disclaimer: disclaimed.
dedication: to my mother for letting me have mental health days. thanks mum :) also to sonya and les and emily and eleni for being my posse, yo.
notes: hahahahahaha. hahaaa. ha. it's been two months. goddamn. well, i guess i'm back. sort of. on Valentine's Day, of all things. god.

title: the ballad of miss nothing
summary: And you—you are so stupid, you don't even get it—why don't you get it, huh? I mean, you should. It's not like it's complicated. — 35/5o.

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two.

The first conscious knowledge Haruno Sakura had of Uchiha Sasuke was… kind of strange.

Movement like breathing. Eyes half closed. Something vaguely hard underneath her body. Creamy-gold light on her cheeks. Warmth, lucidity.

And then darkness.

A hollow voice spoke, smiling and echo-ey "This is Sasuke-kun. Say 'hi' to Sakura!"

A face over hers, dark hair, dark eyes. It was frowning down at her. Her face wrinkled up, a wail bubbling up to tear at her throat.

Laughter over her screaming. "I don't think she likes you very much, Sasuke-kun!"

Thinking on it always made her frustrated.

Stupid Sasuke.

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four.

"This is Karin. Amuse yourselves."

Sasuke wasn't the greatest babysitter, Sakura had noticed. He pushed the other redheaded girl forward, and then he turned and left.

The two girls looked at each other for a moment, surveying each other in that way that little girls do when they are unsure of whether or not they'll be able to be friends. Sakura already had one friend—Ino—and she wasn't really sure if she could handle another one. Ino was kind of a handful, like that.

Karin looked at her for another moment, red eyes staring squintily from behind black horn-rimmed glasses. Sakura tried a weak half-smile. Karin squinted for another second before sticking out a fist. Sakura blinked as the little fist unclenched, to reveal a watermelon ring pop.

"Friends?"

How could Sakura not be friends with a girl who offered her a watermelon ring pop?

It was unheard of.

Sakura smiled, little-girl teeth breaking out into a genuine smile. "Friends."

And thus the two-headed monster known as KarinandSakuraaaaaaaa (which would quickly become the four-headed monster ) was born.

Sasuke never forgave himself for this grave injustice to the world.

—

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seven.

"You're icky," Sakura said to her older brother, face scrunched up.

Naruto looked heartbroken. "Teme, look at her! My own sister thinks I'm icky!"

"That's because you are," Sasuke replied. His left eye was twitching. Sakura had the distinct impression that he was not amused by her older brother.

This thought made her seven-year-old mind very happy. Anyone who disliked her brother was probably a very rational person.

"Sasukeeeeeee. Mama says you need to come in, now! She sounds mad!" cackled a voice, and all three children looked around to see Sasuke's younger—and only—sister skipping down the street, crimson hair swinging wildly behind her.

"What did she want, Karin?"

"Dunno!" Karin chirped, tossing her hair back and grinning widely. "She didn't sound too happy, though. I think you should go talk to her, 'fore she does something that might hurt'cha. Oh-hi, Sakura!"

Sasuke did not look impressed.

Sakura grinned, and waved at the other girl.

And Karin, being Karin, did what she did best; she threw herself on Sakura, and hugged the life out of her. "Want to go to the park? They got a new set of swings!"

Sakura smiled into her friend's shoulder. "Sure."

Karin looked over at her brother and his best friend. "Don't worry, Naru-chan. I'll take care of Sakura, I promise!"

Naruto looked a little bit green. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Karin and Sakura, too-skinny arms still wrapped around each other, grinned identical evil grins.

Naruto paled further.

As the two girls skipped off, Naruto shook his head with all the knowledge and grace an eleven-year-old could muster. "They're gonna be the death of us, Teme."

Sasuke was silent as he watched them go. Half-way down the block, they were singing a song about rain. He watched them for another moment, before deciding he was very inclined to agree.

—

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ten.

"I don't want to do this," Sakura said nervously.

They were standing in front of a ferris-wheel. It was Tanabata—early August, and so, so, so hot. Sakura could feel sweat tricking down her back. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

And now, looking up at the gigantic ferris-wheel, Sakura wasn't so sure that she wanted to stay. Home had air conditioning and TV. The festival had junk food and pseudo-freedom in the form and Sasuke and Karin and Naruto and Ino. It was a fairly even battle.

And then the festival brought out the ferris-wheels, and Sakura was beyond to throw her hands up and shout "YOU WIN, WORLD, I'M GOING NOW."

She had a thing about heights, okay?

"C'mon," Sasuke said.

"No—um, I think I'll just wait here. I, uh, I don't—"

"I know you don't like heights. Come on."

"I'll never forgive you for this. Never," Sakura told him. She tucked her hands into her pockets to stop them from shaking.

"Hn," Sasuke said, and practically forced her in line.

The man who was working the ride raised an eyebrow. "Yeh okay, lassie?"

"She's fine," Sasuke replied before Sakura could get a word out.

"I wasn't askin' yeh," the man said, and looked back at Sakura. "I said, 'yeh okay, lassie?' an' I was askin' the lass, not yeh. Yeh don' much look like a lass, lest my eyes deceive me."

Sasuke looked affronted, but Sakura smiled weakly. "M'okay. Just… not too fast, okay?"

"Aye," he said, and gestured towards the seat. "Remember t'bring the bar down, luv. You'll be a'right."

Sakura gulped, nodded, and clambered onto the bench. It swung a little as Sasuke sat down next to her, and brought the restraining bar down. Sakura clenched her teeth.

Sasuke looked down at her the top of her head. She didn't seem very happy with this situation. He rolled his eyes, and offered her his arm. "Don't cut my circulation off."

"If I fall, I'm taking you with me," she grumbled and latched onto his arm, just as they began to move.

Sasuke sighed and sat back.

They went around once without stopping, which was okay except for when seat swung, which was not okay. The second time around, they'd just crested the top, and were two carts down when the thing screeched to a stop.

Sakura went white, and clutched Sasuke's arm with all the conviction she could find. "O-ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod…"

"Sakura, calm down, and look up," Sasuke said gently.

"I hate you. I really, really, really hate you."

"Sakura."

She finally looked up and out. Far above the ground, it was cooler. Away from the people and the heat and the excitement, Sakura felt something like calm for the first time that night. And even though the sun had gone down long ago—there was only a glow far to the west to remind that there was a sun at all—there was something serene and calm about the late evening that had Sakura almost smiling.

She didn't look down, though, because she knew that if she did, she would be sick.

So instead, she looked out and around. "Hey, Sasuke."

"Hn?"

"Thanks," she said. "For this."

"Hn."

It was almost a reply, and so Sakura smiled, and stared at that golden line, far away on the horizon.

—

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twelve.

"Why are you here? Naruto said he'd come pick me up after school," Sakura said, pushing long pink hair out of her face as she scrambled into Sasuke's "brand-fucking-new" truck. It was high off the ground, and it took two tries before she managed to get her foot up.

Sasuke shook his head darkly. "I'm going to kill that idiot."

Sakura shook her head. "I have first dibs. I said that a long time ago. That still doesn't answer my question—where's my brother?"

"With that girl."

"Hinata? Has he convinced her to date him yet?"

"Dunno. Don't care. I have to take you home."

"I'm not a child, Sasuke! You can tell me! This is my brother we're talking about, and knowing him, he's going to screw it up! Hinata's nice!"

He snorted, and Sakura glared at him with all the might of her twelve-almost-thirteen years. "Whatever you say, shorty."

"Don't call me that. I'm not a kid."

Sasuke didn't bother to contradict her. She was just as bad as his sister—worse, even, because at least Karin respected him (sort of. Maybe? Yeah, maybe).

Sakura was always so annoying.

And she was still talking.

"—and how is Karin, anyway? Is she still sick? Can I go see her?"

"She's better."

"Does that mean you'll take me to see her?" Sakura asked, jerking her head up, lips parting over her teeth.

"Hn."

"Awwwww, see, Sasuke! This is why you're my favourite!" Sakura laughed, and reached over to hug his arm.

Sasuke raised his eyes skyward. Fuck's sakes, she's twelve. And she's your best friend's sister. And she's twelve.

Sakura, oblivious, continued to grin. "Go on, then! Let's go! I have a sick friend to attack, duh!"

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fourteen.

"You are—you are impossible," she snarled at him. Storm faced, hurricane hair, ripped tights; Sakura stood in front of Sasuke, a wild-child with anger-dark green eyes, fourteen and not even close to knowing what she was doing.

"Hn."

She hated that he was always so mild. "What are you even doing here, Sasuke?"

"Your mother sent me."

Sakura glowered at him, lips painted red and bruised—just kissed, scorch-marks of heat across her face. The taste of someone else's cigarette rolled across her taste buds, acrid, cancer-inducing poison. She smiled in a nasty way, vodka and venom at the tip of her tongue. "Sure she did."

"Hn."

"What did you expect? That you'd crash my date and I'd thank you? Who do you think you are?"

He stayed silent, but really, what did she expect? He'd always been like that. Always been stupid and silent and—

"Get in the car, Sakura."

Or not.

Stupid Sasuke.

"Make me," she hissed at him. It wasn't a smart move—he was taller and stronger and bigger than she was, and he had four years and many inches on her, but it didn't matter. Because she would not—could not—let this go.

"Hn."

"Ack—what are you doing—GET OFF OF ME!"

"No."

Ten minutes and much screeching later, Sakura sat in the front seat of Sasuke's truck, fuming. "I hate you."

"Buckle yourself in, we're going."

"No. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you. Like, really."

"Hn."

"Who are you to tell me who I can and can't date? It's not like you're my brother or something!"

"That's Naruto's job."

"Which he sucks at. But it's still not your business! I know that my mother wouldn't have told you to come get me, because I'm not some little kid, and because if she would have sent anyone, she would have sent Naruto because he's Naruto and he's my brother and you're not. And anyway, Dad already threatened Shino's nuts if I wasn't home by eleven, which, by the way, was seriously rude."

"It's late."

"It's NINE-TWENTY-EIGHT," she screeched, and watched him grit his teeth with deep satisfaction. "I can keep talking all night, you know—you ruin my night, I ruin yours. I can talk for hours and hours and hours and you can't stop me."

"I can tell your father that I walked in on you underneath your date." The you ruin my night, I ruin your life hung between them, unspoken.

Sakura's eye twitched. "But—you—I WASN'T."

As angry as she was, she couldn't help holding her breath when he reached across her to fiddle with the sound. Breathe, just breathe, it's Sasuke, just breathe, she told herself.

"He doesn't know that," Sasuke replied evenly as he rolled down the window—heavy bass pounded in the interior of the truck and filtered out.

Never mind. Breathing was overrated. Sakura had a small seizure with the sudden onset of complete outrage, and she shrieked at him over the pounding bass.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST DROP DEAD?"

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sixteen.

"Are you crazy?" Sakura asked, mouth gaping wide.

Karin smiled over the rim of her coffee cup. "Of course I am."

They always had conversations like these in Karin's kitchen. It was always after school, when no adults were home. They—they being Sakura and Karin and sometimes Ino and sometimes Tenten—would ditch their books at the front door, and head to the kitchen to drink expensive, alcoholic coffee and gossip, as girls were wont to do. It was a ritual that was never, ever broken. Ever.

Ever.

This day, it was Karin and Sakura and the last of a bottle of Bailey's.

"You are fucking your brother's best friend."

"Second-best friend. Your brother is still my brother's best friend, as much as Sasuke denies it."

"You are fucking Hozuki Suigetsu."

"Yes, that's what I said."

Sakura didn't even have words. She was too busy being shocked and marginally disgusted, because one, um, ew. And two, um, ew. "Are you trying to get him killed? When Sasuke finds out—"

"If," Karin interrupted. "If he finds out. Which he won't. I've taken the necessary precautions. I know I'm doing. I mean, I've been fucking people since I was, like, fifteen, or something."

Sakura levelled a dark glare in her best friend's direction. "Fourteen, and ever since, I've had to listen to all the gory details."

"Oh, please, like you didn't like it," Karin smirked, so very reminiscent of Sasuke that Sakura almost choked.

It wasn't her fault—she saw him almost everyday. He practically lived in her basement. It wasn't her fault.

Seriously.

"You are still fucking his best friend!" Sakura squeaked.

"He can't talk. He wants to fuck you, and you're my best friend," Karin replied, breezy.

Sakura choked and spewed mocha everywhere. Karin looked faintly disgusted—flecks of Sakura-spewed mocha had landed on her eyelid. Why did it always have to land on the eyelid? Even when one was wearing a pair of glasses? Urgh— and pushed her glasses up her nose. "You're acting like this a shock or something."

"Um, that's because it is!" Sakura managed to get out before she went back to choking on her own spit.

"Please, naivety doesn't suit you. Everyone knows he wants to fuck you. He's wanted to fuck you for ages. And everyone knows! Except maybe your brother. He's, um…"

"Stupid, that's the word you're looking for."

"Yeah, that. Anyway. Everyone and their mother knows that Sasuke wants to fuck you, excusing your brother."

Sakura was turning a very unflattering shade of purple. Karin did nothing to remedy this.

"AKJFHASLKJ."

"Don't tell me you actually didn't know. Everyone knows, Sakura!"

"Not me! I didn't know!"

Karin flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Well, now you do. Don't worry about it, this is Sasuke we're talking about, he probably thinks you think he doesn't exist. Even tho' we all know you want his babies."

The unflattering shade of purple deepened as Sakura continued to choke.

And that was the end of that.

Only not really, because for next the two weeks, Sakura couldn't look Sasuke in the face without turning a very ungainly shade of puce.

Sasuke had no idea what was going on.

Like it made any difference, because she still choked and he was still Sasuke and okay, she still kind of wanted to have his babies.

There had to be something wrong with her.

There just had to be.

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eighteen.

"Last day, huh," Sakura said, stretching.

"Something like that," Karin replied.

The lazy lull of summer called just outside the window. Sakura rested her head on crossed arms. "We could be out there, you know."

"And instead, we're sitting, through the last class of AP Math ever."

It wasn't really a hardship. The whole senior class was in the middle of a day-long party, and no one was sober enough to stop them. They'd been That Year; the awful year—the grade as a whole that even the teachers were afraid of.

To have them all leaving was a relief for everyone not in the year, Sakura was sure.

"What are you doing after class?" Sakura asked.

"Who, Sakura. Who am I doing after class. Suigetsu? Kiba? Your brother? I dunno."

"You are such a slut."

"Yeaaah," Karin said with a smile. "But at least it's for a good cause."

"What? You getting around? How is that a good cause?"

"'Course it's not! My vagina is not for sale. No, the good cause is you and Sasuke finally getting over your issues and banging the life out of each other. You can't do that shit if I'm there, because that would just be way beyond awkward. Duh."

"KASEJHFAEKSFJH."

"You know," Karin told her earnestly, "you should really stop choking. It can't be good for your health."

"I hate you. I hate your whole family."

"Sakura, you can't hate my mom. That's, like, impossible. My mom is too cute," Karin replied, shaking her head emphatically.

"I just—I hate you!"

"That's nice. Bell's about to ring. Sasuke should be here to pick me up… Just… I dunno, get in the truck, and jump his bones. He'll forget all about me. If you don't have the tits to jump him in broad daylight, then tell him I'm at the beach. Something. Anything. Just get him to take you home, drag him into your house, and tongue him."

Sakura was disgusted.

Actually.

Completely grossed out. Too grossed-out to retaliate as the bell rang, Sakura watched as Karin gathered her books, gave Sakura a pair of thumbs up and a half-smile, and booked it the heck out of there.

Sakura sighed as she shoved her books into her bag. "Bye, Asuma-sensei. I'd say 'see you next year', but, hah, well, I won't."

Her AP math teacher had already lit a cigarette. He nodded at her as she left.

Sakura walked down the hall, past her empty locker—it was open. The inside was still scribbled all over in Ino's loopy handwriting in vicious purple and Tenten's chicken-scratch in blue, her own soon-to-be-doctor's scrawl in fushia and Karin's precisely clipped printing in scarlet. Huh, highschool.

Sakura was one of the last to slip outside.

And there was Sasuke's truck. The window was rolled down by the time she made it down there.

"She's already gone," Sakura said as way of explanation. "Can I catch a ride?"

"Hn," he acquiesced, and Sakura walked around to the other side, to climb in. She waved to a couple of girls and shook off the catcalls with a smile.

This was just Sasuke.

And, okay, he was beautiful. And she was kind of in love with him. Okay, she got it.

Really, she did.

But she was going away after the summer, and he was going back to business school half-way across the country and Sakura didn't know if she was strong enough for this.

She trained her gaze on her lap, and spoke. "What am I to you?"

"Hn?"

Sakura could feel him staring at her. "Nothing. Never mind."

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nineteen.

She was headed home for Reading Break—ten days where she would do nothing except laze around the house and eat cookie dough with Karin and Ino. Ten days where she would do nothing that required brainpower. Ten days where she would sleep in late, stay out even later, and do nothing that was considered respectable.

The thought of it was absolute bliss, and Sakura couldn't wait.

Sakura smiled into the cold, her nose red and running. It was freezing, and she didn't care. Getting off the plane, heading through the gates, and finally, finally home was the most amazing thing ever.

"You bitch! Where have you been?" came a shriek, and Sakura found herself engulfed in four arms and the bodies of her two best friends.

"School, stupid. Holy crap on crackers, you're tan!"

Ino flashed a smile, very white against her newly-tan skin. "The Bahamas are the place to go, okay? The place to go."

"I'm sure they are," Sakura giggled, and glances over her friends' heads. She could see Naruto, waving wildly.

Sasuke was standing just behind him, looking annoyed.

She sighed.

They really, really needed to talk.

She smiled at him in a weak sort of way as they walked her out. He touched her hand, and it was almost an apology.

But only almost, and they still really, really, really needed to talk.

—

Of course, the chance to talk didn't come until the next day, when Sakura had unpacked and was lounging around the living room in flannel pajama pants and a tank top. She was planning to spend the day watching through six weeks of Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, and Jersey Shore.

(Really, everyone needed a good dose of trashy TV now and then.)

But the doorbell rang, and Sakura lazily pulled herself up off the couch to go get it. She ambled to the door, and pulled it open. "Hello?"

"Hn."

"Oh. Um. Hi, Sasuke. Come in, Naruto's not going to be home for a bit, I think."

"No, look, Sakura. We…"

"Need to talk. I know. That's why I said Naruto wouldn't be back for a while. He's at Hinata's, I think. Now are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand there like an idiot? It's cold."

And in he went.

Sakura turned and faced him. She was wearing a pair of reading glasses, hair up and out of her way, and Sasuke thought that—that he liked her best like this, when she was just Sakura, with no varnish and nothing to make some perfect-plastic doll-girl. She was just Sakura, and he liked her like that.

"Hn."

"If that's you asking why I kissed you before I got that plane to leave, I'm not telling you anything. You had better get a bigger vocabulary, because until you do, I'm not telling you jack-shit."

Sasuke sighed, and just stared at her. Yes, that was what he wanted to know, and yes, he knew that she knew that he couldn't really find the right words. He'd never been good at words—never been good at Sakura, really.

And now she was standing in front of him with her fingers twisted into the hem of her shirt, looking like she was about to kill someone.

There was something very attractive about it.

(How fucked up was this relationship, again?)

Sakura stood there, and shook her head slowly. "This is—you know, I don't even have words for you. I really don't. And you—you are so stupid, you don't even get it—why don't you get it, huh? I mean, you should. It's not like it's complicated."

She was talking with her hands, waving them around as she spoke, because she couldn't really explain the frustration.

She kissed him before she'd left. She'd grabbed his face, stood on her tiptoes, and pressed their lips together, hoping that maybe—just maybe—he would reciprocate.

But he hadn't.

Stupid Sasuke.

He caught her wrists, and Sakura thought for a second about how big his hands were. He still had four years and several inches on her. Fucking stupid Sasuke.

"Sakura," he said quietly. "I get it. I do."

"No, you don't. If you got it, you wouldn't be here, because you being here is torture and I can't fucking take this, because it hurts and I hope you know that if your sister wasn't one of my best friends, I would fucking ruin you—"

"You talk too much," Sasuke muttered, and pulled her closer.

"—and I really hate you, okay?"

"Hn," he said. "Sakura, look up."

She tipped her head upwards, another verbal lashing on the tip of her tongue.

And then her lips were very much occupied.

And they stayed occupied for the next ten minutes.

When Sasuke finally pulled back, there was a fine glaze on Sakura's eyes, and her cheeks were flushed.

"I told you," he said quietly. "I get it."

"Oh," she murmured. "Well that—that changes things. That, um, that definitely changes things."

He smirked down at her, close and warm and Sasuke. He was still beautiful and she was still annoying and okay, she still kind of wanted to have his babies.

She looked up at him. "I still hate you."

Sasuke chuckled. "Sure you do, Sakura. Sure you do."

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fin.
notes2: happy single's awareness day, all!
notes3: seriously, i know that it sucks. love sucks. please review. leave me a love story, and i'll tell you one in return. :)