to make her react but she shook her head again.
"Are you mad at me, chica?"
"Shut up and push," the ME replied, pouting.
The oil painting Rick was staring at represented a white sailing boat on a dull blue and calm ocean. It was too dull for him to be a real interesting painting. However, Martha Rogers loved it and since she wasn't there anymore, Rick couldn't help staring at it, just above the bed. He was analyzing every layer of paint and every details of that painting he had never truly liked. But today, everything was different. Rick swallowed hard as he felt tears filling his eyes.
"Alexis, can I come in?"
It was Kate Beckett's voice.
Sitting on her bed, brushing her hair mechanically, Alexis slowly turned her head towards her bedroom's door.
"Sure," she replied with a shaky voice. Kate entered. The teenage girl was wearing a black skirt suit and shoes with the same color. She looked pale and her eyes with no makeup on were red. Kate could see she hadn't stopped crying judging by her eyes and all the tissues on the floor.
"You look so pretty," Kate said with a smile as she came closer to her bed. She was also wearing a black skirt and a skin-tight grey top that was matching her slender figure. Her hair was tied in a low tight bun.
"I think I look horrible...but I don't care of what I look like today," Alexis said, dropping her eyes.
"How can you say that...Did you see your eyes?" Kate replied softly, sitting on the bed, next to Alexis.
"Grandma used to say I had her eyes when I was a little girl, and she also told me it was like she saw herself when she looked at me," the ginger girl said, nostalgic.
"That is absolutely true," Kate nodded. "Okay, I've never seen your grandmother when she was younger but..."
"There," Alexis interrupted, lending a photo to Kate. She looked at it with a smile. There was a striking resemblance.
"Martha was right. She just looked like you. And you are beautiful."
"You really think so?" Alexis asked, with a shaky voice. Kate nodded in silence as the young girl looked back at the old picture.
Alexis raised her look to the detective again. This time, tears were filling her eyes.
"What are we gonna do without her?" she said as her voice trailed off.
Kate couldn't help taking the young girl in her arms. Alexis fell in her arms, sobbing against her shoulder.
"I miss her so much already..."
"I know, Alexis. I know it's hard, and believe me, I wish I could find the right words to make you feel better..."
Kate stroked Alexis's arm in silence for a few seconds before the ginger girl backed off a little bit, her face red because of the tears.
"May I ask you a question?" she asked softly as she wiped her cheeks.
"Of course."
"How did you do, when your mother died? I mean...How did you get over it?"
Kate nodded.
"I don't know if I can say I got over it...But time is a healer. It took me years to understand that. When it happens, you think you've lost faith forever but, in the end, years after, you find yourself smiling again and you realize that life is worth living after all. Life is beautiful, you know. Just different."
"It's not the feeling I have right now..." Alexis sighed, sniffing.
"It will change, you'll see. Life is unpredictable and sometimes cruel, but it's beautiful anyway. You need to accept it and love it whatever the cost, because you only have one, and you must enjoy it to the fullest. Your grandmother used to have that philosophy, didn't she?"
"True," Alexis nodded shyly as she wiped another tear.
"And you'll have it too, because she gave it to you. That, and her beautiful eyes." Kate smiled as she gave Alexis the picture back.
The redhaired young girl smiled as she stared at the picture with emotion.
"Wow. Your first smile of the day," the detective said.
"Nothing's impossible, i guess." Alexis replied.
"Nothing at all."
Alexis shared a look with Kate and took a deep breath.
"I'll try to keep loving life and find it beautiful, because my grandmother did."
"Good girl." Kate smiled.
"Thanks Kate. It was nice talking to you...And I know my dad cares a lot about you, so thank you really, for being supportive and here for him now."
Kate nodded and put a hand on Alexis's.
"No worries. I'm glad to be there for you, although I'd have preferred other circumstances for us to start talking seriously."
"Whem Mom told me she couldn't make it today, I really didn't know how I would survive this day...But in the end, it'll be fine since you're here, and it's good to have you with us in the loft."
"You're sweet...And I'm sorry your mother isn't here. But you can talk to me, whenever, anytime...I'll be there for you, ready to listen, always. Even if you want to call me in the middle of the night or when I'm not around, that won't be a problem."
"Thank you."
"Need some help for your hair?"
Alexis shook her head.
"No thanks...I'm almost ready. When do we have to go?"
Kate glanced at her watch.
"In ten minutes, that would be good. I'll go check on your father, see if he's ready, okay?"
Alexis nodded in silence and kept brushing her hair, watching at her grandmother's picture while Kate left the room.
After she went downstairs, crossed the kitchen and the living room, Kate arrived at the door of the writer's room. She could see him from back, standing in front of his bed, already wearing his charcoal suit.
Kate entered discreetly, without knocking.
"Hey..." she whispered as she came next to him.
He didn't reply immediately, still staring at the painting of the sailing boat.
"Mother offered me that painting years ago." He said then, pointing at the painting with a nod. "I found it horrible but she told me it was inspiring. That the ocean soothed her when she watched it and that she was sure I'd also find inspiration for my novels."
Kate looked at the painting as well and frowned.
"Why don't you like it? I think it's beautiful."
With a heavy sigh, Rick shrugged.
"I found it dull, not interesting...but now I see it differently."
Kate gazed at him tenderly and stroked his arm.
"How do you feel?" she whispered.
"Like someone who's about to go to his mother's funeral...whereas the last thing I did before she died was blaming her..."
Kate frowned.
"Don't say that."
Rick turned his head and faced her.
"The last time I talked to her, Kate, it was in the bathroom...I almost yelled at her because Alexis was missing. Then I left without even checking she was fine."
"Alexis was missing, Rick, you said it. She was panicked just like you and as a mother, she completely understood your reaction...Do you really think she cared about what you told her under the influence of emotion?" Kate tried to convince him.
"But still, that was the last time we were together..." he said, his voice trailing off.
"You didn't know that..." the detective said as she shook her head.
"I'm sure the last thing she remembered before she died was me, almost yelling at her in the bathroom..."
"You know it's not true... Stop torturing yourself," she added in a whisper as she stroked his cheek. "Martha loved you more than anyone, and she was very proud of you. And she was right, because you're an extraordinary man." Kate said softly.
Rick closed his eyes, savoring the touch of Kate's hand on his cheek.
"It feels good to have you by my side..." he whispered after a few seconds.
"Where else could I be, a day like this?" Kate smiled when he opened his eyes. "You can count on me, Rick. Always."
He replied with a smile and gazed at her.
"I know. And that feels good...Because I'm not ready for what is about to happen next. I may be an adult and I knew that I would have to go to my mother's funeral someday but...now it's too soon." He admitted, his voice trailing off.
"Nobody's ready for this, Rick." Kate replied softly as she adjusted his tie. "Even if you know it's going to happen one day, when it actually happens it's not easy...But like I said to Alexis, time is a healer, and life is still beautiful...It took me some time to get it when my mother died...but it's true."
Hearing Kate's words of wisdom, Rick thought about his daughter for a few seconds. He remembered when he got back to the manor and announced her the bad news, after the accident, when Esposito went to the nearest hospital in the ambulance with Lanie. He remembered Alexis's outburst when he told her, and just thinking about it gave him the chills again.
"I think it's even worse for her than for me...She's so young, and they were so close...even closer than with her own mother..."
"Speaking of whom, Alexis told me she's sad that Meredith can't come." Kate replied.
Rick smirked.
"That is typically Meredith...She doesn't realize how much Alexis needs support in this kind of situation...But honestly I have to admit I really don't want to see her anyway, considering the circumstances...I need to stay calm."
"The most important is that you are here for Alexis," Kate replied as she kissed him softly on the lips. "Come on now, we better be going now...Espo called me fifteen minutes ago, Lanie, he and the Ryans are on their way."
Castle nodded and turned to his desk. He grabbed a piece of paper he folded up and turned to Kate.
"I prepared a funeral oration, but...I don't even know if I have the strength to read it..." he admitted.
Kate smiled and grabbed the paper he was holding.
"If you can't, I'll do it for you," she replied as she held it tight. "I'm sure it's beautiful...just as the one you wrote for Gina."
Rick smiled as he thought about it. His ex-wife's funeral was six days ago and Gina's family, considering the circumstances, had asked the writer to come to the ceremony. He attended with Kate, always supportive. After all, Gina and he used to be married and they remained close. Rick had to mourn for her as well.
"Come on, we must go now." Kate added as she adjusted the writer's tie one last time. He let her do and gazed at her with a soft smile.
"Thank God you're here."
Kate raised her look to his and smiled. This time, Rick leaned forward to kiss her softly. He stayed against her lips for a few seconds before he opened his arms and pulled her against his torso. Kate fell against him and felt Rick's chin on her hair.
"I would have preferred other circumstances to finally hold you in my arms..." he whispered after a few seconds, as he was referring to their horrible weekend.
She fainted a smile against his chest.
"That's for sure...Don't invite me in the Hamptons, never again," she said.
"Hell no." Rick replied seriously. "I'm meeting my real estate developer the day after tomorrow anyway...I can't wait to sell the house."
Kate nodded and searched for his gaze.
"We'll build new memories in another house, brand new and way more beautiful memories, you'll see..." she whispered. He locked his eyes on her, touched by her words.
"Is that a promise?" he whispered.
"Yes it is," she replied with a smile, her eyes brilliant.
He nodded and smiled back at her before he put his lips against hers, again.
Kate was right, time was a healer. And he knew that from now on, life would be more beautiful with her by his side.
.
THE END