Chapter 36 Notes: This chapter is the fallout from Jeremy's baseball injury. I tried to get this up as quickly as possible for those who were worried about his eye. Thanks for all the comments and feedback from the last chapter!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls
Jeremy felt like a firework had gone off in his head. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt physical pain this intense. Maybe never. He hunched protectively forward, covering his face with his hands, obeying the deeply rooted self-preservation instinct to fold in on himself when hurt, hide himself from the world, make himself less vulnerable. He heard rustling in the grass, felt movement in front of him, a hand gentle on his head, then Jess speaking in a tone Jeremy could tell was intended to be soothing, but instead sounded urgent, bordering on panic. "Let me see, Jeremy! Let me see!" Then, Jess's hands were gently prying Jeremy's own from his face. Jeremy heard another voice. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, is he ok? I can't believe that just happened." Jeremy allowed his hands to be pulled down, each of his hands being held in one of Jess's now, Jess being gentle with him even as he snarled at Kirk. "Back the fuck off, Kirk!" Jeremy heard a soft oinking noise circling around them. "I mean it, Kirk. Get out of my face!" Then gently, to him. "Look at me, Jeremy. Let me see your eye." Jeremy did as he was told, tears still streaming from his eyes and down his face, everything a blur of tears and pain. Jeremy wasn't sure he could see out of his left eye, and he started to panic. He saw Jess's expression, nervous and scared, but not pulling back in disgust, and it reassured him that his eye was still where it was supposed to be, and not grotesquely damaged. Jeremy felt Jess gently cup a palm over his right eye. "Jeremy, how many fingers am I holding up?" Jeremy didn't know. He could see out of his left eye, but everything was blurry. He could see the outline of a second Jess slightly off center of the real one. "I don't know! I can't tell!" He could feel himself panicking now. "It's too blurry, Jess!" Then Kirk again. "You should get him to a hospital, Jess. It could be serious. My brother Mick got hit in the head with a ball when we were kids and he hasn't been right since." And, Jess removing his hand from Jeremy's right eye as he spit through clenched teeth. "Back off, Kirk. I'm not going to tell you again!" Jeremy heard Luke's voice, saying something to Kirk that ended with, 'under control.' He heard footsteps receding, taking the oinking along with them. Then Luke was crouching in front of him next to Jess, his voice steady and calm in contrast to Jess's, or Jeremy's own. "All right, let's get you to a hospital, nephew. Jess, I'll drive you guys. I'm parked right here. Let's get him to the truck." Jeremy allowed himself to be helped up by hands on either side of him. He didn't realize how queasy he felt until he started to move. Luke's truck was parked at the town square and soon Jeremy was belted into the middle seat, between Luke and Jess, on the way to the emergency room. Jeremy tried to tamp down his panic. Jess was rubbing the back of Jeremy's neck, repeating some variation of the same two phrases over and over like a mantra. "I'm so sorry. Everything is going to be ok."
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By the time the doctor came back in with the x-ray, Jess was feeling significantly calmer about the situation. When they had first been brought in, the doctor had done a clinical exam and declared the eye itself undamaged. The blurred and double vision that had been present immediately after impact was lessening, which she explained was typical following what she suspected to be a simple orbital blowout fracture. Jeremy's face was bruised and puffy, and the white of his eye was a freakish looking red, but the doctor had said that was normal, too. She needed to take an x-ray to confirm her diagnosis, but she had believed the fracture had occured at the delicate bones of the orbital floor, leaving the rim intact, an injury that would heal on its own, without any permanent damage. She had given Jeremy an injection of something that she said would help with the pain and also calm him down, and they had spent the last thirty minutes waiting, with Jess perched on the side of the small cot Jeremy was lying on, petting his son's head and carding his hand through the boy's hair, Luke sitting in the plastic chair by the bed that one of the nurses had brought over. Jess looked down at his son, who did seem much calmer and less hurt now, as if he could fall asleep at any moment.
Jess stood to greet the returning doctor, and listened as she showed them the x-ray on her ipad, and pointed out the fracture, confirming her earlier diagnosis. She talked about prescribing a nasal decongestant to help drain any blood or other fluids that had made its way into the sinuses, and an antibiotic to prevent infection. The decongestant would also help Jeremy avoid blowing his nose or sneezing, the pressure from which could result in further damage. Jess heard Jeremy slowly sitting up in bed, and felt the boy's arms snake around his waist where he stood next to the bed. Jess looked down in concern at his son, who dropped the undamaged side of his head against Jess's chest while he leaned unsteadily into Jess, still hugging his middle. Jess took a step toward the bed to minimize Jeremy's leaning and raised a hand to rest on the boy's head. The doctor continued on about how strenuous activity should be avoided for the time being and anything that could cause a reinjury, such as baseball or basketball or anything else that could result in a blow to the face, should be avoided for a few weeks while the bone was still healing.
"But, Jess! But, Jess!" Jess looked down at his son, who was whispering urgently as he pulled on Jess's shirt with one hand, his arms still wrapped around Jess. "But, I play on the baseball team. I have to play second base. Tell her, Jess. Tell her!"
Jess looked back up at the doctor, unsure whether he should be worried or embarrassed, to see her smiling kindly at Jeremy. "It looks like someone's feeling a little loopy from his pain meds."
"Is this normal?" Jess looked back down at his son, who now had his eyes closed as he rested against Jess.
The doctor smiled and took her pad out of her pocket. "It happens. Everyone reacts a little differently to each painkiller." She ripped out two pages and handed them to Jess. "Here is the antibiotic and the decongestant." She flipped the third page out of her way and started writing on a fresh sheet. "But, I'm going to give you a prescription for something different for the pain killer. If he reacts like this to what he's on now, he is likely to be good with this one." She ripped the page out and handed that one to Jess, too.
"Thanks. So, will he be able to go back to baseball before the season's over? It's his senior year."
"There's what, a month and a half left of the school year at this point?" The doctor asked.
"Almost two months." Jess corrected.
"It's going to take a couple of weeks until the bruising and swelling are gone. But, that won't mean that the bone has healed. I would say he should avoid sports for the next month or so, at least, and if he was my kid, I'd have him sit out the rest of the season."
"Jess! Hey, Jess!" Jeremy was looking up at him, pulling on him again, like a little kid. "Don't you think she's kind of mean? I think she's kind of mean."
Jess heard Luke laughing behind him, and he turned back to the doctor sheepishly. "I'm sorry about those two. At least my kid has an excuse."
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"Jeremy, stop squirming around. Be careful of your eye." They were back in the truck. Jeremy was still pretty loopy and Jess was trying to get him to settle down for the ride home, but the kid was fidgeting around like he had ants in his pants.
"Sorry, Dad. Sorry." Jeremy stopped moving and rested the right side of his face on Jess's shoulder, burrowing slightly into Jess's side.
"That's better." Jess wrapped his arm around his son's shoulders. Now that the worry was over, Jess was finding Jeremy's tactile and affectionate behavior endearing. He liked the idea of the boy reacting to substances by being clingy and cuddly and somehow linked it in his head to low odds of Jeremy being a bad drunk later in life.
Jeremy lifted his head, scooted a few inches away from Jess and put his head back down on Jess's shoulder. "Jess, have you ever noticed that you're kind of short?"
Luke barked out a laugh, and Jess shot him a look. "You're seriously going to encourage this?"
"You're seriously going to take offense?" Luke countered. "The kid's completely out of it." Luke chuckled. "And, it's not like you've never noticed you're short."
Jeremy giggled. "Dad, Uncle Luke just called you short! Did you hear him? That wasn't very nice!"
"I heard." Jess reached up and petted his son's head as it rested against his shoulder. "You doing ok, kid?"
"I'm doing great! I was thinking, that like, overall, Uncle Luke is better at playing catch than you are, Dad. But only because when I play with him, the ball goes in my glove instead of hitting me in my face, and I enjoy that more, catching with my glove, not with my face."
"I'm not going to argue with you there." Jess said. "I enjoy it more when the ball doesn't hit you in the face, too."
"I don't know. I think you guys looked pretty good out there, until Kirk's pig got in the way." Luke said.
"Kirk's pig." Jeremy repeated as he huffed out a goofy laugh. "That's so funny that he has a pig." Jeremy closed his eyes as he leaned on Jess. "I love you guys."
"I love you, too, nephew." Luke smiled as he turned the car out of the hospital parking lot.
"Me, too. I love you, too, kid." Jess turned and dropped a kiss on Jeremy's head, as he smoothed down the boy's hair with one hand.
"Jess, wasn't it the best day when we came to live in Stars Hollow?"
Jess huffed out a laugh. "It was a pretty good day. It hasn't been too bad here. It certainly beats that motel we were staying at in Philly." Jess reflected on how drastically their lives had changed with the move, how they had gone from poverty, social isolation and near homelessness in Philadelphia to being employed, surrounded by family, and living in a safe and rent-free apartment in Stars Hollow. And being a forever family.
"If we hadn't come to live here, we would miss Luke, wouldn't we?"
Jess tried not to laugh at his doped up, but earnest son. "Yeah, we'd miss Luke. He's not too terrible. He can even be pretty useful sometimes. Like tonight."
Luke chuckled. "Gee, thanks, nephew."
"And, Uncle Luke, you would miss us too, right?" Jeremy's head still lay on Jess's shoulder as he spoke. His kept his eyes open as he spoke and closed them as he waited for a response, as if he thought the motion was somehow connected to his ability to hear.
"Yes, I love having you guys here, and I would definitely miss you both if you weren't around."
"Stars Hollow is my favorite place that I have ever lived in my life. Did you know that, Jess?" Jeremy started to lift his head to make eye contact with Jess, then paused, seeming to think better of the movement and dropped his head back onto Jess's shoulder.
"I feel that you may have alluded to that fact at some point."
"That's why I am never leaving here. Ever. And, also, because my family is here."
Luke shot a glance Jess's way and met his eye briefly over Jeremy's head. "Ok, kid." Jess said. "You can be a Stars Hollow lifer. You'll have good company. You can hang out with Luke and Lorelai and your grandparents. And, the more time that passes, the more it looks like your cousin Rory will be in that boat, too." Jess caught Luke's eye again and smirked at the annoyed look Luke was giving him for his comments about Rory.
"And, you too, Jess. You stay, too. Because if you leave, everything will be ruined anyway."
"All right, kid." Jess patted the boy's leg. "How about we revisit this plan when you're not high off your ass? Does that sound ok?"
Jeremy giggled, then whispered. "I'm not high, Jess. Don't say that in front of Luke."
Jess laughed out loud at that. "So, I can see you high, but you don't want Luke to know you're high? What's that about?"
Jeremy whispered again. "I like it when Luke thinks I'm well-behaved."
Jess glanced at his uncle, who was trying to hold in his laughter as he drove. "Ok, it's our little secret that you're high, then."
"Ok. Thank you. And, one more thing, Dad."
"Yes, Jeremy?"
"The doctor was pretty, right?" Jeremy asked innocently.
"Sure. She was pretty."
"And, she was nice except for when she was being mean about the stuff about baseball, right?"
"Yeah, sure. She seemed nice."
"And, if she's a doctor, she's probably pretty smart, right?"
"She probably is. Hey, Jeremy?"
"Hey, Jess!"
Jess smiled. "How is your eye feeling?" Jess had an idea of where this conversation was going and wanted to head it off at the pass.
"Right now, it's A-OK, Jess! Thanks for asking!" Jeremy answered enthusiastically, and Jess wished he had some of what Jeremy was on. "But, what I was going to say was that maybe you should ask doctor…..doctor…..."
"Lipinski." Luke supplied helpfully.
"Yeah, doctor…..her. Maybe you should ask her on a date!"
Jess heard Luke laughing and he set his eyes straight ahead on the front windshield to avoid eye contact with his uncle. "You in the market for a girlfriend, nephew?"
"He is!" Jeremy answered for him. "And, if he asks out the pretty doctor, he doesn't need to ask Ms. Howard out, which would be good because she's my guidance counselor, which is kind of a little weird." Having made his point, Jeremy closed his eyes and rested against Jess.
Jess could feel Luke looking over at him, but he kept his eyes on the road as intently as if he were the one driving. He listened to Jeremy snoring softly on his shoulder.
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"You really don't have to go to school today if you don't want to." Jess was sitting on the edge of Jeremy's bed, the three pills Jeremy had been prescribed the night before in his open palm, and a glass of water in his other hand. After getting Jeremy upstairs and settled into bed and asking Luke to stay with him in case he needed anything, Jess had headed off to the 24-hour pharmacy in Woodbury to get the prescriptions filled, and he had met Jeremy with them bedside first thing in the morning because he hadn't wanted the kid to be awake and un-medicated for a minute longer than he had to be.
Jeremy was sitting up against the headboard. He swallowed one pill, the painkiller, and followed it with a swig of water. "Thanks, but I'm ok. And, I have a history test that I'd rather not miss and have to make up." Jess's expression grew stern as he leveled his best don't-bullshit-me look at his son. "Honestly, it hurts, but I actually feel much better than I look."
Jess sighed, not entirely convinced. "Well, that's a relief 'cause you look like shit." The kid did look terrible. The area around his left eye was a dark purple, almost black, the skin swollen and stretched tight. The white of his eye was still discolored, though not as red as it had been the previous night. It had settled into a lighter pink, but it still looked unnatural and kind of creepy.
"Aww, thanks, Dad." Jeremy feigned being flattered and it occurred to Jess that maybe he was rubbing off on the boy too much. "I think you're pretty, too. It must run in the family." Jess laughed as he watched Jeremy move on to the second pill.
"But, seriously, Jeremy. If your eye hurts at any point during the day. If you get tired from the pain medication. If the blurred vision comes back. If you feel nauseous. If anything happens at all and you want to come home, you can. You can call me to come get you, anytime, you know that right."
"I could. Or, I could, I don't know, walk the fifty feet across the street from school to the apartment and come home by myself."
"You're getting awfully sarcastic." Jess kept his voice light and playful. "I'm thinking maybe I don't smack you around enough. What do you think?"
Jeremy laughed, then winced slightly at the discomfort of moving his cheek. "Sorry, but I'm just saying. I'm pretty sure I could make it home from school on my own."
"I'm sure you could, but if you're feeling bad enough to come home, I don't want you to be alone. Ok?"
Jeremy sighed as he picked up his third pill. "You have your thing tonight. I don't want to bother you. If I need to come home, I'll come home by myself and hang out in the diner with Luke, ok?"
"Jeremy, you're my kid. You're never bothering me."
Jeremy started to roll his eyes, then stopped abruptly, his expression tight with pain.
"Are you ok?" Jess leaned forward, concerned, lifting one hand to the unhurt side of Jeremy's head, shifting his hair off his forehead.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Looking up still hurts."
"Hmmm….I guess that's the universe telling you not to roll your eyes at your dad like a little punk." He knew he needed to trust Jeremy to make this decision on his own, but he didn't like this. He liked the idea of Jeremy staying home and resting, lying on the couch watching television with Winston, while Luke came upstairs to bring him cinnamon toast and check on him.
Jeremy chased his last pill with more water and smiled at Jess. "Yeah, that must be it."
Jess sighed. "I'm really sorry this happened, Jeremy."
"I know. I kind of figured that out from how many times you've already apologized in the five minutes since you walked in here." He looked at Jess with a serious expression. "It's not your fault. It could have happened if I was playing with Luke, or at practice. Although, I guess there aren't usually pigs on the field during practice."
"No pigs on the field? Looks like Coach Forrester does know what he's doing!" Jess smiled, before his expression turned serious. "I just love you and hate seeing you hurt."
Jeremy smiled. "I know. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. If this had happened to me a year ago. I would still be in pain, but I wouldn't have a parent to love me and take care of me."
Jess felt Jeremy's words hitting somewhere deep in his chest. "I'm going to be gentle, so I don't hurt you, but I really need to hug you right now if that's ok."
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By the end of the day, everyone had seen Jeremy's face. He had enough classes with guys from his team and had repeated his story so many times that he knew someone would be able to fill Coach Forrester in on why he wasn't at practice, but he liked his coach and he felt like he owed it to him to tell him himself that his season was over. He didn't usually run into Coach Forrester during his school day, and he didn't feel like going all the way over to the fields at the park to talk to him there, so he waited by the coach's car in the faculty parking lot after the final bell.
"Hey, Jeremy!" Coach Forrester walked up to the car already dressed in sweats for the field, a briefcase and a gym bag in his hands, and his usual affable grin on his face. The way Jeremy saw it, there was no reason for anyone to not like Coach Forrester or Jess. He figured one of them had to have changed tremendously since high school, and he briefly wondered which of them had been a dick when they were his age.
Jeremy turned toward his coach, and the man's happy expression shifted to one of empathy and concern as he got a look at Jeremy's black eye. "Oh, wow! I heard you had a shiner, but that looks really awful! What happened?"
Something about the man's sincerity always struck Jeremy, and he found himself being more open, instead of downplaying the injury as he had to his classmates and teammates throughout the day. "I got hit in the face. One of the bones around my eye is fractured. I can't play baseball for the rest of the season." The reality of that loss hit Jeremy then. The previous night he had been panicked about his vision being impaired, then after the hospital, he had been too high to care about baseball, but he realized now that he would miss it. Between Jess and the rest of his forever family and moving to Stars Hollow, this year had been his best ever, and playing baseball, having family to come watch his games had been the cherry on top.
"Who hit you, Jeremy?" Coach Forrester had genuine concern written all over his face.
"It was a what, not a who." Jeremy realized how what he said must have sounded. "A baseball hit me. I was playing catch with my dad."
"How did it get you like that? You have such good reflexes. He throw it when you weren't looking or something?"
"Uh, not really. I was looking, but then Kirk yelled and distracted me, and Petal, Kirk's pig, ran at me and hit me in the leg, kind of in the back of the knee I guess, and knocked me off balance, and I stumbled, and the ball was coming at me and I couldn't get my glove up in time."
"Ah, I see." Coach Forrester leaned against in car, in no rush. Jeremy had always liked that about him, that he really engaged in the conversation when he spoke to one of his students or players. "The 'ol pig to the knee injury. I've seen this happen time and time again. When will people start respecting the pig leash laws in this country?"
Jeremy smiled and shrugged. "I know it sounds ridiculous."
"It sounds like something that could only happen in Stars Hollow. And, that would have to involve Kirk." Coach Forrester returned the smile. "Even if you can't play, you're welcome to sit in on practices and be with the team in the dugout during games if you want."
Jeremy appreciated the offer, but he didn't want to waste the time on baseball if he could no longer play. Maybe he could still get Luke to come watch some games with him, but he hadn't become close enough to the other players on the team in the short time he had played for Stars Hollow to want to stay on the team for the sake of camaraderie if he couldn't play. "Thank you. I appreciate that." Jeremy shoved his hands into the pockets of his light hoodie. "But, if I can't play, I should probably spend that time working so I can make money for college and everything. I maybe should have been doing that to begin with. College is….crazy expensive."
Coach Forrester nodded. "That it is. I have four kids to put through, and I feel like I just finished paying for my own education. My oldest is only six, but I'm already stressed about it. So, how are things going? Have you been accepted to any schools yet?"
Jeremy could feel his expression shifting at the question, his eyes dropping to the ground and a small frown forming on his face. "Yeah, a few."
"That's great, Jeremy! Which ones?"
"State schools in Pennsylvania. Abington, University Park, and Scranton."
"No, way!" The man's face lit up. "I just moved back here from Scranton. I got my undergraduate degree at Penn State Scranton. It's a great school!"
Jeremy smiled slightly at the man's infectious enthusiasm. "Yeah? That's really cool."
"So, which one are you leaning toward?"
Jeremy's smile faded again. He could feel his eyes starting to well up and willed the tears back, wiping quickly at the eye that wasn't black and blue, but too scared to touch the other one. He seemed to have less control than usual over his emotions today and he wasn't sure if that was attributable to the medication he was on, or if it was just a rough day. "I don't know. They all feel so far away, and they're really expensive. I'm not sure I want to go to any of the schools I applied to-"
"Coach, Coach!" Sammy Tavares ran up, carrying a gym bag and panting lightly as soon as he stopped moving. "Can I ride with you to practice? I missed the bus because Ms. Kendall wanted to talk to me after class."
"Sure, Sammy. It's unlocked. Get in the car and give us a minute, ok?"
"Yeah, thanks, Coach." The boy locked eyes with Jeremy as he turned to walk around the car to the passenger seat. "Wow! I heard about your eye, but jeez, that looks terrible! Tough break, Mariano. We'll miss you at second base."
Jeremy mumbled out a yeah, thanks, but the other boy was already getting into Coach Forrester's car. It was a true statement. The team sucked and they would miss him at second base, but no one was likely to actually miss him as a person. He hadn't been around long enough or gotten to know anyone well enough. Jeremy started to turn to leave, feeling a little down and not wanting to keep them from practice.
"Jeremy, hold up. I want you to know that if you ever need to talk, or want to talk, about college or Scranton or stuff at home, or anything, you can come talk to me. Even though you're not on the team anymore. I'm still around, and I'm a good listener. Ok?"
Jeremy nodded. "Ok. Thanks. Have a good practice."
Coach Forrester smiled. "You take care of yourself, Jeremy."
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What surprised Jess wasn't that Taylor was the first person to arrive, by a good hour and a half, but the large wooden platform that was being maneuvered through the door behind him. Jess came out from behind the counter as Taylor backed into the store, loudly directing Kirk and Joe who were lugging in the platform. Jess knew he needed to establish some kind of control early on, before Taylor took it upon himself to run the whole evening. "Taylor, hi! Thanks for coming." Jess forced himself to greet the man enthusiastically. "And, what exactly do we have here?"
Taylor turned to Jess. "Hello, Jess." Taylor reached out to shake Jess's hand. "Thanks so much for having me. Self-promotion really isn't in my nature, but I see this evening as an opportunity to educate, rather than market my book. As I'm sure you noticed when you read it, my book contains valuable lessons for each and every reader, and I would feel remiss as a town leader to not share those lessons with as many of my fellow citizens as possible."
"I understand. And, we appreciate having you join us tonight. And, it looks like you brought your own…..stage?"
"Oh, yes, of course!" Taylor turned toward Kirk and Joe. "All right, gentlemen, you may set it down right over here." He gestured to the open area in the front of the store that Jess had carefully cleared out for the event. He turned back to Jess. "I never do speaking engagements without my own staging. I find that people listen more attentively when a speaker gives off an air of authority, and nothing says authority like being a foot and a half higher than everyone else."
"Uh, ok, then."
"And, I'm fine with your other speakers using it as well, as long as there is no tap-dancing." Taylor smiled and clapped Jess on the arm before his attention was pulled back to the stage by a loud thud. "Careful, gentlemen! That's an antique! That staging has been in the Doose family for generations!"
For the next few minutes, Jess watched Taylor move from spot to spot on the stage, repeating the opening line of his reading and checking for the best acoustics. Jess thought about how much he had been hoping to see Mallory tonight, then reflected on the night before, Jeremy flying on painkillers in Luke's truck and trying to steer him away from an interest in Mallory by distracting him with the pretty doctor, as Jeremy had put it. His son had been high, sure, but he had openly and honestly told him his thoughts on his father dating his guidance counselor. Jess wondered how much of a dick he would be if he still pursued something with Mallory after Jeremy graduated. He didn't know if there was a point in worrying about Jeremy's concerns regarding him and Mallory at this point, before he even knew if there could ever be a him and Mallory. He had to wait until Jeremy graduated, either way. Mallory could easily have moved on by then.
Kirk approached Jess tentatively. "Hi, Jess." Kirk's expression was even sadder and more pathetic than usual. "How is Jeremy doing?"
Jess smiled. "He's doing ok. He's a pretty resilient kid. One of the bones around his eye was fractured, but the doctor said everything should heal on its own without any permanent damage."
The frown on Kirk's face faded slightly at the news. "That's good, Jess. I'm glad to hear that. I feel awful about what happened last night. So does Petal. She couldn't even eat her dinner last night because she felt so badly."
"How do you think I feel?" Jess asked. "I'm the one who threw the ball."
Kirk nodded seriously. "I think you probably feel guilty, too. That would make sense, given your role in Jeremy's injury."
Jess sighed, having forgotten that rhetorical questions were lost on Kirk.
"Jess." Luke called from the door. "Come give me a hand with the urns of coffee and the hot water for the tea."
"Coming." Jess called to his uncle, then thought about the baby Kirk had on the way, and wanted to lay some fatherly wisdom on the guy. "Don't beat yourself up over it, Kirk. It was an accident. Sometimes things happen and people get hurt. You can't always prevent it."