A/N – Just a quick warning that I'm probably going to be moving toward longer gaps between updates, maybe every two weeks instead of weekly like before. I'm still planning to rotate between the three stories though, so the next one up is Marshmallows and Moonlight.
Thanks again to my fabulous beta, Bondopoulos, who I couldn't do this with out! And thanks to all of you wonderful readers too! I'm so excited that this story has passed 700 reviews! I really do appreciate all the support from all of you.
Disclaimer: All original VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.
Chapter 36
After they finished eating, Veronica helped Logan clean things up a bit. She reflected back on what had happened during breakfast as she rinsed off plates for him to put in the dishwasher. Their conversation had stayed fairly light, revolving around the food and some general plans for the day. She was pretty sure Logan was intentionally trying to avoid anything too stressful which she did appreciate. There had been some affectionate caresses and tender looks, but things seemed quite a bit different to her when compared to how they had behaved in the past when they were alone together. It also felt a bit inconsistent with how passionate Logan had been when he charged into her hospital room the night before. Veronica was trying not to worry about it, but couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling different now for some reason.
Logan gave her a slightly nervous grin when all the dirty dishes were loaded into the dishwasher. "I was going to go up and take a quick shower before I take you to the pharmacy and your dad's," he explained with a hesitant expression. "I'll be quick so you won't have to wait long."
Veronica crooked an eyebrow at him. "What, no invitation?" she asked somewhat flirtatiously.
Instead of the wolfish grin Veronica had expected to see, Logan's expression became a bit troubled. He reached up to gently brush his hand through her hair. "Whether or not you're just teasing, I think we'd better hold off on that. At least until you've had a little more time to process everything," he replied somberly.
Veronica gave him a slightly dissenting look. "I'm fine, Logan… and I was just teasing anyway." Not that I would have turned him down if it had been offered.
Logan narrowed his eyes slightly as he smiled and nodded. "Okay… You're of course welcome to shower here as well. There's a guest suite down the hall from mine and I can get your clothes from the dyer."
"That sounds great," Veronica answered with a nod. "Thanks." She gave him an appreciative smile even though she was thinking about how nineteen-year-old Logan would never have turned down even the slightest hint of showering together. She knew that there were extenuating circumstances right now, so she continued trying to avoid making a big deal about it.
Logan leaned in closer so he could kiss her temple, and then reached down to intertwine his hands with hers. He led her to the laundry room and then pulled her clothes out of the dryer. He offered to carry them up to the guest suite before they turned and headed back to the stairs. Once they reached the top, he pointed to the first door on the right.
"That's Heather's room," he explained as they walked past it. "And this," he continued as they reached the next door on the right, a bit farther down the hall than the entrance to his room, "is the guest room."
They walked into the nicely decorated, yet modest, room together. "Do you get many guests?" Veronica asked curiously as she glanced around at the bed and furnishings.
Logan shrugged and shook his head. "Not really. Heather's friends sometimes stay over I guess, but that's about it." He led her into the adjoining bathroom, which was clearly not as luxurious as his, but still quite a bit nicer than ones she was used to.
"Oh, I have some waterproof bandages," Logan said as he pulled a towel out of the cabinet for her.
"Great, thanks," Veronica said with a smile. "I take it you've had to use them a time or two?" she asked with a quirked brow.
Logan chuckled and nodded. He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "I'll be right back, okay?" he asked almost cautiously.
She smiled and nodded. She had barely let him out of her sight since they arrived there the night before, but she was feeling more secure now. "Yep," she said with a reassuring smile. "I'll be right here waiting patiently for you."
Logan gave her a concerned look and put his hand on her forehead. "Veronica Mars, patient? There must be something seriously wrong with you." He smirked as she poked him in the stomach. He leaned in and gave her another quick kiss. "Back in a jiffy," he said before he disappeared out the door.
With nothing else to do, Veronica took a minute to study herself in the mirror. Even though she thought she'd slept fairly well the night before, she could tell that she looked weary. She didn't want to start thinking about the shooting again though. She was about to head over to his room to find Logan when he appeared in the doorway. He gave her a curious look, but didn't say anything as he held up the box of bandages. He asked if she needed help removing the current bandage that had been put on at the hospital and replacing it with the waterproof one. She nodded in agreement and he carefully went to work. She wondered how many times he'd done the same thing on his own injuries. There were certainly some that Aaron had caused and likely some from working at the sheriff's department as well.
"All right. You're good to go," Logan said with a tender smile as he finished up. "I'll be in my room if you need anything. Just knock on my bathroom door if you need me, okay?"
Veronica couldn't help but give him a slightly puzzled look but nodded anyway. She couldn't remember any other time he'd told her to knock before she barged into his bathroom, but wasn't going to say anything about it. He leaned in and gave her another kiss before he left the room again. She started the shower, and found herself feeling more anxious the longer she was there alone, so she didn't stay in very long. She quickly dried off and put on her clean clothes and then headed toward Logan's room. He must have showered quickly too because he was just opening his bathroom door as she walked in.
"Hey," he said with a warm smile as he finished pulling a t-shirt over his head. "Everything okay?"
She nodded and smiled in reply, taking a moment to appreciate his freshly showered appearance. He told her that he just needed a few minutes to pack some stuff to take on the yacht and then they could go. She took a seat on his bed and watched as he went into the walk-in closet and started putting clothes into a duffle bag. She noticed that he kept glancing back out at her for brief moments as he was packing. Veronica found her mind wandering to what she would rather be doing with him that involved far less clothes than what they were currently wearing. She thought about his reaction downstairs when she'd teased him about the shower, and decided not to make any comments so soon. She was hoping that if he saw that she was fine the rest of the afternoon, maybe he'd be less reluctant to speed up the rekindling process.
They left shortly after Logan had all of his things ready. Their first stop was at the pharmacy to get her prescription filled. Logan went inside with her, but Veronica told him he could sit on one of the waiting chairs rather than waiting in line with her. She knew she was feeling a little needy, but was also starting to feel like she was being a bit ridiculous about it. When she came back over to him after getting the pills, Logan let her know that he'd called the yacht club to get everything ready for them to go out on the boat. He also mentioned that he had called Heather to let her know what had happened and to see if she could stay another night at her friend's house.
Once they were back in the car, they decided that the next stop would be her dad's house. She told Logan that she would just get her car at the station once they were back from Catalina. She knew it would be safe parked in the lot there, and she really didn't want to deal with anything related to her job yet. Since Keith was still in New Mexico, the house was empty when they arrived. Weevil must have stopped by to get Backup again as well. She found a note from Weevil on the counter, saying he had dropped by to take Backup and to let him know if there was anything he could do to help. As Veronica read the note, she felt some anxiety creep back in, and she wanted nothing more than to just get out of Neptune. She wanted nothing more than to get on the yacht and sail off, leaving all the things bothering her behind.
Veronica led Logan back to the guest room she was using and he stopped just inside the entrance. He leaned against the doorframe, watching as she began to pack her things. Even before she'd finished zipping the bag closed, he was at her side, ready to carry it to the car for her. She appreciated the help, and gladly let him pick it up, but couldn't help notice that slight edge of worry that was still in his eyes.
She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him. It started as tender kisses, but she quickly deepened it and then heard the bag fall on the bed as his arms wrapped around her. One of his hands caressed up her back into her hair, while the other one rested on her lower back. Logan's back had been closest to the bed and Veronica pushed slightly on him until he ended up sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Much better," she whispered teasingly against his lips. "I like having the height advantage for a change." She felt him laugh against her lips as he continued to kiss her. Without breaking the kiss, she shifted from standing between his knees to straddling his lap. Their breathing had gotten more labored the longer they kissed, and she really wanted to be doing more than just kissing. She started to gently rock against him and heard a soft moan escape his lips before his hands landed firmly on her hips, stopping her movement.
"I um…" he panted against her mouth. "I think we should probably get going to the yacht before we get too carried away here."
She leaned slightly away from him and traced her fingers along his face. "What if I want to get carried away?" she asked with a suggestive expression.
Logan chuckled nervously before giving her a somber look. "Veronica, you've just been through a very traumatic experience. I think you need some time to deal with everything before we do something like that."
Her suggestive expression changed to one of discontent. "I'm fine, Logan," she replied as she ran her fingers into his hair. "I'm feeling much better today than I did last night."
He looked at her skeptically even though he nodded in agreement. "Okay… I just think you need a little more time."
"I'm not that fragile, Logan," she replied almost obstinately. "And it's not like we haven't been together before."
It seemed as if Logan was trying to give her a comforting smile, but she could still see the worry in his eyes. "I know," he replied as he nodded. "You have no idea how much restraint this is taking, but I really believe it's for the best to wait until you've had a little more time to process things." He paused and studied her carefully, reaching up to brush some hair off of her forehead. "Do you want to stick around Neptune today and maybe talk to someone? I'm sure Kayla would be happy to talk with you today, which might help."
Veronica shook her head resolutely. "No. I don't need to do that, Logan. I just… I just want to go out on the yacht with you."
"Okay," he replied with a reassuring smile as he gently ran his other hand up and down her back. "We can do that." He leaned toward her and kissed her again, but this time it was firmer and more controlled. "I love you, Veronica," he said after the kiss, while his forehead still rested against hers. "I just want what's best for you."
She softened slightly at his tone and response. "I know," she said quietly before placing a quick kiss on his lips again. "Let's head to the marina then." She really hoped that being out on the ocean would make them both feel better and more at ease being together again.
Veronica insisted on calling the hospital on the way to the marina to check in to see how Doug was doing. She quickly glanced at her text message notifications after she powered on her phone again and saw some new ones from her dad and Wallace. She skipped reading those and looked up the hospital's number instead. She was frustrated when the hospital staff wouldn't release any patient information to her, so she called Leo instead. She felt Logan reach over and gently stroke her leg as she waited for Leo to answer. She turned to look at him and caught the same concerned expression on his face again. Leo let them know that Doug's condition hadn't changed from the night before, but that they were encouraged that he had made it through the night.
"How are you doing this morning?" Leo asked with a concerned tone after giving her an update on Doug.
"Better," Veronica answered, hoping to get off the phone as soon as possible now that she knew Doug's status.
"I do need to have you come in and give a formal statement," Leo said, sounding a tad hesitant.
"Oh…" Veronica had hoped to avoid doing that for a while longer. "Logan and I are on the way to the marina. We were going to go out on his yacht for the day."
"Maybe you could stop by the station on the way so we can take care of it," Leo suggested a bit more authoritatively. "The sooner we take care of that, the sooner we can wrap all that up and get you back to some sort of case work. I'm sure you'd like to continue working on the Donaldson case even if it's from a less active position."
Leave it to Leo to know exactly which way to manipulate her to ensure that she would come in. Veronica let out a deep sigh. "Fine, we'll stop in on our way to the marina," she replied reluctantly. Veronica glanced over at Logan, who could either hear Leo's side of the conversation, or, at least, had just guessed what they were talking about. He gave her a knowing look and took the next turn that would take them to the station rather than the marina.
Logan didn't wait for Veronica to ask him to come into the station with her, climbing out of the car as soon as they parked and walking over to open her door. When he reached out for her hand, she hesitated and gave him a troubled look.
"Is Leo going to be upset about this? About us?" Veronica asked as she stared down at his outstretched hand for a moment and then back up at him.
"Well he certainly won't let us be official partners," Logan said thoughtfully as he pulled his hand back to his side.
"You'd mentioned some other couple when I first visited the station. Thomas and someone?"
Logan smirked slightly. "I may have made that up to make sure Doug didn't try to hit on you," he said abashedly. "But, to be fair, Leo does try to discourage deputies from dating one another. We just haven't had many female deputies so it hasn't been too much of a concern before."
Veronica nodded in understanding. "So he won't be too upset about us being together again?"
Logan shrugged. "Well, I'm sure he's going to be upset about it, but not enough to fire either of us."
"How about the other deputies?"
"Oh, I'm sure they'll all be jealous," Logan said with a wolfish grin. "I am quite the catch you know."
Veronica rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. "That's not what I meant."
Logan chuckled before he replied. "I know it's not. But you're right. It would probably be best if we kept a low profile at the station and remained as professional as possible… at least when other people are around. That doesn't mean that if I get you alone in the evidence locker, that I won't take advantage of that," he added salaciously. She was a little surprised by his change in demeanor after how hesitant he'd been at her dad's house, but given their current surroundings, she could understand him feeling a bit more confident that she wasn't going to act on it there either.
Veronica gave him a chastising look before she climbed out of the car and started to walk toward the entrance. Even though she may have acted like she didn't agree with his suggestion, she had to admit that pulling him into an empty evidence locker before they left sounded awfully tempting. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that he was following a few steps behind her and she gave him an appreciative smile as she winked at him.
It didn't take her too long to provide her statement to Leo. Things had happened so fast that there weren't a whole lot of details that she could really provide. She felt her heartbeat become erratic when she thought about the incident again. Logan had taken a seat at his desk and was either really going through some paperwork, or just pretending to, while he waited for her. They quickly said goodbye to the rest of the staff in the office before heading back to Logan's car. He opened the car door for her and she climbed in and gave him a grateful smile as he closed the door behind her. Veronica rested her head against the back of the seat and closed her eyes as she waited for him to walk around. She quickly realized that was a bad idea though, because she instantly started imaging the events from the night before replaying in her head. She felt a tear roll down her cheek before she opened her eyes and stared out the front window of Logan's SUV.
Moments after she heard Logan climb in and close his own door, she felt his fingers brush against her cheek. "Maybe we should just go back to my place. We can go out on the yacht another day," he suggested softly.
"No," she quickly answered as she shook her head. "I really want to go out on the yacht."
"Okay," he replied with a nod as she turned toward him. He gave her a weak smile, before he started the car and pulled out of the department's parking lot.
It didn't take them too long to reach the marina once they'd left the station. Logan climbed out and grabbed their bags before he met her next to the passenger side door. She reached out and took his hand in hers as they headed down to the yacht. Being so close to the ocean was already starting to make her feel better. There was a warm breeze blowing in off the water, and the sun was shining brightly. She tried to focus on the beauty of that, rather than the ugliness of what had happened the night before. She wished she could have skipped stopping at the station first, but at least that was out of the way now.
Logan carried their bags into the cabin's bedroom and then went about getting the yacht ready to go out. Like she had on their other trip, Veronica offered to help him get the ropes untied and then joined him on the upper most deck.
"Want to pilot her yourself?" Logan asked as he reached out his hand for hers and then positioned her in front of him where the steering wheel was located.
"Her, hmm?" Veronica asked with a mischievous lilt to her voice as she looked over her shoulder at him.
"Of course… all boats are referred to that way," Logan said with a devious smirk. When Veronica gave him a questioning look, he started talking again in the voice he always used when he would repeat a quote. "Like a woman, a ship is unpredictable." Veronica rolled her eyes and shook her head, earning a soft chuckle from him.
He reached down and grabbed her hands so he could put one on the steering wheel and the other on one of the levers. She turned her head forward again so she could watch what he was doing with her hands and he placed a quick kiss on the top of her head before he began to explain to her how to operate the boat. He mostly controlled it until they were out of the harbor, but then, once they were clear of any other boats, he let her take total control. It was definitely exhilarating to be in control of the yacht, and it helped to take her mind off of the other things that she'd just relived at the station. As they started getting closer to Catalina, Logan began giving her some directions again. She noticed that he was having her go much farther north than where they had searched for the weapon that had killed Benjamin. That of course also put them quite a ways from Avalon as well. He finally saw the spot he must have been looking for and slowed down the engine as he pointed to where he wanted her to go.
"This is quite a ways from Avalon, isn't it?" Veronica asked as Logan was putting the anchors in place. "I thought we were going to have dinner on the island?"
Logan shrugged as he finished the second anchor and walked back toward her. "If you're feeling up to a dinner date later we can always take the yacht over there, or we can just eat here too. I had the marina staff stock the fridge for us. In fact, there should be something we can have for lunch if you're hungry now?"
Veronica barely heard anything Logan had said after 'dinner date'. His comment suddenly reminded her that she actually had made a dinner date for that evening.
"Veronica?" Logan asked when she didn't answer whatever question she'd barely heard him ask.
"Oh… um… yeah…" Veronica stuttered out in reply. He gave her a curious look and cocked his head slightly at her.
"What's wrong?" he asked with a bit more concern to his tone.
"I um," she replied hesitantly with a grimaced expression on her face. "I forgot… I um…"
Logan chuckled nervously and shook his head. "Just tell me what's wrong?"
"I forgot I already had a dinner date scheduled for tonight," she said as she cringed slightly.
"Oh…" Logan replied, surprise clearly evident on his face. "Um… do you need me to take you back?" he asked uncertainly.
Veronica shook her head quickly. "No. I just need to cancel it."
Logan studied her a bit more closely as his expression became more inquisitive. "I take from your reaction that it wasn't with Wallace or Mac?"
Veronica bit on her lip for a moment and shook her head. "No…" She let out a deep sigh before she continued. Starting out with any lies this time certainly isn't what I want to do. No matter how awkward this might get. "I made a date to have dinner with Troy," Veronica shared apologetically.
"Oh…" Logan replied. She could see a bit of hurt cross his face even though he was trying to act like it didn't bother him.
"I'm sorry. I did it when I thought you were with Kayla on Thursday night," she explained regrettably, realizing now what had actually happened that night.
He gave her a troubled look before he spoke again. "Veronica, I did tell you before then that I wasn't interested in Kayla."
Veronica let out a deep sigh and nodded. "I know, but then I saw you kissing her. I guess… I guess I thought you had changed your mind. You had already told me that you weren't interested in a relationship with me."
Logan's expression softened slightly. "I know I did… I thought that was for the best… as misguided as that may have been." He paused for a minute before he continued. "I want you to trust me, Veronica, which includes believing me when I tell you something like that. This isn't going to work if you don't believe me. I hope you know how much it hurts me when you don't even give me a chance to explain things to you."
"I'm sorry, Logan," Veronica replied with a pleading expression. "I know I've been doing a terrible job since I've been back at jumping to conclusions and that hasn't been fair to you at all."
Logan nodded in reply and reached up to brush his hands through her hair. "Please just talk to me next time. Just ask me whatever you need to know. For this to work this time, we can't have doubts about each other."
Veronica nodded and gave him a weak smile. "I know. I promise I'll do that from now on."
Logan took a deep breath and then leaned toward her and placed a quick kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, he gave her a devious grin. "I guess you'd better make a phone call now, unless you'd like me to take you back so you can keep your date."
Veronica shook her head and laughed slightly. "Nope… no going back now, Echolls," she said salaciously as she leaned up to kiss him again.
"Good," he said a little breathlessly when their lips parted a few seconds later. "You'd better make that call."
Veronica nodded in agreement and then pulled her phone out and walked over to the nearest lounge chair to sit down.
"I'm going to go see about lunch," Logan said with a reassuring smile before he turned and headed into the cabin. Veronica appreciated that he didn't feel the need to hover while she called to talk to Troy.
It only took a couple rings before Troy answered his phone. "Hey, are you okay? I heard a deputy was shot last night and was worried sick. I tried to call, but it only went to your voicemail," Troy quickly blurted out as soon as he came on the line.
"Yeah… I um… well I was there and got a minor wound on my arm… but I'm okay…"
"Look, if you want to reschedule tonight's dinner, I completely understand."
"Yeah, about that… I um… well Logan and I are together again," Veronica said a bit awkwardly.
"Oh," Troy replied, followed by a long drawn out silence. "I guess that might explain his reaction to me being at the station the other day."
"Yeah… well there were other things going on that day, too, but I suppose part of it might have been due to his feelings for me."
"I um…" Troy started and then paused again. "I had heard a bit about the two of you being together when I came back to Neptune. I guess it was hard for me to imagine it with how he acted toward you in high school, but I guess we've all changed a lot since then."
"Yeah, we have," Veronica replied softly. "I am sorry about this."
"Hey, it's fine, Veronica. Really, no worries," Troy quickly responded. "Take care of yourself, and maybe I'll see you at another basketball game. Be sure to bring Logan next time, because it would be nice to spend some time catching up with him too."
"I will. And you too," Veronica replied before they both said goodbye and she hung up the phone.
When she got off the phone, Veronica headed into the cabin to see what Logan was doing. She found him in the kitchen area, removing containers from the fridge and placing them on the counter. He paused and gave her a mischievous smile. "Change of heart? Did he win you over with sweet talk so I need to take you back now?" he asked sarcastically.
She shook her head and narrowed her eyes as she walked over in front of him. She stopped when she was right in front of him and gave him a sincere smile. "Stop it. You know there's no one else. I only want you," she replied in her best imitation of what he'd said to her all those years before.
Logan took a deep breath. His expression became more sincere and he leaned down to kiss her. After a moment of bending down, he lifted her up and sat her on the counter, just barely missing the containers of food he'd placed there. His lips quickly moved from her mouth to passionately kissing her neck, causing her to moan and tangle her hands into her hair, pulling him even closer to her. After a few seconds of kissing her neck and under her ear, he moved back to her lips again.
"You know," she said seductively against his mouth as she tried to catch her breath a bit. "There's a big old lonely bed in the other room that might be more comfortable than this counter."
Logan chuckled softly and nodded his head against hers. "You know I meant more than just a couple of hours when I said I thought you needed more time to deal with everything, right?"
Veronica gave him her best pout. "I'm sure you could easily wash all my worries away with your magical touch, though," she said as she stroked her fingers through his hair.
Logan let out a deep sigh as he dropped his head to her shoulder. "You're a devious woman," he said as she felt him shake his head slightly against her.
She chuckled at him and kissed the top of his head. "Okay, how about you feed me some lunch, and then I'll see about making you give in to my evil demands."
He stood up straighter so that he could look her in the eyes again. "Deal," he replied with an amused smirk. The smirk disappeared after staring at her for a second though, replaced by a more sincere expression. "I really do love you, Veronica," he said as he stared into her eyes. "I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it to you again, but please believe me when I say that I never stopped."
"I do," she said as she nodded in reply. "And I feel the same way. You're one of the main reasons I came back, even if I didn't want to admit it at the time. I wasn't even sure you were still in the area, but really hoped that you were," she replied as she gave him a tender smile.
"Really?" he asked, seeming to be surprised by her admission. She nodded in reply and placed her right hand on his cheek. He leaned in to kiss her again as he pulled her a little tighter against him. He finally broke the kiss and panted slightly as he spoke again. "Okay, let's get you some food."
She gave him a sly smile and nodded in agreement. She still planned on getting her way, and decided that fueling up beforehand was a wise choice for sure.
Logan suggested that they eat out on the deck since it was a pleasantly warm afternoon. Their lunch at the small table on the deck was much more relaxed than the last time they'd eaten there. Veronica hoped that Logan wouldn't think back to the details of that painful conversation either. They started talking a bit about a new break in the case that he was helping with in LA. As they were finishing up with their lunch, Logan told her a little about the cove they were in. He said that it was called Goat Cove and that it was a very good diving spot. He also mentioned his earlier offer to teach her to dive, of course, once her arm was properly healed up.
She'd been trying to keep her mind on anything but the shooting, especially after having to give her statement at the station. Unfortunately though, his mention of her arm brought that all rushing back again. She felt herself take a shaky breath as she nodded in reply, not really even thinking about the question he'd asked. She stared down at the table in front of her, images from the night before flashing through her mind again. The man's body falling as she squeezed the trigger on her gun... seeing the wound immediately appear in his chest... the horrifying sound he made as he fell. She sucked in a loud sob before she realized what she was doing.
"Veronica," Logan said in a soft soothing voice as he scooted out of his chair and knelt in front of her. "You're okay, baby," he said as he reached up and gently brushed the side of her head.
Veronica felt the tears start to roll down her face. It was as if a dam inside of her had just broken. Logan pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face against his chest and continued to cry. She didn't want to feel this weak and devastated. She'd survived… she was safe… she'd stopped the bad guy… but she still felt so guilty and afraid. Logan caressed her back with one hand, while the other one rested firmly at the base of her neck. He tried his best to calm her back down, just as he had the night before. She had convinced herself that she was okay, that she was dealing with it just fine, but obviously she was wrong.
"Do you want to go back to Neptune?" Logan asked softly before placing a tender kiss on her head. "I'm sure we can get a hold of one of the psychologists that the department frequently uses for you to talk to them."
"No," Veronica mumbled against his chest. "I just want to stay out here with you." She took in a deep sobbing breath. "I'm not ready… to deal with more yet."
"Okay," Logan said in an understanding tone. "We can stay out here if that's what you want." She nodded in agreement against his chest. "I don't know exactly everything you're feeling, but I do know how it was for me. You may not feel like you want to talk to anyone about it right now, but, surprisingly, that really did help me deal with it."
"It's just…" she paused and sucked in a shaky breath. "I just want to forget it happened and not talk about it."
Logan gently stroked her head. "Bottling it all up inside isn't a healthy way to handle it though, Veronica. I think deep down you know that's true." Veronica sniffled against his shirt and shrugged slightly. She was sure he was probably right, but she really just wanted to forget about what happened. "Do you want to go and lay down inside? Maybe take a nap and get some more rest?"
"Will you stay with me?" Veronica asked in a quiet whisper.
"Of course I will," he replied before he kissed her head again. "I promise not to leave your side until you want me to."
She took a deep breath and leaned up so that she could look at his face. While there was still a lot of worry in his eyes, there was also so much love. Veronica leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. "I never want you to leave my side," she said as the kiss ended.
"Then that's where I'll always be," he replied before kissing her tenderly in return.
Once they were in the bedroom, Veronica curled up next to Logan on the bed with her head on top of his chest. He was slowly caressing her back with one hand, while the other rested on her waist. She was definitely feeling exhausted from the events of the day before, but she was afraid of what she might dream about if she fell asleep so soon after her breakdown out on deck. After a few minutes of silence, Veronica decided she'd rather talk for a while before trying to drift off to sleep.
"What made you decide to become a deputy?" she asked as she gently rubbed Logan's chest. She'd been curious about that ever since Mac and Wallace told her, but hadn't asked him yet.
She felt Logan take a deep breath before he slowly let it out. It seemed more like a reluctant reaction than anything else. She lifted up on her elbows so she could see his face and he gave her a grimaced smile while he shrugged his shoulders slightly.
"I guess it was you and Leo actually," he replied after a few seconds, looking slightly uncomfortable.
She gave him a puzzled look and shook her head, not understanding what he meant.
He took a few more seconds to search her eyes before he started to speak again. She could tell he still felt a bit uncertain about continuing on, but must have decided it was better to explain what had happened than to keep it to himself.
"Leo was the deputy that took the call when Dick was admitted to the hospital," Logan started to explain with a very somber expression on his face. Veronica nodded in response since she already knew that from talking with Leo as well. "Dick wouldn't say who had beaten him up and I guess he sounded pretty delusional too. Leo came looking for me to see if I knew what had happened and to try to figure out what Dick was talking about. I guess Dick kept saying something about it being all his fault that Cassidy had..." Logan paused and gave her a pained look. Veronica took a deep breath and nodded for him to continue. That was definitely not her favorite topic, but she was glad that they were opening up more with each other, even if it was difficult.
"Leo tracked me down at some dive bar and of course as soon as he saw me... well my hands... it was pretty obvious what had happened." Logan paused again and closed his eyes. Veronica reached up and ran her fingers tenderly across his cheek. He let out a shaky breath before he opened his eyes again. "He must have put the pieces together. He said something about there only being one woman that he could imagine me nearly killing a man over. I guess Dick never actually said your name in his delusional ramblings. Leo said he should probably arrest me for the assault or for using a fake ID, but instead he decided to give me advice. Honestly, I'd had several shots before he found me and I don't remember everything he said, but the gist of his message made it through to me at least. He'd told me I could either continue on the fucked up path I was headed down, or decide to make a change. To do something to help people instead and to become someone you'd be proud of."
Veronica gave him a loving smile before she leaned up to kiss him. "I am proud of you Logan," she said after their lips parted. "And I'm touched that I was part of the inspiration behind it."
Logan nodded and pressed his lips to hers again. "You've always inspired me to want to be a better man," he whispered after the kiss.
Veronica let out a contented sigh and rested her head against Logan's chest again. She was so filled with thoughts about how much Logan really did love her that she wasn't thinking about what had happened the night before. Logan placed a tender kiss on the top of her head before he started to caress her back again. Shortly after that, Veronica felt herself finally drifting peacefully off to sleep.