XXXIV.

Katniss's footsteps were light and careful and she stopped on the stairs when she saw him leaning over the table, his back to her, as his fingers worked the dough. She watched him, entranced, remembering how those hands felt on her breasts, his warm breath on her neck as his hands moved down her body, driving her to ecstacy. She bit her lip and went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He jumped as he felt small hands on his chest and his hand covered hers before he turned to face her. She looked perfect in his clothes, he decided. She had rolled up the sleeves several times and left the top few buttons undone. Her hair was dripping and several drops of water ran down her neck. Peeta had the intense urge to lean forward and lick those droplets off. His hands rested on her waist as he pulled her into him.

"How are you feeling," he asked quietly.

"Much better. How about you?"

"I woke up next to the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm doing pretty great." She smiled and shook her head and he shrugged unapologetically.

"Here, have a seat. Lunch is nearly ready." Katniss heard her stomach rumble and he raised a brow as they both laughed.

"How long was I…asleep?" Peeta's smile faded slightly and he lowered his head as he went back to the counter.

"Several days. Haymitch wanted to take you to the hospital but I…I knew you would come out of it on your own. You do things in your own time."She said nothing as she sat and watched him hurry around the kitchen, bringing over a tray of cheesebuns and a bowl of stew.

"I'm not much of a cook," he warned. "But it's got decent flavor. And you have enough cheesebuns to distract you." She grinned as she bit into one, the cheese oozing down her chin. He laughed as he reached out with a napkin, wiping it off. She reached over and squeezed his hand and he brought their hands to rest on his knee underneath the table. They did not let go the whole time they ate lunch. Peeta watched her carefully as she ate and appreciated the color that had returned to her cheeks. When she finished, she pushed her bowl back and leaned back in her chair.

"That stew was delicious. All of it was delicious. Thank you."

"I'm glad you liked it. I think we should go into town and find a doctor, Katniss. Have our little one checked on." She bit her lip.

"I…I know you're right but I just…I don't want to see doctors. I don't want to see anyone."

"Katniss, you can't coop yourself up in the house. It's not good for either of you."

"I went out and I completely collapsed. Seeing all the body carts, seeing all of the homes destroyed, our district turned to dust! I don't want to deal with it yet, Peeta." He sighed and watched her as she lowered her head, her eyes filled with tears. Who was he to say it was time for her to get out and about? He knew it would be hard for both of them. He knew it would take time to heal. Lots of time. Before he could speak, he heard the door open and Haymitch calling his name.

"Kitchen," he called back and Haymitch stopped in the doorway.

"You're awake," he said softly and Peeta could swear his voice was filled with relief and tears.

"Peeta took good care of me," she said, nodding. Haymitch nodded and slumped in a seat across from them.

"Hungry, Haymitch? We have more stew and cheesebuns."

"I'm good, kid." Peeta shook his head and made Haymitch a plate of food, pushing it in front of him.

"Eat. I know you're on a liquid diet but hopefully with me back, you'll both start eating better." Haymitch shot Katniss a look before he dug into the food. Peeta took Katniss's hand again and his thumb rubbed small circles over her knuckles.

"Why is the one who was worse off taking care of us," Haymitch muttered to Katniss. Peeta sucked in a breath but Katniss shook her head.

"We're all pretty bad in our own way. Peeta was just the first to decide to start living again. We should follow his example." Haymitch gave a little "hmm" as he took a swig of water. When the food was cleared, Haymitch leaned back in his chair and belched.

"How ya feeling, sweetheart?"

"Better. She's been really active this morning," she indicated her stomach and Peeta's palm came to rest on her bellybutton.

"You should probably go see a doctor, just to check on everything. And you would have a date when you can expect the baby mockingjay." Peeta shot him a look, not wanting to push Katniss anymore but she nodded, covering Peeta's hand with her own.

"I'll go tomorrow. Will you…will you come with me," she asked shyly, looking into Peeta's eyes. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Of course."

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. I'll tell Sae I saw you both. She's been pretty worried." He clapped Peeta on the shoulder before he took his leave. Peeta turned back to Katniss and saw her gazing down at her own belly.

"You're really going to the doctor? Or did you just tell Haymitch that to appease him?"

"No, you're both right. We should have it checked on and it would be nice to know a due date."

"Her," he said firmly. "Not it. Her."

"Her. What makes you so sure?"

"Because all I can see is a little you. Dark hair in two braids, gray eyes, strong jawline, little nose. Fierce, independent, beautiful, strong, and perfect."

"Oh Peeta," was all she could say, completely overcome by his words. She leaned forward to kiss him and he did not hesitate as he kissed her back. He pulled away and searched her eyes.

"I think you should call Dr. Aurelius."

"Did you tell him?" she asked, her eyes reflecting her worry. He bit his lip.

"I had to, Katniss. I didn't know…I wasn't sure what to do to help you. He'll want to talk to you about it." She nodded and stood.

"I'll go home and call him. Could you come by later for dinner?"

"I'll be there," he said with a kiss. He watched her trudge to the door and across the yard to her own home. He sighed as he closed the door and rested his forehead on the cold wood.

Katniss made her way up the stairs, feeling a sense of loneliness and despair creeping through her. She pushed it away and held her stomach as she pushed the door to the study open. Swallowing, she dialed the doctor's number with numb fingers. He was pleased to hear her voice and asked her how she was doing.

"Some days are harder than others. But now that Peeta has returned to me…I think things will get better."

"You need each other, Katniss. But be prepared for difficult times. He can still have flashbacks and this pregnancy may make you a bit more unstable than usual."

"In other words we're screwed?"

"I didn't say that. I just want you both to be prepared. Are you still hunting regularly?" She told him about her visit to the woods and he fell quiet for a moment.

"Katniss, I want you to do something for me. I notice that your voice seems to change when you speak about the Plant book. It was something you and Peeta worked on together. I suggest you both start a new project together. One that will help you remember your loved ones and the fond memories, rather than the bad ones. You must work on it together though, depend on each other. It will be vital for your communication with each other."

"What did you have in mind?" He quietly told her his idea and her insides churned at the thought but she agreed and he promised to send her the supplies on the next train.

"One more thing, Katniss. Are you planning to live together?" Her heart raced a little.

"We haven't discussed it. I don't know if it's too soon or…" They would have to, when the baby came. Was it too soon now? Would she have to bring it up or would he?

"You two were engaged to be married, is that correct?"

"Sort of. It was part of the act for the Capitol."

"But you mentioned he asked you later, in District 13. Right?" He had. But they had not discussed it since then.

"Do you think it would be wise for me to bring it up?"

"Speaking to you both, I know you cannot survive without one another, Katniss. You need him as much as he needs you. Now my patient confidentiality does limit me a bit but I can ask him about the living situation and the engagement in his next session."

"I guess that's alright. We are going to the doctor tomorrow, to have the baby checked on. I'll tell him to call you afterwards if you like."

"That will be fine. He can tell me any news of the child. I'll ship out the supplies tomorrow. Take care of yourself, Katniss." She said goodbye and hung up. Glancing around the room, she shivered and hurried out and down the hall. But the despair seemed to leak from the walls. She entered her bedroom and found that she couldn't sit still. She hurried back downstairs, pulling on her father's hunting jacket again and draping herself on the couch. It didn't take long for sleep to pull her under and the nightmares plagued her well into the night.

Peeta knocked gently on the door and waited for a moment. He knocked again and listened intently. Hearing no sound within the house, worry started to creep through him as his hand went to the doorknob. It pushed open easily and he peered in.

"Katniss?" Silence greeted him and he shuddered at how desolate the house felt. His heavy foosteps echoed through the kitchen as he walked through the house, searching for her. His eyes fell upon her trembling form as he entered the living room and he rushed to his side, dropping to his knees beside the couch. She whimpered and tossed her head and his fingers smoothed her hair back. Instead of relaxing, she became more frantic and tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Peeta, no! Please! Please, don't!"

"Katniss, sweetheart, I'm right here," he whispered, kissing her forehead. She squeezed her eyes shut and flailed around.

"Peeta! Peeta, I'm coming! Peeta!" He jumped as she let out a scream and he gathered her in his arms as he moved up onto the couch and gently shook her.

"Katniss, open your eyes. Open your eyes and see me." He gently slapped her cheek and her eyes shot open.

"Peeta!" She dove into his arms and he wrapped them around her comfortingly, rocking her back and forth.

"It's ok. We're ok. You're safe, in my arms."

"I tried to get to you…they were torturing you…I heard your screams…you were screaming for me to save you and I c-couldn't…I couldn't get to you…"

"Katniss, it's ok. It was just a dream. I'm safe, I'm right here."

"It wasn't a dream, Peeta. It was real. I let that happen to you! I couldn't save you," she sobbed. His hand went to her hair, playing with the uneven edges.

"You did save me, Katniss," he said quietly, prying her away from him. "Your love saved me. It made me want to keep fighting, fighting to come back to you. And now we're finally safe. So don't keep going to that awful place. Stay here with me." She sniffled and wiped at her face. Peeta's eyes traveled around the room and he noticed the box sitting beside the couch.

"What's all this?" He pulled it up onto the couch next to them and peered inside.

"The things I took with me to District 13. I brought them down here because I can't stand…I can't stand being up there." He nodded in understanding. He felt like he was suffocating in this house. He couldn't explain it but he knew he needed to get her out of there. This place undoubtedly was making her nightmares return. And he could understand why. Prim had lived here with her for awhile. Peeta imagined Katniss saw her everywhere she went. He was grateful that the bakery had burned down completely. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to enter it if it had survived. For the very same reasons. He pushed her hair out of her face and stroked her cheek.

"Katniss, I think you should move in with me." She stopped sniffling and her eyes widened.

"What?" Oh damn. He hoped he hadn't just made a huge mistake by suggesting that. But he wanted to be able to take care of her, keep her healthy and fed, and most of all, keep her happy. He wanted to take care of her during the pregnancy and after. He wanted to make her his wife and raise their baby together. He wanted all of that and a part of him told him that she wanted that too.

"I don't like the feel of this house. It's lonely and…dark. And I don't want to think of you over here, by yourself, screaming in your sleep. I don't want to think about the nightmares getting to you. I want you in my arms, where I can chase them away and hold you until you calm down. I want you to live with me, and I want to turn my lonely house in OUR house."

"Are you…are you sure?"

"Katniss I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you." She leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping her fingers in his hair.

"Then take me home, Peeta."

Peeta helped her pack and took over when it became too much for her. He lead her back downstairs, kissed her, then returned up to her bedroom to finish packing her clothes. He glanced around and searched for other items she would need. When he had finished, he shifted the boxes so that he could see as he made his way down the stairs and he smiled at her as she sat on the couch.

"Let's go home, Katniss." She picked up the box of her belongings and followed him across the yard to his house. He lead her up to his room and set the boxes on the bed, before opening his closet and pushing his clothes to the side. He helped her hang hers up and then set to work on his drawers, clearing out two of them for her to use.

"You can use one of the other bedrooms for whatever you want. You can even sleep in there, if you feel like you need to." She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him and he felt the baby kick against his stomach.

"Why would I sleep in a different room than you? Isn't the point of all this for you to hold me while we sleep?"

"It's so much more than that, Katniss," he said against her lips.

"I know. Can I put some stuff around here?" He nodded and threaded his fingers around her hair.

"Do whatever you want. I'm going to start on dinner. Just please don't paint the room pink or anything." She wrinkled her nose and he chuckled.

"That's my girl." He kissed her nose and left her to unpack the rest of her things. She glanced into the box and pulled out the picture of her parents' wedding and set it on the bedside table, next to another picture. Looking at it again, she realized it was the torn picture of her from his closet and she moved it to the side. She set the blue ribbon and the locket beside the picture frame, then lifted the pearl to her lips. Shoving the rest of the things in the back of the closet, she quckly changed into some of her loose-fitting pants and left his clothes on the back of the chair. Glancing in the mirror, she squeezed her eyes shut at the sight of the fire mutt before she went downstairs to join Peeta.

After dinner, Peeta made hot chocolate for them and sat beside her on the couch.

"I talked to Aurelius today."

"Mmhhm?" he blew over his cup, his brow raised.

"He's assigned us a project."

"What kind of project?"

"We're going to make a memory book." He lowered his cup and glanced sideways at her.

"Like the plant book?" She nodded.

"It's supposed to help us remember our loved ones and the good memories. Not focus on the bad ones. We can put whatever we want in there but we have to work on this together. I was hoping you would do the illustrations, since I can't draw or paint. I think you'd be able to give them life, like I never could."

"I think that's a great idea," he breathed in her ear as he draped an arm around her.

When they finished their chocolate, Peeta took her hand and lead her upstairs. He went into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth and Katniss quickly changed for bed. When he came out, he sucked in a breath at the sight of her in only a large T-shirt that fell just above her knees. She dove under the covers before he could really look at her and he climbed in behind her, sliding his arm underneath her and pulling her into his arms. He reached over her to turn off the light and noticed the objects on the table.

"Is that your mom and dad?"

"Mmhm. Their wedding."

"You look so much like your dad."

"I'm a lot like him. He was the one who taught me how to hunt and fish. He saved me from becoming…one of those girls…you know, who went to the peacekeepers…" His throat tightened at her words and his grip around her tightened as well. The thought of a young Katniss selling herself to a peacekeeper made him want to vomit. He then noticed the pearl and the locket.

"You kept these?"

"Of course. I used to keep that pearl in my pocket and pulled it out everynight, thinking of you. I sort of thought of it as your heart. As long as I held it in my hands, no one would be able to hurt you." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, nuzzling her with his nose.

"I lost my heart to you a long time ago. I'm glad you've continued to hold onto it."

"I'm afraid it wasn't in good hands. I'm sure there was someone else who could have-" but he silenced her with his lips, forbidding her to continue.

"I don't want anyone else. I never have and I never will. Only one girl exists for me. Only one girl will ever hold my heart."

"Where is the rest of this picture," she said, reaching out and picking up the ripped portrait.

"I'm not sure. Dad took it when we returned to 12 and gave it to me. I ripped me out of it and carried you around in my pocket."

"I wish you hadn't. We don't have any pictures of us together," she yawned, setting the picture back down.

"Then I'll buy a camera from town," he whispered, settling behind her and closing his eyes. "And we'll decorate the whole living room with pictures of us. And when the baby comes, she'll decorate all the halls and walls." She smiled in her sleep and dreamed, not of terrors but delicious fantasies with the man who slept beside her.