WARNING: Flashback of rape.

Chapter 36 – Show Me That You Trust Me

She had been back at school for a week now and whilst the gossip and people staring at her had been a little unbearable at first, Sakura had been somewhat able to ignore them. It was easier for her to do so with Kakashi and Gaara by her side. Sometimes, her other friends stuck close to her, but honestly, she felt more comfortable with either Kakashi or Gaara. They had never given up on her.

"Sakura," Kakashi called out as he looked over at her, "do you trust me?"

Sakura looked up from her work that was currently splayed out across his table. It was that time of day for her session with Kakashi, where she was supposed to tell him how she was feeling and how her day was going and whatnot, but since neither of them spoke all that much, he just told her to get on with work. She was certain that it was a way to try and get her to feel more comfortable around him, to try and get her to feel like she could trust him. In a way, it was working.

"What's under the mask?" Sakura retorted as she placed down her pen without breaking eye contact. When he didn't reply, she then continued. "If you remove your mask and show me your face in every session, I'll talk to you and tell you what happened. It's a… compromise of sorts. By removing your mask, that tells me that you trust me, therefore, I will know that I can trust you."

Kakashi sighed as he marked his page before placing his book onto the desk. "You're pretty good at manipulating people, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Many times." Sakura smirked before grinning. "So is that a yes?"

There was another sigh. "Why do you want to see my face so badly?"

"You're Hatake Kakashi!" she said like it was obvious as she rolled her eyes. Then, she stood up and sat herself down on the sofa. "Nobody has ever seen your face – not that I'm aware of. In my head, I'll be the first person to ever see you without your mask!" When he went to argue, Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell me that other people have seen it! Would you really want to take this away from me?"

At her puppy dog tone and eyes, Kakashi groaned and rubbed his face, "Fine, but only on one condition."

"Anything," she grinned.

"You have to be one hundred percent honest." At her wide eyes, Kakashi continued. "I don't show people my face for a reason, Sakura. This is me giving you all of my trust and I expect all of yours in return."

She bit her lip. Was seeing Hatake Kakashi's face worth delving into the memories she had pushed to the dark corners of her mind? Would it be worth having to remember, to think, to share every little detail she could remember? Would she be able to handle it? They had been pushed away for a reason, because it was too painful to think about that night. But perhaps it would do her good to remember? Perhaps, by remembering, she could learn to get over it? Sure, it wouldn't be easy and it will always be there, but maybe she could learn how to deal, how to cope with what had happened to her.

Slowly, unsurely, Sakura nodded. "Okay."

"Are you sure?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Just show me your face!"

With yet another sigh, Kakashi reached up to his face and after a couple of seconds of silently debating it, he finally lowered his mask until it was resting around his neck. When there was nothing but silence, Kakashi looked up to see Sakura simply staring at him. The sight made him roll his eyes, but just as he went to put his mask back into place, her voice stopped his movements.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Sakura raised a brow as she folded her arms over her chest. "We had a deal, Hatake. Besides, I don't know what the big deal is. Sure, you're handsome, but I think some of the girls around here were exaggerating by saying the reason you hide your face is because you have the face of a sex God." Really, there wasn't anything too special about his face. Yes, he had smooth skin that could make any male model cry, but the scar over his left eye prevented him from looking girly. With the way his hair outlined his face, it gave him a rough edge, maybe even a little badass. There was another scar down near his chin, but it wasn't as obvious as the scar on his eye. His nose was straight and looked pretty normal, as did his lips, all in all, nothing too special.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head almost nervously. "Ah, thanks Sakura." Then, the sheepish grin vanished as he looked at her seriously. "Now it's your turn."

Sighing, Sakura started her story.

It was official.

Haruno Sakura hated the person, the monster, she had become.

And she wasn't the only one either. Naruto didn't have to say that he hated her because she could see it in his eyes. It wasn't that he hated her, he just hated the person she had become. Sasuke apparently didn't mind too much, but that was probably only because she fucked him… and not only a couple of times either. No, what she and Sasuke had… it was hard to explain. Sakura loved him, but she wasn't sure if he loved her. He had never told her that he does.

Biting her lower lip, Sakura looked over her shoulder. She had only been walking for five minutes and already she was regretting storming off like she had. High heels were definitely not a pair of shoes you want to be walking a couple of miles in. Not only that, but it was freezing too! It didn't surprise her though, since it was a week or so until Christmas.

"Damn it," Sakura rubbed her arms in a vain attempt to warm up, "I should have just stayed there with Sasuke."

It was going to take her ages to get home! It didn't make her feel any better as she seemed to unconsciously stare at the woods opposite her, either. They had always been intimidating and even the adults weren't all that comfortable walking by them or having their children play near them. They were just so… dark… and eerie. Apparently, at night, if you listened closely, you could hear a girl screaming as she was murdered. Sakura quickly shoved the thought out of her mind. Stupid Kiba with his stupid ghost stories and always trying to scare people! Folding her arms over her chest, Sakura picked up the pace as her eyes slid to and from the road before her and the woods across from her. It was too dark to see into them, though you never really could see much during the daytime either. What time was it when she left, around midnight?

What the hell even happened? One minute, the three of them were watching movies and then the next, Naruto was glaring at his phone a couple of moments before he threw it at Sasuke! Obviously, something had upset him and obviously, it had been about her and Sasuke. But what could he have seen? Had somebody sent him a message about them? Who else knew? Ino had been acting strange lately… but she would have said something if she knew. No, Ino would have attacked first and asked questions later!

If it hadn't been for Itachi getting involved when he did… Sakura couldn't even finish her thought. She actually thought the two were going to kill each other! Naruto had been literally trembling with his anger – Sakura thought that that only happened in the movies or in books! Sasuke had been… well, he hadn't been emotionless, but he hadn't been expressing much either. It was obvious he had been angry, but he also looked a little sad and hurt, too. Or was she simply seeing things?

With a groan of annoyance, Sakura gripped her head. Her mind was going too fast for her to even think!

A twig snapping brought Sakura out of her investigative thoughts as she twirled around quickly. Her hand slowly lowered from its place on her head and clenched into a fist as she frowned. "Naruto?" Sakura called out, her confusion and unease obvious. "Sasuke?"

There was no answer.

Frown deepening, Sakura turned back around and once again picked up the pace. When she had been facing Sasuke's house, she had seen that she was still pretty close, which meant she wasn't walking all that fast. With her eyes darting from side to side, keeping an eye on her surroundings, Sakura all but jogged forward, once again reprimanding herself for her choice of footwear. But then again, she hadn't expected to be walking in them, had she? No, Sasuke had given her a lift since he had already been at her place. It wasn't even like she could call for someone to pick her up either – she had left her phone back at Sasuke's! Besides, Sakura wasn't even sure anybody would pick her up, not with her being quite close to home. She also knew that her parents would be in bed and they wouldn't exactly approve of her waking them up. They would–

Suddenly, something clamped over her mouth the same second an arm wrapped around her waist, making Sakura's eyes widen with fear and shock as she thrashed against the hold, but she couldn't break it. Even as she kicked her legs forward and backwards, slammed her head backwards, clawed at the hand on her mouth, nothing worked.

The sight of the woods coming closer had Sakura in a fit of hysteria as she tried to scream, but the hand pressed even tighter against her mouth. Her entire body shook with fear and adrenaline when they finally reached the woods and she was dragged far enough into them that she couldn't see the road anymore. It was almost too dark to see anything. Then, the person holding her came to an abrupt stop before she was thrown roughly to the ground.

"Get up!"

With a quick, shaky nod, Sakura immediately pulled herself to her feet, tears falling from her eyes. "What do you want?"

As her eyes started to adjust to the dark, something shiny caught her eye and made her blood run cold. The figure before her was dressed in black and his face was hidden by a mask – or was it a balaclava? Sakura couldn't tell the difference. It was too dark.

"Please," Sakura begged as her body increased in shakes, "what do you want from me?"

"It's funny you should ask that." His voice wasn't deep and scary like she thought it would be. It was actually quite smooth, but nowhere near as smooth or as deep as Itachi's. It was slightly higher than Sasuke's, but deeper than Naruto's. It wasn't a voice she recognised, but she would definitely recognise it if she ever heard it again.

Sakura whimpered as he took a step towards her. "Please, if you let me go, I'll give you anything you want! I live just down the road and I can… I can give you money!"

There was a snort before the man answered. "I don't want your money."

"Then what do you want?" Sakura screamed hysterically, her voice shaking and cracking due to her emotions.

"I want you."

Once again, Sakura's blood ran cold as his words seemed to slap her in the face whilst also punch her in the stomach. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to do. But as he took yet another step forward, Sakura knew that she had to do something. She couldn't let this man attack her! Sasuke's house wasn't too far away; surely she could make it there at a sprint? As he stepped forward again, Sakura took a step back, her eyes still wide.

It seemed like everything moved in slow motion as he lunged forward at the same time as Sakura spun around and started to run. Her balance wavered slightly as one of her heels flew off, but she tried her best to ignore it as she continued moving forward. The man behind her was growling like a wild animal as she panted and cried out helplessly. In her opinion, it probably seemed like something you would see in a movie. Only this was real life and it was so much more terrifying.

As she was again grabbed from behind, Sakura put everything she had into her voice as she screamed as loudly as possible, "Sasuke!"

The man's arms tightened around her waist until it was difficult to even breathe. He was chuckling darkly and chancing a peek at his features, Sakura could only make out a set of dark eyes. "Your boyfriend won't save you now."

"Let me go!" Sakura begged as she swung her fists in every direction, trying to land at least one decent hit.

"Not a chance." he spat before spinning them around and launching her to the ground.

Sakura's forehead bounced off of the cold, dead grass as she landed and the air was completely ripped out of her. Whilst trying to get her breath back, coughing and wheezing as she breathed in dirt, Sakura's legs shook and her feet clawed at the ground as she tried to pull herself to her knees and stand, but at the same moment, she was spun around so that she was facing the sky.

A body lowered against her own, making Sakura cry out as her wrists were pinned above her with one hand. Fresh tears were falling from her eyes once more and mixing with the dirt on her face as she whimpered and once again tried to get the man to let her go. Sakura even went as far as to say she wouldn't call the police, but he didn't listen. He was too preoccupied with tugging her dress around her hips impatiently before pulling her underwear off. If she had been paying closer attention, she would have growled as he shoved her underwear into his pocket like it was a trophy of some sort. Instead, once again, Sakura screamed for help until she was sure that she was blue in the face, but no help came.

The sound of his zipper undoing seemed deafeningly loud to Sakura as her eyes widened even further – if that was possible. Her parted legs once again tried to land a kick on the man, but he pinned them to the ground with his knees before punching her in the stomach and ordering her to stop. She cried, begged him to stop and tried to tell him that he didn't want to do this. She tried to tell him that he didn't want to rape a young girl.

He laughed before plunging into her.

Another scream tore from her throat as the pain seemed to momentarily blind her and the man above her grunted with pleasure as Sakura cried out in agony. She would say that it was like losing her virginity all over again – pain wise – but that would be going too far. No, her first time hurt nowhere near as much as this! It wasn't that the man was too big for her either, it was the fact that she didn't want this and that her body wasn't ready.

"Stop it." Sakura whimpered hoarsely as she tried to break the hold on her wrists, but they only tightened. Her now freed legs slammed against the man's sides, but he only seemed to enjoy it. She could feel everything. The mud sticking to her skin, the dead leaves crushing and crunching beneath her body along with the winter flowers and mixing with the dirt, the cold, cold ground… him. "Stop it!"

He didn't listen to her. Instead, he lowered his body fully against hers and Sakura knew that if it wasn't for his balaclava, she would be able to feel his ragged breaths against her lips. Part of her was glad it was there, but she also pissed that it was there, too. She wanted to know who was fucking her against her will, who was raping her!

A punch to the face stunned her for a moment and when she was able to focus once again, Sakura was surprised to find the man further away from her face. His entire body was trembling and it didn't take a genius to know what was happening. Her thrashing increased tenfold as Sakura tried to get him off of her, to get him out of her. It seemed he at least had the courtesy to pull out of her, but all thoughts of consideration vanished as he lifted her dress even higher and started to pump himself. His breathing was almost whiny as he finally let go all over her stomach before leaning back and panting heavily.

Sakura was in too much pain to move from her place. She was just thankful that he had finally stopped. There was bile rising in her throat, but she tried to swallow it. However, every time she breathed in and her chest would expand, the movement of her stomach made his seed seem even more… there. Her breathing was uneven and wavering as she tried to calm herself and the tears that fell seemed never ending as Sakura stared up at the trees above her. They were so close together that she couldn't even see the sky. She felt trapped.

Her body was thrown across the small clearing and into a tree as the man kicked her in the side, but Sakura couldn't bring herself to let out anything more than a small, pathetic yelp. Even as his foot slammed into her repeatedly, even as he smashed his fists into her body and face, she couldn't bring herself to care. She just wanted it to be over.

"If you survive this, don't even think about going to the police." he warned her as he finally stopped hitting her, crouching so that they were face to face. "I know where you live and where all your loved ones live, Haruno Sakura."

By the time she had finished her story, Sakura was shaking almost violently as she placed her head into her hands. It was the first time she had ever gone into detail about what had happened to her that night and it definitely hadn't been easy remembering all of the disgusting details.

The feeling of an arm pulling her against a body should have frightened her, but Sakura knew that it was Kakashi. At first, he seemed slightly hesitant at holding her, either because he thought it may be inappropriate, or because he was remembering that she had literally attacked him for touching her previously. However, as Sakura turned and buried her face into his chest as sob after sob wracked her body, Kakashi's hold became more firm and comforting. His entire presence screamed safety, yelled protection and Sakura couldn't help but lean into his hold as he tightened it.

Her head was still in her hands as she pressed her face into his chest and her body was still shaking ten minutes after finishing her story. Also, Sakura's crying didn't lessen in the slightest. If anything, it became much more hysterical.

"Sakura," Kakashi spoke as calmly as possible, "try to calm down. It's okay."

It was too hard. How the hell was she supposed to calm down? Her stomach was twisting so badly that she thought she was going to throw up and it felt like the only thing holding her together were the arms wrapped around her. If he were to let her go, Sakura feared that she would fall apart completely. Finally, she let go of her head and gripped a tight hold of Kakashi's jacket as she tried to find something to keep her there, something else to keep her whole.

"Would you like me to call your mother?"

Sakura shook her head furiously, "N–No."

"Is there anyone at all you want me to call?"

She thought about it for a moment. Her parents were busy at work and even if they weren't, Sakura didn't want them to see her this way. Especially not when they had been talking about how well she had been doing. She also didn't want to bother Tsunade. Even though the woman was her therapist/psychiatrist, she was a proud woman and Sakura did not like crying in front of her or to have Tsunade see her looking so pathetic and weak. Who else was there? She could always ask for Itachi… he had told her that he would always be there for her, didn't he? He had told her that if she ever needed anything and if she ever needed someone to talk to, she could go to him. But what if he was too busy? What if he was in an important meeting? Sakura didn't want to disturb him.

"I w–want… I want Gaara." Sakura spoke before she could even stop herself.

Her reply seemed to shock Kakashi as he simply sat there, frozen in place. However after a couple of moments, Sakura felt him hum in what she presumed as his okay before he removed one arm from around her. As the arm holding her together disappeared, Sakura leaned closer into Kakashi, fearing that he would disappear if she didn't. She felt him pull something out of his pocket, but Sakura didn't need to look to know that it was his phone, because after a couple of seconds, he was through to reception and telling the receptionist to bring him Sabaku Gaara.

Sakura wasn't sure as to how long Kakashi was sat there holding her for. It was only when he gently pulled away that her sobs paused briefly until she saw a frowning Gaara sitting beside her. Not caring that he may not like it, Sakura pulled him against her in a tight hold. One of her hands was in his hair, whilst the other was around his shoulders as she buried her face in between his neck, her arm and his shoulder. Her breathing was coming in shuddering pants, but she managed to stop her previously uncontrollable sobs.

Once she was completely calm, Sakura opened her eyes and looked over Gaara's shoulder to see Kakashi had put his mask back on. She didn't exactly blame him for doing so. After all, their deal had been that he showed her his face, not Gaara. However, even though Sakura somewhat was calm, she still refused to let go of Gaara. Whilst Kakashi's hold had made Sakura feel a little better, Gaara's hold comforted her and made her feel safe and loved.

It seemed as though Kakashi got the idea that they wanted to be alone because he left the room with some excuse about using the little boys' room, even though they weren't really supposed to be left in a room together alone. It wasn't just her and Gaara; it was everyone in the school and had been ever since two students (she would never admit to anyone that it had been her and Sasuke) were caught together in one of the support rooms.

"What happened, Sakura?"

She smiled at the softened tone. When they had only just met, he had been so cold and harsh, but now, he was much kinder to her. Sakura loved that she was the only girl he was this way with. Her eyes drifted closed as she pulled him even closer, if that was possible. "Kakashi and I were talking about what happened… and I got upset."

"Saying you got upset would be an understatement." he told her as his arms tightened their hold around her. "I was told that I had to be in here urgently."

"I guess I kind of worried Kakashi." Sakura chuckled softly before her chuckles turned into a small frown. "I don't know what happened… I was fine at first, but then I just… I broke down. I couldn't calm down either and I thought I was having a panic attack or something."

As Gaara sighed, his warm breath washed over Sakura's ear, neck and shoulder, making her shiver before pulling back slightly and moving her head until their foreheads were pressed together. Her eyes were still closed and now that her makeup had run, Gaara could see how tired she truly looked.

"Haven't you been sleeping?"

She shook her head, causing his to also shake. "The nightmares have come back."

"What nightmares?"

Sakura opened her eyes and leaned back again, but only slightly so that she was still being held by him. Her eyes screamed her fear as she looked into his and Gaara felt his stomach twist until it felt like he was going to throw up. "I keep dreaming that he's going to come back for me. He knew my name… where I lived…"

"Why didn't you tell the police?" Gaara demanded, his eyes flashing angrily.

"I couldn't!" Sakura argued, fresh tears filling her eyes. "He told me that he didn't recommend me going to the police if I survived. H–He said that he knows where I live and called me by my name! He also knew about Sasuke. I couldn't risk my parents' lives as well as Sasuke's. I couldn't act selfishly. I had to protect them!"

Gaara's anger dissipated into annoyance as he sighed. "You wouldn't have been acting selfishly, Sakura. What if that man is out there raping other girls? What if he attacked someone much younger than you? A child?"

Her eyes squeezed shut as Sakura lowered her head. "Don't you think I know that? The thought goes through my mind every day. I was able to block out the thoughts for the first two or three weeks – mostly because I was always too drunk or high to actually know what was going on. Then… my parents found me… and since then, I've been calling myself stupid in so many different languages." Though, considering she didn't know many languages, she settled for calling herself stupid with many different words. "But it's too late to do anything now." she told him, her eyes shining with tears of defeat and pain. "Any evidence that they may have had against him has been washed away. I burned the dress. My shoes and underwear… I don't actually remember what happened to them… but I presume any DNA on those will have been washed away by rain and snow.

"I think," Sakura spoke slowly as she reopened her eyes, "I know that if I heard his voice though, I'd know him."

"Are you sure?"

Sakura nodded. "It's something that I'll never forget."

A/N - So I'm re-watching shippuden and I'm on like episode 329. Kurama is badass! I think he's my favourite tailed beast.

Is it weird that I cried writing that flashback? I was just sat there writing it and then I'm crying, feeling awful for putting Sakura through it! Can any of you guess who the guy is?

Stomach ache. I have really bad stomach ache and the concert I mentioned before is in eight days. I feel like screaming!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! :-)