The Demon Within
Kagome tried not to fidget when Bokusenou moved his gaze to her, tried not to let her nervousness show. She desired to know what the strange mark on her side meant but also dreaded the knowledge. Whatever it signified, she doubted it was good.
"A mark, you say?" inquired Bokusenou.
She nodded and whispered, "Hai."
"I would need to see this mark. If I may, miko?"
She couldn't help it. She blushed. "Uh…well, it's on my left side…"
If she had been wearing her school uniform or clothes from her time, she would have easily lifted up her shirt and exposed the gray mass; however, she was not. No, she was wearing an expensive, silk kimono, one of many she was previously informed were now hers—not that she planned on keeping them. They were too lavish, and she had no need of them outside of Sesshomaru's home. Also, it didn't feel right to accept such expensive gifts from the daiyoukai. Once she left, though the thought of leaving Sesshomaru oddly upset her, she would not be taking them with her.
Seeing her discomfort, Bokusenou smiled kindly. "I know it is unseemly to bare so much flesh here, out in the open, and before a stranger, but to accurately answer your question, I will have to see it. Forgive my forwardness, miko. I mean no disrespect."
"No offense taken," Kagome quickly assured the tree demon, waving her hands in front of her.
"Might I make a suggestion, miko?" Sesshomaru proposed.
Looking over at him, Kagome gazed up at him inquisitively.
"Remove your outer kimono—Bokusenou can hold onto it—and I shall cut away at the second layer of clothing where the mark lies."
"But that'll ruin it," Kagome protested, aghast at the thought of ripping such expensive clothing.
"This Sesshomaru will replace it," the inu lord replied, unconcerned.
"That's not the point," she muttered, well aware of his wealth, however, still hating the thought of tearing such an expensive garment.
"Do you have a better idea?" inquired Sesshomaru, not unkindly.
She considered it a moment before replying, "No, I guess not." She sighed. "Alright, let's do it."
Without being asked, Sesshomaru stepped behind her and gave a few gentle tugs to untie her obi. When the long cloth fell from her waist, one of Bokusenou's branches moved closer, silently allowing Sesshomaru to drape the colorful fabric over it.
Kagome took over undressing herself, parting the folds of her kimono, and allowing it to fall off her shoulders, where she then placed it over a second branch Bokusenou held out to her. Sesshomaru placed his hands on her shoulders—careful of her still sore left shoulder—and gently turned her to face him.
Their eyes met, amber locked onto chocolate brown. A weighted moment seemed to pass between them, physical awareness, and something more.
Kagome's breath caught, her heart skipping a beat.
The moment was broken when Sesshomaru disconnected their eye contact, lowering his gaze and his claws to her left side. The silk fabric was no match for his claws as he easily shredded the cloth a few inches from her breast and down to her hip, leaving a gaping hole that bared her flesh and the mark.
"Come, miko. Sit upon my branches so that I may have a better look at this mysterious mark," Bokusenou instructed while lowering a thicker branch behind her.
Again Sesshomaru assisted without being asked. He moved in front of Kagome, grasped her around her waist and gently lifted her until her rump rested on the branch. She thanked him before he stepped back and positioned himself at her side as Bokusenou lifted her closer to his wizened face.
Kagome had her hands clenched tightly around the branch, the bark digging painfully into her palms, as she nervously watched the tree demon peruse her exposed skin.
"Hmm…" Bokusenou rumbled, eyes trained on the gray mass.
"What do you think it is, Bokusenou?" Kagome asked in a low voice, not wishing to break his concentration if he was still thinking, contemplating the possibilities.
"Though I am no expert concerning the Jewel of Four Souls nor the strange phenomenon of a human possessing both miko and youkai energy, I believe the mark signifies the youki, leaked from the Jewel, is corrupting your body, miko."
Kagome gasped, her worst fears being confirmed; however, there was still so much she did not understand. Her body growing numb from shock, she asked, "What do you mean by corrupt?"
Bokusenou met her gaze before lowering her back to the ground, where Sesshomaru assisted her back to her feet and proceeded to help her dress. Almost on autopilot, Kagome went through the motions of putting her arms into the billowy sleeves, positioning the kimono folds correctly across her body, while Sesshomaru moved behind her to rewrap and tie her obi for her.
While she was redressing, Bokusenou elaborated.
"The darkness within you has been awakened and is attempting to change you."
"But how is that possible? I'm human!" cried Kagome.
"It is not impossible for a human to obtain demonic powers, to even change into a demon, or rather, a hanyou. Naraku being a perfect example," he reminded her.
Kagome paused, knowing he was right. Naraku was not the only human she had come across over the years to turn into a demon. Sara, the sick and dying hime who had fallen in love with Sesshomaru a few years ago was another example.
She shook her head fiercely while Sesshomaru was tying her obi. "But I'm a miko. That can't possibly happen to me." Then a horrific thought infiltrated her mind. "But it might turn me into a dark miko. Is that what will happen?"
Bokusenou gave her a sympathetic look. "I fear that is not the case in this instance. You are correct in assuming a priestess should be unable to change into a youkai as her reiki—especially with how strong yours seems to be—would purify the demonic aura. However, you stand before me now without your reiki attacking the youki within you."
"Well, no, but my powers have been at war previously!" she contradicted.
"I assume, at such instances, you were attempting to use your growing youki?"
Kagome nodded, hardly noticing when Sesshomaru finished tying her obi and moved to stand at her left once more.
"It is only when you use your youki that your reiki becomes aware of the demonic presence and attempts to purify it. When it is not in active use, the youki becomes undetectable by your reiki. I believe it is safe to assume that the Jewel's demonic energy has fused with your body, a part of you since birth. You cannot purify a part of yourself, miko Kagome."
So far, Sesshomaru had remained silent, allowing the miko to question Bokusenou, content to play the part of observer temporarily. Though he knew this news was not what Kagome wished to hear, he on the other hand was pleased. He admitted silently to himself that he had been worried, upon occasion, that her reiki would eventually eradicate the demonic aura inside her. If that happened, she was lost to him. To be told that would not be the case filled his heart with relief.
"What am I supposed to do? What will happen to me?" whispered Kagome, fear taking ahold of her heart in a powerful vice-like grip.
"I noticed the mark is traveling upwards instead of down or to either side," intoned Bokusenou.
Kagome didn't answer, couldn't as she stared up at the tree demon dully.
Continuing, he said, "The mark signifies your youki aura is traveling towards your heart. There, I assume, it will take firm root, and the battle for your soul will commence."
Sesshomaru frowned, not liking the dire sound of Bokusenou's words. "Explain."
"Upon reaching your heart—I have no doubt that outcome is inescapable at this point—the demonic energy will attempt to change you," he said, speaking directly to Kagome. "It will try to transform your human body into that of a youkai, not just a hanyou, but a full-fledged demon."
"The transformation is inevitable?" asked Kagome, emotions clogging her throat.
Hearing her distress, Sesshomaru moved closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her gently, but firmly into his armored side. She did not fight him but fell against him, her right hand coming across her body to rest her palm against his abdomen.
"I do not know," Bokusenou replied, a worried expression clear to see on his face. "You reiki is powerful, stronger than many miko walking this land now and before you. What I do know is that once it reaches your heart, a war between your auras will commence. Depending on how strong your youki is, your reiki may not be powerful enough to combat it. You human body is weak, most likely unable to withstand the strain. It could tear you apart."
Both Sesshomaru and Kagome froze at this news.
A few, silent seconds later, Kagome whispered, "I'm going to die?"
Sesshomaru tightened his arm around her, his claws digging into her hip at Bokusenou's words. Denial seethed through his mind. He would not lose her! Kagome barely felt the pain as the ramifications of what she had allowed Sesshomaru to do, to strengthen the demonic aura within her, sank in.
Sesshomaru wondered the same thing. Have I doomed her to death?
"Perhaps not necessarily," Bokusenou murmured.
Both Sesshomaru and Kagome regarded him intently at this, waiting for him to continue.
"The youki is now a part of you, has always been to some extent in its dormant state. Though your human body may be torn asunder from the warring auras, if assisted by a powerful demon, he or she could feed you youki and force your reiki to submit and accept the change. However, since your reiki is also a part of you, though transformed into a demon, you may still retain your miko powers."
"I won't die?" breathed Kagome, at the moment ignoring the fact that she would be forced to transform. Relief that she was not going to die was too strong to worry about anything else at present.
Sesshomaru almost breathed a sigh of relief at this added information, his grip on her loosening when he realized he held her too fiercely. He could smell a hint of Kagome's blood, knew his claws had broken skin and was sorry for inflicting injury upon her even unknowingly.
"Wait," Kagome said when a thought popped into her mind. "If a demon could strengthen my youki to force such an outcome, what if another miko strengthened my reiki instead? Then I wouldn't have to transform, right?" she asked hopefully.
She did not wish to become a demon. The thought was terrifying. She was not like Inuyasha or Naraku who wished to change themselves. She was happy with who she was. She didn't know the first thing about being a demon, and she recalled how scared she had been when her youki had swelled inside her when she was with Sesshomaru in his private dojo.
It had been a fierce, animalistic thing inside her, untamed and uncontrollable. It was nothing like her reiki! Though her miko powers could be strong and used to be uncontrollable to her—being a novice as she had been in the past—it had not felt so…vile, evil. Her youki had felt like an animal living inside her. There was no way she could control the beast within her!
Sesshomaru almost frowned but caught himself in time. He was not pleased that Kagome still tried to fight against all his efforts at securing her as his. He was being selfish, he knew, but it was for a better future. He knew he could make her happy. He just needed the chance to prove it to her, and the only way he could was if she transformed into a demon.
Bokusenou shook his head at Kagome's question. "You forget. Your human body cannot take the strain even with help from any number of monks and miko. You will die if you do not become a demon, Kagome." He spoke kindly to her, trying to gentle the impact of his words, but the blow from his answer knocked the air from her lungs regardless.
Kagome made a chocked sound, close to tears. She was frightened, so deathly afraid of the youki inside her. She didn't understand it, felt threatened by it, and here she was, being told that she had little choice but to accept it as part of her life, to transform into a demon.
Gazing down at her with a sad expression, far from unsympathetic at her plight, towards the turmoil she felt, Bokusenou lifted a thin branch to her face, a few green leaves tickling her check as he caressed her in a consoling manner.
A tear fell on a small leaf.
"Would it be so terrible to live as a demon, Kagome? You will have Sesshomaru-sama here to guide you through the transition and teach you how to function in your new life."
Kagome couldn't answer, sniffling, but she heard his words.
Then Bokusenou voiced the question that plagued Sesshomaru's mind.
"Do you despise youkai, miko?" he asked not unkindly, using the same branch to brush her hair from her face and behind her ear.
Kagome blinked her tear glazed eyes up at Bokusenou, dismayed at the conclusion the tree demon had come to.
"No, oh no, that's not it!" she denied venomously. "It has never mattered to me if someone is human, demon, or half-demon. It's just…I'm afraid."
Her voice wobbled as she spoke the last two words.
Sesshomaru would never admit that Kagome's adamant refusal to become a demon caused him to fear that she harbored ill feelings towards his kind even though her actions, her easy friendships and camaraderie with beings not her species, said otherwise. Her words eased his fears, but now he felt remorse at her true terror in becoming something she was not born to. He could understand her fear, but he would make sure she would never be alone through this trying time. Not ever, in fact.
Thinking it was best they left, needing to comfort his distraught female alone, Sesshomaru spoke to Bokusenou. "Thank you for your council, Bokusenou. The miko and I must depart."
Nodding his head in a small bow of respect, Sesshomaru picked Kagome up in his arms once more, relieved she did not fight him and turned to leave.
"You are most welcome, Sesshomaru. Good day and to you, too, miko Kagome."
Sesshomaru was already walking away, but both he and Kagome heard the tree demon's parting words. Within seconds, Sesshomaru was racing away with the most precious person in his arms.