Disclaimer: I don't own The Dark Knight. Only this plot.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Joker

"…I never should have…let you so close…" Batsy whispers. "You shouldn't be able to…do this to me…"

"And yet, I can." I laugh as I touch him, watching as he turns his head, dark eyelashes fluttering like wounded bats. "And you're a-okay with it all, judging by your…reactions. Which are great, by the way. Keep 'em going!"

I pick up one of the bottles of body paint—mmmm, strawberry—and dip the brush in, tapping the edge of the bottle to get the more, ah, globby drops off. I glide the brush over his stomach in an arc, giggling at the way Batsy shivers.

"Cold?" I grin and begin to draw strawberry-flavored bats on his legs and feet—though that doesn't work exactly how I want it, since apparently Batsy's…ticklish.

"Stop that."

I crouch down near his feet and run my tongue over the soles, salt mingling with strawberry I've painted there too, watching as he wriggles to move away.

"…It tickles."

Oh.

He nearly kicks me until I hold his foot down with one hand. Funny, he isn't laughing or anything…

I decide to be nice tonight. I lick away the little sugary doodles as he tilts his head back, his eyes growing hazy. And oh so mesmerizing.

"Y'know, I'm surprised you decided to show up. You could have just let all this slide…or gone after the boys. But you didn't." I run my hands over his scars, my palms resting on his belly. "Any idea why?"

Batsy slowly opens and closes his eyes, perfect teeth glittering in the light. "I don't know."

I grin and pat his cheek mockingly. "You're horrible when it comes to lying."

The carols keep playing.

"If you're so smart…don't you already know all the answers?" Batsy turns his head to one side, trying to get away from my touch, it seems…but that look in his eyes isn't lying.

"Because I thought that maybe you were learning something lately about yourself. Guess not."

I loosen the suspenders a bit with one hand as I clean away the rest of the body paint, to make sure Batsy doesn't lose any, ah, circulation. Batsy looks gratefully at me before his eyes close shut again as I return to my…unfinished business.

"Well, Batsy, would you just look at that!" I pat his shoulder as a way of congratulating him. "Mr. Glum's waking up!"

"Why does it need a name?"

"Everything needs a name," I reply, names far from important to me right now.

I distract him from the little things like I always do, let him focus on the, ah, big picture—basically, what we're doing and why. I watch his mouth slowly open, breathing quickly, his whole body flushed. The scent of him is wonderful—spicy, musky, rich. The heat of his body is almost too much—and his eyes, that look he has, that look…

Tonight I do aim to please. But I want to be selfish too, sooooo…

"Time for Mr. Giggles to go spelunking!" I slide off my clothes—but keep my garter on for the hell of it. "C'mere. Oh, wait, let me, ah, help you…"

I move toward Batsy and settle myself beside him on the pillows.

"But before Mr. Giggles and Mr. Glum have another, ah, epic adventure…are you okay with this, Batsy?"

Batsy looks at me, clearly surprised and…suspicious. "Why do you care?"

Suddenly I feel a lot more awkward than I should. I fidget with the blankets before answering. "…Let's talk about that later, okay?"

"No. Now."

"Let's get settled, and I'll tell you."

After a few more moments of getting comfortable and ready to go, I find myself staring at a dreamy-eyed Batsy, with his hair slowly flopping into his eyes, too-perfect lips open, body warm against mine. The tiny bells chime out a slow tune, sounding more like chained prisoners than a merry tinkling.

I'm surprised at how…light I feel. I'm taking my time, letting Batsy deal with the…sensuality of it all. Mr. Glum is becoming a little more enamored of me as well, if "he" is anything to go by…

The carols keep playing.

"Joker…" Batsy growls, as I keep him from toppling over and smacking his head on the headboard, "…What's with the pace…?"

"Wasn't this…one of your reasons for, ah, bailing recently? Y'know, the old 'am I just a toy to you' stuff they pull in the movies? Well, I'm…honoring that." I grin up at him as reassuringly as I can.

"…Why?"

I sigh. "Because, the better class of criminal has standards, y'know. A good, ah, entertainer needs to engage with his fellow actors, so that he can cue the audience. Draw them in."

Batsy's legs shudder as I rest my hands on his hips.

"That doesn't…really answer my question."

I grin. "Oh, good." I give Mr. Glum the attention he deserves for a few moments, watching as Batsy's eyes close for a moment, lost in his own…little emotions.

Batsy suddenly shudders as I put a little more force behind me, giving him something a bit more…familiar. It's almost time…but my mind is wandering…not the best time for that…but I can't help thinking…we've fought, we've bantered, we've run through Gotham like kids in a playground, jumped each other's bones like the world's going to end, given each other scars that'll never, ever leave, we've given each other heaven and hell—and yet, we're both here. Together.

So there's these two guys in an interrogation room…oh, I'll make one up later.

The two of us start losing control. But we can't yet. There's still so much to do…

"Joker…"

I instantly stop.

"Nononoooo, Batsy, not yet." I'm causing myself no small discomfort, either, but this is important. "Have you figured out why you came here yet?"

"I told you, I don't know!"

"Think about it. I'll be…patient."

Batsy glares at me and tries to get me to do something, but I'm just as stubborn as he is. "You're a bastard."

"And proud of it. But that's not a good answer."

Batsy's scowl deepens. "It keeps you out of trouble."

"Close, but no. Try again."

"It keeps Gotham in balance."

I giggle. "Oh, sure, Mr. Glum's the other Dark Knight of Gotham. Try again."

Finally, he seems to come to a decision. "I came here…because of a bad habit."

"Close enough. Need me to loosen your arms a bit?" I ask, hoping he's not trying to be brave or anything.

"A bit more…would be good."

I do as he says. "This better?"

Batsy doesn't answer. He can't answer, not in the, ah, place and time he's in. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say he was melting in our joint heat. I'm pretty sure the windows are all fogged up too…and Mr. Glum's, ah, absolutely chipper.

Finally, it's the shuddering, feral expression on Batsy's face (decadent, some poets could call it) that sends me over the edge. I watch as his mouth opens wide in that wordless, soundless scream I know so well, and the world goes away for a few wonderful, electric moments.

When it starts to piece itself back together, I realize the carols are still going.

"Someone should turn that off," Batsy mumbles into my shoulder, grumpy as ever.

"In a sec," I assure him, not really wanting to get up. "Do you like your presents so far?"

"I've had more than enough."

I chuckle and rest my hand on his back. "Eventually, we're both gonna need to get up. Can't fight fate."

Batsy rolls over onto the blankets, eyes dark and drowsy.

"Yeah…later."