Chapter 34
Duo was feeling anxious about the upcoming test with Zero. He was so wound up he could barely eat, which had evidently caught Heero's attention.
"You need to eat more calories than that," the Japanese agent said from behind his laptop. He had been working diligently on something all through lunch and hadn't eaten himself, but had insisted that Duo try to. The acid in Duo's stomach sloshed around in protest. He groaned and picked at the greasy pizza in front of him. He had managed half a slice, but the smell of the leftovers were now making him nauseous.
"I can't man…" he forced himself to take a sip of water. He just wanted to gag. "I'm gonna puke."
Heero looked up from whatever he had been engrossed with and was studying him closely. "If you're sick we will postpone the test until next week."
"No! No, it isn't that. No need to move it." Duo steeled himself against his anxiety and forced a big smile. "Just not feeling too confident, ya know?"
"You need to eat. You aren't getting enough nutrition. You've lost too much weight and you will also need dense caloric intake for your brain to function against the Wing-One system." Heero was lecturing him. Duo stared down at his pizza and scowled.
"Starving kids in China, right?" He muttered before dutifully forcing the rest of the pizza into his mouth. He would normally be all about greasy gut-sticking food but today just wasn't the day. He chased it all down with the remainder of this water and swallowed hard. "Okay, now what?"
Heero was typing. He didn't look up. "Dr. J suggested that we prime you before you bond with the system." Heero reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of wireless earbuds. He set them on the table in front of Duo.
"Prime?" Duo obediently picked up the earbuds, turned them over in his palm once and then inserted them into his ears. Heero nodded from across the table.
"We can't talk about the details here." Heero gestured to the public cantina they were sitting in. It was located just outside of the Preventer sector of the Lunar Base. "But basically calm your brain down. Studies suggest that songs between 70 and 120 beats per minute are optimal for the brain to focus."**
"So what, you want me to relax or something?"
"Yes, and memorize them. That way you can use them again to help you focus during the test." Heero wasn't willing to divulge any more details. Duo smirked and leaned his elbows on the table. He rested his chin on the top of his interlocked fingers.
"So did you go through my music and find some stuff?" Duo asked casually. His partner shook his head.
"No, I researched songs with the appropriate bpm but that also have steady melodies and that avoid any sharp discord. Your music is too chaotic and the beats were too fast." Heero was clicking around on the laptop.
"Wait, so you … you made me a mixtape?" Duo's face erupted into an amused and delighted smile. "Damn, Heero. Doing this boyfriend thing right!" He couldn't help but tease him. Heero was glaring at him from across the table before responding by drowning Duo's ears with the tinny sound of a pair of electric guitars strumming out an airy tune at 72 bpm. A pleasant male voice began singing along with it:
I used to like to walk the straight and narrow line
I used to think that everything was fine
Sometimes I'd like to sit and gaze for days through sleepless dreams
All alone and trapped in time
All alone and trapped in time
I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me
Or am I even in it's mind at all
Perhaps I'll get a chance to look ahead and see
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball.*
Duo stared at Heero, who was watching him intently from across the table.
The song was heavy, and slow and incredibly sad. It wove itself into his thoughts and began making him wonder if Heero had chosen this song for its meaning or purely based on the rate of beats per minute. It was making his chest ache. He couldn't help but feel like it was a subliminal plea for help from his friend.
Crystal ball? Does he mean ZERO? Duo could see the ZERO system in the cockpit in his mind's eye. He imagined Heero with his hands on either side of the sphere, holding it and staring down into its glowing face seeking the answers for this situation they were in.
Duo knew he was letting his mind get carried away. He closed his eyes to block Heero out of his thoughts. He tried to focus on the sound of the instruments behind the man's voice. It was beautiful. The song ended and another with a similar pacing took its place. He began memorizing every detail of each track from the hitching breaths of the vocalists to the subtle variations of drums throbbing through the harmonies.
Duo could hear the music rolling through his brain the whole walk back to the Preventer sector and hangar.*** He tried to focus solely on the new songs and tried not think about anything else.
Part One
"So, are you ready?" Dr. J was grinning at him from the catwalk beside the cockpit. Duo looked up at him with a shrug and gripped the black Wing-One immersion helmet tightly between his black gloved hands. He could feel the familiar pulsating energy coming from the back of his suit. It was holding him tightly against the pilot seat. Dr. Jay had replaced the old five-point harness seat from Wing's old cockpit and had installed the new Wing-One upgraded model that Duo had used before in the Taurus suit. Gundam Snow White was humming all around him in frequencies both old and new. The high-pitched and faint whirring of the fusion reactor sounded from just behind him and was accompanied by a low, bass-like grumble he had never experienced in a suit before. It reminded him of how his Mustang would idle at a traffic light.
"I guess it's now or never," Duo replied. He looked down at the helmet and closed his eyes for a second. He sucked in a deep breath and let his determination solidify. Despite this he was still afraid. He wasn't afraid of ZERO hurting him. He wasn't even afraid of the risk that the system could possibly send him into hysterics again. He was afraid of the outcome of the test. He was worried that it wouldn't work, and that it would be a failure and Preventer wouldn't accept the result. He was worried Heero would be-
Trapped in time, he recalled the lyric from the song Heero had primed him with. The song had initially saddened him but now a fire had been lit in the spot in his chest where the pain from the song had once been. He wasn't going to let this thing get the best of him. He wasn't going to let Heero down.
Dr. J had waddled off down the catwalk and Heero had materialized from behind him. He stepped closer to the cockpit and was looking in at him with an unreadable expression.
I wonder if he's worried that I can't do this, Duo considered. This time he would be bonded to Heero's memories and skills VIA ZERO through Wing-One rather than his actual partner. He had no idea what to expect.
"You just need to put the Wing-One helmet on, and I will activate ZERO for you," Heero explained with his usual flat affect. Duo frowned. He was definitely in "mission mode". He could tell by his tone and posture he was going to be strictly business from here on out.
"Gotcha," Duo replied as brightly as he could. He saw Heero nod his head before turning to stride away from the cockpit and towards the steps leading to the hangar floor. Duo sucked in one last breath through his nose, held it and shoved the helmet over his head.
Darkness and silence. He exhaled. He was left with nothing but his thoughts and the faint replay of the image of Heero's ass walking across the catwalk away from him.
Man, when this is all over, he is gonna owe me big time. When I get outta here… He couldn't help but start thinking of all of the horrible and satisfying things he was going to force the former Wing pilot to do to pay him back. Maybe I'll have him suck me off right here in the cockp-
Pilot Duo Maxwell, verified. Wing-One's familiar smooth female voice derailed his train of thought.
The screen in front of him burst to life and temporarily blinded him with a flash of bright, stinging white light.
"Duo… " He could hear Heero's voice. It sounded muffled and distant. "Keep the smut to a minimum, will you? Preventer will be seeing this data…"
Duo blinked as he realized the voice was coming from a speaker in the Gundam's cockpit. He laughed. He had forgotten that all of his thoughts in Wing-One could be observed in simulation mode. Heero had explained that to him when they were training for bonding in the Taurus suits. The simulation Wing-One system had an observation mode where an instructor or trainer could sit at the console and watch as a third party. Apparently Heero was watching him now, and could hear his thoughts. He grinned from within the helmet.
"Shit, my bad. Still gonna need my reparations though."
The bright light began to fade away to reveal a simulated space environment. There was an asteroid field in the distance and a blue dwarf sun illuminating Duo's vision. His ears activated with "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle. Now that Heero had started the music ZERO would soon activate. Duo stared at the image of the blue dwarf glimmering at the corner of the display. He began tapping his fingers against the thrust controls as the pellucid notes of an acoustic guitar and the low, harmonized voices of the two male vocalists began to fill his mind. He had only heard this song in the cantina once, but he already knew every word and sway of tempo by heart.
Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
Wing-One pilot calibration complete. Activating Gundam Snow White ZERO AURORA.
The field of space that was being displayed through the Wing-One immersion shifted and began to glow with a dazzling golden light. Duo squinted against the light and heard the familiar whining flare of ZERO system beginning to scan and assess all of the simulated surroundings. He winced as it started trying to probe him. It felt like a phantom finger had tried to poke the front of his brain through his skull. He reflexively grit his teeth and tried to steady himself against its assault.
Attempting Pilot - ZERO AURORA bond, Wing one stated.
Duo felt his mind beginning to rush in multiple directions. What if this doesn't work? What if it makes me crazy? What if I let Heero down? What if this kills me? What if I can't do this?
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
He forced himself to think about what he wanted. Isn't that was ZERO^* did? It tried to realize what the pilot desired and produced every possible outcome and result to facilitate that desire.
What do I want?
I want this to work. I want to be the best pilot. I want to ace this mission.
He could feel the pressure against his skull decreasing incrementally. He began to relax as it did. Am I paired now?
Pairing complete. Pilot and ZERO have paired. Beginning AURORA bond.
Duo felt the familiar pull of Wing-One as it forced the collected data of Heero's mind towards him. He felt a strange presence was watching him. It felt like that creepy feeling people got when they were in a room full of dolls. It was like having a hundred sets of dead eyes on you, and then seeing one of the dolls turn its head.
He felt his skin crawl. Suddenly a thought formed in his mind, but it wasn't his own.
"Duo Maxwell, pilot 02. Acknowledge."
Duo felt his breath catch in his throat. It sounded remarkably like Heero, except with even less inflection. Duo didn't think that was even possible.
Pilot 02, acknowledging. Are you Aurora?
"Affirmative."
What is your callsign?
"Aurora."
Yeah, okay. Even robot Heero isn't very creative. Duo could hear the music in the background changing to "Imagine" by John Lennon. He let the song wash over him. He started to feel peculiar. He had stopped tapping his fingers to the beat and felt as if he were now hovering over his own body. He began to feel strangely detached, as if something were tugging him by his consciousness out of his skin. He felt very light, despite the fact that the Wing-One had been crushing him into the pilot seat only moments before.
His vision was abruptly flooded by data outlining their mission. They were to follow the designated path through the asteroid field and destroy an enemy cruiser and any mobile suits that blocked their path.
Easy enough, Duo thought as he reached out blindly for the controls in the main cockpit and began guiding the simulation Snow White Gundam towards the target coordinates.
The presence of Heero's ZERO A.I. was all around him. He felt little pinpricks of energy tingling and lifting the fine hairs on his arms, legs and the back of his neck. He felt he was blindfolded in a chair with someone seated just in front of him, staring at him. However, unlike the real Heero, there was no emotion shared between them. He couldn't feel his partner's trademark calm. There were no wandering considerations or thoughts.
Duo frowned. Hey, Aurora. Who is Relena Peacecraft?
He sat back and waited for some sort of emotional response. At the name "Peacecraft" he knew the real Heero would have had a flurry of emotions. Respect, love, confusion, anxiety. Something. There was nothing but a cold, brassy emptiness hanging in the corners of Duo's thoughts.
"Relena Peacecraft is the last surviving female heir to the Cinq Kingdom. "
Huh, okay. Then who am I?
"Duo Maxwell, former pilot of MS Gundam Deathscythe."
Duo sighed. Oh well, guess you are just a robot. I was hoping you'd say something more amusing. He could see on their map that the cruiser was only just beyond a cluster of asteroids ahead.
Hey, Aurora. You like me, right? Are we friends?
"Duo Maxwell is my first friend. My only friend."
Duo couldn't help but laugh. That's right buddy. I'll always be here for ya. C'mon let's go fuck up that cruiser.
"Affirmative."
* "Crystal Ball" by Styx (1976) - Progressive Hard Rock: 72 bpm
** Actually 60 BPM is considered optimal for focus and brain function, but the pickings were slim in that department.
*** "Imagine" by John Lennon: 76 bpm, "Live and Let Die" by Guns N' Roses: 78 bpm, "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle: 108 bpm, "Creep" by Radiohead: 92 bpm
^* ZERO stands for "Zoning and Emotional Range Omitted" system.
/AN: I am glad to be feeding those obsessions! Sorry for the wait on this chapter, the technical ones tend to slow my momentum some. Somehow this ended up more like a songfic than I am comfortable with. Oops./