A/N THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN, FOR TAKING TIME OUT TO READ THIS, AND OF COURSE, FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS,

YOUR LOYALTY MAKES THIS SO WORTH WHILE.;))))

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Elliot gestures to the nearby sofa, I reluctantly sit down, as Elliot sits down next to me, an ominous silence enfolds us. I can't help but just stare at him as my mind races, it's plain to see that he is reluctant to talk, which can't be a good thing as that isn't Elliot, nothing fazes him. My heart sinks, as I truly dread to think what he could possibly have to say.

He couldn't possibly know about Elena and I, he wouldn't have been able to keep something like that to himself for all these years surely, but there is definitely something troubling him, his worried eyes prove that fact.

Elliot's eyes suddenly meet mine, his demeanor changes, he sit's up a little taller, obviously preparing himself for what ever, he has to tell me and I feel my apprehension rise.

"Christian... I need to talk to you... About what happened at the benefit" his eyes hold mine as he seeks permission, I nod slowly as Elliot's quiet voice fills the cabin,

"I saw what happened with Ana and Elena the other night, I knew instantly that Ana didn't like her and I couldn't understand why... They had only just met... But after talking to Kate... I now have a fare idea" his voices lowers, Oh Fuck No... It's as bad as it can get, I sigh heavily, resigned to the fact that once again, my Fucked up past needs facing and explaining,

"Kate only got a rough idea of what went on between them, because she only heard the end of the conversation but... Well... After reading between the lines, I think I know... So I need to ask you something... But before I do... I have a confession to make" he looks at me, his eyes regretful,

"What is it?" I whisper, My voice barely reaching my own ears, Elliot takes a deep breath before speaking, from experience I know this is a very bad sign,

"Remember that time when we were kids, and Dad made you rake up all the leaves in the back yard for punishment, I can't remember why now, as you were always in trouble, but anyway, every time you turned around, the leaves were strewn all over the place again" I nod, as I vaguely recall the time he is talking about, but I can't help my confusion as to why he needs a trip down memory lane,

"Why are you mentioning this now Elliot? What could this possibly have to do with Ana and..." Elliot's voice interrupts me,

"Just listen Christian please" Elliot urgently asks, this is obviously hard for him to talk about, I nod slowly, reluctantly holding my tongue,

"Me and a few of the guys came home after soccer practice and saw you working your arse off in the yard, and well, we thought it would be funny to make you sweat, so every time you turned a corner, we would all run out and scatter the leaves again, well I don't know if you remember, but Elena came to visit Mom that day and as she drove up the drive, she saw us hiding, saw us laughing, I remember she pulled up outside the house and spoke to you"

"I remember" I mutter in confirmation, and I do, but I don't remember Elena mentioning Elliot, I remember she asked why I was being punished again and lectured me on how I should have more consideration for my parents, and try to stay out of trouble. It was years later that our relationship started, where I would hear the same lecture many times and face the consequences of not listening to her, but before that, at such young age, I didn't give a toss. I was always in trouble, even I can't remember now, what I had done to upset Dad that day, Elliot's hushed voice, brings me back,

"Later on, when I tried to sneak in the house, Elena caught me, she grabbed me by my shirt collar and frog marched me down to the boat house, reprimanding me the whole time, on how I shouldn't antagonize you and how I should show more respect to my parents, well long story short, once we were in the boathouse, she threw me over her knee, pulled down my shorts and tanned my backside" his voice trails off, my eyes widen and a feeling of revulsion sweeps over me, oh no...

"No... Why..." I try to speak but Elliot ignores my whispered voice,

"I remember feeling so embarrassed and shocked... I just froze until she had finished, I remember she even made me count, she..."

"How many times" I whisper, the anxiety evident in my voice,

"Does it matter?" Elliot chuckles, but his cheeks are flushed with his embarrassment,

"Yes... It does" I mumble, dreading that Elliot will confirm my worst fears.

Elena had a system, Eight spanks was enough to cause pain, but not enough for her harsh hand prints to last more than a few hours, but most importantly, anything less than eight strikes and Elena wasn't sexually satisfied, I close my eyes tightly as I wait for Elliot to answer,

"I had to count to eight" he states quietly, my head falls into my open hands, as my knees support my elbows and I feel physically sick. She got off on it, I can't believe she would do that to him, me I can understand, I deserved it but... Elliot...

I remember asking her once, if there had been others before me... She made me think I was the only one she had ever... She told me she was drawn to me, that we both shared the same dark soul... That we needed each other... She... I remember she beat me harshly for asking.

I'm going to destroy her... I'm going to... I breath deeply drawing on all my strength not to just smash up everything around me,

"I remember I was frightened at the time... She was so cold, so angry, I have never seen her like that before or since, but as young as I was... I... I knew she got off on it... I could tell... She..." I see Elliot shakes his head and smirk, "She said I'd get worse from Dad if I told, and that Mom would be hurt to find out I had been tormenting you, and I knew she was right... So I kept quiet" his voice is laced with shame, but I can't comfort him, I don't trust myself to speak, or move,

"I avoided her for a while, then as I grew I let it go, as I was big enough for her never to be able to do it to me again... But... I was glad when she took you under her wing, she kept you busy, out of trouble, Mom was so relieved... I never thought for a single second that she would be able to hit you... You were so adamant about not being touched, you were so strong so... But after what Kate heard Ana say, I just knew... Christian, if I had of known I would have..." he turns to face me and I look up at him, "So I have to ask you Christian... Did Elena hurt you too?" his eyes question sympathetically, and I know I can't lie, after what he has just shared with me, after all these years, how could I not be truthful too, I feel my anger fall away as she shame takes over,

"Yes, she did" My remorseful voice whispers,

"Often?" his worried voice asks,

"Yes... Every time I got into trouble" I confess,

"How long did it go on for?" he asks,

"Six years" I whisper, as Elliots eyes nearly pop out of his head,

"Fuck Christian... How... Did it turn into a relationship?" I huff to myself, relationship... If you can call it that, I simply nod "Did you have sex with her? I know she got turned on when..." Elliot asks,

"Yes" my voice drips shame as my eyes lower, how can I look him in the eye? He must think I'm pathetic, but to my surprise Elliot chuckles,

"And there was me trying to fix you up with everybody I could, and all along you were getting it more than me, Christ, up until Ana I thought you were gay" he laughs softly, I know he is trying to lighten things but behind his eyes I see the hurt and worry,

"How old were you when she first initiated sex?" his curious voice asks, the one and only question I don't want to answer, just like with Ana, the minute he knows, everything will change, the humor will vanish and revulsion will take over,

"Fifteen" I regretfully mumble,

"Shit Christian... We need to talk to Mom" Elliot states in a shocked voice,

"No" I almost yell, shaking my head vigorously "She can never know... She would..."

"Christian we have to tell her, do you know how many of Mom's friends have kids, Elena visits Mom at the hospital all the time, the kids... She needs to be stopped or at the very least, Mom has to stay away from her"

"I can't Elliot... Mom will hate me... I will repulse her... She will..." my desperate voice pleads,

"Christian, none of this is your fault, Mom won't hate you for a second... God, I can't believe you went through all of this, why did you not tell anyone?" he asks compassionately,

"I believed I deserved all the pain, all the beatings... I was so angry, and I knew I was no good... I thought it helped me" I try and justify, but his eyes sadden, as he shakes his head "You know it helped me Elliot, I stayed focused, worked hard, succeeded... But now, after talking to Ana, I realize the price I have paid for that, how it has cost me my family, how closed off I have become, Elena turned me into someone I know now, that I never wanted to be, Ana has shown me how wrong it was... I never thought it was wrong, inappropriate maybe with her being Mom's friend, but never abuse like I now know, I was young, horney, needed the outlet and she never touched me any more that she had to... So... I'm sorry Elliot"

"Fuck Christian, what are you apologizing for, it wasn't your fault, you were only fifteen for fuck's sake, full of hormones led by your dick, like any boy that age, but she knew better" his voice is laced with hate, "We will both talk to Mom, it will be okay"

"Ell..." I can feel the horror on my face, I don't know if I can,

"Christian, we have to" his voice is forceful, I nod knowing he has spoken the truth, but what will my Mother think of me? Will she turn from me like I always feared? "Mom wants to meet for dinner one evening this week, we will talk to her then, okay?" I nod as my body sags, Elliot throws his arm over my shoulders, "It will be fine Chrisitan, Mom will understand, trust me" he stands abruptly, eased I think with clearing his head, and talking through all of this, where as my head is now all over the place,

"Come on, the girls will be wondering where we are" he smiles, I had almost forgotten where we are this has been so stressful, but the thought of seeing Ana makes me relax and smile,

"I'm sorry for the Vegas dig" he offers up and I chuckle as my earlier embarrassment creeps back,

"Don't say anything to her, please" I feel my cheeks burn, as Elliot laughs,

"I won't, but honestly Chrisitan, you don't have to worry about Ana, she loves you, I don't know why you're so worried or even have cause to doubt her" he shakes his head bewildered, I sigh heavily,

"When we were safe in the hotel I knew for sure, she was mine, that she wanted to be with me... But now anyone could take her from me... I'm scared she will see how fucked up and stressful my life can be, how boring I really am" I confess my hidden fears, Elliot chuckles,

"Oh Christian, things will work out, and if she hadn't left you after hearing all of this shit, then she isn't going to, but don't rush her, that will scare her away" he teases,

"Okay, no more talk of Vegas" I chuckle, finally feeling calm enough to stand,

"I love you bro" Elliot's low voice comforts, as he pulls me into a hug, my arms wrap around him tightly,

"I love you to lelliot".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As the guys reappear back on deck, Ana and I stop our chit-chat, scanning the pair of them, I notice they both seem to be in one piece, so thankfully, it never turned violent while they were out of sight. I smile as Elliot sits next to me, he takes my hand and squeezes gently. I can't believe Elliot tried to push Christian's buttons, but thankfully Ana is still none the wiser, Christian definitely knew what Elliot was getting at though, I can't wait to talk to Elliot, to find out what Christian said, I hope he didn't shout too much. I hide my chuckle.

As Christian sits down opposite me next to Ana, he cups her face in both his palms and leans in and kisses her long and hard, after their kiss, he rests his brow on hers and whispers "I love you" and I can't help my grin, God anyone would think he hadn't seen her for a month. Ana's brow furrows as she looks up at him, and a million silent words pass between them, what on earth has gone on? But whatever it is, Ana's proximity calms him.

As Christian sits upright, he takes the wine from the cooler and refills our glasses, I can't help notice he has a little stress lingering around his eyes, but on the whole he seems pretty calm. He can't hold too much ill will towards Elliot for his teasing, but somehow I think that's the least of his worries.

"So what are you two going to do about all the unwanted press attention?" I ask to start up a conversation, "You do both realize, that you have been on the TV more than the Kardashian's over the last twenty four hours" Christian grins as Ana cringes, I knew she would freak with all the attention,

"From this evening Ana will have her own security" Christian states matter of fact,

"What?" Ana gasps, spluttering her wine,

"I told you baby, things would have to change" Christian consoles, but I see the horror on Ana's shocked face, there is no way she is going to be happy being followed about,

"All the publicity will be good for work" I teases trying to lighten things,

"I never thought of that" Ana beams, as Christian gasps,

"No Ana, you couldn't possible use the media circus to promote work, you will have every one from here to Washington, hireing you just to pumping you for information about us, or worse you could walk right into a kidnap situation, but if you want to keep busy, you can paint everyone of my offices like Elliot suggested" Christian offers hopefully,

"Well that would get boring really quickly" Ana mumbles, I can tell she is gutted,

"Well then, maybe Elliot could use you on his construction sites" I notice Christian, glance at Elliot for confirmation, Elliot nods eagerly, trying to calm the anxiety rippling off Christian,

"Sure Ana, I always need trusted workmen or women" he corrects with a chuckle, Ana glances up at him, but I don't think she is convinced, "If the thought of working on a building site doesn't appeal, then don't worry, the painting crews are always the last on site, so you would pretty much have the place to yourself and the painters I have are a good bunch of lads, you would fit right it" I glance at Christian as his face falls, I don't think the thought of Ana being with a load of men all day, floats his boat, I bite my lip to hide me chuckle,

"There are a few things you would have to do first, like register with the tradesmen register, get your safety certificates, but it's basically common sense, so that shouldn't be a problem, plus you would probably look pretty cute in a hard hat" Elliot teases, but I know Ana and she isn't happy,

"Thank you Elliot, I'll think about it, I just don't understand the need for all the fuss, who would give a crap about me anyway?" Ana asks,

"Most of Seattle" I tease, which probably didn't help as I notice the stress rise in Christian,

"Ana you have to understand the press are going to hound us, they will use you to get to me, they will want to know everything because they know nothing, the press are like vultures Ana, they will pick until there's nothing left" I feel my eyebrows lift, as Christian catches my eye,

"No offense Kate" Christian offers apologetically,

"None taken, just don't tar us all with the same brush, some of us have scruples" I defend, but if I'm honest, Christian does have a point, I notice Christian run his hands through his hair as he glances at Ana, I think this is Christan's worst nightmare,

I notice Ana's eyes widen, as she turns to me, "Well that's it then, why not let Kate interview us... She knows us both, she will be honest, supportive, and if it will get everyone off our backs, what harm can it do?" Ana glances at Christian, and his whole body relaxes, he looks to me and a smile takes over his face, I don't know what he is thinking but it obviously helps,

"Okay why not, are you up for it Kate?" Christian asks, and I just nod, wow, I have wanted this for years, and now with all the added publicity surrounding these two, it would help my career no end,

"Good that's settled, why not talk to Ana over the next day or so, then come to my office Tuesday afternoon, I will make time for you and we can nip all this in the bud, How does that sound Kate? Does that work for you?" Christian eagerly asks,

"Of course Christian... Wow... I can't believe this, I have dreamed of this for years, and it only took me two years, hundreds of phone calls, countless email's and one best friend" as I glance at Ana she winks with a smile, I beam back at her, wow, this is going to change everything.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Lying in Chrisitan's arms, watching the most glorious sunset, my heart swells with pleasure, we have had a wonderful day. The boat, the company, the whole experience, has been something I will remember forever, and I can't wait to do it again. I glance at Kate, who like me, is snuggled safe in Elliot's grasp, I smile contented, as I feel Christian nuzzle my neck and his soft regretful voice hums in my ear,

"We better head back, it's getting dark" his arms tighten around me,

"Do we have to?" I whisper, snuggling into him further, reluctant to end this,

I feel his muscular warm chest, push into my back with his deep breath, his lips kiss the back of my head, as he breaths in deeply through his nose. As he sighs heavily, I turn in his arms to face him, my heart constricts at the pain I see on his face, he kisses me deeply and rests his brow to mine,

"As much as I don't want to, we need to, it's safer to sail when you can see what you're doing" his attempt at humor is his way of coping, but it's not working, his need is plain to see. Elliot must have noticed as he jumps up quickly,

"Come on captain, we need to set sail" with a swift kiss, Christian moves reluctantly away. His task soon takes over and occupies him and very soon, the two of them go into autopilot, reeling in and tieing off the sails, taking the boat back into the harbor, taking us home safely, to pull us apart.

As we arrive at the dock, I notice the cars, Kate's Merc, Christian's SUV, and a shiny new Volvo. I roll my eyes, he wasn't kidding, I bet that's mine. As the boarding ramp is lowered, I see Taylor come on board, he speaks to Christian, hands him a small black box, then heads back down the ramp. As he reaches the SUV, a tall, well built looking guy, climbs out of the passenger seat, he glances up at me and nods politely, I give a small smile in return and know who he is, I guess he's my new shadow.

Kate and Elliot, leave the boat their hands locked together, they head over to her Merc and climb inside, I hope she remembers she's driving me home. If Christian has to drive me, it will make this all the harder for him, at least here it will be a clean break, not too many tears can fall with an audience.

Christian takes my hand and pulls me to him, he kisses me softly "Come on, let's get you home" he turns and leads me down the ramp. As we reach the dock, Taylor greets us, "Evening Miss Steele, did you enjoy your afternoon?"

"Hi Taylor, and yes, I had a wonderful afternoon, I can't wait to go out again" I return brightly. Christian wraps his arm around my waist, smiling down at me, he turns me to face the burly guy who steps forward and nods efficiently,

"Ana, this is Luke Sawyer, he will make sure you get home safely" Chrisitian informs,

"I'm with Kate Christian, this isn't necessary" I say but I see flashes of panic, cross his face as he shakes his head slowly,

"I'm sorry baby, it doesn't matter, if I am not with you, then Luke will need to be, he is your own personal detail, from now on, where you go, he goes... Please baby, for me" his eyes plead and I see and understand now, how much he needs this, it's his way of knowing I'm safe and I can't begrudge him that. I nod and turn to my new best friend.

As he steps forward, he offers me his hand, "Pleasure to meet you Miss Steel, I am Luke Sawyer" his voice is professional, his nod is sharp but I see a twinkle of something in his bright blue eyes,

"Call me Ana please" I smile politely, shaking his hand, he stands tall, glancing at Christian,

"Miss Steel, It wouldn't feel right not showing you the rightful respect" the twinkle still shines and I don't know why but I like him, I feel okay in his presence, let's see how flexible his respect can be,

"Christian, could you please tell Luke, that when we are alone, I wish to be called Ana, when I am with you or in public, then I will accept the old maid address, as will Mr Sawyer" I turn to Christian with a smirk and wide eyes, I know he needs me to be happy about all of this, so humor should ease him,

"You heard the lady Sawyer" Christian chirps holding my eye, I feel his arm tighten around me, as he kisses my head,

"Yes sir, Miss Steele, I will wait in the car for whenever you are ready to go" I smile, yes, I think we are going to get along, as he walks away Taylor follows him.

As we stand alone on the dock, we turn to each other and I try to keep my feelings hidden, I smile brightly "Thank you for a wonderful day Christian, your boat is amazing, I truly can't wait to do it again" he pulls me to him tightly. I feel the erratic beat of his heart, as he squeezes me close to him, I giggle, "Can't breath Christian" I manage to mumble into his chest, he steps away quickly,

"Sorry baby" he whispers,

As I look up at him, the emotions that are running across his face, are the same that are running through me, and I know exactly how he is feeling. The dread of what is about to come is painful, half of me is going to be dragged kicking and screaming in the opposite direction away from him, and I want to just weep.

I smile up at him holding my composure, I step back, his arms fall from me, "Ana, please take this" he offers me the black box he's holding "I will feel better knowing you have this, it has been pre programmed with every number you could possibly need, mine, Taylor, Gail, Mom. Dad, my office, Ros, Welch," I frown, "My info guy" he jog's my sluggish memory, "Every person who could ever get in touch with me, I have also stored all the codes for Escala, for you to come and go as you please" I glance down at the box and it's a very sleek phone, I smile up at him,

"Thank you Christian"

"Your welcome baby, please try and keep it with you at all time, I can track it, so it will help me to know you're safe" I nod slightly bewildered, images of a little electronic flashing dot, running around a map on Christian's office wall, spring to mind, I shake my head slowly, my turn,

I pull my purse from my shoulder, place the box inside, then dig deep, finding my keys, I quickly pull off my house key, "Christian take this" I offer him my key, his eyes glance down, then shoot back up to mine, the hope, the joy, I see in them causes me to smile, I giggle "This doesn't mean I want a new housemate, it's just in case you need it... If you can't sleep, if you're troubled, even if you just need a hug" I giggle at his cocked eyebrow and we both chuckle, as if we could stop at just a hug. I vaguely hear two sets of footsteps approach and I know it's time to go.

"Come on Steele, we need to go" I hear Kate from behind me, Christian pulls me close, cups my cheek and kisses me softly,

"I'm going to miss you, my little bunny" he whispers, I hear Kate snigger from behind and I giggle, as I glance up, I see the pain in his eyes, my heart wrenches. I step forward so I'm closer to him, his arms take my waist,

"I don't want to go" I can't help my whisper, I feel the tears well up in my eyes, no, no, no, I must stay strong for him, I sniff with a giggle and step back, I turn to Kate "I'm coming now, thanks Kate"

"Ana" I hear Christian whisper, he isn't going to leave, he can't. He quickly rests his brow on mine, his deep sigh warms my lips, I kiss him quickly and step back further, his arms slide around to my sides but don't leave me.

"Sir, we need to go" Taylor's voice urges, I feel his hands tighten before he steps back, putting a safe distance between us, he nods to Taylor "Have Sawyer follow closely" he mumbles, he quickly leans forward, kisses my brow with a long hard kiss, "I love you" he whispers, then turn on his heel and storms to the back of the SUV.

As his door slams shut, my tears fall, Kate's arm wraps around me and she pulls me to her, she turns me and leads me to her car. As we get near, Elliot climbs out and as he passes, he kisses Kate good bye and cups my cheek "See you later little lady" he says and kisses my brow, I look at his blurred face through my tears and mumble "Goodbye"

As the Merc leaves the dock, I strain my neck and try to keep my weeping eyes on the shrinking SUV heading in the other direction. Oh what have I done...

A/N THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW;)XX

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