AN: **I had to alter Julia's age a little to make it work the way I want, I also got Mrs. Grissom's attitude toward Sara from: Two Mrs. Grissom's, I don't know if it was just because of their living situation that made her act the way that she did or not, but I am interpreting that she wasn't sure if Sara was the right one for her son in this story, at least she thinks that now. Thanks for the reviews. Here is the longest chapter in the story.

Chapter 36: Somebody else in mind

The moment he whispered her name he had a flashback of the last time they saw each other.

Flashback

March 2, 1990

11 years ago

Grissom was sitting in the diner he had been going to since he moved here two years ago. The price was good, convenient since it wasn't very far from the lab, open 24-hours a day and the food wasn't that bad, it wasn't nowhere near his own cooking, but it was edible.

He was looking down at the menu when he heard the bell from the door ring, a few seconds later he feels someone putting their hand on his arm. He looks at the hand then travels his eyes up to her face and smiled at the blond-haired, blue-eyed woman, who was 8 years younger than him.

She smiled at him then signed. 'Hi.'

He gets up, signed back. 'Hi Julia, how was your flight?'

Betty introduced Julia Holden to him when he visited her on her birthday last November. He thought one of the reasons his mother and her had gotten along so well was because she was deaf too and the fact they both loved art, was another part of it.

When Grissom and her had met there was an instant attraction between them and he thought it could be love because he never felt anything like this, but it was like his heart was tying to decided if it really was love or not. In the meantime though he was having fun getting to know her, and despite living in different states they were making it work after four months, plus he was happy for the first time in a long time so he wasn't that worried about it. She smiled and answered. 'It was alright.'

He nodded, kissed her cheek, helped her to her seat, and after he sat down across from her he signed back. 'I wish you would have told me ahead of time that you would be here, I would've picked you up at the airport.'

Julia nodded. 'I knew that you were working on a case and I didn't want to take you away from it.'

Before Julia, he hadn't met anybody who understood his work schedule and that's one of the things he liked about her, she wasn't set out to change him.

'I appreciate it, but you still should have let me know.'

She shrugged her shoulders. 'Well I am here now.'

'Yes you are.' He looks into her eyes for a few seconds then continued. 'And not that I am not happy to see you but we agreed to see each other next weekend, is something wrong?' The moment he asked that she looked down sadly and his look turned to worry. He waited for a few seconds, then puts his hand on her arm to get her to look at him again. 'What's wrong?"

She took a breath. 'I got a job offer in New York and I've decided to take it.'

He was still for several seconds, not knowing what to say about that or explain how he felt, which was sadness, but it didn't feel like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

His inner thoughts were interrupted when she puts her hand on his, he looked at her again as she continued. 'Nothing has to change Gil, we ca...'

He puts his free hand up to stop her, then after slipping his other hand out from under hers he replied back. 'It will, it's hard enough seeing each other now, it will be impossible when you move across the country, you have to see that.' She nodded as she wiped a tear away.

Seeing that reaction still made him sad but didn't make his heart break, he mentally shakes his head as she responded. 'Then this has to be goodbye, doesn't it?'

He gives her a sad smile. 'What other choice do we have?'

He knew there were choices, but he didn't want to leave here, and he didn't feel right asking her to stay when he wasn't sure if they were headed anywhere. He wouldn't make her lose a job opportunity for a relationship that could not be long-term.

She was about to sign something then stopped, shook her head and responded. 'Then I guess this is goodbye.'

He nodded, she gets out of the booth, he gets out on his side, she gives him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him, a few seconds later he hugs her back.

When they pulled back, she puts her hand on his cheek, gave him a small smile then removes her hand to sign. 'I wish you luck in the future.'

He smiled. 'Good luck to you too.' She nodded and after one more look she turned and walked away.

He watched her walk out of the diner as he sat back down with a sigh. This sting felt worse than when he watched Savannah walk away, but nowhere near where his heart was breaking and never to be repaired again. It would just take him a bit of time to get over this one.

Just as he thought that his pager goes off. Even though he was off his own shift, other members from different shifts page him when there was bug activity at their crime scene because he was the only experienced entomologist at the lab, so he stands back up, pays for the coffee he hardly touched then walked out of the diner, happy that he had work to fall back on every time his personal life knocks him down.

End of flashback

His mind gets back to the present when he noticed Julia started signing. 'Hi Gilbert.'

He gives her a smile and signed back. 'Hi Julia.' She looks at him then finally noticed a third person in the room, she looks in the direction of Sara. Grissom looked at Sara and noticed the two women were looking at each other. He cleared his throat and said. "Sara." She looked at him, which made Julia look at him, then he continued signing and talking. "Sara Sidle met Julia Holden." They smiled and nodded at each other politely but he could tell that they weren't very impressed with one another.

He looks over as his mother for help when she walked back into the dinning room, but instead of doing that she had to make things worse when she walked up to Julia, tapped her on the shoulder and asked. 'Would you like to stay for dinner?'

'I don't want to intrude.'

Betty smiled and replied. 'You wouldn't, more the merrier.' Betty looks at her son. 'Right Honey?'

He knew no matter what decision he chose it would disappoint somebody, so he looks at Sara asking with his eyes what he should do. She waits for a few seconds then does a short nod and looks down at her food. He knew she wasn't thrilled with the idea, but anything to keep the peace with his mother would probably be a good idea at this time.

He mentally sighed, looked back at his mom and Julia then signed. 'Yeah, we have plenty of food.'

Julia smiled with a nod and replied. 'Ok.' Then with a smile Betty moved her plate from the spot next to her son and set it at the end of the table, so she was now across from Sara and the spot on the right of Grissom was open for Julia.

A few minutes later after everybody was sitting down with their plate of food in front of them, Grissom picks up his fork and looks around the table, feeling more awkward than he had ever felt in his entire life, and he thought going to the club was bad, he had no idea how wrong he was.

He looked over at Sara, puts his free hand on top of hers, which made her look up from her food. She gives him a small smile and he gives her a small one back. He watched her turn her head, so he did the same and saw Julia and his mom looking at her. A few seconds later he felt Sara slip her hand out from under his, he looks back at her and she was looking down at her food again with her fork in one of her hands, while the free hand was in her lap now. He mentally signed again, moved his hand back to its spot by his plate and started eating.

During their meal, sign language between Betty and Julia was fluid with an occasional tidbit from Grissom here and there. They tried to include Sara but they were finding it a little difficult keeping the flow going. After dinner they had the pie instead of cake, then once dessert was done Julia announced it was time for her to leave so she could visit her family, which was one of the reason's why she came back to California, the other was to visit Betty on her birthday. They had nodded then Betty volunteered Grissom to walk Julia to the door, and because he was gentlemen he did it.

When they got to the door he opens it and she steps out on the doormat, turned back to him and signed. 'It was really nice seeing you again, I am sorry that it made your girlfriend uncomfortable though.'

'Well you know my mom, when she gets an idea in her head...'

'It's hard for her to change it.'

Julia knew that Betty had been disappointed that her and her son didn't work out, but she still treated her like she was still dating him.

Grissom nodded with what Julia said then gets a surprise when she brings him in a hug.

When she pulls back, she was going to touch his cheek but changes her mind, realizing it would be inappropriate at this time, then signed. 'Goodbye, Gilbert.'

'Goodbye Julia.'

After another look and smile she turned and walked away, Grissom made sure she got in her vehicle, then shuts the door as she drove away.

Once it clicked shut he released the doorknob then ran his hand through his hair and let out the air he felt he had been holding since their uncomfortable/nightmare meal had started. He now knew that he had to talk to Sara. After sighing he walked back to the dinning room, when he didn't see Sara he looks at his mother, who was in the kitchen, she pointed outside.

He nodded and before he turned his head she signed. 'I'm sorry honey.'

For the first time in his life, that he could remember, he talked back to his mother. 'Are you really?' He watched her look at him with wide-eyes and he continued before she could interrupt. 'Did you plan this?'

Betty shook her head and finally signed back. 'Of course not honey.'

He sighed again. 'Listen, I know how much you were devastated that Julia and I broke up and I don't know what you have against Sara but she is the woman I choose and I am not letting her go just because you like Julia more, I won't do it.' Before his mother could sign again he was already walking outside, it was hard talking to her like that, but she had to understand he loved Sara and not even his mother could change who was in his heart.

When he stepped on the deck he shuts the sliding, glass door, and as he was walking to the end of the deck, where Sara was sitting, she starts speaking. "I now understand why your mother wasn't so excited about me, she already had somebody else in mind for you."

He sat down next to her, looked at her, which broke his heart seeing the tear stains on her cheeks. He was going to put his hand on her cheek or arm but he didn't think she would like that at the moment, so he kept his hands to himself and replied. "She may have her in mind but I don't and I hadn't in years."

Still looking away from him, she asked. "And I take it from your reaction on seeing her, she meant a little more to you than Savannah or Linda ever did?" When he didn't speak for several seconds she looks at him, and after he shakes his head in a 'yes' motion, she continued. "So how much more did she mean to you than?"

He took a breath and said. "Sara the way I felt about her and the way I feel about you are completely dif..."

She cuts him off. "Tell me."

He nods. "My second year of living in Vegas I came here for my mother's birthday and while I was here we went to an art gallery that she was thinking about buying, and that's when she introduced me to Julia. They had met five months earlier and took an instant likening to each other."

He took another breath and continued, knowing this wasn't going to be easy to hear. "I'll admit there was an instant attraction between us and we had a lot in common so we started dating, but she lived around here and I lived in Vegas. We didn't see each other very much but when we did, we had fun and we really enjoyed each other's company."

"What happened?"

He looked down at his hands as he continued. "Four months after meeting each other she accepted a job offer in New York. She assured me nothing was going to change but I knew that if it was hard enough seeing her when she lived here then it would be nearly impossible to see her when she moved up there, so we said goodbye and I'll admit it took a little time to move on from her."

He heard her next words come out a little strained. "Did you love her?"

He looks back into her eyes and told her the truth. "At one time I thought I did." He watched her look away from him again and this time he took one of her hands in his, scooted closer to her and continued. "But then I met you and god Sara that first day my world was spinning, my heart was beating so fast and I almost fainted, that's never happened to me before."

He saw her lips turn up a little, which gave him a little more confidence, so he started speaking again. "After that first day I couldn't wait to get up the next morning because I knew I was going to see you, and spending all day long with you was/will always be the highlight of that seminar."

He leans toward her, puts his forehead on the side of her head, speaks again, softly this time. "Now every time you smile at me is a highlight. Julia is so far in the past she doesn't even come close to my radar, yes I still care about her and I probably always will." He pulls his forehead back from her head, uses his free hand to turn her head so her eyes were looking at him, then he puts that hand on her cheek as he finished. "But Sara, I swear that I've never lied to you when I told you that I love you like no other woman or no other woman has loved me like you do and that's not going to change, no matter what happens in the future."

It was silent for several minutes as they looked into each other's eyes and he was willing her to believe him.

A few more seconds she finally nodded and replied. "I believe you."

He took a big sigh of relief, brings her hand that was still in his, up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "I'm sorry about today and that you had to meet/know about her like that."

She shook her head and replied. "It's not all your fault, we both agreed to keep past relationships out of our conversations." She sighed then continued. "I just didn't think I would ever see your past relationships. I'll admit it only makes me more jealous knowing what they looked like and that you were with them. I hate how I feel when I get that way, I don't do jealously well."

"You don't have to be, they should be jealous of you because your my one and only." He ran his thumb up and down and her cheek and continued. "My beautiful, one and only."

She gives him a small smile, takes his hand off her cheek, kissed his knuckles, looked back at him and responded. "And your mine, I love you so much Griss, and today doesn't change that." He smiles at her, they lean toward each other and kissed softly. When they pulled back, he puts his forehead to hers.

After a few minutes of silence he says. "Let's get out of here."

She pulls back, looks at him and asked. "Where are we going?"

"Up to San Francisco."

He knew it would take the rest of the evening and early morning to get there and back, but now that the thought came to his head he wanted to do it.

She looks at him with wide eyes and responded. "Why?"

"I want to go to the beach."

She chuckles. "Griss, you have a beach that's closer."

He shakes his head, gets up, and still keeping her hand in his, he said. "It's not the same, so what do you say?" He saw her confusion but he wasn't going to explain now.

Finally she smiled and replied. "Alright." He helped her up and they walked back into the house hand in hand, then to the living room where Betty was now sitting on the couch.

She looks up at them as they walked by, Grissom looks a his mother and signed. 'We'll see you later, mom.' He watched her sigh, then nod. They walked toward the door then walked out once it was open, and Grissom shuts it behind them.

When they got to San Francisco he parked his vehicle in the parking lot at the beach, got out of the vehicle and helped her out, then he took her hand and walked them to the spot on the beach he wanted.

When they stopped, he looked at her and asked. "Do you remember this spot?"

She looks at him, smiled and replied. "The last night you were in San Francisco we stood right here."

He smiled turns them so they were face to face and he speaks again. "I knew I felt a strong connection when I first saw you, but I don't think I really understood it until we were here that night because I knew leaving you would be the hardest thing I would ever do in my life." He lets a tear fall, she puts a hand on his cheek to wipe it away, leans toward him and kisses him passionately.

When they slowed down their kissing they did a few pecks until finally they pulled completely away from each other, then he moves them so she was standing in front of him. He wraps his arms around her waist, she puts her hands on top of his, he puts his chin on her shoulder and whispered. "I wanted to kiss you where I first realized that the love I have for you was bigger than anything I've ever known, that's why it wasn't the same." She smiles, slips her fingers through his and they just stood there listening to the waves, while holding each other close.

After awhile they got back into the vehicle, he put the heater on after he started it then took them back to the house. Along the way she fell asleep and was still asleep when he pulled in the driveway to his childhood home.

Grissom stops the vehicle in front of the garage, gets out and looks for the fake rock in the flower bed to the right of the front door, turns it over when he found it, grabs the hide-away key and unlocks the door, then puts the key and rock back in place.

He walked back to the vehicle and very skillfully maneuvers the seatbelt off her then picks her up and carries her inside the house, thankful that when she was dead asleep she was a hard sleeper. He walks to his childhood bedroom, which had changed from when he was child, well at least the wall did, it wasn't a western theme anymore, it was just painted white with a bunch of art hanging on the walls. He lays her down on the twin bed, takes her shoes off, tucks her in, kisses her forehead, whispered goodnight then walks out of the room to shut the front door.

When he turned back around to head to the bedrooms after he shuts the door he gasped a little because he wasn't expecting his mother to be walking in the living room this late/early hour. 'What are you doing up?' She walks up to her son, takes his hand and they walk to the couch to sit down.

Once they do and she turns on the lamp from the end table, then signed. 'I couldn't sleep, I was worried about you.'

'I'm fine mom, it isn't me that you should be worried about.' His mother looked at him then looked down, he frowned, puts his hand on her shoulder until she looked at him again, then he continued. 'What do you have against Sara?'

Betty shook her head and signed back. 'I think she is a lovely, polite woman, but I don't know if she is the right one for you.' Grissom was about to sign again but Betty continued. 'What happens if you go deaf? Will she be there for you? because you know that it still could happen, I hope you didn't think it couldn't just because you're older.'

He nodded. 'Yes I am always aware of that fact. I'll deal with it when it happens, and I like to think she will be.' Betty was about to sign again, but Grissom continued. 'I truly love her mom and I am sorry if that upsets you but there is nothing that's going to make me change how I feel.' He sighed and started to sign again, finishing this conversation, knowing that no more words can be said about it, it was up to her now to accept it or not. 'I hope in time you'll learn to accept her because she is a wonderful woman and nothing would make me happier than to have my two favorite women get along." He leans over, kissed his mother's cheek, pulls back and signed. 'I do love you mom. Goodnight.'

Betty wiped a tear away, signed. 'I love you too, honey, Goodnight.'

After a small, sad smile Grissom gets up, walked down the hall and turned to the guest room, which was across from his room, and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, despite the turmoil his heart was going through at the moment.

The next morning things didn't get any better between Sara and Betty, in fact it had become so uncomfortable that Grissom took Sara out again, this time to the beach that was closest to the house.

As they sat on a blanket, looking out in the waves he asked. "Do you want to go back to Vegas today?"

They looked at each other and Sara asked. "What about your mother?"

He sighed and replied. "I'm not going to ask you to pretend that everything is alright in that house. You feel uncomfortable, so it makes me uncomfortable, which in turn makes her that way, and the only way I can think to defuse that is if we leave a day early, so do you want to leave?"

He watched her swallow, nod then responded. "I do, I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry about, I just thought that she would understand."

She puts a hand on his cheek. "Maybe in time she will see how much I love you, we'll try again another time."

He smiles and asked. "You are willing to do that?"

"Of course, I just think it's best to step back right now and not make things worse."

He nodded, took her hand, kissed the top of it and smiled as they got up from the blanket, then he bends down, grabs it and after he shakes the sand out he folds it up, takes her hand with his free hand and they walk back to the vehicle.

They just about get there when they hear. "Gilbert?"

He looks to the left and see an older couple looking at him, he gives them a little smile and said. "Hi Mr. and Mrs. McDonald, how are you?"

Mr. McDonald sighed and replied. "We are doing the best we can, but there isn't a day that goes by where we don't think of our Larry."

Grissom nodded in understanding and replied. "I still think about him too." They smiled then he introduced Sara to them.

After a few more words, hugs and handshakes were exchanged they said goodbye then Grissom and Sara continued to the vehicle and got in. Grissom shuts his door, and as he was turning the vehicle on he speaks, while watching Mr. and Mrs. McDonald walking toward the beach. "That's been their ritual ever since I've known them. They had always walked on the beach hand in hand just enjoying the sun and outside together, of course Larry thought it was gross when we were younger." They chuckled a little and watched the couple stop, peck each other on the lips then continued to walk, hand in hand.

He looks at Sara, and she was smiling. "That is very sweet watching a couple like that. Even after losing a child they held strong to their vows and are still in love. It really gives me hope for the future."

He smiles and replied. "Our future?"

He watches her turn to him and she said with a smile/smirk. "We'll see." He chuckles, they meet in the middle and kiss. When she pulls back she said in a more serious tone, while looking into his blue eyes. "I like to think that we do have one, but I am enjoying this one day at a time thing."

He pecks her on the lips again, pulls back and replied. "Me too. Now let's get out of here." She nodded then looked a little sad, he puts his hand on her cheek. "Leaving early is not your fault, so don't blame yourself." She just nodded and after one more peck he took them back to the house.

As she was packing her bag he was breaking the news to his mother. Betty was a little sad but understood the situation. After an awkward goodbye between Betty and Sara and a kiss and goodbye from mother to son, Grissom and Sara got into the vehicle with their packed bags and he took them to the airport, both feeling sad on how their trip ended, but determined to make the rest of the weekend a good one.

AN: Too bad things didn't work out for them on this trip. Will Mrs. Grissom ever be convinced that Sara is the right woman for her son? Stay tuned.

Next Chapter: Their first Christmas as a couple and Grissom has a special gift for her. Please review.