Chapter 34
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Hello everyone!
I decided that I had time to leave a little note at the top of this one, so yes. This is Host100, but sadly and happily ( So many mixed emotions ) I am still in Germany. I know, moan, cry, but I guess I can't help it. Anyway, it is still the Christmas holidays, so I suppose not many will have time to read anyways but…
I just want to say, thank you so much to everyone who is sticking by me with my slow updates! I really love reading your reviews here when my friend sends them to me ( She is a lifesaver!)
Hopefully updates will be a little faster form here, but not fast enough because I am still on holiday. I hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas! I got a new set of headphones which I am using to listen to music when I actually do write, which is great!
Thanks for everybody's reviews, as always! Really really REALLY appreciated.
See you soon x
Enjoy…
Wanda POV
The first thing I saw while edging back into awareness was a light. Just one lonely glimmer, shining helplessly amongst all the darkness, bearing all the signs of pain, agony and distrust. The light was abandoned, discarded into a hell where nobody would experience its light. It was placed there for nothing- Useless. So what was the point of the light even being there?
However, when I looked in closer, I began to see past the light- Past the appearance of which it had taken at first glance. I knew even better than anybody that there was more behind a person or any living thing than what you first come to see.
The fact was, that the light that I was seeing was not just any light- It was a star. Thankfully, I used it to my advantage. That star was not a sign of pain, or any emotion or feeling of the sort. In my eyes, it was a sign of hope, and it was leading me back to the exit of this hell.
Down where I was now, everything was dark. Pain, misery, despair… the list goes on. Anyhow, the reason why I had been plunged down here was still unknown to me. Everything that I had faced seemed meaningless. Each heartbeat led me closer to the last.
What was the point of living if nobody wanted you? If nobody needed you or cared for you, there simply was no point whatsoever. But for the sake of life, I fought it. All the strangling hands that pinned me down, I fought against. I did not allow them a firm hold. I would not let them drag me under.
Neither Mel nor I knew why I fought it. Death would be so much easier- It was welcoming us. It was so near already, so why wouldn't I just give up?
The answer was still unclear to our eyes. I just kept repeatedly regaining the sense that I wasn't finished yet. This planet, the most challenging of all the others that I had experienced, held onto me like a vice. There was so much still to do- Still one important face I had to see before I died. Before we died.
I wasn't finished yet. I wasn't. I couldn't be. It just didn't make any sense.
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Gasping, I was finally brought to the surface of the whirlpool of memories and overwhelming thoughts that threatened to drown me. My breaths came out painfully, and my chest felt shrunken, like I hadn't been breathing for a long time. Logically, I probably had, but barely.
As I inhaled and exhaled at a more brisk pace than I ever had before, my throat released strange sounds that were relatively new to my ears. Whatever they meant, I guessed it wasn't a particularly good sign.
My throat was so sore… So hoarse.
'It's not a good thing', Melanie whispered back to me inside my mind. 'But at least we're breathing'.
Her attempts to calm me were not very effective, although it still lifted my mood to find that she was at least trying to make me happier. It was a start at least. If we died here, right now, at least we would go, knowing that we were allies- Friends even. Maybe we would even see one and other on the other side…
'It's not death', she stated, her voice barely louder than a breathless little squeak.
'Not yet', I agreed. 'Soon though. We can't have much longer left'.
She paused for a moment. 'That can't be true. It doesn't feel right. It can't be'.
Her words came out in such a panicked rush that I almost smiled amongst the pain. Right now, although I had reached the surface, the pain was crushing be like a wall weighting me down, crushing me and making it impossible for me to lift one single eyelid. The weights were too heavy. I just couldn't bear it.
'What happened?' I blurted out.
She stuttered, confused. 'What do you mean?'
'What happened? Before, I mean. Why are we like this? I just'-
'Can't remember?' She questioned. 'Yes you can. Just think. We have to get stronger Wanderer. We can win- We really can'.
'Why? What's the point? We're going to die anyway. Why not now? Why not here?'
Melanie seemed almost insulted by my announcement of defeat. I couldn't help that I was feeling weak- Maybe she was right. Maybe I was letting myself go all soppy. If I only just tried…
Melanie remained silent as the past flashed before my eyes.
As I begin to drift away from sleep, I start to notice a tight feeling in my limbs. This isn't right- Something isn't right… I just can't pinpoint what exactly that certain thing is. Apparently, Melanie seems to be bearing the same feelings.
'Sit up Wanderer', she whispers, her voice nothing more than a worried and hoarse sound in the back of my head. She sounds so weak- So scared. I want to help her- I just keep failing to know how. Not yet anyway.
'I- Something's wrong. I can feel it…' she says, speaking again, this time her voice even quieter.
'I know', I whisper back to her, my voice matching her current pitch. 'I can feel it too… But what is it?'
I am only just starting to realize that I too, am also helplessly scared. We are just going to have to deal with whatever this is together, until we eventually make it through.
Snapping my eyes open, I imply Melanie's instruction through movements, sliding myself into a sitting position, only to slip back down again onto the floor of the bowl, gasping aloud. Every nerve and cell of our body burns, like a scorching fire being roused alight to stake us, making it almost impossible for us to move a muscle.
As our breath is knocked out of us, we begin to find it incredibly hard to breathe, and we feel it as our lungs close in on themselves, transforming our regular breathing into mild, unsteady pants which rasp in and out of our throat at an irregular rhythm.
I hear a shuffle come from the outside of where I lie- Probably whoever was on guard to watch over me as I slept. A few footsteps echo down the silent caves and into my eardrums, although no figure approaches us- Not that we can see anyway.
We are finding it impossibly difficult to see anything as it is. This is only making things harder.
'Wanda?' Someone asks, although I can barely make out their words. The whole world is spinning.
'Are you alright?' The voice asks again.
Ian- The voice belongs to Ian. Maybe I should tell him- Although maybe I shouldn't. I am just not sure. Everything is just too confusing, and the world continues to spin aimlessly, jerking me around mentally and uncontrollably.
A spasm rocks through my leg, throwing me forwards into the mouth of the opening of the hole. This is my only hope- I truly feel like I am going to die.
'Ian!' I manage to choke as my chest closes in even tighter.
I jerk left and right rapidly, attempting to throw off whatever hands are squeezing me, although there is one slight fault. There are no hands, and nobody is even touching me.
'Wanda!' Ian yells, lurching forwards just as the world goes black.
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Just really want to put in here that I was reading through host interviews. Ect.
If you don't like spoilers, stop here, but it's not a big one… but anyways…
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Read, or don't read. Choose now.
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The host sequel ahs an epolog, then a jogging scene. In one of these two books to come, Ian will play the guitarre, or do something musical.
Small, I know, but SO EXITING! I am betting on this march or earlier for the sequel.
Fingers crossed!