Tiffany gave a frustrated sigh as she tossed her phone into her clutch purse. She had been trying to get hold of Taeyeon for the last hour and she wasn't answering any of Tiffany's calls or texts. Tiff grumbled to herself under her breath as she stood with her arms folded defensively outside the chic, and now empty, art gallery. She rolled her eyes and huffed as she finally decided to just get into her car and drive to Taeyeon's apartment to check on her.
This is how it was between them. Back and forth, up and down. Tiffany was always there to pick up the pieces that Taeyeon left shattered in her wake. Sometimes it was someone else's heart that Taeyeon had broken and sometimes, like this time, it was Taeyeon's own heart that was broken. Tiff shook her head and clicked her tongue as she drove to Taeyeon's place. The Seoul city lights zoomed past her in a blur as she contemplated what they had become to each other.
Taeyeon and Tiffany had met about ten years ago, back in high school. Taeyeon was that weird art student who was too broody and absorbed in her own drawings to even notice the world around her. Tiffany, on the other hand, was very friendly and was well-liked by her classmates. She would always try to befriend Taeyeon but could barely get a "hello" from the emo yet seemingly shy girl for many years.
Things changed in their senior year when one day, while staying late to finish a school project, Tiffany saw Taeyeon walk down the hallway and decided to follow the enigmatic girl. She followed Taeyeon right up to the abandoned greenhouse near the baseball pitch and was shocked to find the tiny room full of the most beautiful drawings she had ever seen. Taeyeon was beyond talented and Tiffany felt privileged to even be able to look at her artworks.
Tiffany saw a change in Taeyeon that day, a change that had bonded them for the last ten years. Taeyeon wasn't angry at Tiffany for following her to that greenhouse, she actually seemed relieved, relieved that someone had taken an interest in her and in her work. As Tiffany drove, she recalled that awkward first conversation between them….
"Hi! I'm Tiffany…I didn't mean to stalk you or anything…I…" Tiffany stuttered out sheepishly, realising how weird the whole scene must've looked to Taeyeon. "Hi…I already know who you are…" Taeyeon said softly before reaching over to a small table where she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Tiffany.
Tiffany gasped and put her hand over mouth as her eyes widened while she stared at the breathtakingly beautiful drawing of her that Taeyeon had drawn. "I'm Taeyeon…it's nice to meet you…it's nice to meet…someone…" Taeyeon said with a goofy chuckle. Tiff looked up at her and gave a cheerful eyesmile, realising she had made a new friend in Taeyeon.
Thinking of how they were…how they used to be…brought a lump to Tiffany's throat. The past ten years flashed through her mind and she recalled how she and Taeyeon had attended college together. Tiff had studied to be a classical pianist and she was now renowned in her profession, playing in the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra for the past six years. Taeyeon of course, studied art and went on to become one of Seoul's most successful and respected independent artists. They both believed in their work and took pride in what they produced, at least that's what Tiff thought, until the last year or two….
Tiffany pulled up to the driveway of Taeyeon's stylish apartment block. She took in a deep breath as she pulled the key out of the ignition and got out of the car, not knowing what to expect. She straightened out her black leather skirt and lace top and threw her beige-coloured faux-fur coat over her shoulders before taking the elevator up to Taeyeon's apartment.
Tiffany suddenly felt herself start to sweat as she thought about what she was getting herself into. Over the last two years, her relationship with Taeyeon had become warped into something that she couldn't define. She loved Taeyeon, yes, but they weren't lovers, they were friends, sometimes they were both, sometimes they were nothing and Tiffany felt like she was involved in a hurricane of emotional bliss and comfort but also psychological torment when she was around Taeyeon.
Tiff knocked on Taeyeon's door and dropped her head as she waited for the artist to answer her. She could hear music playing on the inside and she knew Taeyeon was probably doing the usual thing she did after an exhibition that didn't turn out to be as successful as Taeyeon had planned.
Tiff got tired of knocking and turned the doorknob, shocked to find it unlocked. Tiff opened the door and dropped her keys on their usual counter, her heels clicking against the tiles as she walked towards the living room. She sighed when she found Taeyeon slumped on the sofa, her head thrown back lazily with a rolled up ₩50 000 bill between her index finger and thumb.
"Taeyeon," Tiffany said sternly as she stood at the front of the living room with her hands inside her coat pockets. Taeyeon's head lolled and she groaned drowsily. Tiff switched off the loud music in frustration, just to be able to hear herself think. She looked around the apartment with a frown when she noticed the usual empty vodka and whiskey bottles rolling around the kitchen floor and the beer cans strewn all over the living room floor.
Tiff's eyes shot to the coffee table where Taeyeon had crossed her black boots as she slumped on the couch. Tiff frowned angrily when her gaze fell upon the five neatly separated lines of white powder on the coffee table together with a small bag of the powder lying next to the lines.
"Taeyeon!" Tiffany shouted, trying to get Taeyeon's attention. Taeyeon groaned again and gulped as her head flopped to the side, the rolled up note slipping from her fingers. Tiff walked over to the sofa and stood in front of Taeyeon, smacking her cheek gently so she would wake up. "Yah, get up, you left your door unlocked, anyone could've just walked in!" Tiffany stressed as she sat next to Taeyeon and tried to wake her up.
"Fany?" Taeyeon mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and yawned drowsily. Tiff was temporarily phased by Tae's cute drowsiness and baby-face before she heard Tae sniff. That sniff was a sign of what Taeyeon was…Taeyeon was an addict, something that both of them had been denying for the past two years. It started off as recreational, with Taeyeon claiming this was what everyone in the art industry did to keep their creative juices flowing.
It went from Taeyeon using occasionally at a party to once a month, then once a week, then every day. Her growing success as an artist helped her justify and fund her addiction, convincing herself, and Tiffany to an extent, that the drugs helped her produce her best work. She soon began using more than once a day and now she was at the point where she needed it just to get by. She was beginning to slip into a downward spiral and fast.
Proof of that downward spiral was tonight's exhibition. Tae had barely managed to sell ten of her most recent works at the event so she did what any hot-headed artist with a bruised ego should not do. She gave the middle finger to all of her potential investors and stormed out of her own exhibition. Tiffany was gobsmacked at Taeyeon's actions but she had seen Taeyeon snorting up in the bathroom before the opening ceremony. It was inevitable and Tiffany was tired of it, she was tired of seeing her friend slowly kill herself and she felt as if she needed to do something to pull Taeyeon out of this downward spiral.
"Taeyeon…" Tiff said as Tae slowly lowered her boot-clad feet off the coffee table. "Hmm?" Tae hummed as she dropped her head and put her hands over her face to try and make her body co-ordinate itself. "What are you even doing here? Did I drive you here?" Tae asked with a confused frown, her eyes drooping closed as she looked in Tiffany's direction. "N-no, I came to see if you were ok after the…after your show…" Tiffany trailed off when Taeyeon finally looked at her properly. "Urgh, that fucking show, fuck all of them right? I don't need their money anyways," Tae said with a snigger and sleepy smirk as she ran her fingers through her long dark hair and sighed.
Tiff gulped as Tae leaned forward, she was still wearing her black skinny jeans and charcoal grey tank from the evening and her dog-tag chain clinked as she reached out for a half-empty bottle of beer that was on the coffee table. Taeyeon took a swig of the drink and placed it on the table before taking the rolled up bill between her fingertips and leaning over the lines of cocaine on the coffee table.
Tiffany watched with a concerned frown as Tae sniffed up the line and sighed in relief before falling back onto the couch with a content smirk on her lips. She moaned softly and reached out for Tiffany's hand, lacing their fingers together. Tae dusted the remaining powder off her nose and licked her lips. She let out a deep sigh as the high coursed through her veins and went straight to her brain.
"I don't need them Fany…I only need you…you're my muse you know that…you've always been…" Tae mumbled drowsily, giving Tiff's hand a gentle squeeze. Tiff gulped and looked over at her best friend. She was slipping away before Tiffany's eyes, she wasn't herself anymore, she wasn't that starry-eyed kid with big dreams and a desire to maximise her talent. Now, Tiffany knew, she knew that Taeyeon was living to support her addiction.
Taeyeon looked over at Tiff and Tiff's heart sank as she looked into those once sparkly and enigmatic eyes. Now they were bloodshot, dilated and empty and Tiffany didn't know what to do. "Taeyeon, you need to get help…you can't keep doing this…" Tiff said softly, hoping to get through to her friend. Tae gave her a blank look, her glassy eyes unable to focus on anything. "Can't keep doing what?" Tae mumbled out as she looked up at Tiff from the where she was slumped on the sofa.
"You know what I'm talking about and it's gonna cost you your career…Please Tae…I'll help you…just…" Tiff tried to explain before Tae leaned in and gave her a succulent kiss. "Taeyeon…" Tiff breathed out as Tae kissed her gently again. Tae slid her hand up Tiff's waist and tilted her head, trying to deepen the kiss as Tiff tried to restrain herself from responding to Tae's lips.
It always seemed to happen this way…Tae would have a bad show or be depressed and get deliriously high. Tiff would come over and they would end up in each other's arms, blurring the lines between caring for each other as friends and lusting after some kind of release that Tae needed and Tiff needed to give her. It was fucked up and both of them knew it but Tae needed Tiffany to keep herself stable and Tiff needed Tae to need her just to feel normal.
They were not in a relationship but Tiff knew how to deal with things when Tae went on a bender. She knew that she was damaging their friendship and damaging her soul by giving in to Tae. It almost felt forbidden but irresistible and Tiff didn't have the heart or willpower to turn Tae away.
"I only need you Fany…" Tae breathed out as she pulled away and looked into Tiff's concerned eyes before leaning in again and slipping her tongue into Tiff's mouth and pulling her closer. Tiffany couldn't deny that she was getting caught up in the feel of Taeyeon's lips and skin but when Taeyeon groaned and spoke to her, she was snapped back into reason.
Taeyeon groaned and nuzzled her nose against Tiff's neck, leaving wet kisses on her skin. "Yah, do you remember that one night…just before Christmas…you did a couple lines with me and we made love the entire night until the sun came up?" Tae mumbled with a snigger against Tiff's neck as she bit into the skin just under Tiff's ear. "I wanna do that again…" Tae mumbled sexily before leaning up to kiss Tiff's lips.
Tiff frowned and closed her eyes, giving in to Taeyeon's touch and letting the combination of guilt and arousal drive her to carry on. Taeyeon gulped and ran her fingertips up Tiff's thigh and under her skirt before Tiffany moaned and suddenly held Taeyeon's wrist. "Taeyeon…stop…" Tiff mumbled, barely above a whisper. The strong smell of alcohol on Taeyeon's breath and her lazy kisses made Tiff realise that Taeyeon was not herself anymore and she found herself unable to continue.
"Taeyeon…" Tiff whispered again as Tae tried to get on top of her. "Taeyeon I said stop!" Tiff yelled out, shoving Taeyeon back onto the sofa. "What the fuck is wrong with you, I said stop!" Tiffany said as she yelled at Taeyeon. Tae rolled her eyes and backed away. "Wow, you need to loosen up…here…" Tae said, offering Tiffany the rolled up bank note to sniff a line of cocaine.
Tiffany looked at Tae's hand and frowned angrily. "What the fuck Taeyeon, are you just gonna ignore what I said before?" Tiff asked with her eyebrows raised. "What? You mean about getting help? I tried to help myself but you're not in the mood so…" Tae joked, lighting up a cigarette and crossing her legs on the coffee table.
Tiffany leaned back and gawked. "Oh, so you're just gonna keep using sex and drugs to run away from your problems?" Tiff asked in frustration, trying to get through to Taeyeon by provoking a response. "Yah fuck you, you have no right to judge me! I recall a few times when you sat here and did the same thing. Don't get all self-righteous now Tiffany, I know you just as well as you think you know me," Taeyeon fired back casually, puffing on her cigarette and sobering up because of her rising anger level.
"Oh so you're gonna throw that in my face huh? The few times I did this crap to feel closer to you? That's fine because I feel like I don't even know you anymore, you're like a shadow of who you were Taeyeon! When are you gonna admit to yourself that the reason you're failing as an artist right now is because of you and what you're doing to yourself! It's because you've allowed all of this shit to take over your life, to take over who you are!" Tiffany yelled, motioning to the cocaine just casually lying on the coffee table.
"Fuck you! I don't need you! You can't tell me what to do! And the only reason my art isn't selling is because they don't understand my work, they want the bullshit that's out there and I won't do it! I won't sell out!" Taeyeon yelled angrily, standing up defensively. Tiffany scoffed and shook her head, amused at the lies Taeyeon had told herself to protect her addiction.
"Yeah well you look pretty cashed out to me, Tae…" Tiff said sadly, tears beginning to well in her eyes as she watched her friend slip away from reason. "Whatever Tiffany, just go home and we'll talk when you're not so stuck up huh?" Tae scoffed before scratching her chin and waving Tiffany towards the door as she slumped back down onto the sofa.
Tiff's tears fell and she cried as she looked down, trying to keep it together. "Fuck you Taeyeon! Fuck you!" Tiffany cried out, tears streaming down her face. Taeyeon stood up and took a step towards her. "Tiffany…" Tae began before Tiffany silenced her. "No! I loved you! I still love you! But you've got me wrapped up in this fucked up situation where I can tell if we're friends or lovers or family and I…I hate you sometimes…I really do Tae…you make me sit here and watch you slowly kill yourself and your career when I know…I know that you're brilliant…you're amazing and you're letting all of it just go to waste because you're too much of a fucking coward to admit that you have a problem and go and get help!" Tiffany screamed out near the front door. Hot tears were streaming down her cheeks and she sobbed as she bared her heart to her best friend.
"Fany…I…" Tae stuttered out with a sad frown when she saw Tiffany break down over her actions towards herself. "I know you think that it's none of my business but we're best friends Tae, I'd give my life for you and I feel like I've saved yours too many times now…I'm done Taeyeon…I am seriously done with this bullshit. You want me to leave you alone to let you drug yourself to death, then fine that's exactly what's happening right now." Tiff said as she sniffed and pointed to herself.
"I'm not gonna give you any ultimatums because I am so tired of this Tae…I'm so tired of being treated like I'm crazy for wanting a better life for you…I'm done…you won't have to worry about me coming around anymore and interrupting you from what you really wanna do…so…goodbye Tae…" Tiff trailed off into a whisper as she started to cry again.
Taeyeon raised her eyebrows in concern when she realised that this could really be happening…Tiffany was actually leaving her…abandoning their friendship because she had pushed her too far. "Fany…wait…please…" Tae said with a gulp as Tiff turned to head out of the door. "Please…Tiffany don't leave…I…" Tae said as she gripped Tiff's wrist.
Tiffany turned to look at Tae with tearful eyes. "Let me go Taeyeon…please…" Tiff whispered through her tears, the sentence bearing more than one meaning which both of them perfectly understood. Tae gulped and let go, allowing Tiff to rush out of the apartment in tears as Tae stood there with wide eyes. She winced when the door slammed in her face and her tears flowing without her even realising she was crying.
It had been eight months since Tiffany had last been in contact with Taeyeon. She had worked through so much in those eight months, emotionally, physically and spiritually and she finally felt like she was in a healthy personal space again.
Tiffany would be lying to herself if she said that she didn't miss Taeyeon. It was the stupid things on TV or the annoying songs on the radio that would remind her of Taeyeon and her heart sank whenever she remembered how close they were. Tiffany hadn't cut all ties with Taeyeon as they still had mutual friends so she was well aware that Taeyeon had checked into rehab soon after their fiery confrontation.
Tiff had even tried to go on a few dates now that she had cleared her mind but she would always find herself comparing whomever it was to Taeyeon, whether it was the topics they discussed, the food they ate or the way they kissed, it was never the same as it was with Taeyeon.
There had to come a point when she could completely move on with her life without the memory of being Taeyeon's friend or lover or caregiver or whatever the fuck she was to her. Tiff was trying her best to move on and she was starting to believe that it was working when she finally began to feel at ease with being herself.
It was a stormy August night and Tiff was making some tea for herself at her small cottage she lived in with her dog, Prince. She had been working late for a few nights, preparing for an upcoming concert. She was extremely nervous but decided to spend a night in to relax and take her mind off things. The weather was perfect to relax as the rain pelted down in sheets outside her windows. She sighed contently as she placed her bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and snuggled in to watch some movies in her comfy grey sweatpants and a black tank. All was in order until she heard a knock at the door.
Tiff stopped chewing and looked towards the door with a roll of her eyes. She gulped and begrudgingly got off the couch when the person knocked again. It was about 6pm and quite dark already and she wasn't expecting any visitors. She felt slightly scared but opened the door nonetheless.
Tiff's eyes widened when she found Taeyeon at the door, standing there, dripping wet in the rain, her dark hair stuck to her face, her skin pale and her lips pink from the cold. She looked up at Tiff and gulped, as if she had also just realised where she was. The rain and storm raged behind them as Tiffany's eyes locked with Taeyeon's for a good few seconds.
"Hey…" Taeyeon eventually said before gulping to break the silence. "Um…hi…" Tiff said as she looked Taeyeon up and down. "Can I come in? It's…it's raining…" Tae said, sheepishly stating the obvious and having no idea what to say. Tiff was still perplexed and didn't say anything but she stepped aside to let Tae walk in.
She was brought back into the present when she heard Taeyeon chuckle as Prince leapt into her arms with a few happy whimpers. Tae laughed and ruffled his fur as she held him and kissed his head. She paused and let the white ball of fur jump to the ground when she heard Tiff sigh behind her.
"You look amazing…" Tae observed as they stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. "Thanks…why are you here?" Tiff asked matter-of-factly, trying to approach the situation with her new no-nonsense attitude.
Tae's eyes widened at Tiff's stern tone. "Wow…ok…I wanted to talk to you…to explain some things about what happened between us…" Tae said, rubbing the back of her neck from nerves. "You couldn't call first?' Tiff asked with her eyebrows raised and arms folded. "You wouldn't have agreed to see me…I know you've moved on Fany…I…" Tae said before running her fingers through her wet hair.
"You don't know anything about me Taeyeon, you can't just reappear and expect to be worth my time," Tiff said bluntly, making Tae's heart sink a little at the harshness before trying to slow things down. "Fany…I'm not asking you to forgive me…part of my recovery…it's…" Tae attempted before Tiff cut her off again. "Ohhh, I get it now! So this is about you again huh? Your recovery? What's new Taeyeon…you obviously haven't changed!" Tiffany fired back sarcastically before Taeyeon looked down and began to sob uncontrollably.
Tiffany frowned, shocked at seeing Taeyeon so easily vulnerable and broken. "I'm sorry….I'm sorry for the way I treated you…I…you were the only person who cared about me and I pushed you away…I'm sorry Fany…" Tae sobbed out as she stood in the middle of the hallway and cried in front of Tiffany.
Tiff bit into her bottom lip and watched Tae's shoulders shudder as she cried, noticing that Tae seemed relieved to be letting this all out. "I was an idiot and I didn't realise that I was killing myself…I've admitted it Fany, and I…I'm trying to make myself better for myself…and for you…" Tae confessed, looking up at Tiff with teary eyes.
"Why would you do this for me? Whatever we had doesn't exist anymore, you made sure of that and now I've made sure of it…I don't know what you expect from me Taeyeon…" Tiff said, her voice trembling slightly when she saw how sad Taeyeon was.
Taeyeon suddenly fell to the ground, breaking down into tears as she sat on the floor, her head in her hands. Tiff's eyes widened and without thinking, she instinctively rushed over to kneel down next to her and held her in a tight embrace.
Tae sniffed and buried her head into Tiff's neck as they hugged. "Shh…you're gonna be ok…" Tiff whispered to try and comfort her. Tae pulled away to look into Tiff's eyes. "I want us to be ok…I miss you so much Fany…it's torture not being able to reach out for you…" Tae mumbled sadly as she cried against Tiff's chest as they sat on the floor together while the rain rapped against the windows.
"Tae…what we had was beautiful…but what it became was toxic for both of us…" Tiff said with a gulp as she tried to ignore the fact that holding Taeyeon in her arms again was making her dizzy. "I know and it was my fault…I ruined us…I ruined what we could've had…" Tae sobbed out before wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
Tiff couldn't disagree with what Tae was saying. "I've been sober for 6 months but it feels like only one day because you're not around…I'm not trying to make you feel guilty…I'm just being honest…" Tae explained as she pulled away and sat next to Tiff. Tiff nodded and looked down. "Yeah…it's been hard on me too…we were best friends for ten years Tae, that doesn't just go away," Tiff said with a smile.
Tae lifted her head to look into Tiffany's beautiful eyes. "We were more than best friends…" Tae said softly before leaning in slightly. Tiff was about to lean in but snapped back suddenly. "You should take a shower before you go...you're gonna get sick otherwise…" Tiff blurted out, trying to change the subject and subtly tell Taeyeon she needed to leave. "Some of your clothes are still here so you can use those…" Tiff said to which Tae nodded as they stood up.
Tiff let out a deep sigh when Tae headed off to the bathroom, leaving her alone to contemplate this situation between them. She couldn't just forgive Tae after seeing her breakdown, they were both in a delicate state and their emotions were high, was that even a true reflection of how Tae felt or was it just a way to get Tiff to trust her again, Tae was an addict after all.
Tiff was pulled from her thoughts when she realised that it had been about twenty minutes and she had forgotten to check on Tae or lay out clothes for her. She shook her head and rushed to her bedroom to check if Tae was ok.
"Tae…I…" Tiff began before she gasped upon seeing Tae's bare back as she slipped a black singlet over her head and onto her body. "Oh…I…I'm sorry…I came to check on you…but…" Tiff stuttered out, getting temporarily flustered at seeing Tae like that after so many months. She tried to turn away as Tae slipped on some black sweatpants and socks.
Tae turned around and blushed before chuckling goofily. "It's ok…nothing you haven't seen before…and I know where all my clothes are, I chose the drawer remember?" Tae said with a cute wink, making Tiff smile. "Do you feel better now?" Tiff asked with a nod, hoping Tae wasn't going to break down again. Tae nodded with a quick smile and took in a deep breath. "Thank you…for…um…hearing me out…I…hey I almost forgot…I have something for you," Tae said before rummaging in the pocket of her damp jeans for her wallet.
Tae pulled out a small piece of paper with a drawing on it. Tiff frowned and took it into her hand before carefully examining it. "Wow…Tae…is this?" Tiff asked with wide eyes and a smile. Tae nodded and chuckled goofily, Tiff momentarily enjoying seeing Tae's genuine smile after so many years. It was a drawing Tae had done of a photograph of them in high school. She smiled as Tiff admired the small token.
"It's beautiful…thank you…I'm glad they let you draw in there…" Tiff said softly, realising that rehab must have been a very dark and difficult time for Tae. "Yeah…they let me draw and paint…I kept thinking of you…you're my muse Fany, you've always been…" Tae said as she reached out for Tiff's hand.
Tiff shivered at the touch and she suddenly thought about the last time that she and Tae had spent the night in this same bedroom. It was intense and amazing but of course, Tae was high and needed a release, which Tiff provided her with. It was always emotionally one-sided but now Tiff could see that Tae had changed. Tiffany was confused, her heart and her brain screaming at her for very different reasons.
"Tae…" Tiff said in a shaky whisper as she looked down at her hand in Tae's. "Will you give me another chance? Please…can we start over…I need you Tiffany…and I know that you need me too…" Tae said determinedly as they stood close together. Tiff felt dizzy as Tae's presence and freshly showered scent overwhelmed her senses, making their feud slip her mind.
Tiff gulped and once again, the blurred line between their friendship and sexual relationship came to the surface of what they were about to do. "Tae wait…" Tiff said before Tae leaned in for a kiss. Tae gulped and kissed Tiff's forehead instead.
"Wh-what are we?" Tiff asked randomly, realising the question sounded stupid but it came out that way because she was so confused about where they stood as friends or lovers. She loved Tae and she knew that Tae loved her but in what way or was there even a difference anymore? They had become indefinitely bonded and their friendship and sexual relationship was a blur to both of them.
Tae gulped, looked into Tiff's eyes and laced their fingers together before brushing her nose against Tiff's. "Fany we…we're meant to be…" Tae whispered before leaning in to kiss Tiff gently on the lips, barely applying any pressure to the kiss. Tiff felt her heart thud and her skin erupt in shivers when their lips met.
Tae tilted her head and deepened the kiss, pulling Tiff closer by her waist and making Tiff snake her arm around Tae's neck. Tiff sighed and slipped into the kiss, all of those old feelings came pouring back and she suddenly pushed gently against Tae's shoulder for her to back away. "Taeyeon…this isn't a good idea…" Tiffany breathed out, her eyes drooping closed as Tae nuzzled her nose against her neck, kissing her gently.
"You're right…it's a bad idea…" Tae mumbled as she pulled away and pressed her forehead against Tiff's. They were both breathing heavily and contemplating their next move. Tiff bit into her own bottom lip before she looked into Tae's eyes. Something was different. That spark and light in Tae's eyes was back and they weren't dead and emotionless anymore.
A thousand thoughts ran through Tiffany's mind as they stood there wrapped up in each other in the middle of her bedroom. It dawned on her that this was the first time Taeyeon had ever made an effort to overcome her addiction and perhaps this was a sign that she had changed. She loved Taeyeon and pushing her away might make things worse for both of them. Taeyeon was reaching out for her, but what she had to decide was whether or not she had the courage to let her back into her life…into her heart.
Tiff frowned as Taeyeon wrapped her arms around her waist, just holding her close. She brushed her thumb along Tae's jawline and leaned in for the softest kiss. Tae took a while to open her eyes before she sighed, almost in relief, and a small smile formed on her lips. "Fany…I…" Tae attempted before Tiff cut her off with a succulent kiss to let her know that she wanted this.
They kissed intensely and Tae brushed her fingertips up and under Tiff's shirt, sliding it up to slip it off before she crashed her lips back against Tiff's, pouring all of her emotion into their kiss. Tiff moaned softly into Tae's mouth and pulled Tae's shirt over her head, tossing it to the ground before returning to her lips.
"You're still so beautiful…" Tae mumbled as she let her fingertips trail across Tiff's skin, caressing her waist, breasts and the outline of her spine. Tiff tugged on the drawstring of Tae's sweats and let them slide down her thighs, making Tae groan when Tiff bit into her neck gently. Tae mirrored Tiff's actions and soon they were both lying on Tiff's bed in only their underwear with Tae on top of Tiff, kissing her senseless.
"…Tae…" Tiff groaned and tossed her head back as Tae began to grind her hips down into hers slowly. The friction felt amazing and they would both be lying if they said they didn't miss it for the 8 months they were apart. Tae moaned and licked and sucked on Tiff's neck, leaving a few pink bite marks on her skin.
Tiff spread her legs wider when Tae gripped into her waist, letting Tae's hips slot in between hers. The heated friction between their skin felt electric and neither of them wanted to stop. Tae kissed Tiff's collarbone and brushed her black hair aside before reaching down and tugging Tiff's underwear down. Tiffany groaned softly and wrapped her legs around Tae's hips after kicking her underwear off.
Tae leaned up to kiss Tiff's lips and moaned as she let her fingers slide between Tiff's legs, gently caressing her pussy up and down. Tiff hissed and bit into Tae's top lip as she felt Tae's fingers slip between her outer lips. "You feel amazing Fany…" Tae breathed as their eyes met in the dimly lit room.
Tiff looked into Tae's eyes and rocked her hips into Tae's hand, wanting some relief from the wet heat between her legs. Tae tugged down her own underwear and gave Tiff a slow kiss before rolling her hips and making their clits nudge gently. Tiff let out a strangled moan and let Tae lace their fingers together and pin her one hand above her head as she began to grind their pussies together slowly.
"Taeyeon…" Tiff moaned breathlessly as she closed her eyes and turned her head to the side, unable to process the pleasure. Tae grunted and placed a kiss behind her ear before whimpering against her neck when their clits rubbed together, sending a jolt of pleasure through them both, the wet feeling driving them both crazy. "Fany…" Tae breathed out before lowering their joined hands and gripping into Tiff's waist to thrust harder against her.
Tiff groaned and dug her fingertips into Tae's shoulder, feeling the tension build in her abdomen. Tae rolled her hips, making sure there pussies touched at the perfect angle and she cried out when Tiff thrusted back by rocking her hips to the same rhythm. Tae cursed and groaned into Tiff's neck at the slippery feeling. "Oh god…Tae…" Tiff breathed out hoarsely when she felt the nerves in her clit jolt as Tae rocked her hips.
Tiff's eyes were closed from the pleasure and she cupped Tae's neck as Tae kissed her jawline. "Fany…look at me…" Tae whispered near Tiff's ear as she slowed down her hips, their pussies sliding together at a slow and steady pace. Tiff's eyes fluttered open and she was in a pleasured daze as she tried to focus on Tae's enigmatic eyes.
Tiff got lost in Tae's piercing gaze as she realised how different this was to when they used to have sex. Tae was usually too high to put in any effort so she would bury her head into Tiff's neck and let out a few lazy grunts before she came and Tiff would turn away when as Tae fell asleep.
But this time, everything was different, Tae was looking into her eyes, everything about her was present and in the moment, from the way she was breathing, to her kisses, to the way her biceps flexed as she held onto Tiffany and thrusted against her.
Tiff was lost in Tae's eyes as they locked onto hers and she didn't know whether to concentrate on that or the liquid heat between their legs. Tiff held onto Tae's neck and kissed her as their bodies moved together before her breath hitched and she gasped into Tae's mouth. Tae slowed down her thrusts and circled Tiff's slippery clit with her own, making Tiff arch her back and shudder in Tae's arms as her orgasm crashed into her.
Tiff mumbled Tae's name over and over and held onto her shoulders before Tae mumbled a tired "Fany…" against her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, her hips rutting against Tiff's erratically as she came almost at the same time. Tae let out a broken moan and buried her head into Tiff's neck, brushing her lips against Tiff's skin as her orgasm buzzed through her system.
Their bodies soon stilled and they breathed heavily, holding onto each other after the most intense sex either of them had ever experienced. Tae nuzzled her nose against Tiff's neck as Tiff gave a drowsy groan, slipping her fingers through Tae's silky dark hair. Tae kissed her cheek and caressed her arm before leaning up to look into her eyes.
She placed a soft kiss on Tiff's plump and perfect lips before trailing her kisses down her jawline and neck. "I love you…" Tae mumbled into Tiff's ear. Tiff froze and held her breath upon hearing Tae's words. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at Tae through her half-open lids. "I…I love you too…" Tiff whispered with a smile.
Tae smiled and it turned into a goofy grin, making Tiff smile back and snigger as Tae kissed her gently. Tae rolled over to lie next to Tiff and slid her arm across that perfect waist as they got under the covers of Tiff's bed. Tiff sighed and looked into Tae's eyes. They were both drowsy and could barely keep their eyes open.
"Fany can I…can I hold you?" Tae mumbled cutely as she lifted her arm for Tiff to snuggle in. Tiff's face broke into a smile before she laughed and leaned in, kissing Tae's lips and wrapping Tae's arm around her waist. "Yah, I see they let you work out too?" Tiff asked with a sexy bite of her lip as she prodded Tae's firm bicep with her finger. Tae chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah…I couldn't have sex so…" Tae trailed off before Tiff playfully smacked her shoulder before placing a kiss on Tae's neck as they both drifted off to sleep.
Tiff woke with a smile the next morning as she felt Tae's arm around her waist as she slept. She could feel Tae's heart beating against her back and she realised that she felt absolutely no regrets about the night before. Tae was right…they were meant to be and fate had brought them back together in this way.
She wriggled and turned around in Tae's arms to face her, leaning in to place a soft kiss on Tae's lips. Tae frowned and drowsily opened her eyes, turning her head to let out a long yawn. "Hey…" Tae croaked out with a sleepy smile, her eyes drooping closed as she tried to wake her brain up. "Hi…" Tiff whispered with a smile.
"It's nice to wake up next to you and remember what we did the night before," Tae laughed out, realising that her sobriety had made her appreciate these small things. Tiff laughed and bit into her lip as she thought about what she wanted to ask Tae.
"Tae…are we really doing this…like officially?" Tiff asked cautiously, honestly she was afraid to hear Tae's answer. Tae looked into her eyes and sighed. "Fany, we should be together. I don't want to be with anyone else, good things only seem to happen when you're around. I think it's the universe's fucked up way of telling us we need to give this a shot," Tae explained with a laugh.
"I've worked hard to change and I wanna prove that to you…I wanna do my best to make you happy," Tae continued as she looked into Tiff's eyes. Tiff nodded and leaned in, pressing her lips to Tae's in a gentle kiss. "Fany…say something…please," Tae asked sheepishly against Tiff's lips. Tiff laughed and licked her lips as their eyes met again. "That light behind your eyes…it's back…I see it Tae…you're you again…the Taeyeon I met all those years ago," Tiff said softly as she stroked Tae's blushing cheek. It was a risk but she was ready to give herself to Tae fully and give their love a chance to grow in a healthy way. "Let's do it," Tiff mumbled with a smile before tackling Tae into a playful kiss as Tae yelped and rolled over.