Author's Note:- Just wanted to say that I have read and fully understand the frustration at all the 'angst' fuelled chapters of late. Believe me when I say that they are essential, however drawn out but it will be easier from here on in. There will be more easy conversations, crimes, humour, chemistry, Rizzles, one final angst moment and then the end you've all been waiting for! Ok?
Chapter 34Late autumn had seemed to bring the crazies out in Boston keeping the precinct busier than usual. By the time December was knocking on the door, Jane felt about ready to quit, both her body and mind exhausted from work as well as the emptiness that clawed at her soul.
Time spent with Maura had been limited to say the least. Coffees over a case file and one lunch at a local deli had been the full extent of their contact. She had seen the withdrawal in the M.E, the lack of confidence in her interactions with other officers, including Korsak and Frost. It had pained her to see her look so lost and fragile and this morning was no different as she watched the honey-blonde passing on her findings to Cavanaugh. As she exited the office and headed her way, Jane made her presence known.
"Hey."
"Hello. Are you waiting for me on something?" Maura asked unsure.
"No on the crime stuff, yes on the waiting for you." She smiled warmly, aware of the hustle and bustle around them. "You got a minute?"
"Of course."
Jane led them both to an empty interview room and closed the door. They sat opposite one another; both sets of eyes entranced by the other.
"So…" The brunette began awkwardly, realising this was the first time they had been alone without an audience in a long while. "I wanted to ask if you're ok? You haven't seemed yourself recently, around people I mean."
Maura sighed, letting out the breath she had been holding in anticipation of Jane's words. "What would you like me to say?" She replied coolly.
"The truth if you want to share it." She said softly. "You're not alone." She added.
Maura laughed, filling the air with an uneasy feeling and one that had the detective regretting her recent actions. "I've always been alone Jane. I'm quite used to it. But yes, I have been struggling to leave the house of late. My doctor says it is quite normal so you have no need to concern yourself."
"I'm sorry. I should have spoken to you about this before."
"It's alright." She said, her tone more gentle as she found herself unwillingly falling into Jane's dark brown eyes again.
"No, it isn't. I've been so busy and I lose myself in the job to get by." She looked away, running a shaking hand through her wild hair. "Ma is pissed at me for avoiding her calls and dinner invites."
"I know. She often asks me how you are."
Jane looked up, a look of surprise on her face. "Really?"
"Yes. Whenever I see her in the coffee shop."
"Sorry if she's bothered you." She husked.
"She's actually been very kind to me. Always takes care of me and serves me first." She smiled, clearly warmed by the memories.
"That's good." She replied, smiling in return and pleased that Maura had had someone take an interest in her welfare.
They sat in silence for a few moments both seeming to study the other for some sign of where the conversation was going to lead them, until Maura spoke. "How are you?" She asked softly, wanting desperately to reach across the table and take the hands that Jane was worrying at in her own. She ached from not touching her in so long.
"I'm ok. Tired, but no more than usual."
"Nightmares?"
"Yeah." She picked at her scars with her thumbs.
"You can always call me, no matter what has happened." Maura said, seeing a flash of need dance across the brunette's eyes as she spoke.
"Thanks. I'm not sure anything really helps these days." She sighed, remembering all to well the last night she had slept soundly in the M.E's embrace, free from the horror that waited behind her eyelids.
"I know something that helped." She added with a sly smile; a slight tilt to the head. Her phone vibrated on the table. "Excuse me." She said, turning in her chair. "Isles."
Jane watched her on the phone taking in the striking beauty and flawless skin that rose above the neckline of her sculpted dress. The more she looked the more her own flesh burned with a need to caress it, to taste it, to possess it as her own. Instead she hooked her hands into her lap and sat back on the chair, calming her breathing in the process.
"That was the lab. They have the results I was waiting for."
"Right." Jane said standing up and walking to the door to meet Maura.
"Thank you." She said, her hazel-green eyes full of warmth.
"For what?"
"Asking me if I was alright. It is nice to know I have someone like you in my corner." She replied, before walking away leaving Jane with nothing to do but watch, mesmerised, as she sashayed out of sight.
…..
Friday night came and Jane reluctantly agreed to join Korsak and Frost for a beer surprised to find Maura waiting for them; a glass of chalky red wine in hand.
"You really should get used to the beer." Jane said with a smile, slipping in opposite her.
"Oh this? Well I actually have a case of my own vintage on hold for me here."
"Wow! A real regular." Korsak said with a broad grin and a chuckle. "Nice move."
Maura blushed and took a sip from the elegant glass.
"The usual." Jane said as the waitress came over, indicating the same for her colleagues. "Could really use the burn of a cold one tonight."
"It's all I've thought about since breakfast." Vince countered. "Tough week."
"Tough month." Frost replied stretching out in the booth. "How's it been for you Doc?"
"Demanding." She sighed.
"And we still have to make it through Christmas." Korsak grunted.
"Shit. Don't remind me." Jane said putting her head against the table. "I hate it."
"I rather like the tradition of it all." Maura said brightly. "Decorating the tree and the home, inviting friends and family over for drinks and home cooked food. Quiet nights in front of an open fire. It can often bring the best out in people."
"And the worst." Frost said. "Last year was really bad."
"Damn straight." Korsak agreed. "People want more of what they can't afford so up their game. Robberies turn more ugly and the bodies stack up."
"I just try and ignore it." Jane said. "I mean I loved it as a kid, but now it just seems so pointless, you know? Not that my Ma will ever let me do that." She smiled.
"Not while ever there is breath in that lanky body of yours." Vince said with a laugh.
"Hey! I'm just lean." She said, sitting up straighter as the waitress returned with their round.
"I would like it if you all came over to my house one evening." Maura said, all eyes suddenly on her in surprise. "Katie is coming over to decorate with me this weekend and it would be lovely to cook for you all."
"That's real kind of you Doc. I'm in." Korsak said with a warm smile.
"Me too." Frost said taking a sip of beer, the froth getting trapped on his stubble.
"Jane?" Maura said, her eyes hopeful and questioning.
"I'd love too." She replied placing her hand over the M.E's briefly before snatching it away. She flashed an apologetic smile not wanting to upset her again. The look was returned in kind.
"That's settled then. I'll bring a good bottle of Champagne with me." Vince said. "Least I can do."
"There really is no need as I am fully stocked. It would be my pleasure so indulge me." Maura said, clearly charming the entire booth.
"Maybe we should hire a limousine too, make a night of it." Frost said with a grin.
"What a wonderful idea!" Maura said beaming. "I will arrange caterers and we can take a tour round the city first with champagne, then back to my house for dinner. Perfect!" She clapped her hands together and Jane couldn't remember seeing her look more adorable.
"Hey, I was only playing around." Barry said, worried now that he had overstepped the mark. "No need for anything but dinner."
"Taking liberties?" Jane said with a nudge to the ribs. "Seriously Maura, don't go to all that trouble. Your cooking is more than enough to satisfy us. That and your company of course."
"Oh, ok." She answered, a little disappointed.
Picking up on this Jane added. "Maybe that could be for another occasion." She said with a smile.
Maura looked up at her and her heart beat faster at the obvious understanding her detective was showing her and before she could help herself she opened her mouth to speak. "You should come over and help with the tree. Katie had already asked if you would be there."
"I'm not really very good at that kinda thing." She husked, taking a swig of beer from the bottle.
"Me either but Nikki has already got me roped in this weekend." Frost sighed.
"I don't bother." Korsak said with a shrug. "I hate having to clean up all those damn pine needles."
"Get one of those cheap ass tinsel ones with the lights already attached." Barry said helpfully. "That's what I used to do."
"I might." He replied, huffing.
"So you gonna get all festive then partner?" Frost said addressing Jane.
Maura was still looking at her clearly not satisfied with an answer of poor decorating abilities. "Sure. Why not." She conceded.
"Katie will be thrilled." The M.E. said taking a long sip of wine, twirling the stem in between her fingers.
"Be great to see her." Jane said fondly.
"Thought you were bad with kids Rizzoli?" Barry said.
"Nah, she's alright as long as she can give them back." Korsak said with a deep chuckle.
Before the brunette could reply, Maura came to her defence. "Well Katie is absolutely smitten with Jane. She talks about her whenever we speak and always asks to see her."
"She does?" Jane asked, a tinge of sadness in her voice at how absent she had suddenly been in the honey-blonde's life.
"She does." Maura stated simply with a genuine smile.
"Ah, Janie's got a fan!" Frost chanted childishly.
"Fuck off, and don't ever call me Janie." She responded along with a punch to his arm.
"Ow! Geez. Korsak gets to say it."
"I earned it." He replied.
"And I hate it when you call me it too." She said with a grin.
"Well here's to a festive weekend." Barry said raising his bottle in the air.
"To a festive weekend!" All four shouted, clinking their drinks together over the table.
Maura caught Jane's eye and was suddenly looking forward to her time off more than ever.