A/N: Thanks for reading. Enjoy!

"The girls wanted to pick out their brothers' clothes." Christian moves from the hallway and into the bedroom. Aidan and Teddy are in his arms while Georgia and Raygan are on his sides. I place the blanket I was crocheting down next to me and smile at the matching onesies the boys are wearing. They're yellow with ducks on the front. "I think it was the ducks that sealed the deal."

"Quack, quack.", Raygan says.

"Quack, quack.", Georgia follows. She and Raygan climb on to the bed with me as Christian eases into the rocking chair with the Aidan and Teddy.

"How's the blanket coming along?", Christian asks. I groan and pick up the small piece I've done so far. I wanted to help with Grandmother's plan to donate blankets to the hospital's nursery so I picked up crocheting materials for the first time in ages.

"If you'll recall, I wasn't the best at crocheting when Grandmother first taught me. I guess I thought I'd be able to pick up it back up and magically have the ability to do it right."

"Don't get yourself down about it. You're trying."

"You're right. I'm also finding it difficult to concentrate. I keep thinking about Clarissa. When I called your mom earlier, she said Clarissa was out with Sam. He's been by her side the entire time." It was only yesterday that we learned Clarissa's mother had died of an overdose in a motel. The woman who gave birth to her but didn't mother her is gone.

"I had my reservations about him at first, but I can honestly say now that he's been good for Clarissa. She needs him. She needs all of us.", Christian says while gently rocking in the chair. I see the boys slowly drift into a slumber. "Dad said he and Mom are going to arrange the burial. Clarissa's mom's going to be buried next to her grandmother. The service is going to be the day after tomorrow, but Clarissa has said she's not going."

"I can see why she's saying that. She pretty much raised herself with no help from her mom. I also know that part of her is grieving. She's trying to be strong and prove that she's not hurting." Georgia grabs the semi blanket and covers herself up with it. "I'm glad you like it."

"Me want.", Raygan tells her sister as she tries to grab the blanket, but Georgia has a firm hold on it.

"Mine.", Georgia snaps. Christian looks at me and then the boys, silently asking me to calm things down.

"Hey sweet peas. You can share.", I whisper. I take the blanket and place it on both of their legs. "See. You need to share."

"Tay Mama."

"Tay." I glance back at Christian who mouths thank you.

"Got a minute?", I ask Christian. He turns from the computer screen and smiles.

"For you, I've got forever." I close the study door behind me. "Are the kids asleep?"

"Yeah." I set the baby monitor on the end table and sit down on the sofa. "I mentioned earlier that my mind was preoccupied with concerns about Clarissa. I've also noticed that you seem to have something on your mind. I know that you've got some work to do, but I also want you to know that I'm here if you want to talk."

"From the moment that we first met Clarissa, she's kind of reminded me of myself and the hell I endured during the first part of my life. Seeing her become part of the family and thriving has been wonderful. When Mom told us about Clarissa's mom dying, though...", he sighs with a deep breath. "It felt like I was looking back at my birth mother's death. She's been gone for years, but it's now fresh in my head." He gets up from his chair and moves next to me on the sofa.

"You might not agree with me, but I believe your birth mom loved you. It might not have been the typical motherly love, but she loved you in her way." He casts his eyes downward. "Her demons were just too powerful for her."

"I know.", he murmurs, keeping his eyes down. "It's been a long and emotional journey, but I've come to see that she had love for me. I used to hate her but not anymore. What I feel now is sadness for her and the life she could've had if the drugs hadn't gotten her. I would have never gotten to this point if it hadn't been for you. Ana, you've helped me see beyond the exterior. You give the ability to see there's more to people than meets the eye."

"You've had that ability the entire time. You just needed help clearing away the fog that was shielding it from you.", I say as I run my fingers through his hair on the neckline. "I should let you get back to work." He nods and helps me to my feet, but holds on to my hand. His lips meet mine in a delicate kiss.

"I love you more now than I did when I woke up this morning. I'll love you even more before I go to bed tonight. Then tomorrow, that love will be greater."

"Hi. Where are the kids?", Carrick asks after Christian and I arrive at the Greys' house.

"They're with Gail and Vickie.", Christian answers while giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. This is the first time I've left the kids since Aidan and Teddy were born. Despite being unsure about leaving them, Christian and I decided it would be best considering the reason why we're here. "But Ana and I are here so yay."

"You know I'm happy to see the two of you also." We walk into the living room where Mia and Mark are placing Thomas in his carrier. Grace comes downstairs with Clarissa following her.

"Christian, Ana, hello.", Grace says. "Where are the kids?"

"At home.", I reply as we hug. "We're not going to be gone long so they're with Gail and Vickie."

"We were about to head out for some food. How about you join us?", Mia asks.

"Thanks for the invite, but we're going to take a rain check."

"Clarissa's not joining us even though I've tried my best to convince her.", Grace sighs.

"I've got a report to do for school and some studying as well.", Clarissa replies. She continues standing by the stairs as Carrick and Grace trade glances. "You guys should go and have a wonderful time."

"It would be better if you were with us.", Carrick tells her. "We'll bring you something back."

"Thomas is all snuggled up.", Mark says. Christian places a quick kiss on the baby's cheek, making it giggle. "You're being silly."

"If it's ok, Ana and I would like to hang out here for a bit.', Christian says.

"Sure.", Grace smiles in return. She senses the reason for us staying behind. "We're going to go. Christian, Ana, give the kids a kiss and hug from us. Clarissa, if you need anything, call."

"I will." Clarissa wraps her arms around everyone as the heads out the door. She closes the door and keeps her back to Christian and I for several minutes before finally turning around. "I know why you stayed. You're here to talk about my mom. The thing is, there's nothing to talk about. She's gone." Clarissa staggers over to and falls back into a chair while Christian and I sit down on the sofa.

"I'm sure my parents have told you at least tidbits of my life before they adopted me.", Christian says.

"They said you had rough beginning, and your birth mother was dead."

"Correct. She was addicted to crack. It was what she craved. She'd spend more time worrying about getting her next fix than taking care of me. I was a child who didn't understand the ramifications of what she was doing to herself, to me. She also had a pimp who took it upon himself to use my chest and back as an ashtray."

"I didn't know that.", she murmurs. "Christian, I'm sorry."

"It's something that can't be changed. When I was four, my mother overdosed and died. I was left in our grungy apartment with her body. Thankfully, I was found and taken to the hospital where Grace found me. She and Carrick took me in."

"Like they did me. They're wonderful people who have the biggest hearts."

"Yes they are. I spent so much of my early life hating and being mad at my birth mother. How could she treat me like she did? I was her child who she was supposed to take care and protect. She failed. As I was telling Ana last night, I don't have that hatred any longer. I have some resentment but not anger. In her own way, my birth mother loved me. She was under the influence of her drugs and lifestyle."

"You may not believe it, but your mom loved you too, and you loved her. It's that love that makes it ok to grieve her death."", I add. Clarissa wipes away a small tear from her face.

"When I was six, my mom and I went to the park where we spent the day. It might seem like nothing to some, but for me, it's one of the only good memories I have of her. During that day, we flew a kite. I was so sure the kite was going to end up in a tree, but she kept saying it was going to be ok. It was. Then we layed down on the grass and stared at the clouds. We'd take turns calling out what we thought the clouds looked like. There was one that she said looked like a dog, but I just couldn't see it. She laughed. It was the only time I heard her truly laugh. She told me that it was all in the mind. If you wanted it to look like a dog, it would look like a dog. It was a simple comment, but it was also one that helped get through the times in which she yelled at me. I would tell myself it was going to be ok in the end. I wasn't exactly sure how, but I hoped telling myself would work."

"Things are ok for you now. You're in a good place."

"When she left that note telling me that she was leaving town, I was relieved but also kind of upset. The happiness far outweighed the sadness, but it was there. I just tried not to let it be shown. I guess what's making me hurt now is that she's gone forever. Before, she was just away from here. Now she's gone with no chance of ever coming back. It might be foolish of me to think about, but I think about how she might have one day woken up and gotten her life together. That's not possible. She's just...gone." Clarissa's lip quivers as her body shakes. "She's gone." Christian and I both get up and move to her side.

"Now she might finally be at peace.", Christian says.

"I hope so. I hope she found the peace she needed."