A-ya sat in the dampened grass where the forest ended and he could watch Yukiteru and Rika return to their group, wherever they may be.
What else did you expect, Loner?
He wondered whether the sunset was beautiful beyond the clouds. He wondered what color it was.
"I hurt him," he said dazedly, and brought his knees to his chest. "What am I…?"
You should have known this was a risk from the beginning.
"It's just another trick, isn't it?"
A-ya shifted. Who was that, talking? He shifted his gaze, someone just a bit younger than himself had sat beside him. He blinked slowly, his senses thrumming in and out of cognizance.
The other child looked at him with a single narrowed eye, his other shrouded by his dark hair. A cold smile touched his young, pale lips. A-ya remembered him, of course: Ciel Phantomhive? "You've fallen for the same trap as me, huh…? I should have expected it." He chuckled, but A-ya could only blink again.
This sure is something, commented the demon, sounding vaguely irritable.
"Maybe people like you and I belong in the dark…" Ciel's eye was distant. "Is it so bad? I can't even tell…"
You should really get some sleep, kid.
What's that? I should sleep?
"I'd wanted to see where you'd end up… Ironic, isn't it?"
You need it. You know that you're sitting alone, right?
"How's that?" he asked aloud. "When I'm with you, Kuroha…" He noticed that Ciel was gone.
I'll leave your body be while you rest. This is becoming a hindrance even for myself. I won't let you die; you're my host. But barring that, you should sleep.
I should get back to the others and sleep with them, he thought, even as he buried his face in his knees. Oddly, he felt comfortably warm. All feelings of loneliness began to melt with his consciousness. Curled into the fetal position before the trees behind him, he began to slumber at last.
"So… how long will A-ya take, do ya think?" asked Suzuya.
"Who knows?" answered Izaya, unconcerned. "I'm more curious as to how he's doing with Yukiteru-kun…" He was possessed with that old fixated spark. "What will they talk about? What will they feel? What will they do? It's so exciting, I almost can't contain myself…!"
"You're weird," commented Suzuya, picking thoughtfully at the stitches on his right arm.
Izaya laughed. "Thank you, Suzu-chan~"
"Stop calling me that."
"Why should I?"
"Because…" Suzuya had to think about it. "…Because it's annoying."
Izaya only snickered.
"Maybe it's just that you're annoying," the albino conceded, bringing a finger to his lower lip. "Ah… That would make sense."
"Sorry to disappoint, Suzu-chan – you can't get rid of me so easy~"
"I could kill you, sometime."
"Alright!" Izaya chirped. "Wait in line, then – there's quite a few after me~"
"That's okay, I don't mind cutting."
Twelve couldn't help but laugh at the exchange. "You two are insane," he said good-naturedly. "Not that I'm not, but hey~"
"Sometimes, just a little bit," admitted Suzuya, "Izaya is kinda okay, maybe. In an annoying away."
"I'm touched," Izaya sneered, and Suzuya pointed his scythe at him.
"I don't like that face," he said lowly.
"Hey, hey," cut in Twelve, hands in the air. "I don't want any heads rolling right now, okay?"
"What about eyes?" inquired Izaya with humor as Suzuya rolled his in bother.
"I'll incapacitate you, then," the officer sniffed, and Twelve laughed again.
"Ah, Suzu-chan learned a word after all~" cried the informant, who then dodged as 'Suzu-chan' swung his scythe at him.
"Akise was nice," smiled Twelve, his hands in his pockets. His brown eyes were rather distant. "Wonder how that lot's doing."
"Don't care," Suzuya said dismissively.
"Harsh~" said Izaya.
Twelve released a bark of laughter. "That doesn't mean much, seeing as you wouldn't care if even I died, right Suzuya? Unless that's changed?"
"It hasn't," said the albino, and any hope in Twelve's voice was extinguished as he sighed sadly.
"Ah, well… I tried," the terrorist shrugged. "And of course, there's Izaya…" Twelve paused. "Speaking of which, hey."
"Hm?~ What is it, Twelve?" That cold, cruel smile.
"Do you know why it is I chose to join you and A-ya over remaining with Minene and Akise and the others?"
"Hm?" Izaya's eyes were barely open, slits. "Because we're more interesting, I suppose?"
"No, Izaya… That's not it at all." That dark light that so intrigued Izaya flickered in Twelve's eyes as he smirked, but it didn't last long. He shook his head and displayed a look of detachment. "No, I understand that Suzuya doesn't like your eyes at all, but from the beginning… I've seen my partner somewhere in yours. Maybe that's just my projection, or whatever… That's a fair inference. But you have the same unreachable distance about you, and the same ice in your eyes. They're familiar to me. And it made me think…"
"Twelve-kun," Izaya smiled thinly, "if you're implying that you're becoming attached to me, then I find that to be incredibly… cute. I warned you from the beginning that the connections that you're trying to forge will only hinder you, and the fact that you want to befriend me, of all people—why, it's just hilarious!"
"Oh, yes," Twelve answered warmly in turn. "It's very comical. I know that. Because just as I warned you… my partner said the very same thing to me." He beamed at the informant with narrowed eyes. "As sparks, we cannot burn alone, Izaya."
Izaya scoffed. "I don't need anything like connections or ties. I made that decision a long, long time ago, Twelve-kun."
"Then why did you say you were fighting for the one named Shizuo?"
He frowned.
"I'm not saying that you guys had that connection, by any means," Twelve shrugged. "But maybe, just maybe, you had longed for something like that. Could that be the truth? It sounds like a truth to me, over a lie."
"Hoh," Suzuya piped in, eyes wide in disconnected intrigue.
"If the only things that exist," said Twelve, "are things that sound like truths and things that sound like lies… then let's say that I've been trying to piece together a picture of Izaya Orihara that sounds like a truth rather than a lie. I can be wrong; I don't mind. But I'd like to get to know you." He smiled knowingly at the informant, and Izaya found himself narrowing his eyes warily. Oddly, his words brought him discomfort. "Let's say that Izaya, once upon a time, chose to disconnect himself from the world because he couldn't afford to care – for whatever reason. It could be selfish, it could be a defense, or it could be just because. In doing so, he shut himself out. That's not so bad – all three of us know the feeling of being shut out, don't we? We know how it feels to be alone in a crowded room, don't we? We're well acquainted the term loneliness, whether we're consciously aware of it or not. A-ya knows it too; I'm sure of it.
"Now, continuing with the tale of Izaya Orihara, let's say that he's a lying bastard. Let's say that he's manipulative and has caused some horrible things." Izaya almost began to speak, but Twelve only continued with more power. "He's caused conflict. He's a warmonger of the human mind. A terrorist – that's right! He's a terrorist! A real terrorist of psychology – you set off bombs in people's heads, in their relationships, and so on and so forth… Maybe Izaya has a goal in mind, but maybe he's just having a good time. That doesn't matter. He's satisfied, isn't he?" He looked at Izaya, who was just staring at him with his jaw set. Twelve released a heh. "Isn't he? Of course he's satisfied, but let's say that Izaya has taken himself so far down on this path that he's found himself all hollowed out and empty inside. Let's say that somewhere, somehow, he is still craving those troublesome things you call connections because Izaya is still human, and as we've established, we know all too well the word loneliness."
Twelve at last faced Izaya directly, and the informant actually found himself taking a step back. Hilarious. Twelve was smiling. "I guess my point is that I'm coming to think that all of that talk about how we don't need anyone else… that sounds like a lie. I want to work with you, Izaya." His eyes were shining with the light of sincerity, and that gentle smile – ah, such an expression was one he'd not often seen directed to him. In fact, only one other time, and that… (To think, that Shizuo would die for him!) …That surely didn't count.
Izaya didn't know what to make of Twelve, on the other hand. He found himself sneering at the brunette, spilling with cold mirth. "Do you really believe that I'll fall for something like that?" he leered. "Hah! I'm touched that you're trying so hard – I really am! But just because I love humans as a whole doesn't mean I can take kindly to you specifically. I'll concede that you're interesting – oh yes are you interesting! – but in the end, your efforts to 'reach me' are futile." His grin stretched from ear-to-ear. "Because I'm someone who doesn't want anybody to try and 'help' when I'm enjoying myself just fine. You're mistaken, Twelve-kun. I take joy in playing puppeteer, and there's no way I'll let myself get tied up in those precious strings of yours."
Twelve was unfazed. "I know about what a terrible person you can be," he admitted, and Izaya narrowed his eyes at him. "But we're all pretty terrible at some time or another. I've already pieced you together, the way I see it, and I'd like to try anyway. You think I'll back down from a challenge? I'd like to give you a chance… because we who've been shut out at some time or another aren't so alone when we're together… you know? No one deserves to be truly alone."
"You mock me," Izaya scoffed, derisive.
"I'm not trying to. I don't expect you to jump at the chance. You don't have to warm up right away. It takes a while for spring to bring flowers, you know? That being said, Izaya… someday, I would like to be your frie—…"
Twelve's expression went blank, perhaps just as confused as they all were. His brown eyes widened – they looked so tired now. Hurt. Izaya's mocking smile froze on his face; he couldn't quite react yet to the figure in the dark, nor the red dribbling from the corner of the terrorist's mouth.
"The heart is such a heavy, troublesome thing, isn't it?" spoke a low, deathly tone. Yato's eyes peered into Izaya's; the informant still didn't process what had just transpired. "Allow me to fix that," he said, and pulled the sword from Twelve's chest.
Yukiteru and Rika approached a building now on fire, frozen and unwilling to enter. The cloaked boy set Rika down on her feet, slow and gentle. "What happened?" asked Yukiteru faintly, and Rika closed her eyes. Beside them, unbeknownst to Yukki but known well to Rika, Hanyuu hovered with hands clutched tightly together.
"I-it… was Yato…," Hanyuu said tentatively, and Rika nodded. She opened eyes without warmth.
Could it really be… that Akise…? Her mouth downturned. No, no need to jump to conclusions. "This was Yato's doing," Rika spoke, and Yukiteru didn't respond, stepping towards the fire that gave them light. The sky was swelling with thick black – a storm was coming. "Yukiteru…," Rika tried again, but he only opened the door without a word. Frowning slightly, she followed after the other in deadened apprehension. Why should she be so perturbed by tragedy nowadays? There was no point.
Within the building, Minene's eyes flickered hazily to the figures entering. Reflecting on everything amongst the flames, she recalled how it felt to lose her parents all that time ago. All this time, what was it she longed for? I was trying to save Rika, wasn't I? she thought hazily. For as long as she'd been fighting, in the end, she'd only wanted to be saved, too… Someone… had better… take care of her.
And as Rika and Yukiteru looked at the bodies of Celty and Yoh and Minene, Rika of course approached her long-time teammate, crouching beside her and whispering an apology.
The terrorist smirked at her. "Y…ou guy…s better… win."
Rika's jaded eyes softened. "We will, Minene," she assured her, and Minene's eye lost what light it had left, leaving only the reflection of the flames. Expressionless, Rika stood as she heard the nervous skittering of the armadillo, scurrying to her side in all urgency. Blinking, she scooped Kincho up in her arms and looked to Yukiteru, who was staring at Celty and Yoh, trembling in place.
"What… is this?" His voice quivered hopelessly. Rika watched him wipe at his face with the crook of his arm. "What is this…?" She approached him quietly, thinking it best for him to be left with his thoughts for now. Standing at his side, she hoped that her presence could bring some form of comfort. She could only ignore Hanyuu, who was stammering 'I'm sorry's and whimpering in her own despair.
She saw no need to cry. Maybe this had never happened before, but somehow all ended the same. A dull ache consumed her from within.
"Yato… huh…?" said Yukiteru, and he proceeded to pick up his machine gun from beneath Celty's body, having left it with her. Rika supposed they hadn't had time to retaliate with it. Yukki paused, his eyes shrouded. He seemed to sway on his feet. Rika followed after him as he wandered to every room, then out the back door. A pool of blood was there, but nothing else awaited him save for the night. Wind gusted about them, the fire at their backs. "…Where's Akise?" he asked.
"Akise…" Rika looked back to the house, but there was no upstairs to it. "I'm not sure." She paused, waiting for Yukki to say something. It seemed he had nothing else to say, eerily quiet as he stood still, looking to the black sky with his cloak billowing in the rising wind. Deciding he was too quiet, she opened her mouth to speak when she saw his shoulders shaking. She stopped herself.
In the quiet beyond the crackling flames, laughter emerged. It began soft, barely contained, and then erupted in an outburst of hysterics. Yukiteru turned to look at Rika, and she could see his tear-streaked face in the light of the fire. His wide, blue eyes had a strange spark that was all too familiar. He was smiling. "This is alright. Isn't it, Rika?"
Her eyes narrowed slightly. She wasn't sure what he meant. "How so, Yukiteru?"
"So what if Yato betrayed us? So what if Akise—who knows what happened to Akise, right? And what does it matter?" He laughed with a hitch, an unnatural note to his tone. "This game is fake, Rika! Anyone can die, and it doesn't matter! We can kill whoever we want, and it's okay because in the end they'll come back, won't they?!"
Possessed with some whole new aura, Yukiteru cocked his machine gun and pointed it at Rika. "So if I kill you," he said, "it would bring me one step closer to the end, right?"
"Yukiteru," she said firmly, while Hanyuu fearfully covered her eyes.
He lowered the gun, tilting his head. "You're right… You're the only one I know that remembers other routes of the game… But on that token, you probably want to go back to the beginning by now, don't you? Do you think A-ya's right? What do you think?"
Rika stared at him, for once at a loss for words. It was true that it was Hanyuu that had reset her own world of the little town of Hinamizawa… Did she want to go back to the beginning? Of course she did. But…
"It's okay, Rika; we'll make it to the end, and we'll make sure the game masters bring everyone back," Yukiteru grinned. "And even if they don't, I'll go home and make sure that I become god so that I can bring everyone back – like Minene and Ciel and you and A-ya and C-ta and Keiichi and—and people like Yato can go ahead and DIE for all I care!" He dropped the gun to the ground and brought his hands to his face, staggering backwards before falling into a crouch on the wet ground. The rain began to fall again.
Rika began to approach with caution, but Hanyuu stopped her. "W-wait…" The young one looked closer, uneasy. Around Yukiteru, she could just make out the shriveling of the grass at his feet in the light of the fire. This influence of wilting death began to spread, and Rika took a step back. Kincho was trembling in her arms.
"Yukiteru… Please regain your senses…"
The shadow of his cloak seemed to flicker before he looked at her with utmost despair. "What else am I supposed to do?" he asked weakly.
"I don't know," she answered honestly.
"What else… am I…?" He buried his face in his hands again. "How could I have thought I could save everyone? I-I… don't need anyone else… Not Akise… or you… Not Yuno… or—A-ya… I just—need myself. That's it… So… I can—do stuff on my own. Right? That's right… I'll—kill everyone… in order… to save them all. Yeah?"
"Yukiteru," Rika said seriously, "I don't think that you're thinking logically—"
"Don't SAY THAT," he snapped, and broke down into sobs.
The child closed her mouth again. She decided it was best to leave him be, and so she knelt there on the wet grass, already soaked – not that Yukiteru wasn't. It was all she could do as he wailed to the storm clouds above, impartial to their suffering.
"It's not like you're the only one," she whispered, bowing her head. Minene's somehow reassuring smirk came to mind. Her eyes burned. "Really… What am I supposed to do, either? Yukiteru…"
Hands clutching at her black skirt, she mourned their losses alongside him.