Chapter 36

"It's been hard on us, especially for Maura. She loved Emma. She doesn't realize it, but she's a great mother."

"I know she is. I've always seen it."

"She's so caring, ma. She takes such good care of everyone in her life."

Maura listened to Jane and Angela whispering, her head resting in her wife's lap. Her eyes were closed and Jane probably assumed she was still sleeping.

"Y'know we sort of got married." Maura heard her wife say in her soft, husky voice.

"And I wasn't invited?"

She felt her wife softly laugh beneath her. "Yes you were; you just didn't show up."

"Yeah, sure." Angela chuckled softly.

Strong, rough hands softly caressed Maura's hair. "We can't get married officially or anything but I just… I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Jane spoke softly, careful not to wake her wife and slightly uncomfortable sharing these deep feelings. Maura tried her best not to smile and to keep her tears at bay, wanting to catch the rest of this conversation.

"I've never seen you like this before, Janie. I can tell you love her a lot."

Jane shrugged carefully. "I've never felt like this before. I love her more than life itself."

Maura felt her heart swell with love. Hearing her wife saying these words made her love the brunette more and more every second.

"She feels the same way, you know. It's obvious."

Jane sighed. "I hope so."

"She does."

"I don't know what I'd do without her, ma."

"You don't have to find out, she's right there isn't she? And as far as I can tell, she's not going anywhere."

"I'm so afraid of losing her." Jane's voice was barely audible, turning into a soft whisper.

"Fear comes with this world. We're all afraid. You just have to find the hope, the strength and the love to keep going, to hold on. It'll be worth it in the end."

Maura had always been impressed with Angela's wisdom, but she still got amazed by how well she knew her daughter and how the older woman knew exactly what to say to comfort Jane.

"I just want to make her happy." Jane replied softly.

"I think you're already making her happy. Even if this world is making it seem like we'll never feel truly happy again."

A long silence fell while Jane kept carefully stroking her wife's hair. Maura enjoyed the touch, relaxing in her lover's lap. After a while, she slowly opened her eyes, looking up into loving, dark eyes.

"Good morning." Jane whispered as she smiled.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Maura sat up to kiss her wife. She tried to pour all her love in a long, deep kiss.

Jane hummed contently as they broke the kiss. "What was that for?"

Maura shrugged, smiling at the sparkle in the detective's eyes. "Because I love you. And you make me happy. And I love you just as much as you love me. Maybe even more."

Jane averted her gaze, the corners of her mouths slightly curling up in a loving smile. "I'm losing my detective skills. I didn't even notice you were awake."

Maura laughed, kissing the smile she loved so much. After breaking the kiss, she turned to look at Angela who was helping TJ eating some beans.

"Did you sleep well, Angela?" Maura asked.

"Yes I did. TJ woke me up a little early though." Angela playfully tickled the boy, causing him to giggle.

TJ offered his grandmother a spoonful of beans, spilling some on his shirt. "Gramma beans?" She asked.

Angela smiled. "No darling, you eat them." She turned to her girls, gratefulness showing in her eyes. "What are we going to do?"

Maura looked at her wife and sighed deeply, remembering their short conversation about the farm last night.

"We stayed at a farm for a while." Jane said. "It's a pretty long drive, but it's a big farm and it's secure. It had a well full of water and quite some food. It's a beautiful farm, quiet, peaceful…"

"Is it still safe?" Angela asked.

"I think so. When we drove up there, we didn't see a walker or a person for miles. Same when we left to Atlanta." Jane replied.

"Atlanta?" Angela looked confused. Apparently Jane hadn't told her everything that happened yet.

Maura looked at Jane, who sighed deeply. The brunette put an arm around Maura's shoulders. "Emma got sick from drinking contaminated water. We knew there might be medical care in Atlanta, but we didn't make it in time." Jane said softly, wiping a tear from her wife's cheek.

"I'm so sorry." Angela said softly.

Maura felt her wife's lips pressing against her temple. "It's okay. It's better this way. She was too sweet, too fragile for this world." Maura said softly.

They were quiet for a moment while they watched TJ spoon beans out of a plastic bowl.

"So, the farm?" Jane suggested, raising her eyebrows.

"Anything sounds better than this place right now." Angela smiled and stood up to clear away the now empty bowl. She placed TJ on the bed and walked to the kitchen.

Maura weighed the options again. She liked the farm. It had been nice and quiet. They had to go for a supply run to gather enough food first, but they had plenty of water in the well (if it was boiled first at least). It was secure and free from monsters. There was a chance it was taken by other people, but she knew that wasn't likely.

"You know that limits the chances of finding your father and Tommy?" Maura said softly to her wife as she put a strand of loose hair behind Jane's ear.

Jane sighed and looked at the doctor with sad eyes. "Yeah. I know." She paused for a moment, looking at her mother who came back from the kitchen. "But I have no clue where to start and I can't put everyone in danger by looking for them." She rested her head on top of TJ's thin blonde hair.

Maura kissed the brunette's cheek. "The farm." She stated.

They left the building and went for a short supply run throughout Boston. They searched houses and offices, finding some food and drinks. Jane particularly was very excited about finding a few bottles of Pepsi with an acceptable expiration date. Once they made sure they had enough supplies to last for a while, they headed back to the car.

"Hey, look what I found." The doctor heard her wife call her and looked around, seeing her wife carrying a few cans of spray paint. "I have an idea. I don't know exactly where the farm is, but I know it's in that direction." Jane pointed to her left, to the road that would lead them out of Boston. "Maybe dad and Tommy will come back to Boston, maybe they're already here. What if we leave a message for them? Telling them to come to the farm? If they go in or out of Boston, they have to take this road. All the other roads are overrun."

"I don't know, Jane. We don't want unfriendly visitors." Maura said, hesitant about the idea.

"We're not giving them directions or anything. It has to be some kind of cryptically."

"Yeah," Angela agreed, "we can tell them to go towards your grandmother's old house. She lived just outside of the city in that direction. Nobody else will understand."

"Yeah, Yeah! Good idea mom." Jane smiled at her mother and placed a grateful kiss on Angela's cheek.

She ran towards a wall next to the street leading out of the city and started spraying.

'Frank and Tommy R., follow the direction of Grandma's old house. We'll be at the farm. Please come. Angela, TJ, Jane and Maura.'

"If they're alive, they'll come look for us." Jane said while she walked back to the car.

Maura reached up to sweetly kiss Jane's temple. "They'll find us." She said softly.

Jane sighed deeply. "Are we ready to go?"

Angela and Maura nodded and got in the car, letting Jane drive them out of the city.

Angela and TJ were in the backseat, Maura in the passenger's seat, her hand resting on the familiar spot on Jane's upper leg.

Jane moved her gaze from the road to her wife's eyes, giving her a loving and hopeful smile. Maura squeezed the brunette's leg, smiling as she felt tears burning in her eyes. With Angela and TJ in the backseat and the love of her life behind the wheel, she actually felt happy again. She hoped for a quiet and peaceful time at the farm and she hoped her share of pain in this world was over now.

A/N I'm working towards an ending of this story! I think there will be one more chapter (maybe two), and then it'll be finished. I can't thank you all enough for your kind words, feedback and support! I have another fanfic in the pipeline; I hope to see you there! :D