Yay! I'm so glad you all are just as sappy as me and want to see it all. I will try not to get into too much of the yucky stuff but it might be unavoidable.

Sorry nmcowgirl08, I just don't see Kate as a screamer.

Thank you Elmia, I'm so glad you think I've improved with time. I looked back over TMYFML and am almost embarrassed at how bad my writing was. Now I just need to go back and fix all my typos (that continue into this story I might add), but that would take forever.

I agree with you boreeester; so totally ruined!

There are a couple of very short flashbacks in this one so be mindful of the italics.

I know I've said it before but the sap is flowing extra thick in this one.

I own nothing but the crush; both for Stana and Nathan…

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"Knock-knock"

Both Kate and Rick turned toward the door of her hospital room just as Lanie's knuckles rapped against the metallic frame. Alexis sat in the corner with her ear buds in.

"Hey Lanie," Kate's voice was deep and ragged; exhausted, "come on in." She waved for her friend to cross the threshold. "Maybe now these two will actually listen to me and go get something to eat."

Lanie traversed the room and tugged at Rick's shoulder urging him to his feet. She wrapped him in a quick hug. "Go! Let me and my girl have some time to dish."

She shoved him away from Kate's bedside, but Rick wasn't going easily. He took up residence on Kate's opposite side. It had been a rough couple of hours. Contractions in the car had been pretty hard for Kate to relax through, not to mention the whole checking-in process. Then, once they got settled into the labor and delivery room she had been poked and prodded in so many different ways it made his head spin.

"Are you sure?" He was bent over; whispering in her ear. "I don't really want to leave you."

"I'm good." She gave him a weary smile. "Just don't be gone for too long, okay."

Rick cupped the back of her head and pressed a long kiss to her temple. He needed to breathe her in for just a second; give her some of his strength or maybe take in some hers, he wasn't sure which. Only then was he ready; he snapped upright and clapped his hands together before pulling Alexis up from the chair behind him. "Okay kiddo, let's go get some nourishment. We'll be back in about…" He looked at his watch, oh wait, it was Kate's dad's watch. She'd asked him to wear it after the nurse made her remove it at check in. "…four contractions, five at the most." He winked at his wife.

Kate leveled him with her patented Beckett glare, "Hey, no saying the C-word when I'm not actually having a C-word, remember?"

"Sorry." He looked truly apologetic.

"Castle!" Lanie was now in on the act. "Hit it!"

"Consider it hit," and he was gone.

Kate stared at the door even after Rick had disappeared through it.

"Mmm-mmm-mmm!" Lanie shook her head with each syllable.

"What?

"Is he serious with that getup?"

Kate glanced back to the doorway as if the only way to conjure up his image was by viewing the last place her eyes had seen him. He had dressed pretty casually in anticipation of a long day. He wore her favorite pair of jeans; they hugged his body in all the right ways. There were flip-flops on his feet; the way that man turned her on just by pairing some simple flip-flops with those perfectly fitting jeans. He'd finished off the ensemble with a dark blue tee-shirt… Oh, the tee-shirt? Kate could feel herself sporting the goofiest grin as she recalled the memory of her husband's exiting form. It wasn't a cheek torturing kind of grin; she didn't possess near enough energy for that. No, it was a mouth half open, crooked to one side kind of ridiculous looking grin. The kind of grin that simply said, 'I love that fool.'

"Yeah, he thinks it's funny."

"Seriously, he thinks walking around the maternity ward wearing a shirt that says 'Sperm Donor' is funny?"

Kate laughed; a tired little laugh, "Reads."

"What?"

"A shirt can't say anything. It reads 'Sperm Donor.'"

Lanie stood from the chair and grabbed the chart off the end of Kate's bed. "Have they administered some sort of pain killers or something?"

Suddenly Kate's smile faded, "Oh god, don't I wish."

She threw her head back and closed her eyes as the contraction gained strength. It had taken quite a few of them for Kate to figure out which position felt the best, or hurt the least. She was currently seated almost upright with the mechanical bed practically at a right angle. Under the sheet her legs were spread in front of her but bent at the knees; the bottoms of her feet pressed together. Rick had shoved a pillow up under her sagging belly for added support. The babies had dropped a few weeks earlier, which blessedly allowed for much easier breathing but the trade-off had been an inability to walk upright without having to lean slightly back with a hand pressed against the small of her back.

Thankfully Lanie kept quiet. She almost couldn't stand it if anyone talked while she was in such utter agony. Rick and Alexis had learned that pretty quickly and would just stop whatever conversation they were in the middle of until the pain subsided. Kate was pretty amazed at their ability to just pick it right back up on the other side; amazed and thankful. She really didn't want to be one of those women she read about; the ones that would scream at, or blame their partners for the torture they had to endure.

Kate did her best to breathe through it. It was hard to relax and firmly rub her hard belly; something Rick had been doing for her during every contraction since arriving at the hospital. It was odd; the rubbing did hurt, but like she'd told him at the loft, in a good way. It was like pressing on a bruise or flexing a sore muscle; an exquisite agony. She took in one last long cleansing breath and blew it out all-the-while wondering how she would make it through four more without him?

"You good?"

"For another six minutes or so, yeah."

"So," Lanie sat back down and held her best friend's hand, "how is it, really?"

Kate fought against the twinge of anger; everyone just needed to stop asking her that. Then she saw it in Lanie's eyes. She wasn't patronizing, wasn't asking just to be asking, or even asking as a medical professional. No, Lanie was asking as a woman; a woman who might someday consider going through what Kate herself was going through right now. What she had been going through for the last nine months.

"It's so odd you know?"

"No, I don't' know. I know as a Doctor but that's just so clinical."

Kate squeezed her eyes shut briefly against the onslaught of emotion. "It's the most powerful thing I've ever experienced, Lanie. I'm not talking about the pain, which is just freakishly horrible by the way." She shook her head and laughed. So did Lanie. "My mom, my job, the murderers, the victims…" To her own surprise there were no tears and her voice never faltered. "…none of that even exists right now. My mind is so focused, so one-tracked. I can't even think of anything but these babies," Kate spread her hands on each side of her stomach, "nothing, absolutely nothing matters but them, and Rick and Alexis. I was so scared this morning, but since then something just clicked; it's like I'm on auto-drive."

"Auto-drive?"

"Not auto-drive like a robot; not un-feeling." Kate rubbed her hand down her face; tried to clear her thoughts. "I've always thought I was put on this earth for one purpose; retribution for my mom. All the rest was just..."

"And now?"

"Now? I want to hold these little creatures in my arms so badly. My heart actually aches to know them. What they look like, who they are. I need, actually need to hear them, smell them, nourish them… I could go on and on. I can't explain it but they are my purpose now; my children, my husband, our family. Being here for them, with them…"

"Wow…" Lanie just smiled.

"I know it sounds so…"

"So not Katherine Beckett?" Lanie finished for her.

"Yeah," she whispered; almost with reverence. "Rick said something to me when we first started dating. He said that being a cop is what I do not what I am. It took me until today to know that he was right. What I am is his; his wife, the mother of his children." Kate dropped her face in her hands with a chuckle. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know Girl, but I'm so glad it did." Lanie eased onto the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around Kate's shoulders. "I'm so happy for you."

"Oh, and apparently labor makes me cuss like a sailor." Kate warned as she stiffened, "Shit."

Lanie pulled back and laughed. "Another one?"

Kate nodded, "God Lanie, where's a good sperm donor when you need one?"

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"Okay, looks like you're at about five centimeters and the babies' seem to tolerating the labor beautifully." Dr. Candace helped Kate back to her left side having just checked her cervix for dilatation.

It was around one o'clock and everyone had come and gone at least once already. Well, Esposito had stuck his head in earlier to tell Lanie they needed to get to work. The tough veteran cop practically shook in his boots when confronted with the whole scene. Nonetheless, he promised to come back with Lanie in the afternoon. Ryan and Jenny were next; it was brief since they too were headed off to work, but at least he was much less nervous than his partner had been. In fact, the Detective was actually pretty curious about everything considering Jenny had recently talked him in to trying for a little bundle of their own. Martha stopped in around eleven to take Alexis out for a quick lunch, but only with a promise from that they would text with any and all updates while they were gone. Lastly, Jim Beckett had spent about thirty minutes at his daughter's bedside. Neither could say much; Kate was in too much physical pain, not unlike her father, but his pain was purely emotional.

"This is just too hard for me to watch." The elder man explained to his son-in-law as he turned to leave. "I'll be in the waiting room for as long as it takes."

"Jim," Rick stopped Kate's dad with a hand to the elbow. "She'll be able to talk to you after the epidural. I'll come get you then."

"I'll try, Rick. It's just… there's too much of my Johanna in her today."

"I think it's time to talk about pain relief." The Doctor looked to Rick.

"No," Kate forced out between clenched teeth. "I want to wait a little longer."

"Kate?" Rick pleaded.

She forced herself into a seated position. "Please, just a few more times down the hall and back?"

Rick's heart broke to see her beg. Kate Beckett ordered, demanded, commanded; she never begged. He knew that walking was better for her than sitting. Not that she was in any less pain when she walked, but at least she was doing something. Putting one foot in front of the other was so much better for her than just sitting, laying-in-wait for the next thunderous contraction to tear her in half.

The Doctor looked at the large clock on the wall and then back down at the strip of paper flowing out of the monitoring machine. "Thirty minutes, I'll be back. You can sit on the birthing ball till then, that's it." She reached down and patted Kate's knee through the thin sheet.

Rick sagged with relief; he couldn't bear to have to watch her struggle just to take a single step much less the twenty-eight it took to traverse the hall and back. Still, his fisted heart eased slightly, knowing the Doctor had at least given her something; his Kate deserved everything.

"Here," knowing the drill, Alexis was at his side with the large lavender ball that had been rolled into the corner of the large room.

"Thanks Pumpkin, you've been such a help to me today." He smiled at his daughter.

She was weary too, they all were. He had no idea how Kate was still doing it. Yeah, the chitter-chatter between contractions didn't always include her, but she did manage a weak smile or a quiet chuckle depending on the subject matter. She had walked the length of the hall and back eighteen times; five-hundred-and-four agonizingly slow steps. Each while experiencing so much pressure in the sensitive parts of her body that she actually cried into his chest through most of it; regardless of anyone watching or not.

"Yeah, thanks Sweetie." Kate was trying to climb from the bed on her own.

"Hey, no way." Rick placed Kate's hands on his hunched shoulders and supported her with his hands at her ribcage while he stood erect, pulling her to her feet.

"No way, huh?" She tried to look cross, but again couldn't afford the energy.

"That's right." He couldn't help but kiss her quickly for the effort.

Between the three of them they managed to get Kate situated on the ball with her forearms resting on the lower half of the bed in front of her. Rick had no idea why or how the birthing ball thing helped, or if it did, how someone had even come up with the idea in the first place. He didn't care really; he just knew that, when on the ball, Kate somehow managed to tolerate the contractions instead of just merely enduring them.

"Do you want your iPod, Kate?"

"Yes, please. That would be great, Alexis."

Rick marveled at his amazing daughter as she rifled through Kate's suitcase for the device. She had started out the day pretty nervous. She hadn't known what to say or do; what she could or couldn't touch. Not surprisingly Kate had stepped in to ease the tension.

"Come here Alexis." Kate gestured for their daughter to set next to her. Alexis gingerly climbed in and they sat shoulder-to-shoulder. Kate pressed Alexis' hand into the front of her belly. "Feel that?"

Rick watched his daughter's eyes light up. "What is that?"

"I think that's a butt."

Alexis felt around at the little protrusion. Then Kate once again took the smaller paler hand into her own and lowered it to the underside of her abdomen. Rick cringed a little as together they forcefully squeezed in a very similar fashion as the Doctor had done just a few minutes prior.

"Is that her back?" Alexis was in awe.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, but please don't make me feel her head."

"Dad, you wanna do the honors?" Alexis handed him the iPod. She was now sitting crossed legged on the bed in front of Kate; no longer afraid to be close to the action.

Rick scooted to the edge of his seat. He placed his feet on either side of the ball with his knees and thighs straddling Kate. His job was to massage her lower back or her belly while she rocked slightly. "Any requests?"

"Got anything that says 'I'm so sorry you're in pain with your hu-uge ass hanging out for the world to see?'"

Rick couldn't help but laugh at her. He kissed her shoulder and winked up at Alexis who was rolling her eyes; purely for Kate's benefit he was sure.

"I'm sure it's the next big hit." Alexis deadpanned.

Rick scrolled through the choices. Kate had about a bazillion songs on this thing; he knew he could find something. "Got just the thing…" He waggled his eyelids at Alexis who didn't have time to shake her head disapprovingly before an up-tempo beat filled the room.

I like big butts and I cannot lie

"Dad!" "Castle!" His girls yelled in unison.

"Oops, sorry my thumb slipped." The music stopped abruptly. "Okay, let's try this one."

She's a brick house

"Oh my god, Dad! Are you serious?" Alexis looked at him almost horrified. Kate however, actually laughed. The sound was music to his ears. "That's not funny!" Alexis continued to scold him.

"Yeah, it kinda is." Kate managed to get out before the next contraction took over.

He dropped the iPod on the mattress and waited for her to let him know what to do. When her body rolled back and rested into his he immediately began to caress her front side. He allowed her to dictate the ebb and flow of the ball beneath her body, but was sure to stay completely fused to the length of her in an effort to support as much of her weight as she needed him to. She had told him earlier that the weightlessness of it helped ease the pressure down below.

When the intense pain subsided, Kate grabbed the iPod and handed it back to him. "Please, before the next one hits. Something a little less…"

"Offensive?" Alexis filled in for her.

"Yeah, that."

Kate continued to rock, but didn't lean away from him. Her left cheek rested against his right one. He could feel the brush of her eyelashes as her lids closed. He scrolled the menu one more time. Finally he found it. It began with a soft drum beat. He felt more than heard Kate's inward chuckle.

"It's not red, Castle."

He looked down at the peach nightgown she was wearing. He kissed her on the cheek and spoke just as the music began to play. "Poetic license."

"Oh, you're a poet now, huh?"

"Poetry is, above all, an approach to the truth of feeling." He kissed her cheek again just as the lyrics begin to fill the room. "Dance with me?"

She whispered back, "With only you."

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing

I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away
And I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody here, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be
Well I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never forget the way you look tonight

Alexis watched as her parents got lost in the moment, in each other. Her dad had taught her so many things throughout her life. There were the little things; how to ride a bike, how to tie her shoe, how to read, and how to dress. Then there was the more serious stuff; how to respect others, how to be compassionate, how to put others needs before your own, and even how to love.

But not until this moment; in of all places, a hospital room while listening to one of the cheesiest yet somehow so absolutely appropriate-for-the-moment songs, did Alexis Castle truly learn how she wanted to be loved someday.