Sorry for the wait. I rewrote this like six times and was almost done it when I headed to Disney. So unfortunately when I couldn't find any wireless connection in my hotel I couldn't finish it. I got it up as fast as I could though and I hope the length helps a little. It is 3, 339 words. I hope you like it! P.S. check out my other story Wolfprint.
Meg
I slipped of my flip flops at the end of the mat. I closed my eyes and centered myself.
My iPod, which had been playing softly in the background, changed songs. The song that now filled the air was the song that had been my saving grace these last few years. It helped remind me each time I wanted to give up, first when I was training for the Olympics, and then after that when I was alone, that there was something worth fighting for. That no matter what happened, or who let me down, I knew I could always depend on my own strength.
It was a song written by a fellow Olympic Gymnastics Champion, Carly Patterson. It was called Step Away and it spoke volumes.
Almost without conscious thought, my body began to move. I floated through my first steps as though I had no choice, but then I lost myself to the music and began to dance with my whole being.
Hey you could help me out?
'Cause it seems I've lost my way
This life and its pain and strife has seen its brighter days
Hang on you say.
Don't stop you say.
Could help be on the way?
I twirled slowly, bringing my hands to my chest artfully.
I moved a few steps falling back into long held steps that I had rarely used in the last few months. I switch leaped gracefully, landing in a scale.
I'm movin' on.
I'm passing through the crossroads. Whoa
I will be strong
I'm looking for tomorrow. Whoa
It's only a step away.
Swinging the leg extended in the scale, I flipped my body gracefully to the ground. I rolled to my knees, and resting on my hands kicked out my legs with my toes pointed.
It's dark and it's getting late.
The day has long passed by.
I'm not moving,
I'm losing time.
Could the starlight be my guide?
Let go you say.
Keep on you say.
'Cause help is on the way. Yeah
Pushing up on my arms, I arched my back and head, bringing my pointed feet to touch the back of my head. I pushed into a handstand and straight into a tick tock. I twirled thrice on my hands before lowering to a split and throwing back my head. Rolling backward to my feet, I turned in a scale. Spreading my arms I ran a few steps into a leap.
Edward Pov:
Opening my eyes, I confirmed what my other senses had already deduced. I was frozen in place as I watched Bella stand in the middle of the floor.
I knew this was my chance; that it was fate, but there was something in the look on her face that held me immobile in my seat.
I was entranced and could do nothing more than stare in amazement at the beautiful sight before me.
She began to move and it seemed as though she was floating. As she turned slowly the song on my iPod changed. Josh Groban's So She Dances began playing. It seemed as though she were moving perfectly to the song even though I knew she couldn't hear it.
A waltz when she walks in the room
She pulls back the hair from her face
She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight
Even her shadow has grace
A waltz for the girl out of reach
She lifts her hands up to the sky
She moves with the music
The song is her lover
The melody's making her cry
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
I had forgotten how beautiful she was. My draw dropped as her short tight shorts allowed me a look at her amazing legs. It wasn't much for a starving man to live on, but it was enough. I was raised to be a gentleman but that didn't mean I couldn't appreciate her sexiness (not that I would do anything about it). I mentally smacked myself and tried to focus. Hey, it was a lame excuse, but the key word in gentleman was man right? Besides I doubt I could find a single person in the world who would blame me. Okay, maybe I could but I am pretty sure I could sway them to my point of view. Focus, Edward!
And I had forgotten the pull she had on me. It seemed as though every movement she made was pulling me harder than the force of gravity. I had seen her grace before with gymnastics, but when she danced….
I was secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I could feel when she danced. It seemed as though all of the emotions I had been feeling in the last couple months were being written with each small gesture or toe point.
Bella Pov:
I'm movin' on.
I'm passin' through the crossroads. Whoa
I will be strong
I'm looking for tomorrow. Whoa
It's only a step away from pastimes
just so caught up inside
Help me find my way to the end of this ride
I won't let me down. Whoa
It's only a step away
I'm movin' on (I'm movin' on)
I'm passin' through the crossroads (through the crossroads)
Whoa (whoa)
Catharsis. That was what this was. In the past any form of workout would suffice if I was stressed, but for some reason this dance allowed me peace far better than any crying jag or workout I have had in the last few months.
I moved into an arabesque penche. It was one of my favorite ballet moves, but as it wasn't rated in the code of points I rarely got to use it. It started out simply with an arabesque, then I simultaneously lowered my upper body and raised my back leg until it was straight in the air and I had wrapped my hands around my base ankle. I pirouetted in a continuous motion, swinging my leg out behind me again and again, in a fouette. I switched positions, bending it toward my other calf before swinging it back out again. Finally I span into an illusion.
Edward Pov:
A waltz for the chance I should take
But how will I know where to start?
She's spinning between constellations and dreams
Her rhythm is my beating heart
So she dances
In and down off the ground like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
I can't keep on watching forever
I give up this view just to tell her
This was my chance. She was right in front of me. All I had to do was call out to her. But I couldn't. Not only did I not know what to say, but I also didn't know if I could interrupt her. It was as though she were going through a form of catharsis. I understood that well. In recent months when it had all gotten to be too much I would sit in the center of the pool for as long as I could hold my breath. It was the only place I found peace and after causing her that much pain, could I really begrudge her finding peace?
It was like I could see all of the pain and stress flowing off her, and as she danced she seemed to grow lighter and leap higher.
I was still fighting with myself. I needed to take my chance because who knew if this opportunity would ever present itself again. But at the same time I still couldn't bring myself to interrupt her. I compromised. I would wait until she was done, and hope it wasn't too late.
Bella Pov:
I will be strong (I will be strong)
I'm looking for tomorrow (for tomorrow)
Whoa (whoa)
It's only a step (It's only a step)
I've made up my mind (made up my mind)
I threw my head back as I bent backwards, my arms thrown out behind me. I simultaneously rose to demi pointe (on your toe but not fully on the tip of your toes), raised one bent leg to my other calf, and threw back my arms. My loose tunic top and my streaming hair floated around me as though they were dancing too. Jumping up in the same position, I touched my toes to my head.
I felt stronger secure in myself. Every little revelation that I would survive had been leading up to this moment. The moment in which I realized not only could I survive, but I could thrive.
Edward Pov:
When I close my eyes I can see
The spotlights are bright on you and me
We've got the floor
And you're in my arms
How could I ask for more?
All this time I had been seeing this idealized version of what our relationship should be. How it should have been picture perfect. How I should have never had to leave her to keep her safe. How our athletic careers and obligations shouldn't get in the way of us spending time together. But I never stopped to realize that that is what made us who we were. I knew that I wouldn't have fell in love with her if she didn't have that amazing personality. Her drive and irritating stubbornness, and complete faith made her the perfect match for me. If I were being honest, I would have to admit I was stubborn, and stupid too. If it hadn't been for my stupidity and complete obstinate belief that I was right in leaving her and no other way would work, well let's face it, we wouldn't be in this mess.
Bella Pov:
Now is the time (now is the time)
Whoa (whoa)
It's only a step
Away
I had been relying on others for support all of this time. Looking for their approbation that I could succeed, never thinking that I had everything I needed inside. The strength of a warrior, the drive of a competitor, the heart of a champion!
I twirled before dancing through two leaping bounds. I leapt into the air my body in a split both arms and legs. I had leapt so high and was on a diagonal that it looked as though I were in a slanting point towards the ground. I felt as if I had wings in that leap!
Edward Pov:
So she dances
In and down off the ground like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
She was amazing! For her to have the courage to fight through everything. I could see that I had knocked her down with my actions, but as I watched her leap into the air as though she were flying, I realized just how strong she was. She was probably, no definitely, stronger than me. I had been so resolute in trying to protect her that I never realized she didn't need protection. Hell she didn't need anything, she was perfect on her own: strong, and invincible. I knew I was strong too which made it that much more amazing the difference that came over me when we were together. Separately we were each forces to be reckoned with. Together… well who knows what we are capable of?
Bella Pov:
I performed a front aerial (a cartwheel with no hands), landing in on the ground. Rolling out, I slid my body to the floor as the last strains of the song died out.
Hey you could help me out,
'cause it seems I've lost my way
Edward Pov:
I can't keep on watching forever
And I'm givin' up this view just to tell her
I stood up as she lay down. This was it. It was now or never! I moved closer to the rail and opened my mouth to call her name when…
( A. I COULD BE MEAN AND END IT HERE BUT I AM GOING TO CONTINUE).
Bella Pov:
I laid there for a second before sitting up. I wiped away the one tear I had shed. Standing up, I went to grab my stuff but something stopped me.
I sensed someone else was in the gym. I felt a surge of anger because I had thought I was alone. And despite the fact that I was just dancing, it had been an emotional moment, a private moment, my moment.
"Who's there?" I called out accusingly.
Someone stepped out of the shadows. "Bella."
I gasped. That voice. That face….
He hopped over the gate and descended the steps. I was frozen as he approached.
He drew closer and opened his arms as though to embrace me. I hated myself for the weakness that made me want to enfold myself there forever.
"Bella, I…" he began.
"Don't touch me!" I whispered.
He froze, but pleaded, "Bella, I… I am sorry."
This is what shocked me into action. "Sorry?" I scoffed. "What would you be sorry for? Nothing happened." I was proud and a little shocked at the steely sound in my voice.
He looked shocked, and a little hurt I noticed with a grim satisfaction.
"Bella, I mean I wasn't doing all that great, and Alice said you were having a hard time, so…"
I cut him off. "Hard time me? No. I wasn't having a hard time Edward; I was having an impossible time. First I had my heart broken; no it wasn't like it was broken. It was like there was a giant hole in my chest, as though when you left you took my heart with you. I was empty inside. I could barely drag myself out of bed every morning but I had to pretend for Charlie. And to top it all off, I was injured, which led me to make the stupidest decision of my life. No the second stupidest decision of my life, the first was believing that you could love me."
Edward Pov:
Wow in all of the scenarios that I had imagined this was definitely not one of them. Okay maybe it was, but I never imagined she could be so bitter. I mean not that I blame her, but there was such emptiness, such jadedness about her. I felt my heart break all over again as I witnessed what I had done to her. She wasn't the sweet, pure woman that she was before. No, now she was broken, and bitter, and resentful. It was like her spark had been extinguished and relit with something else.
I tried to interrupt when she claimed that believing that I could love her was stupid, but she held up her hand to stop me.
"No, you had your chance to talk all those months, now it is my turn. I quit gymnastics, as insane as that sounds. I gave up everything I had left, the one thing that you couldn't take away from me, and I gave it up freely. There was nothing there anymore. I wasn't Isabella Swan, international gymnast. I wasn't Isabella Swan, Edward Cullen's girlfriend. I wasn't Isabella Swan national role model. I was Isabella Swan, the nobody. If it wasn't for Ja… a friend, I don't know whether I would have made it."
This time I managed to say something. "You mean Jake," I stated, unable to hide the disgust in my voice. I know I had intended for her to move on, but now that it was a real possibility, I found myself incredibly jealous.
It was the wrong thing to say because something sparked behind her eyes.
"Yes, Jake. Jake who was there to pick me up when you left me broken. Jake who forced me to get out of bed and try to live my life. Jake who helped me get back into shape when I thought it was impossible. And Jake who gave me the way and will to train and compete again."
"Oh I suppose he was there to pick you up, and then made his move," I said bitterly. "I thought you knew he wasn't a good guy Bella. I thought that you figured that out last summer."
Bella Pov:
I felt a grim sort of satisfaction when he started over Jake, but it was quickly overshadowed by extreme anger. How dare he freak out? First of all nothing happened between Jake and me and second, why should he care? And another thing, Jake did nothing wrong last summer. It was all me. I had unintentionally used him and I was lucky he had forgiven me.
"You have no right to say anything about Jake. You gave up the right to have a say in my life when you walked out of it." I stated angrily.
"Bella, I'm…"
"Don't! Don't you dare say you are sorry Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! I finally managed to pick myself back up again, and you come waltzing back into my life and ruin what little I have salvaged of my life. Is this a game to you? Do you get kicks out of seeing how many times you can push me down until I can't get back up again?" My voice had dropped to a harsh whisper at this point. It felt as though the words were cutting me up from the inside.
I didn't stop though. I needed to get this all off my chest. I needed to tell him just exactly what he did to me. I didn't know if it would matter to him or not, but to me it made all the difference.
But before I could continue he cut me off. This time I couldn't stop him.
"Sorry," he shot out. "Look, I screwed up. I know that. But I really do love you. I never intended to hurt you."
"Whether you intended to or not, you did. But either way it doesn't matter anymore. It's over with. Let's just pretend nothing happened and get on with our lives."
As soon as I said the words, I knew that it would kill me, but I also knew that it was right. I didn't want him to feel obligated to stay with me. I knew his self-sacrificing personality would make him feel as though he should fix this and get back together despite his own wishes.
So I would let him go. I remember hearing a quote once that said "If you love something, set it free." I was setting him free.
I stalked past him and grabbed my iPod, knowing that I needed to get out of there before I lost my strength and selfishly begged him to stay.
When I went to grab my flip flops, he grabbed my arm to stop me. "Bella, I love you."
He pulled me to him and tried to kiss me, but I snapped. I pulled back my hand and slapped him… hard.
He raised his hand to his cheek in disbelief. I covered my mouth, just as shocked.
There was a commotion and I looked up to catch sight of a video camera lens whipping out of sight. Edward turned too, and I took my shot. I broke loose of his hold and grabbed my shoes, hitting the ground running.
I didn't stop until I made it all the way back to my room.
Kaity was nowhere to be seen. I collapsed into bed hiding under my covers as though I could hide from the world. I ran obsessively through the last few hours.
It wasn't until I was almost asleep until I realized I had lost one of my shoes, just like Cinderella. Only I had lost more than my shoe, I had lost my Prince Charming too.