Author's Note: Fans, you've waited, and this is the chapter where Ace and Robin return! Yay!
Oh, just so you know, from when I post the next chapter to when I post chapter 38, there will be a special cover for this story to go along with chapter 37. Can anybody guess what it is?
Disclaimer: Nope. I only own my OCs.
Two days later, the bombings end, and we return to the District 13 Shopping Mall. Turns out, the Capitol only used beanbag bombs on us, so some poor, unfortunate soul has to clean up all of the silica beads and the ripped beanbags.
Unfortunately, for me, I still work at Hot Dog on a Stick.
"Hey, Hana, did you hear?" Heathcliffe asks as he approaches me.
"Hear what?" I ask.
"Holden and Smoker went to the Capitol to get Aki! I'm so glad that they're getting Aki!" Heathcliffe cheers.
"What about Ace and Robin?" I ask.
"They're getting Ace and Robin, too. They should be back by tonight," Heathcliffe tells me. "By the way, Ageha wants us to go back to District 12 to film."
When we get to District 12, Sanji tells us something that changes everything.
"Heathcliffe, why don't you be the star of this propo? Hana's done a lot of propos, and it's not fair that other Hunger Games Victors don't get their own propos," Sanji explains.
"Okay," Heathcliffe says like the Okay Guy meme. Sanji turns on the camera.
"Say whatever you need to say, Heathcliffe. Hell, even a shout-out to Aki-chawn would be nice," Sanji instructs. Heathcliffe takes a deep breath.
"President Pwngoat... Sold my body," Heathcliffe explains. "I know what you're thinking - How the fuck does a goat force somebody into prostitution? He's that evil. President Pwngoat did this to all of the attractive Hunger Games Victors. If you don't do it, he kills your family. At first, I kinda enjoyed it since I finally got laid, but then I met my girlfriend, fellow Victor Aki Chung-Feng, and I became sick of it. How did I get by? I had all of the Capitol people I slept with to pay me in their secrets and not money or gum. Here's what I know -"
Then, Heathcliffe goes on to list a whole bunch of people with dirty little secrets, like that All-American Rejects song. Affairs, tax evasion, bribes, it's all there. Heathcliffe's got enough info to write a tell-all book.
The next thing I know, Sanji and Heathcliffe finished filming the propo.
"I never want to sleep with anybody except Aki ever again!" Heathcliffe cries before he glomps me and cries his eyes out. I stroke his soft, thick hair.
"Your hair's so fluffy. We're opening a petting zoo," I say in a dazed tone of voice.
"What?!" Heathcliffe cries.
"Sorry, I was zoned out," I apologize. "Anyway, don't cry, Aki will be back tonight. She's safe with people who make references to Portal and work in malls."
That night, Heathcliffe and I decide to hang out at the Apple store until everyone comes back.
"I hope Holden's okay. The Capitol's a bad place," I say.
"He'll be fine. Holden and Smoker were going to use candy and booze to distract everyone so they can free the Victors," Usopp explains. We grow silent.
"They're here! We got them!"
Ageha runs into the store.
"Holden's back?!" I cry.
"Aki! She's okay!" Heathcliffe cries.
"Where can we see them?" Usopp asks Ageha.
"The hotel lobby. They'll be at the hotel in thirty minutes," Ageha explains. A few minutes later, the three of us are waiting in the hotel lobby.
"Hana, I'm back!"
Holden enters the room in a badass manner. His hair is matter with blood and grime, his clothes are torn, and he looks beat up and bloody.
But, still, I don't care! Holden's back, and he looks hot when he's beat up!
"Holden!" I yell as I run into his arms like a bad movie. We then have a brief, but hot, make-out session.
"Get a room!" Heathcliffe yells. Holden just gives him the middle finger. "Oh, shut up!"
I let go of Holden just as Smoker and Robin enter. Robin has earmuffs taped to her ears for some reason.
"Robin! Hey, Robin!" I shout.
"What?!" Robin shouts back. Smoker pats her shoulder.
"Shh... Shh... We did this for science," Smoker says re-assuringly to Robin.
"What?! What did Smoker say?!" Robin yells.
"Sarutobi-kun?! Sarutobi-kun!"
Heathcliffe runs up to a pretty, Chinese girl with silky, black hair and blue eyes. She's only wearing a towel.
"Oh, Sarutobi-kun, it was awful! The Peacekeepers locked me in a room and made me watch every single episode of Doctor Who that has the Tenth Doctor in it and Scrubs! I thought I was going to develop a crush on David Tennant or Zach Braff!" Aki explains as she hugs Heathcliffe.
"It's okay, Aki, I'm here," Heathcliffe says lovingly before he notices that Aki is only wearing a towel. "Aki, why are you in a towel? What did the Capitol do to you?!"
"Sarutobi-kun, calm down. I was taking a shower when the rebels arrive, and I didn't have time to get dressed," Aki explains.
"Oh, okay! Let's buy you some new clothes tomorrow. But, for now..." Heathcliffe says seductively before he and Aki begin a hotter make-out session than the one Holden and I had. I think I can even hear porn music in the background.
"Get a room!" Smoker, Holden, Usopp, and I shout.
"What?! Who's a tool?!" Robin cried. We all sweatdrop as Ace enters the room. He looks sad and deprived of his caffiene.
"Oh, look! There's Ace! Hana, why don't you say 'hi' to him?" Smoker suggests.
"Hi, Ace!" I say. "What did -"
Ace then strangles me.
"Bitch, ya'll are gonna get all up in that kitchen and make me a sandwich or I will pimp slap you!" Ace demands like he's Madea. I can see Holden, Robin, Aki, Smoker, Heathcliffe, and Usopp, and they have expressions of shock on their face.
Ace did not just go there. He told me to make him a sandwich, the biggest insult to a female heroine of a work of fiction.
Ending Note: Review if you want to see more of Ace acting like Madea.