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Italics are flashbacks and thoughts to oneself

Bold is Demon's talking

Bold Italic is the demon holders talking back to the demons

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Disclaimer: Is Lee getting chased by Seme's that want him as their Uke? No? Then I don't own Naruto.

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Title: Ikiryou

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Lee gathered himself together later than he wanted. He wiped his eyes and breathed in and out, counting the seconds in between until he felt calmer. When he was able, he folded Gaara's letter then rolled Itachi's. He gave Itachi's to the crow and gave it a kiss on its head with a whispered thank you. It pressed its head against his cheek before flying off and disappearing.

Lee stared for longer than he should have then finally closed the window.

He turned his gaze onto Gaara's letter and had a moment of indecision. Should he really send it? Was it right?

Did right even matter?

In the end, he knew it didn't. He had to make sure his kittens had as many people on their side as he could trust. That number was small but they were worth it. Shikamaru already promised, he would send the letter for Gaara so that was another. He knew Itachi would keep Sasuke as safe as possible and though he hoped the man would do the same for Sakura and Naruto, he would content himself with knowing that Itachi would dispose of him just in case something went terribly wrong.

There was also Kakashi –he had to talk with the man but he wasn't ready…it probably didn't matter that he wasn't though- and if Lee could find him, he would get Jiraiya to make some sort of promise as well.

Lee sighed and slipped the letter into his pack, leaving his room. He stopped by Kakashi's room where he still felt everyone's chakra signatures and opened the door. He blinked as he saw Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto all curled up as the base of the bed, asleep. Kakashi was still sitting under the covers, his bowl of food resting on his lap as he stared at the three Genin. He turned his revealed eye to Lee and sat up straighter.

"I am going out for a bit. I-" Lee began but paused as Kakashi said his name. His tongue suddenly felt too heavy in his mouth and he couldn't bring himself to speak.

"Lee…" Kakashi repeated and there was a type of sadness in his tone that made it feel hard to swallow, "Lee, I-"

"Not now." Lee blurted and his heart squeezed at the hurt in Kakashi's eye. He shook his head, "Tonight, we will speak. When I come back and the kids are in their beds, that is when we can talk."

"…Alright." Kakashi said, "…Be careful."

"…Thank you." Lee said, allowing himself to smile at Kakashi.

He turned and left the room, leaving the house soon after. He made his way to the civilian post office and sent in his letter. It would get to Gaara in a week, maybe a little longer, depending on the travel. His hand had trembled as he gave his letter over but he couldn't take it back now –he could but he wouldn't let himself-. His mind blanked out as he stared at the white envelope but he turned on his heel and went back into the crowd outside.

He let his feet lead him to the public park and just tried to think.

What was his biggest problem?

Was it Orochimaru? Or was it the Akatsuki?

His problem was Orochimaru but the Akatsuki was a problem for Naruto and Gaara –and him but they didn't know who he was yet-. So the better question was, what did he think was the bigger problem? His mind said Orochimaru but…his heart said the Akatsuki. He didn't want such an organization existing, not when it meant danger for his kitten and his mate-to-be. Not even mentioning his Fallen Angel. That cult had his Angel and kept his Angel from his side!

Lee felt a rush of anger and clicked his teeth together. Then he abruptly remembered what Itachi said in the letter.

That damn snake, Orochimaru, who wasn't only after him but also had designs on Sasuke's eyes. The man hadn't hinted towards Sasuke after that first fight and he'd foolishly thought that it had been the end of that but it was Orochimaru. The man was more likely to grab Sasuke and him both.

Lee clicked his teeth together even harder and his fist shot out, smashing through a tree.

"I don't know what the tree did but I'm sure it's extremely sorry."

Lee's head jerked back and he turned to see Jiraiya a few steps behind him. His cheeks warmed in embarrassment but he just turned a glare towards the ground and pressed his lips together.

"Hey," Jiraiya said, his voice going lower as he stepped beside Lee, "What are you thinking about now?"

"…Too much." Lee whispered, "Jiraiya…my kittens are in danger. I cannot stand that!" he hissed, "What am I supposed to do to protect them? The Akatsuki want Naruto and Orochimaru wants Sasuke's eyes. How am I supposed to protect them? I-" he slightly choked and felt his eyes burn, "I am not that strong…"

What would he do if he saw Kabuto? That man scared him more than Orochimaru ever could, and he did it with only a sentence. He'd like to think that he'd immediately fight –but who was he kidding. He was a coward. He knew that he'd just freeze in fear-. Lee shakily inhaled then paused as he felt a hand against his back. He slowly turned back to Jiraiya and reluctantly looked up at the man.

"All you are supposed to do is live." Jiraiya said, his expression and voice determined, "Live and be happy with those you love. Let me worry about the rest for now and just relax. I will do everything I can to make sure Orochimaru can't get you or Sasuke, the same with the Akatsuki. Trust me on that."

Lee blinked and stared at Jiraiya with slightly wide eyes before slowly closing them and stepping closer until he could rest his head against the older mans' chest.

"...Okay." Lee whispered, "Okay, I...trust you. I trust you."

Jiraiya didn't say anything more but put his hand on Lee's back instead. The warm, heavy weight felt nice and Lee stayed there for a few moments longer before he felt familiar chakra nearing. Lee reluctantly moved back then looked towards Sasuke's approaching figure. He smiled fondly yet felt tired.

"Sasuke, why are you not at home?" Lee asked

"Everyone's worried." He said, sparing a nod to Jiraiya in greeting then going to Lee's side, "I said I'd find you."

Lee chuckled and nudged Sasuke's shoulder before leaning against him, "Alright, I know a summoning when I hear it. Are the others getting so restless?"

"You didn't say where you were going or when you were coming back." Sasuke said, shrugging the shoulder that Lee wasn't against. It made Lee chuckle again and he teased,

"Oh, my apologies! I was completely in the wrong!"

"As long as you understand." Sasuke quipped back, his lips twitching into a smirk.

Lee laughed and curled his arm around Sasuke's. He looked back at Jiraiya and smiled at the older man, mouthing 'Thank you'. Jiraiya gave him a warm smile back and Lee felt happy again.

Yes, things would be okay. No matter what happened to him, things would be okay for his kittens.

Lee walked back home with Sasuke, whispering with the boy along the way. When they got back home, Lee quietly asked Sasuke if they could sleep together that night. Sasuke nodded his acceptance, slightly pressing his shoulder against Lee's again. When he looked, Sasuke was smiling. Lee smiled warmly and kissed Sasuke's cheek before sending him up the stairs.

Lee stared after Sasuke for a moment then sighed and made his way to Kakashi's room. He stopped in Naruto's room first where he felt Naruto and Sakura's chakra.

"Hey you two." Lee said

"Kaa-chan!" They called out, facing him. Then Naruto continued, "Where were you?!" and Sakura added, "We were worried."

"I just dropped off a letter. I did not want to wake you up. You all looked so cute, sleeping together." Lee said, slightly teasing but meaning his words, "Anyway, it is late. You two should sleep. I will see you in the morning."

He left after they said that they would and made it to his own room next, where Sasuke already was. He knew he was stalling.

"Sasuke?" Lee said, peeking into his own room. He smiled as Sasuke turned to him, already getting ready to lay down, "I will be right in. I have to speak with Kakashi for a moment. You do not have to wait up."

"Okay. I'll be going to sleep then. Don't take too long." Sasuke said, slipping into the bed.

"Goodnight, my wolf." Lee said warmly, slowly closing the door.

He stayed there for a few moments longer before taking in a deep breath and heading to his final destination. He stopped in front of Kakashi's door and raised his hand. He hesitated for a second before knocking.

"Come in." He heard Kakashi's muffled voice and opened the door.

Lee closed it behind him and looked towards Kakashi. The man was sitting on the bed like earlier but this time he was facing Lee, his bare feet on the floor. Strange, how seeing Kakashi's feet bare felt...intimate.

"You wanted to talk?" Lee murmured, slowly tilting his head as he leaned against.

"Lee." Kakashi said, just as he did earlier, his tone seeming to convey everything. Only slightly strained as if trying to hide it and a tinge of something sad and maybe a little desperate. Did Kakashi even know how he sounded to Lee's ears? It wasn't fair.

"Do not-" Lee began, slightly choking as he bit out, "Do not say my name like that." he bit out, "You do not get to sound so-...You took on Uchiha Itachi! You could have died!"

Lee turned his gaze to the floor, wrapping his arms around himself to stop the shaking he knew would begin, "Do you not know what would happen to the others if you were to die? Maybe you think that they were joking, but they truly think of you as a father figure! Naruto and Sasuke have no one to claim as family besides us, and even Sakura thinks of us as her family. She does not even speak of her actual parents anymore!" He hissed, making sure not to be too loud though he wanted to shout.

"I had to fight-" Kakashi began but Lee cut him off.

"For Konoha, yes?" He spat, "I know very well, the truth of Konoha. It is duty...but what about us?! What about- what about me...?" Lee's face flushed as his voice broke and he dug his nails into his own arms. He felt slightly ashamed for letting himself break so quickly but he couldn't stop.

"I do not want to lose anyone else! Not even to this stupid village!" He was saying too much, especially about insulting the village. He knew it could be counted as treason and Kakashi would be duty bound to take him in, "I owe this village nothing! And I do not want it to take away the ones I have finally come to love."

Hands gripped his shoulders and Lee's head snapped up. He stared up at Kakashi's now blurry -and bare- face and squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears. Those same hands gripped his face and Lee inhaled sharply, reaching up and clinging to Kakashi's wrists.

"You won't lose any of us." Kakashi said, his voice hard with a promise even he knew he shouldn't be saying, "I won't let anything happen to us!" Yes he knew he be saying this but he was still begging Lee to believe him and begging Kami to let this be a promise he could finally keep.

"How can you promise-" Lee began, tightening his desperate grip on Kakashi's wrists but he couldn't finish.

Kakashi had kissed him. Lee could feel his lips already bruising under the hard kiss but he clung to the 'promise' and kissed back. He whimpered as his back hit the door behind him and had to grab onto Kakashi's shirt to feel stable. His jerked, his body twitching as a tongue suddenly slipped into his mouth. It was wet and hot and Lee felt his heart pound in his chest. He gripped the fabric of Kakashi's shirt, almost ripping it as he felt his legs threaten to fail him.

Kakashi pushed one of his hands into Lee's hair and the other went to his hip as if he knew Lee would fall the moment he stopped. He almost lost himself completely in the kiss but forced himself to finally pull away when all he wanted to do was continue. Kakashi gripped Lee's hip tightly as the boy began to slid down the door and said, "Because I swear it. I will protect this."

Lee panted softly, his heart still pounding in his chest. He pressed his lips together, tears blurring his sight again, "It is a promise. You sealed it. You cannot- You cannot break this promise."

"I won't." Kakashi whispered and his hand slightly trembled as he cupped Lee's face, "I won't."

Lee felt himself tremble and he leaned into Kakashi's hand, slightly turning his face into his large, warm palm. He released a long breath then pressed a kiss to the flesh there, whispering, "Thank you. I-...thank you."

Kakashi's other hand went back up to his other cheek and he cupped Lee's face, leaning down again. Lee looked up as he felt warm air brush over his lips and found himself staring at Kakashi's eye again. His gaze slowly traveled down and he took in Kakashi's bare face at his leisure, but...the man was coming even closer.

...Why? He wasn't going on a mission so this wasn't just affection to remind him to come back, and they already sealed their promise. Lee felt his heart speed up in his chest and slowly, it started to click in his mind. Then Lee felt Kakashi's lips on his own again.

Lee shakily inhaled against Kakashi's mouth and he reached up, gripping Kakashi's shirt again. The kiss wasn't so hard this time, more...soft, slow. It made him feel fuzzy, like someone was stuffing cotton into his head. He shivered as Kakashi pulled him close and he instinctively curled his arms around Kakashi's neck.

In the end, it was him who broke the kiss first.

"Kakashi..." Lee murmured, tilting his head down, "Do you...do you really..." like? love? Lee didn't even know the right words to use. It didn't matter as Kakashi answered anyway.

"Yes." Kakashi said, his voice slightly hoarse, "I shouldn't...but I do. Forgive me..."

"Why? Why should you not? Is that not the glory of emotion? Being able to feel for whoever you want?" Lee asked, his voice going quiet as it felt wrong to talk above a whisper.

"But you're so young." and if Kakashi sounded tormented by that, well...

"What does age have to do with anything?" Lee asked, "Age does not define our past. What we go through...you went trough war at my age, and I..." Lee bit his tongue. He still didn't want to talk about it. The only people he could would be Gaara and Itachi. Gaara because the boy understood, and Itachi because his Angel saved him. If Itachi asked, Lee would spill everything.

"Life is not so fair as to allow certain children to grow up normally." Lee finished. He took a breath and looked up into Kakashi's eye, raising one hand and stroking Kakashi's cheek.

"Here is something more important, Kakashi. Do you really think that I am good enough for you?" At the surprise on Kakashi's face Lee chuckled humorlessly, "You did not even think about that. You know what I am, Kakashi, but there is more to it than that. I hold Matatabi, the only female demon. I might be human in body but demonic instinct rules me. Think about that first, my dear Kakashi...then talk to me again."

Lee pulled back and opened the door behind him. He stared at Kakashi's face then gave him a small smile before closing the door between them. Lee made himself walk back to his room though all he wanted to do was fall to his knees.

He didn't know if he even said the right things. He never faced someone like...that, without Mother to guide him. He wasn't good at explaining. He was barely learning the different emotions that came with being human. Did he just screw up what he had with Kakashi? He didn't know. He didn't know many things.

Lee kind of wished that he never met all these people. Things were easier when he only had his Angel on his mind.

Still, Lee got to his room and felt a sort of relief when he saw Sasuke already asleep in his bed. Sasuke...Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. His wolf, his kitten. His connection to Itachi yet even if he wasn't, Lee would still love him. Sweet boy who needed a family that wouldn't leave or die on him. Lee saw little things of himself in Sasuke, more so than in Naruto.

Naruto was special. He knew hurt, he knew rejection and hate, but Naruto never lost hope. He had a light inside that was always shining, always burning.

Lee had let his own light die so long ago.

Then there was Sakura. She had a family, she had never suffered loss as greatly as any of them, but she had empathy. She could connect with anyone if she tried and she kept things from being dark. She was a light on her own and she had that instinct to protect, to heal.

His kittens were perfect for each other.

Did they even really need him?

No, they didn't, not like he needed them. Still, it wouldn't stop Lee from trying. He would make them dependent on him. He would make it so they couldn't even think of him not being there beside them, because-...

Because he couldn't imagine his life without them anymore.

And that was terrifying.

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