(Elle)
June is already at the house when Lee and I arrive, but no sign of Noah or his dad yet. June shoos Lee off to the kitchen under orders to help my dad and Brad finish getting lunch ready, then sits the two of us down in the living room.
"Here," she says, handing me a small bag. "I'd meant to give this back to you when we had dinner, but I completely forgot."
I'm not sure what June would have to give back to me until I look in the bag and feel my cheeks blaze. It's the tell-tale shirt, the one that I'd gotten soaked and sandy at the Pier, then forgotten in the dryer at Noah's house, now neatly folded and tucked into white tissue paper.
"I thought you might want that back." June says with a mischievous look, laughing at my reaction.
"I, um, yeah. Thanks. Although, it's going to be a while before I can wear this again."
"Do you need to go shopping?" The longing in June's tone is evident.
"I actually do. I made Lee go with me this morning, but he was entirely unhelpful and then a scary saleslady told him he couldn't be near the dressing rooms, so I didn't have a chance to buy much."
"Maybe next weekend we could go, if I can steal you away from Noah for a bit?"
I blush again. "Yeah, I'd like that. Speaking of, are Noah and Matthew still at your house? Was their whole talk... going okay?"
"Oh, don't worry. You know Matthew's not nearly as upset as Noah thinks he is, right? Those two just cannot talk about anything without butting heads."
"You think?"
"Matthew hasn't yet accepted both of his boys are old enough to figure out their own lives. Noah hasn't yet realized that his dad wanting to give advice doesn't mean his dad disapproves of what he's doing. Honestly, I think they're arguing more about Noah's job decisions than anything involving you or this baby."
"Matthew doesn't think I'm... dragging Noah down?"
"Why in the world would he think that?"
"Because I'm—saddling Noah with this baby. Tying him down." I look down, fidgeting with my hands.
"You didn't do anything Noah didn't also do. I do recall how this works, you know."
"We, ah, we weren't being completely... irresponsible, you know. Just, I guess, unlucky." I can't believe I'm telling June this, but I just need to get it off my chest. We did actually listen to all those very uncomfortable lectures of hers.
June laughs. "It happens, Elle. And it was still both of you."
"I guess."
"Anyway, regardless of how this happened, I promise you Matthew doesn't think you're dragging Noah down. And he's always liked you. He's just a worrier, and I know he has a list of things he wants to talk to you both about. But I've already told him today's lunch is not the time for that. Oh, Elle, I am just so glad to have all of you here again. It's been too long."
"Yeah, definitely too long." I give June an awkward smile, because we both know why it's been so long.
"And next time, bring Mickey. I need to thank her for watching out for you and my grandchild."
"Since I was too clueless to figure it out myself, you mean?"
"Oh, honey, I should have seen it too. You looked so pale at Christmas, and you flinched every time I offered you food."
"Except for that pie. That pie you made was the first thing that had tasted good in weeks."
"Well, I'm glad for that. I did almost ask you what happened in October, that evening. It was so obvious something had gone wrong, especially after Noah didn't show. But then you and Lee holed up in his room, talking, and I figured I should stay out of it."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'd seen Noah. I just... there was a lot going on and I felt pretty terrible about all of it. And I do want to tell you about it, at some point."
"Another time, if you want. But Elle, you don't owe me explanations. I'm happy enough knowing you two found your way back together, no matter how you got there."
"I still... there are still things I want to tell you."
"Then whenever you want, we'll talk."
June pulls me into a hug, and I relax against her shoulder a minute, so grateful to have her back. Suddenly I remember my earlier impulse purchase. I'd intended to bring it out at lunch, but now I want to have this moment with June, alone.
"I, ah, have something for you." I tell June as I rise from the couch and retrieve a gift-wrapped bundle from my bag. I'd asked the store for the plain wrapping paper, to make the contents less obvious.
"For me?" June's confusion turns to shocked delight as she tears the paper and pulls out a tiny dress in a cheery floral print. She stares at me, as if awaiting confirmation.
"I know you said you wanted to get to shop for tiny dresses, so maybe next time we can go together?" I ask her with a nervous smile.
I am suddenly swept back into June's arms. "A girl? Oh, I am so thrilled. I would have been thrilled either way, but I have to admit I'm extra thrilled now."
"We were going to tell everyone at lunch, but I couldn't wait. But can you pretend to be surprised when we do announce it?"
"I'm sure I'll have no trouble tearing up all over again." June laughs. "Oh, Elle, I'm just so happy for you. A baby girl."
June's expression turns wistful, and I sense we're thinking about the same thing. Or rather, the same person, the one whose absence, over years dulled to a familiar background ache, is suddenly sharp and searing again.
"She would have been thrilled too. And not just about a granddaughter. About all of this, the two of you together." June whispers into my hair.
"You think?"
"I know."
I let June hold me tighter, and I'm not sure how long we stay like that, silently thinking of her. It's the sound of tires on the gravel driveway that finally has me sit up, and I look out the window to see Matthew and Noah step out of a car. The same car, so I guess at least they're still speaking to each other enough for that.
I meet them at the door and it's more than a little awkward, greeting Matthew. He smiles when he sees me, although I can also see the discomfort in his eyes as he takes in the sight of me. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit, but I have a feeling that the specter of me, pregnant, was one of those things he dreaded in the abstract for a long time, and isn't quite sure what to do with now that it's a reality.
"Elle, hello. We've missed seeing you this winter. And I was glad to hear from Noah that this is all... going well."
Which isn't quite the same as congratulating us, or saying he's happy for us, but it'll do for now. Noah is rolling his eyes at me from behind Matthew, and I can tell he's stifling a laugh at his dad's stiff attempt at cordiality. It's honestly not all that different from how Matthew's always been. Sometimes I wonder whether he and June are an opposites attract situation or whether he's got a secret sentimental side that only she knows about.
Dad appears, rescuing us from further awkward small talk by announcing that Matthew and Noah are just in time and lunch is ready. I watch with nervous curiosity as Noah reaches to shake Dad's hand and instead finds himself pulled into a brief one-armed hug. I know they've talked at least once, although I think this is the first they've seen each other since the news. I look at Dad, and the smile he's giving Noah is warm and genuine.
I'd dreaded telling Dad I was pregnant, convinced he'd be so disappointed, so furious with both of us. But he hasn't been. He's been concerned, and for a long time he was frustrated that I still hadn't told Noah. But I guess Dad was telling the truth all those times he said he just wanted to see the two of us working this out together, because he's been surprisingly positive about all this since Noah and I started talking.
I start to follow Dad and Matthew to the dining room, but Noah draws me back, wrapping an arm around me and leaning down to kiss me.
"Noah!"
"What, concerned our parents will find out about us?" He chuckles before kissing me again.
"You're certainly in a good mood. Things went okay with your dad?"
"I'll catch you up later, but it was fine."
The annoyed look that passes over his face as he says it makes me suspect there's a little more to the story than fine, but that will have to wait.
June motions for me to sit next to her when we get to the dining room, and as I sit down I see Noah and Lee both step toward the seat on my other side. Thankfully, this time Lee notices he's being glared at and walks around the table to sit opposite me instead, smirking as he watches me reach for Noah's hand under the table and grip it for reassurance. Also watching and laughing is my dad, who hasn't missed a moment of this ridiculous fraternal interaction.
"Before we eat," June says, looking around the table, "I'd just like to say how happy I am to have all of us here together again. It just hasn't been the same since you kids started going off to college."
We all know that isn't the only reason family lunches have been incomplete for years, but I'm glad we're not going there. I wonder if June is going to say more, and I see Lee's mouth twitch as if about to let loose some smartass comment, but mercifully we all leave it there, distracted by Dad's carving of the roast chicken and our usual squabbles over who wants what piece.
Dad passes me the bottle of Tabasco without prompting and this time it's Lee staring in horrified fascination as I drown my mashed potatoes in it, while Noah just laughs. I'm starting to relax, but I'm very glad that we didn't wait until today to tell Noah's parents, suddenly imagining a much, much more awkward scene at the door.
Dad and June, bless them, are both working hard to keep this lunch feeling ordinary. Dad is asking Lee about his graduation plans, while June is chatting with me about Mickey and Brad is talking Noah's ear off about some video game, which really leaves only Matthew uncomfortably watching us all. We're all carefully avoiding the elephant in the room, and I can't help but giggle as it hits me that I am that elephant. Me and my rapidly expanding belly.
"You too, Elle?" Matthew asks absentmindedly after refilling June's wine glass.
"I'm good, thanks. Just, uh, water these days." I say, half embarrassed.
"Of course. I wasn't thinking." Matthew mutters. "Sorry, I guess I'm still, ah, getting used to the news."
"Me too," I admit, giving him a small smile that I'm pleasantly surprised to see returned.
And apparently everyone else overheard our exchange, because now they're all awkwardly quiet. Well, if we're finally acknowledging the elephant, might as well let Dumbo fly. I scoot my chair back so I can stand.
"Since we're all not talking about the same thing, maybe I should go ahead and say that Noah and I have some news." Lee smirks at me, one eyebrow high. "Ah, I mean, in addition to this news," I say as I wave at my belly. "Which you all already know about. Even if we didn't tell everyone as ... promptly as maybe we should have."
I think Noah realizes what I'm about to announce, because he turns to watch June with a sly smile. Probably I should fess up later that I already told her.
"Anyway, what I was going to say is that we wanted to let you all know that it's a girl. This baby, I mean. We found out on Friday."
Dad is staring at me with a suspiciously damp-eyed smile, and after a beat he rises from his chair and walks over to wrap me in an enveloping hug. He doesn't say anything, and he doesn't need to; we know we're both thinking the same thing. He laughs as he releases me and rests a hand on Noah's shoulder. "And, ah, good luck with that. May she be exactly as delightful and infuriating as her mother."
"Dad!" I yelp, just as Noah cheerily responds "That's the hope and fear, obviously."
"The alternative is taking after him, so they'd better hope Elle's genes dominate." Lee snarks. "Which we all know is what will happen, given who's always been in charge here," he adds, this time only loud enough for me and Noah to hear, and I'm fairly certain from Lee's sudden grimace that Noah's foot just accidentally collided with Lee's shin. It should probably worry me more the extent to which impending fatherhood and unclehood are making the two of them regress to childhood antics.
As promised, June is just as teary as the first time she heard the news, and she pulls me in for her own lingering hug as I sit back down. "A girl. Oh, I am so thrilled. So, so thrilled. I can't wait."
I see Lee laugh and look at Noah. "Makes you feel really warm and fuzzy, doesn't it, hearing how glad Mom is to finally get a girl?"
"Look, I tried to help," Noah replies. "I kept asking if we could swap you for Elle, back then. She was way less annoying."
"Which just makes this even weirder. I'm still not sure how I'm the only one in this family who sees the weirdness in this whole quasi incestuous situation."
"Get over it, Lee." June laughs. "And I'll have you know I loved having boys, even if you were both utter terrors. But yes, now I'm excited for a girl."
"Well, I'm not happy at all it's a girl." Brad declares dejectedly from the end of the table.
"Don't worry, Brad, I'm sure the next one will be a boy." Lee smiles innocently.
"LEE!" I sputter at the same time Noah whips his head up to stare at Lee with a warning in his eyes.
"I think one is quite enough for now," Dad laughs awkwardly.
"Oh, I'm glad to hear Lee is so excited for babies. But don't you think this one needs a cousin before we start worrying about siblings? Do you think you and Jenna might feel ready soon?" June asks him sweetly.
"Mom! Are you insane?" Lee gapes at her.
"Don't you want your kids to be compatible ages? You're going to have to hurry up." June chides him.
Lee looks completely gobsmacked, but I catch the twinkle in June's eye and realize she's having fun with him.
"I'm twenty-two."
"So am I." I point out helpfully, enjoying Lee's mounting panic.
"Literally THIS WEEK you lectured me about contraception."
"Well, I figured a reminder wouldn't hurt, given recent events. And see, Lee, it's not so funny when it's you being volunteered to have babies, is it? So lay off Elle and Noah. Mike's right, one is quite enough to worry about for now."
Now that the seal has been broken on the baby topic, the awkwardness that had hung over our earlier conversations has lifted. This finally feels like a normal family lunch again, and it's just... nice. Familiar. Comforting.
Dad and Matthew are talking, and while their voices are too low for me to overhear, I can guess the topic from their occasional glances my way. I can only hope Dad's confidence in us will rub off on Matthew, and I still need the story on this morning from Noah. He and Lee are arguing about something or other and Brad is hanging on their every word, sometimes interjecting his own comments, so eager to join in.
Not moving home feels a bit like abandoning Brad, even if that doesn't make any sense; I won't really be any less present than I was living on campus this year. It's just that I'd expected to come back here, so it's strange to realize my last day living at home may have passed without any of us knowing it. I guess all that assumes things will work out with Noah. But that's what I'm going to plan on, because worrying won't help any. And as I watch Brad stare at Lee and Noah with unconcealed admiration, I realize he's probably way more excited about Noah moving back to LA than he is sad I won't be moving home.
Noah's arm is propped on the back of my chair and he's casually playing with my hair as he chats with Lee and Brad, a detail I realize has not escaped June's notice as she gives me a knowing look.
"I'd missed this version of my son," she says, only loud enough for me to hear.
And yeah, I had too. And I'd missed this version of me.
"Hey, Noah, can I borrow your height for a minute? I need some books I can't reach." I call to Noah from the stairs as he's helping Brad clean up after lunch.
"Why do you insist on storing things out of your own reach, Shelly?"
"They're within my reach if I climb the shelf. But that's hard to do right now, and I was thinking you'd rather I not attempt it."
"Yeah, we're in agreement there." Noah mutters as he follows me up the stairs.
The instant we step into my room, I push the door closed behind us and pull him down for a kiss, walking him backwards to my bed.
"You don't actually need help with any books, do you?" Noah laughs as he sits on the bed and lifts me onto his lap.
"My room was very lonely. It's missed you."
"From the look your dad shot us, I don't think anyone else believed your book excuse either."
"So I'll make sure I'm carrying books when we go back downstairs."
"And when will that be? Exactly how slowly am I retrieving these books? Maybe we could tell them you needed me to alphabetize the bookshelves, too. That should buy us a solid half hour."
"Oh, don't give me that look. I didn't lure you up here to seduce you. Or at least not... that much. And I do actually need some books I can't reach. I just also wanted to do this."
"Are you sure you don't want the shelves alphabetized? I can alphabetize very quietly, and as quickly or slowly as you think we can get away with." His grin is almost enough to convince me.
"I don't doubt your alphabetization prowess, but the demonstration will need to wait. I really did just want to kiss you." I lounge back against the pillows, pulling Noah down with me, and we stay curled there a minute, just enjoying being here again. I wonder if he's also thinking about how long it's been since he was in this room.
"You rearranged everything," he comments eventually, so I guess we are thinking the same thing. "And repainted."
"You noticed?" I rearranged every room in the house at least twice while Dad was hospitalized. I had too many idle hours requiring distraction, and organizing felt like control.
"I do have quite a few memories of this room. Fond memories."
I prop myself on an elbow to look at Noah, my other hand playing with the buttons of his shirt. "I realized on the way over here I'd probably never live here again. Since we're moving in together, I mean."
"And—are you okay with that?" Noah asks after a pause.
"Yeah," I nod after my own long pause. "It was just a weird realization. When I packed up last August, I assumed I'd be back. I had no idea... well, about any of how this year would play out."
"Trust me, this year has been a surprise for me as well."
"A good one, I hope?" I'd meant it jokingly, but I find my voice shaking as I say it, and I can see from Noah's expression that he's taking the question seriously.
"There was some rough going for a while there. But this part, now? Yeah, the best surprise. And I don't just mean Dinah. All of it. You and me."
"You keep up this mushy talk and I might start to think you really like me."
"That's the plan, yes."