That night Severus suggested they stay in an old castle ruin. It wasn't anything special, even Hermione couldn't find anything really historic to get excited about. Tomorrow they would arrive at Hogwarts and what would happen there seemed to be on everyone's mind.

Regulus was twitchy, but Hermione guessed she knew why. All afternoon he had walked behind talking to himself for half the journey and now there was a look of set determination on his face. She would bet anything he would be leaving them tonight, but she wouldn't ask. She was content to sit next to him in front of the small fire Severus had made, and simply enjoy his presence beside her. It was harrowing to know that in the morning he would be missed.

Regulus sighed and beside Hermione, tilted his head so that it rested softly on her shoulder. Hermione, surprised and trying not to get upset by the small comforter rested her head atop his.

"Do you remember that first time I met you?" he asked quietly

"Of course" Hermione smiled fondly at the memory.

"You just turned up in my room, I was only fifteen. I was so amazed-"

Hermione laughed slightly.

"-I though you had been sent to me you know, like, I don't know an angel or something?"

"Really?" she asked her voice smiling.

"Yeah, even after you asked for Sirius and went off with him and Potter. I always was looking out for you, you know? I always wanted to protect you".

Hermione began crying, silently, but she refused to let Regulus know.

"I was happy when you got with Severus too"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was like the both of us could look after you then. And Severus, well, he's pretty loyal –to you, that is- he would never ever have let anything happen to you".

"Really?" she asked, he voice barely audible.

"I was crushed when you left" he told her, "I mean, I never got to say sorry to you, we had that argument and-"

"It doesn't matter, I'm here now" she told him realising that her tears were falling onto his head.

"I know, but, well I'm sorry. I never knew who you really were and, I called you a lot of nasty things. I don't know, I guess I was pretty much a fool back then."

"No, Regulus, you weren't. You were… you are, amazing" she told him.

Regulus lifted his head and looked at her. Her eyes were all puffy and her cheeks were blotchy, "are you crying?" he asked.

"No" she sobbed.

He gave her that half smile again that reminded her so much of too many things she missed.

"Hey" Regulus said just remembering something, "I never knew what went on with you and Severus in the room of requirement that time."

"What time?" Hermione asked wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

"The first time you were here, in Hogwarts. Severus had the room all prepared for you two, a surprise or something. What was it?"

Hermione frowned trying to remember, but nothing came to her mind. In fact she couldn't remember being in the Room of Requirement at all with Severus, "are you sure?" she asked.

"Of course I am, I remember him asking around for you. He was looking everywhere no one could find you it was like you'd disa- Oh" he then said realising.

"Was-" Hermione asked, "-was that the day I left?"

"Yeah, I think so"

Suddenly a wave of guilt swept over her, "what was the surprise?" she asked, feeling incredibly worse that she already did.

"I don't know" Regulus shook his head, "maybe you could ask him, but tomorrow" he winked, "so I don't have to listen to him shout at you".

"Why would he shout at me?" she asked looking horrified.

"It was after that, that he went all angsty, well" he reasoned, "more so than he usually was. I thought it was just because you left without telling him, he probably thought you stood him up or something".

"But he knows I didn't" she defended.

"Yeah, but you know Sev, he likes to hold a grudge.

Hermione looked over to where Severus was sitting on a wall, his back turned to and ignoring them. She knew she had hurt him, but was his pride so bruised that him being angry with her now was still a grudge he was holding?

"You should go sit with him" Regulus suggested.

Hermione knew it would be the nicest thing to do but, "No, not tonight. Tonight I want to spend with just you".

And he smiled, at his angel.

IIIII

Hermione didn't want to wake up, but the sun was so hot and bright yellows and reds were flashing through her eyelids. She could hear something sizzling nearby and for the briefest of moments wished she was home, and it was her mother cooking her scrambled eggs. She savoured the few seconds it lasted before she remembered where she actually was.

One eye slowly peeled open, then the next. There was a branch covering her, shielding her from most of the sun. It wasn't attached to a tree therefore she presumed that someone had placed it there purposefully so she wouldn't be sunburnt in her sleep. It must have been Regulus.

Regulus. Just the name echoing in her mind made her stomach feel sick and her chest ache. He had left in the night. She didn't know how she knew, but she was certain that he was no where near them now.

"Severus?" she called out. She didn't know why she called him, other than she felt increasingly lonely and wanted to know that it wasn't so.

A few seconds later he appeared holding a plate of something. "I didn't know what way you liked them" he told her and placed the plate in front of her. Eggs. She could have laughed had she not felt so rotten inside.

He stood up to move away but she called him back.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

And when she shook her head he sat down on the stone floor beside her.

"He's gone" she said and instantly regretted it as Severus immediately frowned at her fondness for Regulus.

"If he chooses to leave then it is not my business. I am not his babysitter, I am here solely to bring you back to when you belong and that is-"

"He's gone to get the Horcrux" she interrupted him, "He went last night, he's gone to die".

Severus frowned. "And you knew of this and didn't think to mention it".

She tried looking sorry, but it didn't work, instead the truth, "yes, we planned it all".

"Then you shouldn't cry over something you have set him out to do. You as good as sent him to his death you silly girl".

Hermione knew it was true, but the jibe still hurt. She knew Severus didn't mean to be harsh with her, but he was upset also. He had been left out of their plans and now his only school friend had gone away. Regulus would be killed and Severus hadn't even been told it was going to happen. Hermione understood his anger towards her all too clearly, he wanted someone to blame and she was.

Still, it didn't stop her bottom lip from trembling.

Severus watched her with such an overwhelming set of emotions he didn't know how he felt.

He had made her eggs, Merlin only knew why. He should have just given her the crackers he had brought. What had possessed him to go out and look for eggs for her?

He had known Regulus had left, that was why. He knew she would be upset and in his own way he wanted to tell her, show her that she wasn't alone, that he, in fact was still here for her.

But there she was looking all sad and he just couldn't be comforting as much as he tried. Why was she so upset over Regulus anyway, it wasn't like they were best friends, if anything Regulus was his friend, not hers. It didn't make sense, but then on the other hand it was perfectly clear. Hermione was –well, Hermione- and she had that infuriating habit of becoming emotionally attached to anyone she met. It was insufferable.

Still, he had upset her and he loathed himself for it.

"Eat your eggs" he said a lot more harshly than he intended.

She did a funny thing then, it was almost a hiccup, almost a sob. It was so annoying and endearing at the same time that Severus was ready to obliviate himself just so he didn't have to play it over again in his mind, as he knew he would.

Slowly he watched as she reached forward for the plate he had transfigured out of a leaf for her, (he was never good as transfiguration, he wondered if she would remember and realise what effort it took just to do that) and pulled it towards herself. Good she was going to eat, he could leave now.

Abruptly, he stood and strode to the opposite side of the castle court yard and sat on the wall facing her. He was careful not to knock the half a tree he had positioned so carefully near her. He didn't want her getting too much sun and suffering from sun stroke after all.

From across the yard he watched her. She took a bite of his eggs and seemed to like them. Then she looked up at him. He didn't look away, instead he continued to stare openly, hoping it would intimidate her. She didn't look away either. Infuriating.

After she had finished her eggs he watched as she curled herself up into a tiny ball with her knees bent to her chest and her head tucked in. she was probably crying. He wondered if she would cry so much had it been he who left to destroy some pansy locket.

And then without warning, something strange happened.

Severus stood, he was fully in control of his movements, but no matter how much he tried to argue with he couldn't stop himself.

He strode over to where she was and ever so gently, as if she were the most delicate thing he had ever touched, he lifted her and carried her over to the stream nearby.

There he sat her down and without pondering too much on her confused and bedazzled expression, transfigured a stone into a sponge and handed it to her to wipe her face.

"Do you really hate to see me cry so much?" she asked

"No" he said and again it sounded more harsh than he would have liked.

"I'm sorry he's gone, I should have told you" she mumbled rinsing the water over her blotchy cheeks and down her neck.

Severus swallowed, "I saw him leave last night" he admitted, though he had no idea why, "I already knew where he was going".

Hermione stopped what she was doing and stared at him, "then why did you have such a go at me? Does it make you happy yelling at me all the time?" she demanded getting to her feet.

Severus stayed squatted, rooted to the spot.

"Because it's all you seem to do" she finished.

"If you didn't infuriate me so much" he told her, and for once –at completely the wrong moment- his voice was quiet and without malice.

"I infuriate you? You have to be kidding me" she laughed and then turned on her heel and stormed off.

Severus didn't know what to do. He didn't want her to be angry with him all day. This was perhaps the last change they would get to spend time together alone.

Before he could properly think through his actions he stood, towering and tall and reached out for her arm.

In one swift movement he pulled her back and toward him till she fell into his chest. He caught her and held her cheeks forcing her to look up at him.

"I didn't mean, I" he said frustrated that he didn't know what to say to her when she looked at him like she currently was, "You, if you didn't-"

"Severus" she said and again, as if she were scared of him her lip began trembling.

That irritated him. Why was she scared? Why was she trembling, he could practically feel her shaking under his grasp.

He took a deep breath and knowing that there was probably more adequate ways of shutting her up he leant forward anyway.

His mouth was close to hers but their lips never met. His breath hot, tickled her and sent cold flutters down her spine. Hermione felt as if she were on fire.

"I do not mean to scare you" he said in such a low, deep voice Hermione was sure he growled.

"You simply irk me".

She laughed, an actual, cannot-control, burst of laughter. It bothered Severus immensely. He didn't stop to think that it may have been nervous laughter, he simply rolled his eyes and walked away from her.

"Severus wait" she called after him and ran to catch up. She hadn't realised before how long each stride of his was.

"We are already behind schedule, now if you don't mind, I would like to get going".

Smiling and running Hermione caught up to him. He has already packed all their belongings by the time she reached the ruin and was striding off without her. She caught her breath for a moment then ran the rest of the way up with him.

None of them spoke to each other; instead they wandered the fields and woodlands quietly in each others company. Severus was being annoying on purpose, Hermione knew. It was three times now he had held branches back for her only to let then go and whip her at the last second. It was childish and irritating. But it amused her all at the same time.

She didn't know what to make of him anymore. One minute he was hot, the next cold. He was so hard to read he made her mind ache, which was a fete in itself.

But she couldn't stop thinking about him. He consumed her. He was in her every thought and as much as she tried to will herself out of it she was undoubtedly, undeniably in love with him.

And what was worse was that she had no idea where she stood. How did he feel about her? He was angry and harsh most of the time, but that was generally what he was like. And it was always less harsh with her, or seemed to be anyway. He had actually apologised to her, which had to count for something. And he could stand her company, so at least if there were no romantic feelings there at least there was the possibility of friendship.

Hermione contemplated all this and more until before she knew it they had reached the familiar cobbled streets of Hogsmeade.

"What?" Severus snapped as she caught up to him.

"Nothing I was just thinking" Hermione said absent minded.

"About what?"

"None of your business" she snapped.

"Fine" Severus sneered and charged on up through the small town.

Hermione running caught up to him, "Cant we stop for something to eat?" she pleased "My feet are killing and I need a rest".

Severus eyed her coldly but pulled her towards the Hogshead anyway.

"I would have guessed you drank here" she said once they had sat down inside.

"I do not usually drink anywhere" he said sliding her glass of butterbeer, "I simply to not want to be seated with a crowd of students".

Hermione nodded her silent reply.

"Why would you care anyway?" he asked which made Hermione raise her eyebrows.

"Just making polite conversation" she said sweetly enough.

Severus scowled.

"So" she tried again, "are you, err- looking forward to going back?"

His scowl deepened. "I am simply looking forward to getting you back to your time and as far away from me as possible" he said enforcing his last point with a slam of his pint glass on the table.

Hermione jumped in shock. She was looking at him as if he had just struck her. He hadn't meant to be so rude, he hadn't meant it like it sounded, but from the hurt look on his face she had taken it that way.

"I see" she said in a put on strong voice, "Well I think I can find my own way from here" and without another word she backed up from the table and headed for the door.

Severus ran his hands through his hair, why did he have to be like this? Why did he have to insult her every chance he got, she was only so tough, there was only so much a person could take.

He glanced over, she was at the door now, and if she left he may as well never see her again. He should have just let her go, she would be out of his life for good then, but he couldn't, instead going once again against his better judgement he ran after her.

IIIII

"Hermione" he called once he reached her. She was sat on the grass outside the Hogwarts gates, there was no one around, all the students were probably in class.

She didn't look back as he approached.

"I want to-"

"I don't want to hear any more of your apologies" she said testily, "Let's just get this over and done with". And with that she stood to enter the gate.

"Its not easy for me" he said suddenly, "I can't, I don't know how to-"

Hermione turned at looked at him, which possibly made the situation worse as now all he could focus on was her huge auburn eyes and not what words were escaping his mouth.

"You make it seem so easy, with your ideals and dreams. I don't know what to say to you. I hate you, it's simple, you irritate me to no end. I can't stand the sight of you; your very presence near me bothers me-"

"Severus"

"You think I want to feel like this? You think I want to be in constant battle with myself over the feelings that I try to hide. You think I want to look at you and see everything that was ever good in my life destroyed by my own hand?

I long for the days where you were not a constant presence in my mind-"

"How dare-"

"-and yet" he continued, "for you, I would, I could… I cannot be without you" he breathed "I have no words to describe, no words that would be good enough or even adequate-"

Hermione took a step forward, her wide eyes flashing at his.

"I hate you Hermione, yet, at the same time I love you."

Speechless wasn't a good enough word for how she felt right now. Air seemed to be an insult to what she needed, breathing wasn't even an option so she just stood there, silently, and watching.

Severus took a step towards her, and then a step away hastily. He was nervous and unsure of what to do. Why wasn't she saying anything? Was this not what she wanted to hear?

But before he had too long to ponder the negative questioning going on in his mind Hermione smiled.

And, for the first time in a very long time, Severus felt free again.

A/N; I promised I would get a chapter out before I go away on Sat so here it is (Im quite proud that I actually managed to write this, I have been crazy busy)!

Hope you like it, and the little treat at the end :) Squee!

Next chap will be when I get back from sunny Florida!

X

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